OCD Prayer Compulsions

[KGrande]

So, I have OCD. I pray compulsively, I think.
When I pray, I cannot just say "Please, forgive me for that thought. I didn't believe it. Amen"
I have many rules and regulations on my prayers that change around slightly depending on the situation, and because of this it can take a long time to ask forgiveness for just one thing.
I'm about to start ERP with my therapist soon and I am excited and also very afraid. I'm excited because I'm ready to have my life back. I spend all day researching OCD, the unforgivable sin, etc. etc. Worrying, "Did I just cause that bad thought?", "Was that thought mine?", asking forgiveness over and over (because the things to ask forgiveness for just don't stop), and so on. On the other hand, I'm scared. What if it doesn't help me? Also, is ERP (exposure response therapy) sinful? They want you to NOT do any compulsions when a bad thought comes, for me that's praying. I pray for almost every bad thought I have, because I can't stand the fear of not being forgiven. Will I have the guts to not ask forgiveness for the thoughts? Will I be able to sit with uncertainty about if I just sinned?

Does anyone else with OCD have rules and regulations on their prayers? If so what are they, and how do you make yourself stop and just trust in Gods forgiveness and understanding?
My list can become very long and frustrating, and mostly centers around getting every specific detail correct like when, why, where, something happened I have to put it all in there. I cant be wrong and I have to do it perfectly and usually in a specific order. If i get anything wrong I'm sinning and if I dont "do it right" it doesnt count.

Any words of advise on how to trust in Gods mercy rather than trusting in myself to pray perfectly and remember everything to be forgiven?
Any advise on ERP and getting over the fear of it being a sin to not ask forgiveness for bad thoughts?

 

[windwhistler]

When I pray, I cannot just say "Please, forgive me for that thought. I didn't believe it.

My first question is whether you are dwelling on sinful thoughts or do they just float or appear in your mind, often tormenting you? For example, Satan knows I hate perversity and I suspect it is he who often put perverse thoughts in my mind that made me cringe. Enjoying them wasn't a problem since they made me sick. This used to happen lots, but rarely anymore. These are not sin. Dwelling on them purposely is sin.

I notice that you are very young. Sometimes we have to pray for a long time about such disorders. I believe those that clung to me also drove me to pray - more fervently than I do now unfortunately. It is true that he will bring good out of everything that happens to those who love him.

I have used "thought stopping." Almost shouting, sometimes in my mind or even out loud, at the thoughts that seemed to play ping-pong in my brain. At first it worked for a few seconds. After practicing it seemed to help sometimes. I still struggle with continuing a conversation in my mind long after the other person is gone. Sometimes I will read a book to get it out of my mind.

I'm sorry, I don't know anything about ERP therapy. But it seems to me that not praying at all would be spiritually harmful. Hopefully there is a way the therapist can find to allow praise and thanksgiving at least. Maybe focus on scriptures about God's love?

Right now I pray that the Holy Spirit will guide you, will help you recognize thoughts that are condemnation and not from him. Will give you an ever deepening awareness of God's love. And will give you wisdom about these things.

He will be faithful to you as you struggle with this.

 

[KGrande]

My first question is whether you are dwelling on sinful thoughts or do they just float or appear in your mind, often tormenting you? For example, Satan knows I hate perversity and I suspect it is he who often put perverse thoughts in my mind that made me cringe. Enjoying them wasn't a problem since they made me sick. This used to happen lots, but rarely anymore. These are not sin. Dwelling on them purposely is sin.

I notice that you are very young. Sometimes we have to pray for a long time about such disorders. I believe those that clung to me also drove me to pray - more fervently than I do now unfortunately. It is true that he will bring good out of everything that happens to those who love him.

I have used "thought stopping." Almost shouting, sometimes in my mind or even out loud, at the thoughts that seemed to play ping-pong in my brain. At first it worked for a few seconds. After practicing it seemed to help sometimes. I still struggle with continuing a conversation in my mind long after the other person is gone. Sometimes I will read a book to get it out of my mind.

I'm sorry, I don't know anything about ERP therapy. But it seems to me that not praying at all would be spiritually harmful. Hopefully there is a way the therapist can find to allow praise and thanksgiving at least. Maybe focus on scriptures about God's love?

Right now I pray that the Holy Spirit will guide you, will help you recognize thoughts that are condemnation and not from him. Will give you an ever deepening awareness of God's love. And will give you wisdom about these things.

He will be faithful to you as you struggle with this.

No, I don't dwell on them in a pleasing way. I don't have them and enjoy them and then keep thinking about them on purpose. I hate them. They come and I immediately shake my head as if itll make it fall out, and say "no" or "not true" or 'no,no,no", and I'm stressed about it because theyre are terrible and then sometimes ANOTHER thought comes soon after and thats usually when I fear that I caused it because I was somehow still focused on the first thought (not enjoyably, I dont want them or believe them, i just want to stress that) and then the 2nd thought came.
OCD causes you to think bad things and I just have a hard time sometimes figuring out if they were my fault.

ERP therapy basically trains your brain into not sending bad thoughts. Youre supposed to when a thought comes sit there and not do your compulsions to relive the anxiety it brings. No matter how stressed you are youre supposed to just be stressed and sit with the uncertainty, and eventually the anxiety goes away. After doing this for a while your brain stops sending bad thoughts because you aren't reacting to them. Im sure I can still pray, they just will want me to stop praying every time a intrusive thought comes into my mind.

 

[SANTOSO]

So, I have OCD. I pray compulsively, I think.
When I pray, I cannot just say "Please, forgive me for that thought. I didn't believe it. Amen"
I have many rules and regulations on my prayers that change around slightly depending on the situation, and because of this it can take a long time to ask forgiveness for just one thing.
I'm about to start ERP with my therapist soon and I am excited and also very afraid. I'm excited because I'm ready to have my life back. I spend all day researching OCD, the unforgivable sin, etc. etc. Worrying, "Did I just cause that bad thought?", "Was that thought mine?", asking forgiveness over and over (because the things to ask forgiveness for just don't stop), and so on. On the other hand, I'm scared. What if it doesn't help me? Also, is ERP (exposure response therapy) sinful? They want you to NOT do any compulsions when a bad thought comes, for me that's praying. I pray for almost every bad thought I have, because I can't stand the fear of not being forgiven. Will I have the guts to not ask forgiveness for the thoughts? Will I be able to sit with uncertainty about if I just sinned?

Does anyone else with OCD have rules and regulations on their prayers? If so what are they, and how do you make yourself stop and just trust in Gods forgiveness and understanding?
My list can become very long and frustrating, and mostly centers around getting every specific detail correct like when, why, where, something happened I have to put it all in there. I cant be wrong and I have to do it perfectly and usually in a specific order. If i get anything wrong I'm sinning and if I dont "do it right" it doesnt count.

Any words of advise on how to trust in Gods mercy rather than trusting in myself to pray perfectly and remember everything to be forgiven?
Any advise on ERP and getting over the fear of it being a sin to not ask forgiveness for bad thoughts?

Hi KGrande,
I am delighted that you pray a lot; though preferably not compulsively but you come to delight in the Lord.

I don’t have OCD, but I do know how to prepare for prayer. I never term that as rules and regulations for prayer, but I do pray in accordance to the Word.

It is good to pray daily seeking the Lord’s mercy and ask the Lord for forgiveness every time when we offend or grieve the Lord. Why ? It is because we can be get back to the Lord’s side or get back living under His grace not His wrath.

I understand your problem that you seem not believing that you are forgiven despite that you have asked many times and you are scared. First of all, you need to understand that God did not give you a spirit of fear. If you are afraid and scared, it is because of the enemies ; they are rulers, authorities and the cosmic powers governing this present darkness and the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realm. For this is what we have heard:

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!" -Romans 8:15

How to deal with the enemy, we can talk later! Yes, you are looking for answer to that compulsive asking for forgiveness; how to deal with that ! Hear what the Lord have spoken:

And Jesus answered them, "Have faith in God. -Mark 11:22
Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. -Mark 11:23
Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. -Mark 11:24
And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses." -Mark 11:25

You must understand the conditions that our Lord Jesus Christ have spoken. When you understand, you know you should not doubt and believe what you say come to pass.
And you know not only to ask for forgiveness from the Lord but you also need to release forgiveness to others who wrong you.

Perhaps, you may know these conditions but you still unable to trust that you yourselves are forgiven.This is what we have heard:

Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the LORD. -Psalms 32:10

When David is revealed these words, he know that he is to prepare his heart by first trusting in the steadfast love of the Lord, then the manifestation of the Lord’s steadfast love will surround him or become evident with the Lord’s presence. Likewise, when you trust in the Lord’s forgiveness, then the manifestation of joy of being forgiven by the Lord will become evident to you with His presence or His joy entering your heart.

You mention about being scared ! How to overcome this fear, you may say !
Remember what the Lord have said :

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." -John 16:33

and this is what apostle John have spoken:

For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world'our faith. -1 John 5:4

Do you notice that our Lord said to us to “take heart” that He overcomes the world ? Why ? It is because the Lord has overcome the tribulation and fear in the world !
Therefore, those who are born of God overcome the tribulation and fear, that is in the world through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. That is including you and me.

Thereafter, we need to be in Christ or in union with Christ or in union with His words, then we will have peace of the Lord.

How about those recurring bad thoughts! This is what we have heard from apostle James:

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. -James 4:7

It is obvious that we just submit ourselves to God in prayer and resist the devil in the mighty name of our Lord Jesus Christ when the devil try to harass with bad thoughts, and the devil with his cohorts will flee.

When those oppressive or disturbing thoughts and feelings come, we need just to pray a short prayer again and again till the devil flees; resisting the devil no room in the heart and mind to oppress or disturb, then the devil flee.

Short prayer :
I submit myself to God and I resist the devil and his cohorts in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen

So, you must trust the Heavenly Father’s love, Father of grace that He adopt you through His Son, Jesus Christ and have given you His spirit, as Father God have promised.

Remember that you are God’s daughter who is bought with the precious blood of His Son, Jesus Christ.
Draw near to Him, He wil draw near you.
Seek Him wholeheartedly, you shall find Him.

Give thanks to God, for He is good. His grace continues forever. Hallelujah. Amen

 

[Daniel Armin]

Hey, I suffer from Scrupulosity as well, although my obsessions are making promises to God unwillingly, and having a fear of being binded to it. I have tried breaking these fake promises the devil tricks me into making and I just feel like giving up, but I swear that God has bigger plans for me than to just sit around and be anxious. I need to trust God. But how? Will he take something I love away from me? I’m so worried sometimes I don’t want to get out of bed, but there’s no time to just sit around and we anxious. I wonder why God gives us these mental illnesses and for what reasons. Why am I so different? What do you guys think I should do? Can any of you please pray for me? I will pray for you.

 

[Daniel Armin]

Guys whoever struggles with OCD and makes promises to God to not deal with a compulsion, please send me a message on Insta, my user is danielarmin. Please help me because I’m worried I’m binded to these falsely made oaths and if God will punish me. I just want to live normally.

 

[SANTOSO]

Hey, I suffer from Scrupulosity as well, although my obsessions are making promises to God unwillingly, and having a fear of being binded to it. I have tried breaking these fake promises the devil tricks me into making and I just feel like giving up, but I swear that God has bigger plans for me than to just sit around and be anxious. I need to trust God. But how? Will he take something I love away from me? I’m so worried sometimes I don’t want to get out of bed, but there’s no time to just sit around and we anxious. I wonder why God gives us these mental illnesses and for what reasons. Why am I so different? What do you guys think I should do? Can any of you please pray for me? I will pray for you.

Dear Daniel Armin,
Have you heard this:
Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the LORD. -Psalms 32:10

We have been told to put trust in the Lord then the steadfast love of the Lord will surround us ! That is the key to receive the steadfast love of the Lord !

Perhaps you may say, how to trust in the steadfast love of the Lord ?

This is what we have heard:
Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! -Lamentations 3:19
My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. -Lamentations 3:20
But this I call to MIND, and therefore I have HOPE: -Lamentations 3:21
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; -Lamentations 3:22
they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. -Lamentations 3:23
"The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in Him." -Lamentations 3:24
The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. -Lamentations 3:25

So these are what we are told : to call to our mind daily or every moments that we want to draw near God, that is, we proclaim with our mouths and trust with our whole-heart that The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; His mercies never come to an end;
The steadfast of the Lord and His compassion or mercy are new every morning; great is His faithfulness. The Lord is our portion and therefore we have hope in Him.

What has been declared about God by those who love Him ?

Who is a God like you, pardoning iniquity and passing over transgression for the remnant of his inheritance? He does not retain his anger forever, because he delights in steadfast love. -Micah 7:18
He will again have compassion on us; he will tread our iniquities underfoot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. -Micah 7:19
You will show faithfulness to Jacob and steadfast love to Abraham, as you have sworn to our fathers from the days of old. -Micah 7:20

Be anxious, no more, Daniel Armin !
Cast your anxiety upon the Lord Jesus Christ because He cares for you !

How He cares for you !
This is what we have heard:
Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior,
who DAILY bears our burdens.-Psalms 68:19 NIV

Yes, the Lord also bears up your burden daily ; that is how good He is !!!

Remember what Peter has said about Lord Jesus Christ, our savior:
how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power. He went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with him. -Acts 10:38

Come to the Lord Jesus Christ and let the Lord heal you from the oppression of the devil.

How?
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. -James 4:7

Just pray short prayer again and again until those disturbing and oppressive thoughts disappear; what prayer ? This is the prayer:

I submit myself to God. I resist the devil in the mighty name of my Lord Jesus Christ. Amen

So, Daniel Armin; don’t forget what the Lord has spoken:
On the last day of the feast, the great day, Jesus stood up and cried out, "If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. -John 7:37
Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, 'Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.'" -John 7:38
Now this he said about the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were to receive, -John 7:39