Not sure where i belong

[Macchiato]

I've really been battling with myself mentally and spiritually. I just don't think I should call myself a Christian.

I don't read or pray anymore. I don't care about spiritual warfare. I have no desire for God. I feel very much betrayed by him. I belive in God but I feel im not better than the demons lol

But I'm just at a very rough space in my life. I'm filled with rage and bitterness. I don't trust God and never will.

I just don't care. Like at all. I just respect God is God but I have no desire to pursue him. I don't think I can call myself a Christian but I do belive in him. I just don't want to do mental gymnastics to put faith in someone I feel let me down.

I just wonder what category do I belong. I'm definitely not Atheist or agnostic. I just idk.

I just don't love God or feel anything for him. Nothing. I don't want to read,pray or anything. I just feel apathetic towards God.

 

[d taylor]

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Well if you have believed in Jesus for God's free gift of Eternal Life salvation. Believing Jesus is who He says He is The Son of God/The Messiah, the resurrection and the life.

Then you are a permanent born again child of God.

 

[Joseph G]

I've really been battling with myself mentally and spiritually. I just don't think I should call myself a Christian.

I don't read or pray anymore. I don't care about spiritual warfare. I have no desire for God. I feel very much betrayed by him. I belive in God but I feel im not better than the demons lol

But I'm just at a very rough space in my life. I'm filled with rage and bitterness. I don't trust God and never will.

I just don't care. Like at all. I just respect God is God but I have no desire to pursue him. I don't think I can call myself a Christian but I do belive in him. I just don't want to do mental gymnastics to put faith in someone I feel let me down.

I just wonder what category do I belong. I'm definitely not Atheist or agnostic. I just idk.

I just don't love God or feel anything for him. Nothing. I don't want to read,pray or anything. I just feel apathetic towards God.

What is that you feel that He owes you? Is His expression of His love for you on the cross not sufficient? What is it that He has held back from you that could possibly be as valuable - that you can keep for eternity?

 

[jacks]

Don't be too hard on yourself. We all go through spiritual dry spells. Try just a small prayer, asking God to make you feel closer to Him. Then let it go. See if you don't feel better in a few days.

 

[timf]

Your honesty is a refreshing. Many times people come to a disappointment with God because they were told something about God that was incorrect. The Christianpioneer.com web site has some interesting articles in the blog archive. Here is one about why God allows suffering.


Why There is Suffering

God is often seen by people as a meany because people can suffer in life. This assumes that the perfect life would be one of comfort and ease. That this is a false assumption can be seen in the story of the Prodigal Son. He had every advantage and comfort of a prosperous life. As a result, he rebelled against his father and sought to strike out on his own. He came to an understanding of the truth because of his suffering. It was suffering that helped rescue him.

We can suffer because of consequence such as hitting our thumb with a hammer. However, not all suffering is self-inflicted. People can look at the world and see injustice, hunger, homelessness, illness, and even old age and see suffering that they attribute to God’s failure to make life comfortable. The hardships of this fallen natural world are not God being unfair, but having love so great as to even see people suffer in the hope that they will learn to see truth. We have turned the world God gave us into a sinking ship. It is God’s love that allows this painful world to continue that some might come to see truth and turn to him.

It has been said that the place least likely for people to have an interest in God is a country club. The places more likely for people to have an interest in God are hospitals and prisons. God gave us free will. We also have suffering almost as a gift to rescue us from the soul destroying effects of using our free will to pursue selfishness. Some see prosperity and comfort as blessings from God, when they might more accurately be seen as deceptions from Satan.

Moses warned Israel that when they entered into the promised land they would transition from the hardships of wandering in the wilderness for 40 years to inheriting a land with wells already dug and orchards already planted. It was this prosperity that would tempt them to forget God (which is what happened).

Seeking truth, speaking truth, and following truth are not always activities that produce pleasure and comfort. Often we only undertake them in response to suffering. Old age is an example of a process of discomfort to disconnect us from this world and induce us to consider the next.

God could have chosen to wipe us all out for using our free will to inflict suffering on ourselves and others. Instead God chose to send Jesus to pay for all sin. If we trust in what Jesus did, we are placed into what is called “the body of Christ” by the Holy Spirit. This placement becomes the means we have to enter into the world to come. Jesus is our “lifeboat”.

As long as we are in this present world and live in the flesh, we will encounter suffering caused by ourselves, others, and the natural world. Even after we become Christian, we can experience difficulty and suffering. However, we have a more sure hope.

For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; - 2 Corinthians 4:16-17