No marriage in heaven... confused/ranting

[Observer]

Mark 12 (New International Version)

Marriage at the Resurrection

18Then the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him with a question. 19"Teacher," they said, "Moses wrote for us that if a man's brother dies and leaves a wife but no children, the man must marry the widow and have children for his brother. 20Now there were seven brothers. The first one married and died without leaving any children. 21The second one married the widow, but he also died, leaving no child. It was the same with the third. 22In fact, none of the seven left any children. Last of all, the woman died too. 23At the resurrection whose wife will she be, since the seven were married to her?"

24Jesus replied, "Are you not in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God? 25When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. 26Now about the dead rising—have you not read in the book of Moses, in the account of the bush, how God said to him, 'I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob'? 27He is not the God of the dead, but of the living. You are badly mistaken!"

And the similar verses... Matthew 22:30 & Luke 20:35

My boyfriend is a Christian and I somewhat believe in God.

I believed that God put my boyfriend and I together and that we'd get married. I felt content in our relationship, because I thought God had put us together for eternity, but I came across that verse in the bible. I understand that we could know eachother in heaven, but anyone I've spoken to about this has told me that we won't have a special bond, be lovers, be married etc. Someone did disagree... she's a part of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She said she believes in eternal marriage & that people just don't understand what Jesus was saying.

It makes me so sad to think that the relationship we feel so much toward and the marriage we hoped for, isn't considered spiritual at all. It must only be physical if it ends when our flesh does. Any time I think about my boyfriend, it makes me cry. Actually talking to him is even worse, I just can't stop crying. All he does is try to distract me, cheer me up, show me love, talk like normal... and I wish that I could just let it go and help us to be happy together, but everything just makes it worse. Just seeing his face makes me feel sick to my stomach. I feel like I'm mourning him and what we have together. I literally just can't stop crying, for hours and hours... I'm crying now, it seems neverending. Am I supposed to just accept it and suck it up or what?

I feel so stupid for typing this on a public forum for any stranger to read, but I just don't know what to do. I don't know what the point of this post is... I'm guessing I'll just get the same answer and still feel the same way. Why would God put us together, if we're supposed to end? And why do I feel so strongly against the idea of no marriage or lovers in heaven? Maybe it's just a selfish physical urge. I just thought what we had was spiritual... that it would mean something to God beyond our bodies dying. I felt like our souls would still be connected as marriage in heaven. I felt like we had so many things to look forward to on Earth and in Heaven, TOGETHER, as lovers, as connected souls... now I feel like everything is destroyed, because I can't even look at him without feeling like I've got a death sentence, and feeling like I'm going to have a heart attack.

My boyfriend said he doesn't like the idea of not being together in that way in heaven, but he's not reacting to it like I am. He just chooses to ignore it. He always says, "I can't change it, so what am I supposed to do?"

Everybody says heaven is perfect... but my soul would have to be changed against my will by God, between dying and going to heaven, for me to be happy without my boyfriend being my lover. It's not just my flesh that needs him in that way, my soul does as well. I just feel like everything I thought we had is meaningless, because it must be insignificant to eternity if God doesn't enable it in heaven. I wish that I never even thought about it. We're probably not even meant to be together... He's a Christian and I'm considered an unbeliever... the bible is against that as well... but that's another problem that's been worried over already...

 

[New_Found_Faith]

Mark 12 (New International Version)

Marriage at the Resurrection

18Then the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him with a question. 19"Teacher," they said, "Moses wrote for us that if a man's brother dies and leaves a wife but no children, the man must marry the widow and have children for his brother. 20Now there were seven brothers. The first one married and died without leaving any children. 21The second one married the widow, but he also died, leaving no child. It was the same with the third. 22In fact, none of the seven left any children. Last of all, the woman died too. 23At the resurrection whose wife will she be, since the seven were married to her?"

24Jesus replied, "Are you not in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God? 25When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. 26Now about the dead rising—have you not read in the book of Moses, in the account of the bush, how God said to him, 'I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob'? 27He is not the God of the dead, but of the living. You are badly mistaken!"

And the similar verses... Matthew 22:30 & Luke 20:35

My boyfriend is a Christian and I somewhat believe in God.

I believed that God put my boyfriend and I together and that we'd get married. I felt content in our relationship, because I thought God had put us together for eternity, but I came across that verse in the bible. I understand that we could know eachother in heaven, but anyone I've spoken to about this has told me that we won't have a special bond, be lovers, be married etc. Someone did disagree... she's a part of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She said she believes in eternal marriage & that people just don't understand what Jesus was saying.

It makes me so sad to think that the relationship we feel so much toward and the marriage we hoped for, isn't considered spiritual at all. It must only be physical if it ends when our flesh does. Any time I think about my boyfriend, it makes me cry. Actually talking to him is even worse, I just can't stop crying. All he does is try to distract me, cheer me up, show me love, talk like normal... and I wish that I could just let it go and help us to be happy together, but everything just makes it worse. Just seeing his face makes me feel sick to my stomach. I feel like I'm mourning him and what we have together. I literally just can't stop crying, for hours and hours... I'm crying now, it seems neverending. Am I supposed to just accept it and suck it up or what?

I feel so stupid for typing this on a public forum for any stranger to read, but I just don't know what to do. I don't know what the point of this post is... I'm guessing I'll just get the same answer and still feel the same way. Why would God put us together, if we're supposed to end? And why do I feel so strongly against the idea of no marriage or lovers in heaven? Maybe it's just a selfish physical urge. I just thought what we had was spiritual... that it would mean something to God beyond our bodies dying. I felt like our souls would still be connected as marriage in heaven. I felt like we had so many things to look forward to on Earth and in Heaven, TOGETHER, as lovers, as connected souls... now I feel like everything is destroyed, because I can't even look at him without feeling like I've got a death sentence, and feeling like I'm going to have a heart attack.

My boyfriend said he doesn't like the idea of not being together in that way in heaven, but he's not reacting to it like I am. He just chooses to ignore it. He always says, "I can't change it, so what am I supposed to do?"

Everybody says heaven is perfect... but my soul would have to be changed against my will by God, between dying and going to heaven, for me to be happy without my boyfriend being my lover. It's not just my flesh that needs him in that way, my soul does as well. I just feel like everything I thought we had is meaningless, because it must be insignificant to eternity if God doesn't enable it in heaven. I wish that I never even thought about it. We're probably not even meant to be together... He's a Christian and I'm considered an unbeliever... the bible is against that as well... but that's another problem that's been worried over already...

Marriage ends at death (in the vows; the words 'till death do us part') because the purpose of marriage is procreation. God can't 'enable' marriages in heaven because there will be no need for it. Heaven is a state of full communion with the Lord, with no distraction (human relationships included). I don't think you understand exactly whatr heaven is... it is not where good people go and are rewarded for their good dreeds, it is where servants of Christ who have sacrificed their lives to him go to live in full communion with him.

In Matthew 10:36-39 Christ says:

"He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. "And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. "He who has found his life shall lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake shall find it."

In order to find life in Christ we must be willing to sacrifice what we hold dear, and in order to live we must give our lives and selfishness away to Christ.

You also said you are an 'unbeleiver' and that your boyfriend is a Christian. What is it that you don't beleive?
Sean

 

[NothingButTheBlood]

You mention lover several times. You will not be in the current form your in and physical needs are not neseccary. That does not mean there is no interaction between spirits. I don't think there is sex abviously and there is no 'marriage' because we will all love one another through God. If your boyfriend is a Christian and reading the Bible you should understand if you have not accepted Christ as your savior you will not be with him anyway.

 

[Observer]

"lover" isn't physical

 

[NothingButTheBlood]

Sorry but that word to me means someone who had a physical relationship with someone.

 

[HeIsMyKing!]

If you ever become a christian, you will realize that being totally consumed with God and having him the center of your thoughts will be awesome. God has blessed me with my husband while I am on this earth. Personally I can not wait till all I need and have is God. God can offer so much more than you can imagine. You will always have your boyfriend, but in heaven it will be in a different way. Trust me, you will gain more than you could ever lose in heaven.

HeIsMyKing!

 

[alhambra]

This topic is GREAT.... I have often wondered the same things as Observer. It is a good question and worth asking. I feel that many Christians may have some expectations regarding the eternity of marriage as it is right now which might not be exactly true.

Right now, in this form, there is no doubt that many of us need the intimacy of marriage in emotional, physical and spiritual level. But the fact is that as we become full and complete in the future, also our needs change. We enter into a completely different level. This might explain why marriage is seen as something relatively temporary, something that might or will end when either one dies.

I think many think about the Garden of Eden and Adam and Eve as their state of being in the future, but the fact is that we don't have too many detailed details regarding the real difference between original paradise and the futured one. One is sure; we will be completely different. Right now it is impossible for us to understand what it means and what could be our needs then.


This is something that asks faith.... The Bible says that God fulfills every desire of his servants. Among many, many things God gave us marriage. What a marvelous thing it seems to be! (Sorry; don't have any personal experience on that... ) Personally, as a man, I can't help thinking what a great gift Christian women are. We have all the reason to believe that God will give us many other great things in the future. These things will fulfill our needs in the future. We don't know exactly what these things are but we have every reason to trust and believe in God's plans - God's plans are perfect....


Thank you for having the courage to share your thoughts, Observer. I wish you luck and happiness for the both of you, and I hope that considering these things will give you more peace of mind, and that you could focus that extra energy to your relationship! And don't forget that studying and reading Bible is the best and smartest thing you can do for the future of you both...

 

[Nightfire]

Why would God put us together, if we're supposed to end? And why do I feel so strongly against the idea of no marriage or lovers in heaven? Maybe it's just a selfish physical urge. I just thought what we had was spiritual... that it would mean something to God beyond our bodies dying. I felt like our souls would still be connected as marriage in heaven. I felt like we had so many things to look forward to on Earth and in Heaven, TOGETHER, as lovers, as connected souls... now I feel like everything is destroyed, because I can't even look at him without feeling like I've got a death sentence, and feeling like I'm going to have a heart attack.

Dear Observer

In the first place, it sounds as if you two aren't already married, so the only separation you have to worry about is earthly. If you want to be with him, do your best to make the relationship something that would last for eternity, by working to keep it pure, loving and holy. Marriage is a gift from God, a piece of heaven he wants us to enjoy on earth. Worrying about a future separation is like worrying about going to hell... a separation God promised He would keep far from you if you hold onto Him.

The second point is that you assume that you understand what it means to be "like the angels". Jesus only said that angels don't get married; so marriage doesn't exist in heaven. (Your Mormon friend has her reasons for believing that it does, but I assure you they're not Biblical.) But think about it: if a union as special and complete as marriage can exist on earth, while we're still in our limited physical bodies (and where sex is just a momentary expression of that union), how much more significant wouldn't that union be in heaven, where we will have spiritual bodies in inseparable love!

Remember that Jesus also says "Abraham, Isaac and Jacob" is still Abraham, Isaac and Jacob - they retain their individual identities. Yes, the nature of things will change, but God was never one to consider separation a good thing, so I believe it's unnecessary to worry about it anywhere except in this life. God wouldn't promise a better life and make it worse.

 

[JosephD3000]

i was confused about the same saying that jesus said in matthew 22:30
i asked God, lord tell me the truth will there be marriage in heaven,
i said, if yes send your Holy Spirit upon me, if no let me feel heat on my body,
right then i felt his Holy Spirit, meaning yes there will be marriage in heaven.
after i doubted, i ask jesus two more times that same day, and got the same answer, "yes there will be"

 

[JosephD3000]

somewhere in the bible it says something like this, "what God does is not temporal but eternal"

 

[lexie]

I feel the way you do, Observer..

I'm not a Christian, and neither is my boyfriend, but I do believe and have faith in God.

It disturbed me somewhat that such a sacred union, blessed by God himself would be rendered null and void in Heaven. After all, marriage is not only the union of flesh but also the union of the mind and spirit. Marriage is not only for procreation.


I've looked up the bible and found the following statements:

Matthew 22:30
"For when the dead rise to life, they will be like angels in heaven and will not marry."

Matthew 19:5-6
"And God said, for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one. So they are no longer two, but one. Man must not separate what God has joined together.

I Peter 3:7
In the same way you husbands must live with your wives with the proper understanding that they are the weaker sex. Treat them with respect, because they also will recieve, together with you, God's gift of life. Do this so that nothing will interfere with your prayers.


From what i understand, a husband and wife are considered as one, and the things that God does are deemed eternal. What then about marriage, which is a convent from God?

I personally do not believe that God would take away such an intimate bond. Perhaps what Jesus meant was there would be no "earthly marriages" in heaven, but a husband and wife would be lovingly united in a bond that transcends worldly imagination. I cannot imagine Heaven without the love and intimacy i share with my lover now.

 

[JosephD3000]

 

[Gospel Trafficker]

Marriage is defined as 1 bride and 1 groom. We will be married to Christ. He is the bridegroom, we are the Bride. Just look at the the wedding ceremony, it has nothing to do with us. Its all about Him. The man stands at the alter, in the image of Christ. The trumpets blow, and the doors fly open. Then here is the beautiful bride in all white. She is in the image of humanity. She wears white to symbolize the righteouness of Christ. She goes up the aisle to meet her groom. That is the rapture. You just acted it out. Then you are joined with the man (Christ) for eternity. that is where the eternity thing comes in. the wedding of a man and woman is a play for what is to come! Hope this helps.

 

[Sketcher]

Marraige here is just a brief and comparatively poor illustration of what Heaven will be like - marraige at its best, I mean. The closeness that only a husband and wife should share will be like the closeness everyone will have to God in heaven. Not the physical, mind you. Here's a passage describing it:

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. " - Ephesians 5:25-32

Now, you won't find "Eros" (erotic love) in that description if you look at the original Greek. So this makes guys like me rest easy, because a sexual connection to God would absolutely freak me out. But the closeness is going to be there.

 

[Gospel Trafficker]

Now, you won't find "Eros" (erotic love) in that description if you look at the original Greek. So this makes guys like me rest easy, because a sexual connection to God would absolutely freak me out. But the closeness is going to be there.

Im with you, But its still fun as a guy to tell people "my next husband is going to be a carpenter, but not only that, a jewish carpenter!" It really freaks them out. and Im with you on the sexual thing bro.

 

[cyberfugue]

Observer,

Jesus said there would be no marriage in heaven as it is on earth. I'll take him at his word. However, I'm certain that special bonds between loved ones on earth will in no way be diminished in God's country. In fact, they will be enhanced. The good things God has given us here on earth are only pale reflections of what He will give us when His Kingdom comes.

God does not want you to be unhappy. You can count on that fact.

 

[ALIOSIAS]

Why don' you receive the Lord Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior and start leading the supernatural Christian Life instead of the life of anxiety, despair, dejection, guilt, resentment, depression, and finally death.
What do you have to loose?

 

[Johnnz]

Marriage ends at death (in the vows; the words 'till death do us part') because the purpose of marriage is procreation. God can't 'enable' marriages in heaven because there will be no need for it. Heaven is a state of full communion with the Lord, with no distraction (human relationships included).

A somewhat sad post. Of course there will be relationships in heaven. How can you imagine otherwise? We don;t leaveour humanity behind, it is renewed with a new body and wondrously enhanced in all its capabilities. Read C S Lewis "The Great Divorce" for some intriguing insights.

Marriage won't be the same as it is now. That is what Jesus meant. Exactly what heaven will entail we don't know, but we won't be in a sexless, relationless existence I can assure you. Throw out your Greek inspired gnosticism that wronglyfully diminishes our God given humanity. God did not create us as bodily humans as one big mistake. In fact, He even took on our humanity, that our humanity might come to a glorious fulfillment of God's original purposes for it when God recreates this earth as the new heavens and the new earth.

It will only be those in hell who will have no social functions and no physical pleasures.

John
NZ

 

[.Mikha'el.]

A somewhat sad post. Of course there will be relationships in heaven. How can you imagine otherwise? We don;t leaveour humanity behind, it is renewed with a new body and wondrously enhanced in all its capabilities. Read C S Lewis "The Great Divorce" for some intriguing insights.

Marriage won't be the same as it is now. That is what Jesus meant. Exactly what heaven will entail we don't know, but we won't be in a sexless, relationless existence I can assure you. Throw out your Greek inspired gnosticism that wronglyfully diminishes our God given humanity. God did not create us as bodily humans as one big mistake. In fact, He even took on our humanity, that our humanity might come to a glorious fulfillment of God's original purposes for it when God recreates this earth as the new heavens and the new earth.

It will only be those in hell who will have no social functions and no physical pleasures.

John
NZ

This is a sad post. There is absolutely nothing within the context of the passage to back up your claim about what Jesus meant, and everything to contradict it. If marriages did exist in any form in heaven, Jesus would have directly answered the question, instead of calling the Saducees ignorant.

 

[Johnnz]

Marriage as we now know it was instituted after the fall. Jesus clearly taught that our kind of marriage would not exist in heaven. But he did not say what our relationship would be, just as He did not tell us what a resurrection body will be like. We shaljust have to wait and see.

To suggest that there will be no distracting relationships in heaven is what I found so sad. Jesus never taught that, and such a position has no explicit statement to rely on. It also would negate the value of God creating us as image bearers of Himself, people who live in community.

John
NZ