No interest in a romantic relationship, though prophesied to be married?

[Anne Onymous]

I'll immediately say that I don't really know which category this belongs in, and for that I'm sorry.

So, a bit of background: I'm 21 years old and have never so much as experienced having a crush on someone. As a young child, I just had this gut feeling I'd never fall in love. Now, don't mistake this for a sad story, I was never bothered by it; I can't feel loss for something I simply never had. (I actually think the notion that you need a romantic relationship to feel fulfilled is narrowminded.)
I do not like physical touch, and I find verbally expressing affection very stilted and embarrassing (I'm autistic, and while we aren't all like that, I am). I much prefer to spend quality time with my loved ones... which isn't bad, though it's simply not wife material.
Before I converted to Christianity, I associated with the LGBTQ+ community, since their terms "asexual" and "aromantic" resonated with me. This now doesn't sit that well with me, and I'm trying to pull my oar out of the water in that regard (which is awkward given many of my old friends identify with it somehow, but that's a separate issue), though I still believe those words accurately describe me. I felt justified in my lack of interest given the seventh chapter in 1 Corinthians.

So, everything was fine until I go to church one day, and a visiting pastor tells me (while praying over me for a totally unrelated medical issue that I was struggling to even get a diagnosis for, to make matters more confusing) "God has a husband for you." I didn't even reply for a while; the first thought on my mind was, "There must be a mistake here." He went on to give me the instructions "dream about your wedding" (I guess he knew I had written that off quite early in my life), and "don't look [for a husband]" (good, I wouldn't know where to begin to).

So, I tried to keep an open mind. Maybe I'm straight with taste so specific, not even I know what it is. (It can't technically be disproven unless I just live and die single.) But time goes on, and I just... I don't see it. I'm not interested, no two ways about it. There's nothing I want from any given relationship that I can't find in a family member or friend.
There's also the issue that I've never wanted children, and actually I've had a doctor tell me it'd be a bad idea for me to get pregnant (I have a certain birth defect in my circulatory system.) In addition to the physical detriment it would wreak on my body, I am just a bad fit for motherhood mentally. I have autism as I mentioned (and I mean absolutely no slight against autistic parents, in fact I was raised by a pair) which in my personal case means some pretty bad executive dysfunction, and getting overwhelmed easily. This, plus my dysthymia (or I guess persistent depressive disorder nowadays?), and most importantly the sheer fact that raising children does not interest me in the slightest (I have many other things I want to do in life), makes me a truly terrible candidate for being a parent. I'd lose my mind quickly, I know this about myself—I can hardly babysit without needing a break to be alone so I don't snap. I'm not even an impatient person otherwise; childcare is just a particular weakness I guess.
Anyway, I don't see what the point of me getting married is; it seems obvious to me that I would do way better with a best friend/roommate. It's been 10 or 11 months, and I've had more inner turmoil over this than I'd like to admit. I feel like one of two things will happen: 1. I'll stay single, and therefore be going against God's plan, which obviously I'm not trying to do, or 2. I won't stay single, which is making me feel like I'm being pushed to be someone I'm not.* Yes, yes, there's the chance I'll meet someone who changes my mind and it'll actually go fine... but what are the odds? What Christian guy is looking for some eccentric who doesn't actually want a romantic relationship or a family? I don't know, I'm struggling to see it. Not to mention I have a list of things I wouldn't tolerate in a partner long enough to go around the equator (though I'm not being a hypocrite; I fit them all myself.)

I don't even know what to do with this. I don't fit in with the asexuals/aromantics even if I did want to associate with that community, nor do I feel totally honest agreeing with the Christians who assume I'll be a wife/mother someday—and as a 21-year-old, my peers are either getting engaged or seemingly obsessed with the idea of it, so I feel very little commonality with them. I try to just forget it, but it's actually getting bothersome to me having the Schrödinger's cat of sexualities.

*Yes, I know what you're thinking: if it's God's plan, it is who I am... but the operative word is "feel."

 

[PloverWing]

You seem to know yourself pretty well, which is great. You don't want a romantic relationship, you don't want children, and you're content being single.

The only thing that seems to conflict with all this is the word of the visiting pastor. Maybe he misheard God's voice, or maybe he was mistaking his own thoughts for God's. I would go with your own understanding of your own self, and set aside this odd message from a stranger.

 

[HTacianas]

I'll immediately say that I don't really know which category this belongs in, and for that I'm sorry.

So, a bit of background: I'm 21 years old and have never so much as experienced having a crush on someone. As a young child, I just had this gut feeling I'd never fall in love. Now, don't mistake this for a sad story, I was never bothered by it; I can't feel loss for something I simply never had. (I actually think the notion that you need a romantic relationship to feel fulfilled is narrowminded.)
I do not like physical touch, and I find verbally expressing affection very stilted and embarrassing (I'm autistic, and while we aren't all like that, I am). I much prefer to spend quality time with my loved ones... which isn't bad, though it's simply not wife material.
Before I converted to Christianity, I associated with the LGBTQ+ community, since their terms "asexual" and "aromantic" resonated with me. This now doesn't sit that well with me, and I'm trying to pull my oar out of the water in that regard (which is awkward given many of my old friends identify with it somehow, but that's a separate issue), though I still believe those words accurately describe me. I felt justified in my lack of interest given the seventh chapter in 1 Corinthians.

So, everything was fine until I go to church one day, and a visiting pastor tells me (while praying over me for a totally unrelated medical issue that I was struggling to even get a diagnosis for, to make matters more confusing) "God has a husband for you." I didn't even reply for a while; the first thought on my mind was, "There must be a mistake here." He went on to give me the instructions "dream about your wedding" (I guess he knew I had written that off quite early in my life), and "don't look [for a husband]" (good, I wouldn't know where to begin to).

So, I tried to keep an open mind. Maybe I'm straight with taste so specific, not even I know what it is. (It can't technically be disproven unless I just live and die single.) But time goes on, and I just... I don't see it. I'm not interested, no two ways about it. There's nothing I want from any given relationship that I can't find in a family member or friend.
There's also the issue that I've never wanted children, and actually I've had a doctor tell me it'd be a bad idea for me to get pregnant (I have a certain birth defect in my circulatory system.) In addition to the physical detriment it would wreak on my body, I am just a bad fit for motherhood mentally. I have autism as I mentioned (and I mean absolutely no slight against autistic parents, in fact I was raised by a pair) which in my personal case means some pretty bad executive dysfunction, and getting overwhelmed easily. This, plus my dysthymia (or I guess persistent depressive disorder nowadays?), and most importantly the sheer fact that raising children does not interest me in the slightest (I have many other things I want to do in life), makes me a truly terrible candidate for being a parent. I'd lose my mind quickly, I know this about myself—I can hardly babysit without needing a break to be alone so I don't snap. I'm not even an impatient person otherwise; childcare is just a particular weakness I guess.
Anyway, I don't see what the point of me getting married is; it seems obvious to me that I would do way better with a best friend/roommate. It's been 10 or 11 months, and I've had more inner turmoil over this than I'd like to admit. I feel like one of two things will happen: 1. I'll stay single, and therefore be going against God's plan, which obviously I'm not trying to do, or 2. I won't stay single, which is making me feel like I'm being pushed to be someone I'm not.* Yes, yes, there's the chance I'll meet someone who changes my mind and it'll actually go fine... but what are the odds? What Christian guy is looking for some eccentric who doesn't actually want a romantic relationship or a family? I don't know, I'm struggling to see it. Not to mention I have a list of things I wouldn't tolerate in a partner long enough to go around the equator (though I'm not being a hypocrite; I fit them all myself.)

I don't even know what to do with this. I don't fit in with the asexuals/aromantics even if I did want to associate with that community, nor do I feel totally honest agreeing with the Christians who assume I'll be a wife/mother someday—and as a 21-year-old, my peers are either getting engaged or seemingly obsessed with the idea of it, so I feel very little commonality with them. I try to just forget it, but it's actually getting bothersome to me having the Schrödinger's cat of sexualities.

*Yes, I know what you're thinking: if it's God's plan, it is who I am... but the operative word is "feel."

I would be very, very careful about anyone claiming to prophesy most anything at all.

 

[tturt]

"Despise not prophesyings. Prove all things; hold fast that which is good." I Thess 5

To prove all things we need to:
-check it against Scripture (Acts 17:11),
-ask for confirmation (Matt 18:16; Acts 9;9-19 especially v 10-12; II Cor 13:1)
-fasting and praying, (Judges 20:26-27)
-spiritual discernment, (Gal 2:9)
-does it point to Yeshua, (Rev 19:10)
-receive G_dly counsel (Prov 11:14).

 

[Suzanne_L]

I'll immediately say that I don't really know which category this belongs in, and for that I'm sorry.

So, a bit of background: I'm 21 years old and have never so much as experienced having a crush on someone. As a young child, I just had this gut feeling I'd never fall in love. Now, don't mistake this for a sad story, I was never bothered by it; I can't feel loss for something I simply never had. (I actually think the notion that you need a romantic relationship to feel fulfilled is narrowminded.)
I do not like physical touch, and I find verbally expressing affection very stilted and embarrassing (I'm autistic, and while we aren't all like that, I am). I much prefer to spend quality time with my loved ones... which isn't bad, though it's simply not wife material.
Before I converted to Christianity, I associated with the LGBTQ+ community, since their terms "asexual" and "aromantic" resonated with me. This now doesn't sit that well with me, and I'm trying to pull my oar out of the water in that regard (which is awkward given many of my old friends identify with it somehow, but that's a separate issue), though I still believe those words accurately describe me. I felt justified in my lack of interest given the seventh chapter in 1 Corinthians.

So, everything was fine until I go to church one day, and a visiting pastor tells me (while praying over me for a totally unrelated medical issue that I was struggling to even get a diagnosis for, to make matters more confusing) "God has a husband for you." I didn't even reply for a while; the first thought on my mind was, "There must be a mistake here." He went on to give me the instructions "dream about your wedding" (I guess he knew I had written that off quite early in my life), and "don't look [for a husband]" (good, I wouldn't know where to begin to).

So, I tried to keep an open mind. Maybe I'm straight with taste so specific, not even I know what it is. (It can't technically be disproven unless I just live and die single.) But time goes on, and I just... I don't see it. I'm not interested, no two ways about it. There's nothing I want from any given relationship that I can't find in a family member or friend.
There's also the issue that I've never wanted children, and actually I've had a doctor tell me it'd be a bad idea for me to get pregnant (I have a certain birth defect in my circulatory system.) In addition to the physical detriment it would wreak on my body, I am just a bad fit for motherhood mentally. I have autism as I mentioned (and I mean absolutely no slight against autistic parents, in fact I was raised by a pair) which in my personal case means some pretty bad executive dysfunction, and getting overwhelmed easily. This, plus my dysthymia (or I guess persistent depressive disorder nowadays?), and most importantly the sheer fact that raising children does not interest me in the slightest (I have many other things I want to do in life), makes me a truly terrible candidate for being a parent. I'd lose my mind quickly, I know this about myself—I can hardly babysit without needing a break to be alone so I don't snap. I'm not even an impatient person otherwise; childcare is just a particular weakness I guess.
Anyway, I don't see what the point of me getting married is; it seems obvious to me that I would do way better with a best friend/roommate. It's been 10 or 11 months, and I've had more inner turmoil over this than I'd like to admit. I feel like one of two things will happen: 1. I'll stay single, and therefore be going against God's plan, which obviously I'm not trying to do, or 2. I won't stay single, which is making me feel like I'm being pushed to be someone I'm not.* Yes, yes, there's the chance I'll meet someone who changes my mind and it'll actually go fine... but what are the odds? What Christian guy is looking for some eccentric who doesn't actually want a romantic relationship or a family? I don't know, I'm struggling to see it. Not to mention I have a list of things I wouldn't tolerate in a partner long enough to go around the equator (though I'm not being a hypocrite; I fit them all myself.)

I don't even know what to do with this. I don't fit in with the asexuals/aromantics even if I did want to associate with that community, nor do I feel totally honest agreeing with the Christians who assume I'll be a wife/mother someday—and as a 21-year-old, my peers are either getting engaged or seemingly obsessed with the idea of it, so I feel very little commonality with them. I try to just forget it, but it's actually getting bothersome to me having the Schrödinger's cat of sexualities.

*Yes, I know what you're thinking: if it's God's plan, it is who I am... but the operative word is "feel."

I come from a tradition that believes someone can have a prophetic word for someone else, as that person did for you. It's also not uncommon for many women your age to be very focused on getting married and yet feeling discouraged about it. I think it's possible that the person missed this one. Ask God to confirm it one way or another. The fact that right now you aren't interested in marriage or a romantic relationship could mean that person missed it, or it could mean that you will later change. I am assuming you have addressed any hormone issues that may contribute to your lack of interest in romantic relationships? Also, I encourage you to work on healing any wounds from your upbringing via time with God and/or counseling. We all have experienced hurt from our parents and/or peers in our childhood, so we all need this. In addition, many times people can be shut down romantically or have other issues that may resolve as childhood woundings are addressed and processed in a healthy manner. In the meantime, what a blessing not to feel desperate to be married. (That feeling tormented me for years, yet I got Christian advice that I wasn't supposed to "pursue" getting married, I had to just "trust God" and sort of overdid that good advice by accident--in my insecurity, I often avoided even talking with eligible godly men! Not a good way to encourage them to pursue relationships with me.) Back to you...You have plenty of time to develop your career or get more established as an independent adult. Don't let this "Word" be a stumbling block. God will change you at the right time (and probably in advance, He's so gracious and gentle with us) if you are to get married, and if not, you can proceed through life as a happy single!

 

[Anne Onymous]

You seem to know yourself pretty well, which is great. You don't want a romantic relationship, you don't want children, and you're content being single.

The only thing that seems to conflict with all this is the word of the visiting pastor. Maybe he misheard God's voice, or maybe he was mistaking his own thoughts for God's. I would go with your own understanding of your own self, and set aside this odd message from a stranger.

I would be very, very careful about anyone claiming to prophesy most anything at all.

Thank you both. I have been leaning more toward just disregarding what he said; it just really threw me off for a while.

 

[Anne Onymous]

"Despise not prophesyings. Prove all things; hold fast that which is good." I Thess 5

To prove all things we need to:
-check it against Scripture (Acts 17:11),
-ask for confirmation (Matt 18:16; Acts 9;9-19 especially v 10-12; II Cor 13:1)
-fasting and praying, (Judges 20:26-27)
-spiritual discernment, (Gal 2:9)
-does it point to Yeshua, (Rev 19:10)
-receive G_dly counsel (Prov 11:14).

That's fair, thank you. I'll try to get clarification one way or the other... the "will I, won't I" is a bothersome feeling to me.

 

[Anne Onymous]

I come from a tradition that believes someone can have a prophetic word for someone else, as that person did for you. It's also not uncommon for many women your age to be very focused on getting married and yet feeling discouraged about it. I think it's possible that the person missed this one. Ask God to confirm it one way or another. The fact that right now you aren't interested in marriage or a romantic relationship could mean that person missed it, or it could mean that you will later change. I am assuming you have addressed any hormone issues that may contribute to your lack of interest in romantic relationships? Also, I encourage you to work on healing any wounds from your upbringing via time with God and/or counseling. We all have experienced hurt from our parents and/or peers in our childhood, so we all need this. In addition, many times people can be shut down romantically or have other issues that may resolve as childhood woundings are addressed and processed in a healthy manner. In the meantime, what a blessing not to feel desperate to be married. (That feeling tormented me for years, yet I got Christian advice that I wasn't supposed to "pursue" getting married, I had to just "trust God" and sort of overdid that good advice by accident--in my insecurity, I often avoided even talking with eligible godly men! Not a good way to encourage them to pursue relationships with me.) Back to you...You have plenty of time to develop your career or get more established as an independent adult. Don't let this "Word" be a stumbling block. God will change you at the right time (and probably in advance, He's so gracious and gentle with us) if you are to get married, and if not, you can proceed through life as a happy single!

Totally fair advice, thank you.
I have had bloodwork done for unrelated reasons, but nobody's mentioned anything wrong with my hormones (barring my thyroid leaning slightly toward hyperactivity, which explains my appetite, but not this, to the best of my knowledge... though admittedly, I never researched it). In thinking about this as I read your reply, what came to mind was, "Even if I have a problem, I honestly don't care to fix it." I'm trying to do some introspection on that. There are a couple things from my past which I could see perhaps influencing one to be uninterested, but honestly, this strikes me as an anachronism because I've always had a gut feeling I wouldn't be attracted to anyone. Maybe they're contributing factors, but not the cause. Oh well, I'll try to psychoanalyze myself further.
Some things that might be slightly complicating this whole situation are A) the overall stereotype that girls, like, 10+ are "boy crazy" whereas I simply never cared, which from a "purity culture" standpoint (even though I wasn't actually raised that way?) was a good thing; and B) the fact that I now feel especially abnormal in juxtaposition to my Christian peers ("am I actually doing something wrong? Maybe what I heard from that pastor was right... I'm nothing like anyone around me") even though being a misfit in and of itself is not a bother to me—in fact, I'd mentioned being an eccentric in my original post. I'm trying to be mindful of this, as I'm fairly sure that could be how superiority complexes develop, which I obviously I don't want.
But you're right about it being a blessing in the meantime; I'm actually quite glad I haven't had to waste my time and energy on crushes and relationships that will ultimately go nowhere.
Sorry I've kind of talked your ear off... maybe this is a fair sign that I really DO need to talk to someone...
Thank you again!

 

[anetazo]

Hello sister. Marriage will distract you from serving God, read Luke 9:62 and Corinthians chapter 7.

Moses had disability and God used him. As Christian people, we are to witness to the wicked and lost souls, James chapter 6 to document. But don't be par takers of thier sins. Pull out as soon as possible.
I look at jail tv shows, and see many people on the wrong path to sheol. Its really sad. Domestic violence or alcohol abuse or stolen credit cards. One dude has been in and out the system his whole life and doesn't care.
Those walking in darkness are headed for hell.
Hud is program for low income people. You can find apartments that have this and apply. Having a doctor is good idea.

 

[com7fy8]

We grow in Jesus. And then we discover what He wants to do with us.

So, now you do not know how you will become and what God will satisfy you to do once He has you ready. It will be better than whatever you can wish now . . . and better than whatever you now might say you don't want!

I mean . . . in case He does want marriage for you, it will be His way, therefore very good and more and more perfectly satisfying . . . not how you now are able to see it because of how your personality is now.

Among other things, you now can feed on that depression stuff. As you trust and grow in Jesus, He will develop you in how His love has you seeing things, with help of His word and people who are good examples for you to get to know.

We are God's children. A three year old child has no clue about who he or she will be after becoming an adult.

We see what pathetic stuff people are doing now . . . even encouraging little kids to make choices that could permanently affect what they will be able to do as adults!

You are God's child; so beware of making commitments now for what you will do when you have grown and matured much more.

Enjoy discovering.

 

[trophy33]

A travelling preacher in a charismatic church told to me and to my girlfriend many years ago that we will get married. We did not, we broke up and she is already married to somebody else, with children etc.

Travelling preachers, IMO, have an inclination to say various similar predictions. Do not worry about that.

 

[SavedByGrace3]

Having been in the charismatic and prophetic for over 50 years... do not put much much stock in "personal prophecies" unless:
The preacher is an established prophet with a history of success.
The prophecy serves only to confirm an inward witness that you already have.
I was a victim of "personal prophecy" early my walk. Did damage to me.

 

[Anne Onymous]

Hello sister. Marriage will distract you from serving God, read Luke 9:62 and Corinthians chapter 7.

Moses had disability and God used him. As Christian people, we are to witness to the wicked and lost souls, James chapter 6 to document. But don't be par takers of thier sins. Pull out as soon as possible.
I look at jail tv shows, and see many people on the wrong path to sheol. Its really sad. Domestic violence or alcohol abuse or stolen credit cards. One dude has been in and out the system his whole life and doesn't care.
Those walking in darkness are headed for hell.
Hud is program for low income people. You can find apartments that have this and apply. Having a doctor is good idea.

Yeah, I've seen similar shows, and it's certainly not the path I want to go down. And I agree disabled ≠ useless. I do have a doctor, and am on a disability pension. I might in fact end up looking into such apartments...

 

[Anne Onymous]

We grow in Jesus. And then we discover what He wants to do with us.

So, now you do not know how you will become and what God will satisfy you to do once He has you ready. It will be better than whatever you can wish now . . . and better than whatever you now might say you don't want!

I mean . . . in case He does want marriage for you, it will be His way, therefore very good and more and more perfectly satisfying . . . not how you now are able to see it because of how your personality is now.

Among other things, you now can feed on that depression stuff. As you trust and grow in Jesus, He will develop you in how His love has you seeing things, with help of His word and people who are good examples for you to get to know.

We are God's children. A three year old child has no clue about who he or she will be after becoming an adult.

We see what pathetic stuff people are doing now . . . even encouraging little kids to make choices that could permanently affect what they will be able to do as adults!

You are God's child; so beware of making commitments now for what you will do when you have grown and matured much more.

Enjoy discovering.

Yeah, true enough. I'm aware that everything might change and actually work out better than I ever would've thought, it's just hard to see. I mean, the "dream about your wedding" instruction I got barely even works... I don't know who I'd end up with. Can't pick a menu without knowing him (his culture? allergies or dietary restrictions? palate?) can't pick a venue without knowing him (what continent does this guy even live on?) etc. I got tired of making all [my] nowhere plans for nobody, to quote the song currently in my head, and gave up quickly. It's just too abstract, which is a real bother to me. But you're right; I should just trust God and let the rest fall into place, however that may be.
And yes, I'm definitely the type who is very slow to commit to things; I like to be pretty thorough in my decision-making.

 

[Anne Onymous]

A travelling preacher in a charismatic church told to me and to my girlfriend many years ago that we will get married. We did not, we broke up and she is already married to somebody else, with children etc.

Travelling preachers, IMO, have an inclination to say various similar predictions. Do not worry about that.

Fair enough, thank you. I suppose it's a basic/vague enough statement that it appears to work a lot of the time.

 

[Anne Onymous]

Having been in the charismatic and prophetic for over 50 years... do not put much much stock in "personal prophecies" unless:
The preacher is an established prophet with a history of success.
The prophecy serves only to confirm an inward witness that you already have.
I was a victim of "personal prophecy" early my walk. Did damage to me.

That's fair, thank you. And yeah, I think it would absolutely be a detriment to me to agree to a relationship that I don't actually want; honestly, neither party would be happy with that.

 

[com7fy8]

Well, there are people who had no clue they would get married, or that they could. It seems there are healthy social professional Christians who have married even severely disabled people and they are very satisfied because of how God makes it for them. They would not have it any other way. One guy got blown up at a gas oven, lost flesh and skin and sight, looked obviously disfigured, then met and married a healthy beautiful lady of Jesus. And there's the guy with no limbs who can take himself swimming in a pool, is an international minister, and he's married with at least one child, I think. And God can bless couples like this so they wouldn't have it any other way.

"My strength is made perfect in weakness," Jesus says in 2 Corinthians 12:9.

And there are people disabled by a bad temper; yet, there can be people who have married ill-tempered people and then they have done well, overcoming that problem and becoming God's way. But be careful about marrying someone who is spiritually wrong. I am talking about Christians who have sin problems but are growing in Jesus so they get more and more of our Father's correction > Hebrews 12:4-14.

If you invest in how God's word says to love and relate with Christians and enemies, this can help prepare you for marriage or being single. Whatever God really wants for you, this will mean how He has you doing it with Him in His love.

Feed on Philippians 2:13-16. This can help you prepare for Jesus and for how He plans to share with you here.

 

[Lybrah]

I'll immediately say that I don't really know which category this belongs in, and for that I'm sorry.

So, a bit of background: I'm 21 years old and have never so much as experienced having a crush on someone. As a young child, I just had this gut feeling I'd never fall in love. Now, don't mistake this for a sad story, I was never bothered by it; I can't feel loss for something I simply never had. (I actually think the notion that you need a romantic relationship to feel fulfilled is narrowminded.)
I do not like physical touch, and I find verbally expressing affection very stilted and embarrassing (I'm autistic, and while we aren't all like that, I am). I much prefer to spend quality time with my loved ones... which isn't bad, though it's simply not wife material.
Before I converted to Christianity, I associated with the LGBTQ+ community, since their terms "asexual" and "aromantic" resonated with me. This now doesn't sit that well with me, and I'm trying to pull my oar out of the water in that regard (which is awkward given many of my old friends identify with it somehow, but that's a separate issue), though I still believe those words accurately describe me. I felt justified in my lack of interest given the seventh chapter in 1 Corinthians.

So, everything was fine until I go to church one day, and a visiting pastor tells me (while praying over me for a totally unrelated medical issue that I was struggling to even get a diagnosis for, to make matters more confusing) "God has a husband for you." I didn't even reply for a while; the first thought on my mind was, "There must be a mistake here." He went on to give me the instructions "dream about your wedding" (I guess he knew I had written that off quite early in my life), and "don't look [for a husband]" (good, I wouldn't know where to begin to).

So, I tried to keep an open mind. Maybe I'm straight with taste so specific, not even I know what it is. (It can't technically be disproven unless I just live and die single.) But time goes on, and I just... I don't see it. I'm not interested, no two ways about it. There's nothing I want from any given relationship that I can't find in a family member or friend.
There's also the issue that I've never wanted children, and actually I've had a doctor tell me it'd be a bad idea for me to get pregnant (I have a certain birth defect in my circulatory system.) In addition to the physical detriment it would wreak on my body, I am just a bad fit for motherhood mentally. I have autism as I mentioned (and I mean absolutely no slight against autistic parents, in fact I was raised by a pair) which in my personal case means some pretty bad executive dysfunction, and getting overwhelmed easily. This, plus my dysthymia (or I guess persistent depressive disorder nowadays?), and most importantly the sheer fact that raising children does not interest me in the slightest (I have many other things I want to do in life), makes me a truly terrible candidate for being a parent. I'd lose my mind quickly, I know this about myself—I can hardly babysit without needing a break to be alone so I don't snap. I'm not even an impatient person otherwise; childcare is just a particular weakness I guess.
Anyway, I don't see what the point of me getting married is; it seems obvious to me that I would do way better with a best friend/roommate. It's been 10 or 11 months, and I've had more inner turmoil over this than I'd like to admit. I feel like one of two things will happen: 1. I'll stay single, and therefore be going against God's plan, which obviously I'm not trying to do, or 2. I won't stay single, which is making me feel like I'm being pushed to be someone I'm not.* Yes, yes, there's the chance I'll meet someone who changes my mind and it'll actually go fine... but what are the odds? What Christian guy is looking for some eccentric who doesn't actually want a romantic relationship or a family? I don't know, I'm struggling to see it. Not to mention I have a list of things I wouldn't tolerate in a partner long enough to go around the equator (though I'm not being a hypocrite; I fit them all myself.)

I don't even know what to do with this. I don't fit in with the asexuals/aromantics even if I did want to associate with that community, nor do I feel totally honest agreeing with the Christians who assume I'll be a wife/mother someday—and as a 21-year-old, my peers are either getting engaged or seemingly obsessed with the idea of it, so I feel very little commonality with them. I try to just forget it, but it's actually getting bothersome to me having the Schrödinger's cat of sexualities.

*Yes, I know what you're thinking: if it's God's plan, it is who I am... but the operative word is "feel."

You know how many people have something similar to me about having a husband? I’ve heard, God will send him when the time is right” and all that, and I’m still single and now old. So just because the priest told you that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. Of course, if it did come from God then you would change your mind because God can change a person’s heart and do anything. However, I do not know this priest and for all we know he could say that to a lot of single people.

 

[Anne Onymous]

Well, there are people who had no clue they would get married, or that they could. It seems there are healthy social professional Christians who have married even severely disabled people and they are very satisfied because of how God makes it for them. They would not have it any other way. One guy got blown up at a gas oven, lost flesh and skin and sight, looked obviously disfigured, then met and married a healthy beautiful lady of Jesus. And there's the guy with no limbs who can take himself swimming in a pool, is an international minister, and he's married with at least one child, I think. And God can bless couples like this so they wouldn't have it any other way.

"My strength is made perfect in weakness," Jesus says in 2 Corinthians 12:9.

And there are people disabled by a bad temper; yet, there can be people who have married ill-tempered people and then they have done well, overcoming that problem and becoming God's way. But be careful about marrying someone who is spiritually wrong. I am talking about Christians who have sin problems but are growing in Jesus so they get more and more of our Father's correction > Hebrews 12:4-14.

If you invest in how God's word says to love and relate with Christians and enemies, this can help prepare you for marriage or being single. Whatever God really wants for you, this will mean how He has you doing it with Him in His love.

Feed on Philippians 2:13-16. This can help you prepare for Jesus and for how He plans to share with you here.

Yeah, fair enough... I do realize that disabled ≠ unmarriable; I just really struggle to see it in my particular case.
And I agree, I wouldn't bother with someone spiritually wrong, that'd just be creating problems, frankly.

But you're right with that last part too—and I am definitely not a hateful person; I just love people in different ways (platonic, familial, etc.) The essence of love (in whatever form) is the important part, in my opinion.

 

[Anne Onymous]

You know how many people have something similar to me about having a husband? I’ve heard, God will send him when the time is right” and all that, and I’m still single and now old. So just because the priest told you that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. Of course, if it did come from God then you would change your mind because God can change a person’s heart and do anything. However, I do not know this priest and for all we know he could say that to a lot of single people.

You know, that's pretty much the conclusion I'm coming to myself: if it were really true, would I not be experiencing some shift in attitude? My lifelong general apathy toward the whole notion is telling, in my opinion. When I heard that pastor speak, I felt as though someone told me they were making me dinner, but I'm simply not hungry and I don't even eat the ingredients they're using—like, thanks but no thanks.
I'm coming up on a year since I heard that—and yeah, while I'm aware I can't rightly put a timeframe on God's plan—I do think that enough time of nothing indicating this plan is going forward has elapsed to indicate that it is, well, not.
I'm inclined to believe God wouldn't tell me something that would cause such confusion/frustration for 11 months with no end in sight; that seems... counterintuitive.