Meaning of "Sexual Immorality" in Scripture?

[namone]

So, I am personally in a position of great trial. I have a long-term girlfriend whom I love dearly, and she loves me dearly. We are very close. However, we are both strong Christians and I, personally, being the man of the relationship believe I need to be a strong leader and lead us into a strong relationship, together, with the Father.

Here is my problem... we are both (especially me, being a male) struggling greatly with sexual desire. She's in school and I work full time, and we just... it would be wise to wait a couple years before marriage is a realistic option for us.

We want to touch (sexually).. not have sex.. but touch. So, we turned to Scripture to see what it had to say on the matter and we found, well, nothing. Paul speaks of 'sexual immorality' but there seems to be hazy definition on whether this means pre-marital sex or rather homosexuality, beastiality, etc.

With a hazy definition from Scripture, my girlfriend and I both separately turned to prayer to seek out the answer from the Spirit.

We both attempted to put aside our fleshly bias, and I, personally, was fully prepared to be convicted to stop. But... I rather felt a peace about it (so did my girlfriend)? I assume my flesh is deceiving me? Or is God really 'ok' with it, as I was impressed during prayer. I do know how crafty the Enemy can be.

I am only 20, and my girlfriend is 21. We need advice.

Thanks!

 

[ByTheSpirit]

The problem is this:

Scriptures may not say touching is bad (I don't think it specifically addresses that issue) but it does say abstain from every form of evil. Sexual immorality = evil.

Touching is inviting great sin to come in and cause issues. It is like going to the lake on a hot summer day and saying I am only going to dip my toe in the water. Before you know it that water feels good and it is time to jump in head first.

If the temptation is too great, get counseling from your pastor. Occupy your time with activities, the old saying "Satans crimes are idle hands" fits here.

If all else and you two are set on getting married eventually, then get married now. If you truly love each other that should be no problem. My wife and I got married at your age and now we have been married for 12 years

Best of luck

 

[Raphael Jauregui]

It is difficult to answer the poll because it depends on the context, circumstances, and relationship. Obviously, the first and foremost most important thing is whether consent is involved. Consent requires the people be of an adult age that can give consent. So, for me, it is always important to say that we are talking about consensual relationships.

In my view, sexual immorality is definitely a problem, a sin, and it is in Scripture. However, Scripture mainly deals with sexual immorality as the violation of consent and the devaluing of other people. Scripture does not, at least in my view and experience of reading, condemn this kind of intimacy within faithful and committed relationships. If the relationship is committed and dedicated, then I do not think erotic intimacy is necessarily a sin. There are many people who cannot marry for social/legal reasons including insurance, welfare, a job, or housing. So, instead, they may mark their commitment in a civil union or domestic partnership.

Ultimately though, I cannot promote to you any option because a forum like this is mainly theoretical. This is something that is best discussed with a pastor whom you trust and in whom you can confide confessionally.

 

[namone]

The problem is this:

Scriptures may not say touching is bad (I don't think it specifically addresses that issue) but it does say abstain from every form of evil. Sexual immorality = evil.

Touching is inviting great sin to come in and cause issues. It is like going to the lake on a hot summer day and saying I am only going to dip my toe in the water. Before you know it that water feels good and it is time to jump in head first.

If the temptation is too great, get counseling from your pastor. Occupy your time with activities, the old saying "Satans crimes are idle hands" fits here.

If all else and you two are set on getting married eventually, then get married now. If you truly love each other that should be no problem. My wife and I got married at your age and now we have been married for 12 years

Best of luck

Very good points. I often find myself fighting against my flesh - desiring the things said in Scripture were not said. Which I find myself ashamed of thinking. It often leads me into a deeper love for what Jesus has declared good, when I see how quickly a wicked path can take a person.

Somewhat off the original topic, why when my girlfriend and I both prayed did we feel peace on the matter? Could it be because we are 'made' for each other, and so God see us as 'what He has brought together' (not to say we shouldn't get married before being sexually active)? I know this question is highly subjective - but our 'conviction' from our prayers has confused me greatly.

 

[namone]

It is difficult to answer the poll because it depends on the context, circumstances, and relationship. Obviously, the first and foremost most important thing is whether consent is involved. Consent requires the people be of an adult age that can give consent. So, for me, it is always important to say that we are talking about consensual relationships.

In my view, sexual immorality is definitely a problem, a sin, and it is in Scripture. However, Scripture mainly deals with sexual immorality as the violation of consent and the devaluing of other people. Scripture does not, at least in my view and experience of reading, condemn this kind of intimacy within faithful and committed relationships. If the relationship is committed and dedicated, then I do not think erotic intimacy is necessarily a sin. There are many people who cannot marry for social/legal reasons including insurance, welfare, a job, or housing. So, instead, they may mark their commitment in a civil union or domestic partnership.

Ultimately though, I cannot promote to you any option because a forum like this is mainly theoretical. This is something that is best discussed with a pastor whom you trust and in whom you can confide confessionally.

I see what you are saying... it brings back the "two greatest commandments": Love God and Love Your Neighbor.

If I am sexually active within a consensual and loving relationship outside of marriage I may be loving my neighbor - but am I loving God? I suppose it depends if He condemns such actions.

 

[ByTheSpirit]

Very good points. I often find myself fighting against my flesh - desiring the things said in Scripture were not said. Which I find myself ashamed of thinking. It often leads me into a deeper love for what Jesus has declared good, when I see how quickly a wicked path can take a person.

Somewhat off the original topic, why when my girlfriend and I both prayed did we feel peace on the matter? Could it be because we are 'made' for each other, and so God see us as 'what He has brought together' (not to say we shouldn't get married before being sexually active)? I know this question is highly subjective - but our 'conviction' from our prayers has confused me greatly.

I can tell you this, the longer you save yourself for marriage the more blessed it will be when you finally consummate your vows. Not that you need wait years to do so, but the wait for marriage is worth it. Prayer together is by far the best thing you two can do.

I know it is hard, I do. Be strong in God's grace and love!

 

[namone]

I can tell you this, the longer you save yourself for marriage the more blessed it will be when you finally consummate your vows. Not that you need wait years to do so, but the wait for marriage is worth it. Prayer together is by far the best thing you two can do.

I know it is hard, I do. Be strong in God's grace and love!

Thank you for your advice

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

Well I'll be blunt. By touching do you mean touching genitals or breasts? And by that do you mean maybe pleasuring each other? Because both are technically sex. Now kissing on the lips is not sex. Holding her by the waist when you dance is not sex. Though both can lead to the road of sexual things. If you want to avoid sex then I would not touch in sexual ways. I'd even say do not kiss or hold hands. More so if alone with each other. Trust me, its how I lost my virginity.

Also if you decide to marry in the future do not do so if its because you want to be sexual. Marriage is more then just sex and people who marry for just sex tend to separate because sex alone will not help your marriage or get you past the issues you face together.

 

[namone]

Anyone else have opinions?

 

[Kit Sigmon]

1 Corinthians 7:1
“Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman."

Strong's Greek: 680. ἅπτομαι (haptomai) -- touch.

Strong's Concordance
haptomai: touch.
Original Word: ἅπτομαι
Part of Speech: Verb
Transliteration: haptomai
Phonetic Spelling: (hap'-tom-ahee)
Short Definition: I touch or handle
Definition: prop: I fasten to; I lay hold of, touch, know carnally.

680 háptomai (from 681 /háptō, "to modify or change by touching") – properly, "touching that influences" (modifies); touching someone (something) in a way that alters (changes, modifies) them, i.e. "impact-touching."

 

[Sunroad]

Hi Namone

I was 19 when I met my then, husband to be, now my husband. We sadly did not stay sexually pure, not understanding the beauty and significance of sexual intimacy and marriage. It is wonderful to see you guys committed to stay away from intimacy until marriage <3.

There is something so profound and beautiful about sex and marriage the way God intended it, and that often gets sullied and warped by the rest of the world, and seeing as we live in the world it can influence how we view sex too.

Here are my thoughts so far on this matter, what I've heard and agree with, and also what I feel God has revealed to my heart about this topic:

I believe that when husband and wife are joined together in marriage they are joined in spirit as well. I have a friend couple who stayed away from each other sexually till marriage. You would not believe how in sync they are. They think and move like a cohesive unit in a manner that I believe is deeply spiritual. They've made it clear that above all else Christ takes first place in their lives and he is at the center of their marriage.

If you guys are having a hard time, perhaps sit down together and pray together for God to reveal to you the real meaning of intimacy in marriage and ask that Jesus would take center stage for you guys now and in the future when you do get married. <3

if you are interested, I've added some links that might explain a bit better than I can hope this helps <3 God bless you both! you are so precious to him!

 

[longwait]

I have seen a video where the preacher said that if your mind is set on something then you will believe for certain that that is God's will. Your mind is playing tricks on you. The Bible says that even if you look at a girl lustfully then it is considered as having already committed adultery with her. Isn't touching is much worse than lustful look? Keep away from all unholiness and save it for marriage.

 

[Sketcher]

The NT term for sexual immorality is broad in scope: Porneia - New Testament Greek Lexicon - New American Standard

More practically, do you really think that you two, if you decide to touch each other sexually, will realistically be able to limit it to just touching and no further, for two years?

 

[WilliamBo]

So, I am personally in a position of great trial. I have a long-term girlfriend whom I love dearly, and she loves me dearly. We are very close. However, we are both strong Christians and I, personally, being the man of the relationship believe I need to be a strong leader and lead us into a strong relationship, together, with the Father.

Here is my problem... we are both (especially me, being a male) struggling greatly with sexual desire. She's in school and I work full time, and we just... it would be wise to wait a couple years before marriage is a realistic option for us.

We want to touch (sexually).. not have sex.. but touch. So, we turned to Scripture to see what it had to say on the matter and we found, well, nothing. Paul speaks of 'sexual immorality' but there seems to be hazy definition on whether this means pre-marital sex or rather homosexuality, beastiality, etc.

With a hazy definition from Scripture, my girlfriend and I both separately turned to prayer to seek out the answer from the Spirit.

We both attempted to put aside our fleshly bias, and I, personally, was fully prepared to be convicted to stop. But... I rather felt a peace about it (so did my girlfriend)? I assume my flesh is deceiving me? Or is God really 'ok' with it, as I was impressed during prayer. I do know how crafty the Enemy can be.

I am only 20, and my girlfriend is 21. We need advice.

Thanks!

God gave us sexual urges for a reason. However if you look in the book of Revelation, the number 1 reason for people perishing and going to hell is fornicating [sexual immorality]... i forget the chapter but there is a list somewhere of all the sins that people are judged for and the first ones are forms of sexual immorality.

Yes, anything outside of sex or sexual touching in marriage is sin. If you can't see this then you need to learn more about God. Jesus said if you even lust after a woman in your mind then it is sexual immorality. Paul said to FLEE sexual immorality more than any other sin. I commend you for knowing about Jesus at such a young age, I didn't know about God until I was 23-24.

But yes you must crucify this- real love is not from a woman, real love is from God and we must be in right relationship with God before we pursue a spouse or you will not be able to truly love your woman [spiritually and emotionally] like we are designed to do as men. I'm telling you, there is no positive end to sexual immorality... it just leads to hurt and heart ache.