- Feb 5, 2002
- 172,222
- 59,862
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Catholic
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Others
Seems there is a big trend on Tik Tok about marrying rich.
One, Dixie D’Amelio, a 22-year-old influencer with a 57 million strong fanbase, went viral for a video in which she complains about having to work and decides she is going to ‘marry rich’ instead. She is not the only one. The hashtag How To Marry Rich has 3.9 million views on the platform and an entire online industry loudly promising to help aspirants do exactly that.
I am not naive. Dixie and her ilk are not the first with plans to marry for money. But the advice was once whispered about discreetly. That civility is lost in today’s subtitled TikTok videos.
But it’s not just that they’re indiscreet. They are also plain wrong. Marrying for money alone simply doesn’t guarantee happiness, and I should know because I live my life among women who have done it.
**********************************
I was completely disarmed when — on a night out together — she congratulated the manager at a smart restaurant in Piccadilly for its success, saying: ‘The past five years have been good. I have gone from waiting at these tables to eating at them and you have added another [Michelin] star.’
No one present thought anything less of the woman. Indeed, we laughed along with her, happy for her good fortune. Her lack of pretence showed she had the one thing money cannot buy: authenticity. It was clear to everyone at the table that night that she married for love, not cash.
When you do get something wrong, which all of us do regardless of whether we went to finishing school or failed to finish A-levels, how you handle the situation is most telling.
It’s often thought that posh people are obsessed with status and who they let in or keep out of their tribe. But this isn’t true either. They do not lay tripwires across their estates, lying in wait for the next person to pronounce the ‘g’ in Magdalene.
Kindness or good manners prevent most people from making a point of another’s real or imagined shortcomings. And good manners, like almost everything else in life, come easily to those with healthy self-esteem. A chip on the shoulder, rather than an improper accent, is the undoing of so many in this world.
So, my advice for those TikTokkers who cannot be put off the pursuit of a rich man is to focus on bolstering their self-esteem. Without it, young women can feel threatened or exposed and turn defensive.
I’ve heard them lash out with passive-aggressive comments of the ‘I could never wear that, but it is lovely on you’ variety. Others go all-out nuclear. They put down a person or a place because they fear their lack of knowledge will expose their humble beginnings.
‘I cannot believe you are going to the Maldives for Christmas again,’ is one I heard most recently. Perhaps they feel being condescending goes with the territory of being wealthy. It doesn’t. It’s a hackneyed and inaccurate prejudice about how wealthy people behave. This approach is tiresome and also guaranteed to alienate the very people whose approval an aspirant craves.
Ultra-high net-worth individuals do not cultivate friends — or romantic partners — because of their perceived usefulness to them either.
They’re not looking for a prospective wife who speaks Mandarin or plays professional tennis. When they want to make a connection for work, they have business networks on hand to help. When they want an invitation, whether it is to a private island or on a trip to space, they reach out to their concierge.
To read in full:
One, Dixie D’Amelio, a 22-year-old influencer with a 57 million strong fanbase, went viral for a video in which she complains about having to work and decides she is going to ‘marry rich’ instead. She is not the only one. The hashtag How To Marry Rich has 3.9 million views on the platform and an entire online industry loudly promising to help aspirants do exactly that.
I am not naive. Dixie and her ilk are not the first with plans to marry for money. But the advice was once whispered about discreetly. That civility is lost in today’s subtitled TikTok videos.
But it’s not just that they’re indiscreet. They are also plain wrong. Marrying for money alone simply doesn’t guarantee happiness, and I should know because I live my life among women who have done it.
**********************************
I was completely disarmed when — on a night out together — she congratulated the manager at a smart restaurant in Piccadilly for its success, saying: ‘The past five years have been good. I have gone from waiting at these tables to eating at them and you have added another [Michelin] star.’
No one present thought anything less of the woman. Indeed, we laughed along with her, happy for her good fortune. Her lack of pretence showed she had the one thing money cannot buy: authenticity. It was clear to everyone at the table that night that she married for love, not cash.
When you do get something wrong, which all of us do regardless of whether we went to finishing school or failed to finish A-levels, how you handle the situation is most telling.
It’s often thought that posh people are obsessed with status and who they let in or keep out of their tribe. But this isn’t true either. They do not lay tripwires across their estates, lying in wait for the next person to pronounce the ‘g’ in Magdalene.
Kindness or good manners prevent most people from making a point of another’s real or imagined shortcomings. And good manners, like almost everything else in life, come easily to those with healthy self-esteem. A chip on the shoulder, rather than an improper accent, is the undoing of so many in this world.
So, my advice for those TikTokkers who cannot be put off the pursuit of a rich man is to focus on bolstering their self-esteem. Without it, young women can feel threatened or exposed and turn defensive.
I’ve heard them lash out with passive-aggressive comments of the ‘I could never wear that, but it is lovely on you’ variety. Others go all-out nuclear. They put down a person or a place because they fear their lack of knowledge will expose their humble beginnings.
‘I cannot believe you are going to the Maldives for Christmas again,’ is one I heard most recently. Perhaps they feel being condescending goes with the territory of being wealthy. It doesn’t. It’s a hackneyed and inaccurate prejudice about how wealthy people behave. This approach is tiresome and also guaranteed to alienate the very people whose approval an aspirant craves.
Ultra-high net-worth individuals do not cultivate friends — or romantic partners — because of their perceived usefulness to them either.
They’re not looking for a prospective wife who speaks Mandarin or plays professional tennis. When they want to make a connection for work, they have business networks on hand to help. When they want an invitation, whether it is to a private island or on a trip to space, they reach out to their concierge.
To read in full:
Why you should never set out ot marry a rich man
Marrying for money alone simply doesn't guarantee happiness, and I should know because I live my life among women who have done it, writes Shruti Advani.
www.dailymail.co.uk