Marriage under God and not by Law/State, possible or impossible?

[AgileFeet]

I've always wondered what the "true" meaning of marriage was, and for me marriage is a covenant between you, God, and your spouse, being that I'm a believer in Christ. I also feel that true marriage has nothing to do with signing a marriage license nor having a ceremony. The first official marriage in time was in the garden of Eden between Adam and Eve and made official by God. So here are some questions that I have came up with that I would liked answered but also backed up by scripture if at all possible. Also what if you plan on getting married by law, just not right away, but considered only married under God?

1. Is there any such thing as being married under God?

2. What is considered married in God's eyes or what are the requirements that need to be fulfilled to be married under God?

3. Which is considered a legitimate marriage to God, a marriage under God or a marriage only by law/state?

4. If married by law and it's not stated under God (meaning the ceremony that was held did not involve God in the marriage) is it really a marriage and is it considered a true marriage to God?

5. If married under God (meaning the marriage officiant states God) but the couple doesn't believe in God (possibly due to being Atheist) is it a true marriage to God?

6. Can you be married under God only and not by law?

7. If married under God and not by law, is it legitimate to God?

I know that a lot of these questions seem like a repeat, but I was trying to make sure that I stated it in different ways, being that one person might say it can be this way but not in another way.

Please give biblical backing to these questions, if all possible.

Thank you.

 

[IisJustMe]

If what you mean by "married under God" is just making a commitment to one another, with or without witnesses, with or without friends and family around, then no, that's not "married." First, the state will not recognize you as married, which, though it may not be important to you, results in a huge issues when it comes to filing taxes, getting health insurance coverage, or any insurance coverage for that matter, public endorsement of financial decisions, etc.

More importantly, are you married in the eyes of God? Let me ask you this: If baptism is supposed to be public, why wouldn't a marriage? God wants celebrations of the changes in our life when we are undertaking those changes in His name. So no, "married under God" as you appear to be defining it isn't marriage. By anyone's standards.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Yep, when I was with a woman before (I cannot go into detail on here), we wondered about marrying under Gods law. Essentially just saying we were married because the law wouldn't let us marry.

But in the end God says to obey mans law. So even if we married, the state would not recognize it which means in God eyes we weren't married.

 

[Hospes]

It does not make a lot of sense that someone would agree to pursue the incredibly high calling of God to marriage and yet balk at the minimal requirements of the state.

So why do you ask?

 

[seeingeyes]

Marriage existed before the state did. I don't need a marriage certificate to be a wife any more than I need a birth certificate to be a mother.

That being said, Paul exercised his rights/privileges as a Roman citizen, and I exercise my rights/privileges as a married citizen in the U.S. and therefore, the world. All of those legal rights/privileges come in the form of paperwork, so, yes, the paperwork is necessary.

God bless

 

[seeingeyes]

By the way, why do you want to put off getting married, if I may ask?

 

[Avniel]

I have a marriage license but I think it's just nonsense. Weddings are becoming more and more a lucrative business and uncle Sam wants his cut, that's all. Unless your state has blood tests requirements it's really pointless.

It's even unconstitutional there is a separation of church and state.

 

[seeingeyes]

I have a marriage license but I think it's just nonsense. Weddings are becoming more and more a lucrative business and uncle Sam wants his cut, that's all. Unless your state has blood tests requirements it's really pointless.

It's even unconstitutional there is a separation of church and state.

There was marriage before there was a state, and marriage before there was a church, too. Or any religion at all for that matter.

 

[IisJustMe]

I have a marriage license but I think it's just nonsense. Weddings are becoming more and more a lucrative business and uncle Sam wants his cut, that's all. Unless your state has blood tests requirements it's really pointless.

Anyone can have a wedding without spending half of the woman's parents' fortune. What you're endorsing is "shacking up" and I defy you to show me where that is allowed under God's word.

It's even unconstitutional there is a separation of church and state.

I'm not sure what this has to do with a biblical marriage. For a marriage to be valid in the eyes of the state, it must by "licensed", which is nothing more than a method by which it is recorded for all entities who need to know it is official. Those who have said we are to obey man's laws are correct, as we have been put under the authority of the government.

There was marriage before there was a state, and marriage before there was a church, too. Or any religion at all for that matter.

Regardless, there is "marriage" now as defined by the governments that have authority over us, so to ignore those laws is to disobey God.

 

[seeingeyes]

Those who have said we are to obey man's laws are correct, as we have been put under the authority of the government.Regardless, there is "marriage" now as defined by the governments that have authority over us, so to ignore those laws is to disobey God.

U.S. law doesn't forbid anyone from saying that they are 'married in God's eyes' or even from just 'shacking up'. So it's not, in fact, ignoring the law to do either one. However, if you want to reap the state-offered benefits of marriage, you have to sow the paperwork.

 

[jpcedotal]

hmmmmm....I like the marriage by law to Baptism comparison....I think that pretty much nails it on the head.

Can one be Baptized and not be saved...absolutely
Can one be married by the state but not be married in God's eyes...absolutely.

 

[Avniel]

Anyone can have a wedding without spending half of the woman's parents' fortune. What you're endorsing is "shacking up" and I defy you to show me where that is allowed under God's word.

I am not endorsing anything like that and truthfully I am a tad bit offended that you would even suggest this. What I am saying is that the government has no constitutional right to charge people a fee to get married. As I said "getting married" has become a lucrative business for a lot of people. Do deny that people get paid to have a wedding. It's almost like you missed the entire point of my post. I didn't say you have to spend 30k 40k, we had a cheap wedding and spent 17k on a wedding and that is considered cheap where I am from. 17k wedding in new york city is unheard of.

My point wasn't that marriage is expensive. That wasn't my point at all.

I'm not sure what this has to do with a biblical marriage. For a marriage to be valid in the eyes of the state, it must by "licensed", which is nothing more than a method by which it is recorded for all entities who need to know it is official.

No incorrect, the government is a business. Majority of the laws make sense to the people however it benifits the government alot more then people understand. An example is the war on drugs. Drugs are bad people shouldn't take drugs so the government says "hey lets have a war on drugs we can make money." Most people don't understand that the drug trade is controlled by the president. When president bush was in office drugs where cheap and they were few "droughts" and very big busts of several rings. With Obama the drug dealers wouldn't vote for him again he closed a lot of the boarders only allowing min drug amounts to come through.

Those who have said we are to obey man's laws are correct, as we have been put under the authority of the government.Regardless, there is "marriage" now as defined by the governments that have authority over us, so to ignore those laws is to disobey God.

I don't even see where I said to disobey God???? I don't see where I said to do anything like that. As I said I got married according to the government that doesn't mean that the government is acting justly. The fact is the government is evil, they do not care about the people and most of the actions are done for reasons that most american people couldn't even imagine.

The government says you need xyz to be married, I got xyz. That doesn't mean I am so ignorant that I don't know why I paid the money. And I am not naive enough to not understand that its all about money.

 

[Avniel]

hmmmmm....I like the marriage by law to Baptism comparison....I think that pretty much nails it on the head.

Can one be Baptized and not be saved...absolutely
Can one be married by the state but not be married in God's eyes...absolutely.

I think the only marriage that is not recognized by God is adultry. If someone divorcees their spouse for reasons other then cheating and then get remmarried I feel like that is a legal marrage however there are still spiritual ties attached to their spouse.

I think a lot of christians are fearful of this idea because they don't want to feel like their marriage or someone they knows marriage isn't blessed by God. That's why they have such a strong tie to the government marriage and the government laws reguarding marriage. They don't understand that we are to obey the law but the law of God trumps the government law.

 

[Albion]

1. Is there any such thing as being married under God?

I don't think so. To avoid being married--as society recognizes a marriage--is tantamount to denying that you are married.

3. Which is considered a legitimate marriage to God, a marriage under God or a marriage only by law/state?

There is no such thing as a marriage only by law/state. These are recognized by God as marriages.

4. If married by law and it's not stated under God (meaning the ceremony that was held did not involve God in the marriage) is it really a marriage and is it considered a true marriage to God?

Absolutely. You cannot join the Catholic Church, for example, and say that your wife of twenty years is no longer your wife because it was done in front of a magistrate. You're not going to be considered a single person!

If married under God (meaning the marriage officiant states God) but the couple doesn't believe in God (possibly due to being Atheist) is it a true marriage to God?

Yes.

6. Can you be married under God only and not by law?

Doubtful, although there might be some exceptional circumstances like you're the last two people alive after a nuclear attack. Got any circumstances like that?

 

[seeingeyes]

They don't understand that we are to obey the law but the law of God trumps the government law.

Bingo.

This is more obvious in the reverse. What if all the state congresses decided on the same day to nullify all state marriages (assuming they could do this), thereby overriding the piece of paper I have in my drawer (at least I think it's in the drawer...where did I put that thing...).

Would my husband suddenly not be my husband any more? No way! My man is my man, and no roomful of politicians or kings or anyone can tell me differently. What God has put together, let no man tear asunder - not even Caesar.

 

[Avniel]

Bingo.

This is more obvious in the reverse. What if all the state congresses decided on the same day to nullify all state marriages (assuming they could do this), thereby overriding the piece of paper I have in my drawer (at least I think it's in the drawer...where did I put that thing...).

Would my husband suddenly not be my husband any more? No way! My man is my man, and no roomful of politicians or kings or anyone can tell me differently. What God has put together, let no man tear asunder - not even Caesar.

BINGO!!!!!!!!!!!

Exactly, the spiritual connection trumps the legal connection.

I think Christians should start fighting this. I mean we fight gay marriages why not fight for the right to be married by our beliefs not our government. I do recommend that everyone does get married legally(taxes ;-) but I also recommend that we as the body of Christ remove the government out of our church.

 

[Albion]

BINGO!!!!!!!!!!!

Exactly, the spiritual connection trumps the legal connection.

We're drifting way off the point now, though. It is not that there is one kind of marriage in competition with the other kind, even if the OP writer would like that to be the case. We have easy marriage in our society. You are not prohibited by cost or much of anything else from getting married in the eyes of the law. The state recognizes religious marriage services with no requirement for a repeat in front of a magistrate. etc.

The answer to the question does not lie in contrasting religious marriages with secular marriages as though the two shall never overlap.

 

[seeingeyes]

We're drifting way off the point now, though. It is not that there is one kind of marriage in competition with the other kind, even if the OP writer would like that to be the case. We have easy marriage in our society. You are not prohibited by cost or much of anything else from getting married in the eyes of the law. The state recognizes religious marriage services with no requirement for a repeat in front of a magistrate. etc.

The answer to the question does not lie in contrasting religious marriages with secular marriages as though the two shall never overlap.

Oh I don't think there are two kinds of marriages, I think there's only one. And of those marriages, the state recognizes the ones with the proper paperwork filled out. But I don't think that state recognition (or even church recognition) institutes marriage.

If that were true, then Adam and Eve were just 'shacking up'.

That being said, I'm wondering about the OP's motivation. If this is about, "Well let's get married before we get married so we can start knockin' da boots", then there are probably less controversial options.

 

[Avniel]

We're drifting way off the point now, though. It is not that there is one kind of marriage in competition with the other kind, even if the OP writer would like that to be the case. We have easy marriage in our society. You are not prohibited by cost or much of anything else from getting married in the eyes of the law. The state recognizes religious marriage services with no requirement for a repeat in front of a magistrate. etc.

The answer to the question does not lie in contrasting religious marriages with secular marriages as though the two shall never overlap.

We did kinda go off topic but I think its relvant to the conversation.

I do think that the secular marriaga and the christian marriage should be two different things. But I do think that the church culture has been heavily influenced by the country's culture. See the issue is that the church has believed in the american government. So issues like divorce, weed, health, even our religous holidays has been so influenced by the western society that it is hard to differentiate what our bible teaches us and what our society tells us is right.

When our marriages look like regualar every day marriages, its a problem. When we have the same bad attitudes as everyone else, its a problem. When people call us hyporcities every turn because we act worldly, talk worldly and see things worldly..........there is a problem.

 

[Albion]

Oh I don't think there are two kinds of marriages, I think there's only one.

We have been talking about religious ceremonies and secular ones, right?

And of those marriages, the state recognizes the ones with the proper paperwork filled out. But I don't think that state recognition (or even church recognition) institutes marriage.

But it constitutes a marriage. Not a sacramental one, but a valid union in God's eyes, just the same. Anyway, that's my view and it's what almost all churches of whatever denomination think.

If that were true, then Adam and Eve were just 'shacking up'.

I'd consider God to be the officiant in that marriage.

That being said, I'm wondering about the OP's motivation.

Yes.