Maiden name ONLY on Facebook ~ when married

[LovesToBless]

This morning I was on my facebook and saw a friend comment on someone's picture. When I looked closer, I recognized the woman as a mutual friend.

I was puzzled though, as she has her account under her maiden name. This is not a newlywed who hasn't gotten around to changing it, just so you know.

Now, I've seen people use their maiden name as their middle name in addition to their married name. But I've not run into this one before.

Just wondering what you married folks think.

 

[chaz345]

My thought on that would be that's it not cool. Most every married woman that I "know" on Facebook, my wife included does the maiden name as middle name thing.

My reasoning behind using just the maiden name not being good is that in an environment where it is likely that feelings/memories from the past will be stired if even just a little, it should be VERY clear very upfront that she's not available.

 

[SmileAndAHandshake]

Facebook actually accomodates maiden names. If you go to Account settings and select "change name" you will notice that aside from First / Middle / Last name fields, there is also a "Full Alternate Name" field. This is so you can put in a different name you might go by, and people can still find you under that name. The name will then appear next to your real name in brackets.

There is no need to use your maiden name on your primary profile name.. my thoughts? Doing so would be a slap in the face to my spouse. I'd never even dream of it. But then again, I am of the mindset that families (two people married) should share a last name. I'm not a fan of any of that "keeping your maiden name" business at all.. that's just a personal thing for me and I don't much care what anyone else does. But my personal feelings are that any kind of use of my maiden name after marriage (other than having to use my birth certificate for something) is a real slap in the face to my spouse.

 

[LovesToBless]

This is not a woman who uses her maiden name after marriage...just in case I didn't make that clear. She goes by her married name.

 

[ido]

Do you know for a fact that she took her husband's name when she married? I have known a small handful of women who kept their maiden name when they married - one is on FB, so her name shows up as her maiden name even though she is definitely married.

If she took her husband's name, then I don't believe there is any good reason NOT to have it listed. Does she share her marital status on her profile?

 

[ido]

We posted at the same time. lol

Skip my first paragraph

 

[LovesToBless]

Do you know for a fact that she took her husband's name when she married? I have known a small handful of women who kept their maiden name when they married - one is on FB, so her name shows up as her maiden name even though she is definitely married.

If she took her husband's name, then I don't believe there is any good reason NOT to have it listed. Does she share her marital status on her profile?

My husband was in their wedding...and yeah, I know. And I did see that you and I were both posting at the same time.

I'm not her fb friend, and she's limited her access...so, I don't know her marital status on her account. I can't imagine she wouldn't list as married.

I just think it's odd...and I hope nothing's wrong. That's a lot of why I posted this here...thinking someone might have a thought about why someone would do that...and it being o.k.

 

[ido]

Maybe you could have your husband call this woman's husband to say hi and see how life is going for them in general. He was in their wedding, so I'm assuming a phone call like that wouldn't seem strange, right?

 

[LovesToBless]

Well, it's not people we never hear from....but we're not in each other's every day lives anymore. Dunno...I'm just praying for them.

 

[scraparcs]

My sister had her profile under her maiden name for like six months. I mentioned it to her once and she didn't realize you could change it. It could be something simple like that.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

I think that this issue is STRICTLY between her and her husband. Is she a professional in such a field that she has reason to continue going by her maiden name? But whether or not she is, if her husband is fine with it, why should anyone else's opinion on it matter?

 

[LovesToBless]

My sister had her profile under her maiden name for like six months. I mentioned it to her once and she didn't realize you could change it. It could be something simple like that.

She didn't get married recently...she was married way before facebook.

 

[LovesToBless]

I think that this issue is STRICTLY between her and her husband. Is she a professional in such a field that she has reason to continue going by her maiden name? But whether or not she is, if her husband is fine with it, why should anyone else's opinion on it matter?

No, she's a mom. She's not a professional in a business field.

The reason I posted is...it doesn't look good to me, and I'm looking for reasons I'm not thinking of, which is what I'm getting.

And yes, it's not anyone else's business, including mine. I'm not going to ask her about it.

 

[c1ners]

Either she doesn't want anyone to know she's married, or she did it by accident and doesn't know how to fix it. either way, it's her choice.

 

[moonkitty]

I think that this issue is STRICTLY between her and her husband. Is she a professional in such a field that she has reason to continue going by her maiden name? But whether or not she is, if her husband is fine with it, why should anyone else's opinion on it matter?

I agree with this. Who cares? Seriously.

I kept my maiden name after marriage, but often people refer to me with my husband's name, and I usually don't inform them that I never took my hubby's name because it is not worth the trouble of hashing it all out. But I have had a few people do the whole "OH MY GOSH!!!! YOU DIDN'T PUT YOUR MARRIED NAME ON FB! YOU MUST WANT TO HAVE AN AFFAIR...." crap and I find it annoying.

 

[LovesToBless]

Either she doesn't want anyone to know she's married, or she did it by accident and doesn't know how to fix it. either way, it's her choice.

I agree with this. Who cares? Seriously.

I kept my maiden name after marriage, but often people refer to me with my husband's name, and I usually don't inform them that I never took my hubby's name because it is not worth the trouble of hashing it all out. But I have had a few people do the whole "OH MY GOSH!!!! YOU DIDN'T PUT YOUR MARRIED NAME ON FB! YOU MUST WANT TO HAVE AN AFFAIR...." crap and I find it annoying.

Right, it's her choice, who cares.

But...if you knew that she DID take his name, years ago and goes by it all the time....wouldn't it seem weird to you?

Just saying.

I think we've covered all the reasons she could have done this, so thanks, everyone.

 

[xDenax]

I don't see how it's any of your business? I use just my married name because it's like "jones" and doesn't tell you who I am. My maiden name however is extrememly rare. If it were the other way around I would use my maiden name instead.

 

[LovesToBless]

Apparently my concern for my friend is offending many of you.

So...there we have it.

Sorry I even asked.

 

[tessas212]

I understand why you are concerned. I would be too!

 

[xDenax]

It's not offensive. It's just a non-issue to many of us and we aren't sure why you are worrying about it.