Kissing (conservative/upci)

[Daisy23]

Hi, first sorry for my english, its not my first language I have tried to read around, but cant find what Im looking fore so bear with me And it is long, SORRY for that too!

I am a 28 years old apostolic pentecostal girl, pretty conservative, and are now dating a guy from my church in the 4. month. First relationship for both of us. We went out about 2-3 weeks (known each other over 3 years, and I knew he wanted to ask me out for about 3 month before he did it, so I was some prepared) before I got the answer from God that I needed to know this was His will, BF knew already for His part We are also thinking of marriage in the start of 2014. We did not hug before 3 weeks after we official was together, we pray about if or not to kiss before marriage and got advice from couple in our church. We now kiss and hold hands (We have kiss 5 times in 2 months, 3 sec kiss). We are only alone in public places, or sitting in different places in the kitchen with people in the next room. We want to honor Christ in all we do.

Ok that was a bit about us so you understand where we are from. I have never har problems with lust or mastrubation (incest in childhood, I am not perfect, but that has stop all my ideas about sex and so on). But now this is a problem (lust not mastrubation!) I SO like the 5 kisses we have had!! We had a double movie date at home with a friend, and I sat almost in his arms when the movie was playing, so kozy. I do not want to have sex or anything near to that (before marriage, after that I love to ) and I dont want to find out how near sind I can come, for I want to honor God all the time. But I also want to know how easy it is to tempt a boy, is longer then 3 sec kisses going to tempt him?? Schould I watch what I write in sms extra caresome?? We are both a bit sky so I dont want to ask him about this, not yet at least. I know I seem naiv, but I so looking forward, to getting married, and being husband and wife and not have to think about this thing, just kissing and so on


Any comments??
God bless you all

 

[LinkH]

As a man who is now married and a father of three girls, I can say I think you should abstain from kissing. I did not think that way as a single man, but I just didn't think through the whole issue as well back then, and no one really reasoned to me about it.

I've read that the 'boyfriend' is maybe 100 years old or so. Women didn't have boyfriends back in the old days like they do now. In the US, a woman might have different suitors, or just one, who came to her home and visited her at home. A suitor might propose marriage, and her parents were involved in the decision. Gradually, it became acceptable to have a boyfriend who met some of the social needs a woman met through her husband.

Back in Biblical times, women married young. Probably many of them had never kissed or gotten too affectionate with a potential suitor. I've read that physical affection like that produces bonding hormones. Isn't it better if the couple experience those hormones with the person they will spend their life with?

The Bible says for a man not to defraud his brother-- in a passage on fornication. If I walked up to another man's wife and gave her a big passionate kiss on the lips, I'd be assaulting her, and I believe I'd also be defrauding her husband, taking something that he had rights to. I think a good rule of thumb is not to do something to someone physically that is not your spouse that you couldn't do with a person married to someone else. I know that's radical, but I think that's good advice. It is certainly a lot more likely to keep you far from falling into fornication than making out on the couch in the dark while trying not to actually sleep together.