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Then you have obviously handled the time out badly. Getting 'mad' and showing it is poor parenting.My four-year-old son would have said that about a time out.
The next question would be to ask if the child knew why mommy or daddy was mad.
I was never truly angry at my children when they were young. It was only after they became adults that they ever did anything substantively wrong enough to make me angry. Well, there was the one time when my son was in middle school and I discovered he was "holding" a radio that a friend of his had stolen. Even then, my dominant emotion was fear, not anger.Then you have obviously handled the time out badly. Getting 'mad' and showing it is poor parenting.
So we emphasise your anger as part of the explanation?
There was one occasion when my kids were young when I lost my temper and it showed.
When I cooled down, I realised just how much I'd frightened them. I went and apologised to both kids.
You are the role model for your children.
OB
I was paddled by my teacher, & spanked by my mom, I was never beaten black and blue. It is not about spanking its about discipline which is sorly lacking today. In 1960 kids were not shooting up schools, they were beating up teachers, everyone go spankingsKid's Corporal Punishment - a Risk to Mental Health
Various sources*
A new study by the Australian Catholic University (ACU) has revealed that children who are smacked repeatedly by their parents are nearly twice as likely to develop anxiety and depression later in life.
The study of 8500 18 to 24 year olds found 61% experienced corporal punishment, as children, four or more times.
Females who were hit as kids were 1.8 times more likely to have a major depressive disorder, and 2.1 times to experience anxiety. Males were 1.7 times more likely to develop depression, and 1.6 times more likely to develop anxiety if they’d been smacked.
Professor Darryl Higgins, a lead researcher for the ACU study, believes it paints a clear picture that even infrequent exposure to corporal punishment puts children at risk of mental health disorders.
Professor Higgins is calling for smacking of children to be made illegal in Australia consistent with laws banning corporal punishment in 62 other countries.
According to the Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children, the evidence that corporal punishment is harmful to children, adults and societies is overwhelming:
“The more than 250 studies included in our review of research on the impact of and associations with corporal punishment show links between corporal punishment and a wide range of negative outcomes, including:
- direct physical harm
- negative impacts on mental and physical health
- poor moral internalisation and increased antisocial behaviour
- increased aggression in children
- increased violent and criminal behaviour in adults
- damaged education
- damaged family relationships
- increased acceptance and use of other forms of violence”
“The message from research is very clear: corporal punishment carries multiple risks of harm and has no benefits.”
*Sources:
OB
- Children who are smacked nearly twice as likely to develop mental health disorders later in life (9news.com.au)
- Childhood corporal punishment linked to lifelong mental health issues - ABC Melbourne
- Calls for Aussie parents to be banned from smacking their children | Daily Mail Online
- Shocking impact childhood smacking has on mental health (3aw.com.au)
- Research | Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children (endcorporalpunishment.org)
This is exactly how I have raised my son (he's eight). I've never smack, shouted or had to 'time out him'.Lots of positive reinforcement. Where needed - negative reinforcement by showing disapproval by using facial expression (like frowning) or a 'stern' voice. Explanations of why an act was inappropriate when they were old enough to understand.
Never showing anger.
Remembering that you are the role model for their behaviour.
Everyone gets angry--eliminating anger is impossible. If you never model for them that it's possible to be angry and yet not lose control, then they don't learn that from you.Never showing anger.
Remembering that you are the role model for their behaviour.
OB
Believe it or not I could count the number of times I've been truly angry on one hand. On the very rare occasions I've been angry it has been more of an internalised cold anger. I've also learned that anger tends to be caused by my own failings rather than the actions of others.Everyone gets angry--eliminating anger is impossible. If you never model for them that it's possible to be angry and yet not lose control, then they don't learn that from you.
Believe it or not I could count the number of times I've been truly angry on one hand.
Hi friend, I was often beat to a pulp, and I do not fit any of those problems. In fact, my solution to the gun debate is simply use trac guns to knock out an intruder. One does not have to kill, just stop them from hurting others. When the Police arrive, I give them the name of the medication and its antidote.Kid's Corporal Punishment - a Risk to Mental Health
Various sources*
A new study by the Australian Catholic University (ACU) has revealed that children who are smacked repeatedly by their parents are nearly twice as likely to develop anxiety and depression later in life.
The study of 8500 18 to 24 year olds found 61% experienced corporal punishment, as children, four or more times.
Females who were hit as kids were 1.8 times more likely to have a major depressive disorder, and 2.1 times to experience anxiety. Males were 1.7 times more likely to develop depression, and 1.6 times more likely to develop anxiety if they’d been smacked.
Professor Darryl Higgins, a lead researcher for the ACU study, believes it paints a clear picture that even infrequent exposure to corporal punishment puts children at risk of mental health disorders.
Professor Higgins is calling for smacking of children to be made illegal in Australia consistent with laws banning corporal punishment in 62 other countries.
According to the Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children, the evidence that corporal punishment is harmful to children, adults and societies is overwhelming:
“The more than 250 studies included in our review of research on the impact of and associations with corporal punishment show links between corporal punishment and a wide range of negative outcomes, including:
- direct physical harm
- negative impacts on mental and physical health
- poor moral internalisation and increased antisocial behaviour
- increased aggression in children
- increased violent and criminal behaviour in adults
- damaged education
- damaged family relationships
- increased acceptance and use of other forms of violence”
“The message from research is very clear: corporal punishment carries multiple risks of harm and has no benefits.”
*Sources:
OB
- Children who are smacked nearly twice as likely to develop mental health disorders later in life (9news.com.au)
- Childhood corporal punishment linked to lifelong mental health issues - ABC Melbourne
- Calls for Aussie parents to be banned from smacking their children | Daily Mail Online
- Shocking impact childhood smacking has on mental health (3aw.com.au)
- Research | Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children (endcorporalpunishment.org)
If they never knew you were angry, how have you modeled your means of controlling it?I model anger by not succumbing to the urge to express anger.
OB
The problem I see is that since we had this idea of protecting kids and kids rights around the 90's early 2000s where all these social justice warrior school social workers went in we have actually created a worse problem. Ever since we made policies to breakup families we have created a worse problem as far as youth discipline is concerned.Kid's Corporal Punishment - a Risk to Mental Health
Various sources*
A new study by the Australian Catholic University (ACU) has revealed that children who are smacked repeatedly by their parents are nearly twice as likely to develop anxiety and depression later in life.
The study of 8500 18 to 24 year olds found 61% experienced corporal punishment, as children, four or more times.
Females who were hit as kids were 1.8 times more likely to have a major depressive disorder, and 2.1 times to experience anxiety. Males were 1.7 times more likely to develop depression, and 1.6 times more likely to develop anxiety if they’d been smacked.
Professor Darryl Higgins, a lead researcher for the ACU study, believes it paints a clear picture that even infrequent exposure to corporal punishment puts children at risk of mental health disorders.
Professor Higgins is calling for smacking of children to be made illegal in Australia consistent with laws banning corporal punishment in 62 other countries.
According to the Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children, the evidence that corporal punishment is harmful to children, adults and societies is overwhelming:
“The more than 250 studies included in our review of research on the impact of and associations with corporal punishment show links between corporal punishment and a wide range of negative outcomes, including:
- direct physical harm
- negative impacts on mental and physical health
- poor moral internalisation and increased antisocial behaviour
- increased aggression in children
- increased violent and criminal behaviour in adults
- damaged education
- damaged family relationships
- increased acceptance and use of other forms of violence”
“The message from research is very clear: corporal punishment carries multiple risks of harm and has no benefits.”
*Sources:
OB
- Children who are smacked nearly twice as likely to develop mental health disorders later in life (9news.com.au)
- Childhood corporal punishment linked to lifelong mental health issues - ABC Melbourne
- Calls for Aussie parents to be banned from smacking their children | Daily Mail Online
- Shocking impact childhood smacking has on mental health (3aw.com.au)
- Research | Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children (endcorporalpunishment.org)
Not really research shows that kids learn from parents or adults behaviour (what they actually do and believe) and not what they say. If they see a parent going on about Rights or treating people fairly and they don't treat people fairly then that is what they will pickup on.I haven't got kids so my opinion is not qualified by experience ...
i would expect kids to follow my example.
If i hit, shout, smack - id expect the same from them to others.
I hope to lead by example.
I hope i can teach them a better way through demonstration.
then they know through experience
????
I can here parents now saying "good luck" haha
I mean good luck trying to not smack hahaNot really research shows that kids learn from parents or adults behaviour (what they actually do and believe) and not what they say. If they see a parent going on about Rights or treating people fairly and they don't treat people fairly then that is what they will pickup on.
Yes kids have a built in quality hypocrisy sensor which seems to fade with age.Not really research shows that kids learn from parents or adults behaviour (what they actually do and believe) and not what they say. If they see a parent going on about Rights or treating people fairly and they don't treat people fairly then that is what they will pickup on.
Or maybe it increases with age. They grow up with the parent watching their every move. They then grow older and begin to get insights into why parents behave that way, the underlying psychological reasons and then they know you inside out.Yes kids have a built in quality hypocrisy sensor which seems to fade with age.
No. That’s not how things work. Children are removed from families as a last resort.All those harms caused by corporal punishment can be applied to todays youth