Kicked out of Church?

[jennifer112060]

What would you say to a large Church who gives you a letter telling you to leave and if you enter their church property you will be arrested? Prior to this the Women's Leader in this church was following me from one function to another with a notebook, writing notes, talking to teachers that I spoke with in the classes, had me escorted out by security when she saw me entering the building, having peers report to her what I was doing and saying, having me kicked out of classes I signed up for after I purchased the book for the class, having me kicked out of choir, undermining my suggestions for the church, refusing to give me a receipt for a large donation I made to the church for missions, calling me on phone to tell me that I am not allowed to talk or email other women in the church, physically separating me from a close friend while i was talking on Church property and then starting talking to her while another pastor escorted me to the door telling me that I am being cut off from the Branch (Jesus) as in John 15, etc.
When I questioned this treatment to the Sr. pastor who I highly respect during an appointment, he told me he refuses to discuss any other leader in the church with me. He refused to even listen to the situation. I feel that pastors should address problems and concerns with their staff if they are out of order and deal with the problem, not just push it under the rug. When I approached the Women's Leader and asked for an appointment, she refused to give me one to address whatever the problem was. When I tried calling the Church, the secretary was told not to put me through and to direct all calls to this Woman's Leader who hangs up on me and refuses to talk to me.
I left the church and went to another, but the pastor wants a reference letter. Once he gets this letter, I had this mark against me already and this pastor told me to leave. I was being singled out again, since this pastor fellowship with the large church I was kicked out of. The pastors seem to stick together with this large church.
This large Church is very connected to large Christian functions at amusement parks, camping sites, and functions of some of the smaller churches and some of the people from the large church shuns and gossips when they see me. It is really difficult. I do not know how to handle it but it is excluding me from functions that are located at the large Churches' building that are put on by my new church I attend and it is causing division. If I write a letter, to the large Church that I was asked to leave, they may called it "harassment" and file charges with the police. They may also have a meeting with the other churches and make copies of the letter and discuss it when I am not present, so I am blackballed from ALL churches. If I leave it alone, like I have for 5 years already, I am still banned from the property when they have functions that other churches attend and that is advertised "open to the public." I have already gone to other churches that were connected to this Church and the minister walked up to me telling me that they have no problem with me, but they have to ask me to leave because this large church "funds" them and they had Security there. What could I do? This is really eating me up causing health problems. I do not know why they have treated me like this and they will not respond when I ask. The only partial information that they alluded to was that I have a lot of problems mostly people bullying me problems that was started from them when I asked for prayer for my problems and turned into gossip.

 

[joey_downunder]

You have gone into a lot of detail about your current situation and what other people are doing to you but haven't explained what contributed to that.

From an outsider's perspective it seems very unlikely that prayer requests that unfairly resulted in gossip against you suddenly led to you being banned. There are a lot of missing pieces to the puzzle.
Therefore you cannot expect reasonable advice based on so little information. proverbs 18:17

 

[andreha]

What would you say to a large Church who gives you a letter telling you to leave and if you enter their church property you will be arrested? Prior to this the Women's Leader in this church was following me from one function to another with a notebook, writing notes, talking to teachers that I spoke with in the classes, had me escorted out by security when she saw me entering the building, having peers report to her what I was doing and saying, having me kicked out of classes I signed up for after I purchased the book for the class, having me kicked out of choir, undermining my suggestions for the church, refusing to give me a receipt for a large donation I made to the church for missions, calling me on phone to tell me that I am not allowed to talk or email other women in the church, physically separating me from a close friend while i was talking on Church property and then starting talking to her while another pastor escorted me to the door telling me that I am being cut off from the Branch (Jesus) as in John 15, etc.
When I questioned this treatment to the Sr. pastor who I highly respect during an appointment, he told me he refuses to discuss any other leader in the church with me. He refused to even listen to the situation. I feel that pastors should address problems and concerns with their staff if they are out of order and deal with the problem, not just push it under the rug. When I approached the Women's Leader and asked for an appointment, she refused to give me one to address whatever the problem was. When I tried calling the Church, the secretary was told not to put me through and to direct all calls to this Woman's Leader who hangs up on me and refuses to talk to me.
I left the church and went to another, but the pastor wants a reference letter. Once he gets this letter, I had this mark against me already and this pastor told me to leave. I was being singled out again, since this pastor fellowship with the large church I was kicked out of. The pastors seem to stick together with this large church.
This large Church is very connected to large Christian functions at amusement parks, camping sites, and functions of some of the smaller churches and some of the people from the large church shuns and gossips when they see me. It is really difficult. I do not know how to handle it but it is excluding me from functions that are located at the large Churches' building that are put on by my new church I attend and it is causing division. If I write a letter, to the large Church that I was asked to leave, they may called it "harassment" and file charges with the police. They may also have a meeting with the other churches and make copies of the letter and discuss it when I am not present, so I am blackballed from ALL churches. If I leave it alone, like I have for 5 years already, I am still banned from the property when they have functions that other churches attend and that is advertised "open to the public." I have already gone to other churches that were connected to this Church and the minister walked up to me telling me that they have no problem with me, but they have to ask me to leave because this large church "funds" them and they had Security there. What could I do? This is really eating me up causing health problems. I do not know why they have treated me like this and they will not respond when I ask. The only partial information that they alluded to was that I have a lot of problems mostly people bullying me problems that was started from them when I asked for prayer for my problems and turned into gossip.

Those churches sound like sects that are lead by people who have no idea who God is...

 

[PaladinValer]

What would you say to a large Church who gives you a letter telling you to leave and if you enter their church property you will be arrested? Prior to this the Women's Leader in this church was following me from one function to another with a notebook, writing notes, talking to teachers that I spoke with in the classes, had me escorted out by security when she saw me entering the building, having peers report to her what I was doing and saying, having me kicked out of classes I signed up for after I purchased the book for the class, having me kicked out of choir, undermining my suggestions for the church, refusing to give me a receipt for a large donation I made to the church for missions, calling me on phone to tell me that I am not allowed to talk or email other women in the church, physically separating me from a close friend while i was talking on Church property and then starting talking to her while another pastor escorted me to the door telling me that I am being cut off from the Branch (Jesus) as in John 15, etc.
When I questioned this treatment to the Sr. pastor who I highly respect during an appointment, he told me he refuses to discuss any other leader in the church with me. He refused to even listen to the situation. I feel that pastors should address problems and concerns with their staff if they are out of order and deal with the problem, not just push it under the rug. When I approached the Women's Leader and asked for an appointment, she refused to give me one to address whatever the problem was. When I tried calling the Church, the secretary was told not to put me through and to direct all calls to this Woman's Leader who hangs up on me and refuses to talk to me.
I left the church and went to another, but the pastor wants a reference letter. Once he gets this letter, I had this mark against me already and this pastor told me to leave. I was being singled out again, since this pastor fellowship with the large church I was kicked out of. The pastors seem to stick together with this large church.
This large Church is very connected to large Christian functions at amusement parks, camping sites, and functions of some of the smaller churches and some of the people from the large church shuns and gossips when they see me. It is really difficult. I do not know how to handle it but it is excluding me from functions that are located at the large Churches' building that are put on by my new church I attend and it is causing division. If I write a letter, to the large Church that I was asked to leave, they may called it "harassment" and file charges with the police. They may also have a meeting with the other churches and make copies of the letter and discuss it when I am not present, so I am blackballed from ALL churches. If I leave it alone, like I have for 5 years already, I am still banned from the property when they have functions that other churches attend and that is advertised "open to the public." I have already gone to other churches that were connected to this Church and the minister walked up to me telling me that they have no problem with me, but they have to ask me to leave because this large church "funds" them and they had Security there. What could I do? This is really eating me up causing health problems. I do not know why they have treated me like this and they will not respond when I ask. The only partial information that they alluded to was that I have a lot of problems mostly people bullying me problems that was started from them when I asked for prayer for my problems and turned into gossip.

You haven't told us what happened which resulted in this conclusion. As such, no one can rationally respond without that information.

However, I will comment on a few things:

1. You should have been given the receipt for your donation. That is required for your taxes and, if you've already filed and you claimed it, it may be necessary depending on how large it is. If you are audited or are requested for proof, you'd have a major issue. I'd suggest contacting a tax and legal expert and seeing what recourse you have, because I have a nagging feeling that they are violating the law by not giving you a receipt upon demand. If so, you may have a legal avenue in order to obtain it. Shame on them for that.
2. I'm not sure they have a right to legally ban you from public events. They do have a right to ban you from their property, but public events are, by nature, public. Unless they have some sort of restraining order on you, again, I have a nagging feeling they are in violation of your rights, although I am less sure on this case. Again, consult a legal expert.
3. Regardless on how you were kicked out, I severely question your church's reaction. Unless you have threatened violence or been violent in any way, shape, or form (physical or non-physical), then I see no reason for them to behave in this manner. In my Anglican Church, people can and have been excommunicated, but they are still strongly encouraged to attend worship even though they are now banned from receiving the sacraments, voting, etc. It is used as a disciplinary measure. I find your church's method to be outright offensive, unnecessary, and it makes me question what have they to "hide."
4. They have no right to continue to harass you after they have kicked you out. The letter was enough. For now, you need to respect their wishes, and if they continue to harass, you do have a legal right to counter it because they would then be in violation of the law.

I understand if you are unwilling to give details, but I hope you would be willing to share. I also hope that my reply helps regardless as I think they are definitely overreacting in a way that potentially has severe reprocussions. Please be very careful but do not allow abuse to continue. Don't overreact yourself or be passive, but react appropriately and do what it takes to protect yourself.

You are in my prayers. Please take care of yourself.

 

[hedrick]

I'd be happy to give advice, but need to know a bit better what's going on.

 

[bertolt]

Goodness - what happened? There's clearly history you're not describing, but as far as I can tell, *no* church should act like this, even if there's some measure of church discipline involved.

If you did something wrong - and I'm not saying you did, because I don't know the situation - and you repented, then the issue should be *dead*, period, and this kind of behavior shouldn't be going on.

What kind of church is it? Was there some kind of unresolved conflict? There are situations I can imagine that would have caused this kind of rift, but even there it should be reparable.

 

[seashale76]

Are you in some kind of Pentecostal sect? This sounds EXACTLY like the tactics they use. Did you wear makeup, jewelry, trim your hair, were seen out in public wearing trousers, questioned something dodgy they were teaching in Sunday School? This is, unfortunately, common among some groups.

My advice? Count your blessings and be thankful you're out! You're well rid of that rubbish.

 

[Quasicentennial]

To overcome your past failure with your church denomination - if I was in your shoes - I would allow Jesus to forgive me and take control of my emotions: to show no anger towards my pastor and my faithful church members: to love them as much as I would love Jesus, it's as if the shameful incident did not happen at all. Jesus is real spiritual proof of my life because he is my eternal Savior and has authority over Satan's detrimentally cruel sin. Jesus is constantly refreshing my struggling heart with positive fruits of peace and joy, to lock away my problem failures that might turn up and repeat the same past history. I will street-evangelize the Word Of God to people taking a walk in the park, or to those who are taking their pet dogs for a walk as well, to allow my voice to be heard so that the supernatural peaceful spirit of Jesus can be spiritually absorbed into the hearts of men, women and children - so that a miraculous change from being lost to being found by our Lord Jesus Christ can become a powerful evidence of my love of Christ, so that in the end, my church will accept me back as a true Miracle Of Christ's Follower.

 

[technofox]

What would you say to a large Church who gives you a letter telling you to leave and if you enter their church property you will be arrested? Prior to this the Women's Leader in this church was following me from one function to another with a notebook, writing notes, talking to teachers that I spoke with in the classes, had me escorted out by security when she saw me entering the building, having peers report to her what I was doing and saying, having me kicked out of classes I signed up for after I purchased the book for the class, having me kicked out of choir, undermining my suggestions for the church, refusing to give me a receipt for a large donation I made to the church for missions, calling me on phone to tell me that I am not allowed to talk or email other women in the church, physically separating me from a close friend while i was talking on Church property and then starting talking to her while another pastor escorted me to the door telling me that I am being cut off from the Branch (Jesus) as in John 15, etc.
When I questioned this treatment to the Sr. pastor who I highly respect during an appointment, he told me he refuses to discuss any other leader in the church with me. He refused to even listen to the situation. I feel that pastors should address problems and concerns with their staff if they are out of order and deal with the problem, not just push it under the rug. When I approached the Women's Leader and asked for an appointment, she refused to give me one to address whatever the problem was. When I tried calling the Church, the secretary was told not to put me through and to direct all calls to this Woman's Leader who hangs up on me and refuses to talk to me.
I left the church and went to another, but the pastor wants a reference letter. Once he gets this letter, I had this mark against me already and this pastor told me to leave. I was being singled out again, since this pastor fellowship with the large church I was kicked out of. The pastors seem to stick together with this large church.
This large Church is very connected to large Christian functions at amusement parks, camping sites, and functions of some of the smaller churches and some of the people from the large church shuns and gossips when they see me. It is really difficult. I do not know how to handle it but it is excluding me from functions that are located at the large Churches' building that are put on by my new church I attend and it is causing division. If I write a letter, to the large Church that I was asked to leave, they may called it "harassment" and file charges with the police. They may also have a meeting with the other churches and make copies of the letter and discuss it when I am not present, so I am blackballed from ALL churches. If I leave it alone, like I have for 5 years already, I am still banned from the property when they have functions that other churches attend and that is advertised "open to the public." I have already gone to other churches that were connected to this Church and the minister walked up to me telling me that they have no problem with me, but they have to ask me to leave because this large church "funds" them and they had Security there. What could I do? This is really eating me up causing health problems. I do not know why they have treated me like this and they will not respond when I ask. The only partial information that they alluded to was that I have a lot of problems mostly people bullying me problems that was started from them when I asked for prayer for my problems and turned into gossip.

There a lot of gaps to your story as people have stated and dependent upon state law, the church can be sued for harassment, but you must retain and document all correspondences between you and the church group. As someone studying cybercrime, I had to study criminal stalking and harassment cases, as well as criminal law. It appears both sides could be guilty of harassment, especially this woman you have mentioned. Another issue you could sue for is slander and/or libel (defimation of character) against the church (or the individuals involved).

I would appreciate if you would tell us what all of this is centered around. What suggestions did you make? What problems did you mention that would cause such gossips?


If you don't feel comfortable mentioning this here publically, then PM me and I will see if there is anything that I can do, I won't judge. I am not a lawyer, but I can only give you advice based on my knowledge of criminal law and therefore provide some guidence; however, I need more information based upon that gives me a clearer idea of what is going on. Right now we are all speculating and shooting in the dark. The answeres to the questions above will provide greater clarity of what advice or guidance to give.

It would be best if you just forget that church has even existed, in my opinion. They obviously excommunicated you for reasons only known to them, yourself, and God. If this is a denominational church, then I would suggest heading to a non-denominational (or a different denominational) church with an open door policy (meaning they see themselves as a hospital for sinners, not a hotel for saints). I am sorry that you are experiencing such hardship and I will pray for you.

 

[homeofmew]

If they try any legal stuff, try your own legal stuff, have witnesses ect.
But since there is seperation of church and state and it was a donation you probobly wont be getting your money back or be able to get into the church.

What I would do Is stand right out side of church property and protest

 

[BFine]

You are telling us that all this was done to you
for no reason at all?
No one produced any evidence/witnesses etc when you asked
what was going on?

This matter should be discussed with a lawyer--
because if you are a truly innocent party and you are being ostracized like this--
you have an outstanding chance of suing/winning your case against them for
slander.

I would say run, do not walk to the nearest lawyer who is suited for this
type of case.

 

[Trogool]

What would you say to a large Church who gives you a letter telling you to leave and if you enter their church property you will be arrested?

Technically legal.

Prior to this the Women's Leader in this church was following me from one function to another with a notebook, writing notes, talking to teachers that I spoke with in the classes, had me escorted out by security when she saw me entering the building, having peers report to her what I was doing and saying, having me kicked out of classes I signed up for after I purchased the book for the class, having me kicked out of choir, undermining my suggestions for the church,

That's creepy and could be considered harassment.

refusing to give me a receipt for a large donation I made to the church for missions,

I think tax-exempt organizations are required to provide receipts for donations. If they accepted your money, they are required by the law to give you some kind of receipt for your tax records. I'm pretty sure this is something you could complain to the IRS about.

calling me on phone to tell me that I am not allowed to talk or email other women in the church,

That's a lie. You have the legal right to speak to whomever you please until the other person tells you otherwise. No adult can tell a second adult to not contact a third adult, unless the first adult is the court-appointed guardian of the third in the event where the third is found medically and legally incompetent by the court.

physically separating me from a close friend while i was talking on Church property

Technically illegal. Adults actually don't have the right to go about manhandling each other.

and then starting talking to her while another pastor escorted me to the door telling me that I am being cut off from the Branch (Jesus) as in John 15, etc.
When I questioned this treatment to the Sr. pastor who I highly respect during an appointment, he told me he refuses to discuss any other leader in the church with me. He refused to even listen to the situation. I feel that pastors should address problems and concerns with their staff if they are out of order and deal with the problem, not just push it under the rug. When I approached the Women's Leader and asked for an appointment, she refused to give me one to address whatever the problem was. When I tried calling the Church, the secretary was told not to put me through and to direct all calls to this Woman's Leader who hangs up on me and refuses to talk to me.
I left the church and went to another, but the pastor wants a reference letter. Once he gets this letter, I had this mark against me already and this pastor told me to leave. I was being singled out again, since this pastor fellowship with the large church I was kicked out of. The pastors seem to stick together with this large church.
This large Church is very connected to large Christian functions at amusement parks, camping sites, and functions of some of the smaller churches and some of the people from the large church shuns and gossips when they see me. It is really difficult. I do not know how to handle it but it is excluding me from functions that are located at the large Churches' building that are put on by my new church I attend and it is causing division. If I write a letter, to the large Church that I was asked to leave, they may called it "harassment" and file charges with the police. They may also have a meeting with the other churches and make copies of the letter and discuss it when I am not present, so I am blackballed from ALL churches. If I leave it alone, like I have for 5 years already, I am still banned from the property when they have functions that other churches attend and that is advertised "open to the public." I have already gone to other churches that were connected to this Church and the minister walked up to me telling me that they have no problem with me, but they have to ask me to leave because this large church "funds" them and they had Security there. What could I do? This is really eating me up causing health problems. I do not know why they have treated me like this and they will not respond when I ask. The only partial information that they alluded to was that I have a lot of problems mostly people bullying me problems that was started from them when I asked for prayer for my problems and turned into gossip.

If you are no longer a member of the church, that church legally cannot stalk you through your community and obsessively try and get you blacklisted from everywhere.

 

[technofox]

Technically legal.

That's creepy and could be considered harassment.

I think tax-exempt organizations are required to provide receipts for donations. If they accepted your money, they are required by the law to give you some kind of receipt for your tax records. I'm pretty sure this is something you could complain to the IRS about.

That's a lie. You have the legal right to speak to whomever you please until the other person tells you otherwise. No adult can tell a second adult to not contact a third adult, unless the first adult is the court-appointed guardian of the third in the event where the third is found medically and legally incompetent by the court.

Technically illegal. Adults actually don't have the right to go about manhandling each other.

If you are no longer a member of the church, that church legally cannot stalk you through your community and obsessively try and get you blacklisted from everywhere.

^ all of this is spot on.

 

[PraiseToAslan]

From a recovering rambler - see if you can restate it in one brief paragraph.

That way, people will read it to the end.

 

[Pal Handy]

Jennifer...

What did you do?

No one gets kicked out of anything unless they step on some toes....

 

[StormHawk]

... arrested... following me... security ... kicked out of choir, undermining my suggestions ... tell me that I am not allowed to talk or email other women ... gossip.

Oh for goodness sake!
You are better off away from all that.
Come & visit us.

 

[jennifer112060]

I gave alot of details of the Church behavior towards me. I do NOT know what happened to have caused this behavior. When I tried to make an appointment, they would not allow it and said NO. I am being as honest as possible. I have left the church and let this go, but this Church mingles and shares their building with other churches and has functions there. Since I am not allowed on their property, I cannot go to these functions even though my present Church is using THEIR building for the functions. Again, I do not know what happened that caused them to treat me like this. I am not in any sin and I did not get loud or violent.

 

[jennifer112060]

My suggestion to the pastor that oversees the Snack Bar was to have soup and salad instead of donuts and sweets and this woman leader saw me talking to him, questioned this pastor and twisted my information stating that I was harassing this pastor regarding the Snack Bar at Church.

 

[Pal Handy]

I gave alot of details of the Church behavior towards me. I do NOT know what happened to have caused this behavior. When I tried to make an appointment, they would not allow it and said NO. I am being as honest as possible. I have left the church and let this go, but this Church mingles and shares their building with other churches and has functions there. Since I am not allowed on their property, I cannot go to these functions even though my present Church is using THEIR building for the functions. Again, I do not know what happened that caused them to treat me like this. I am not in any sin and I did not get loud or violent.

Wow...a totally innocent person who is persecuted for no reason...

Jesus, you have a sister who is about to be crucified....
please help her to surrender to the Fathers will as you did....

 

[joey_downunder]

I gave alot of details of the Church behavior towards me. I do NOT know what happened to have caused this behavior. When I tried to make an appointment, they would not allow it and said NO. I am being as honest as possible. I have left the church and let this go, but this Church mingles and shares their building with other churches and has functions there. Since I am not allowed on their property, I cannot go to these functions even though my present Church is using THEIR building for the functions. Again, I do not know what happened that caused them to treat me like this. I am not in any sin and I did not get loud or violent.

OK going on what you are saying - why on earth do you want to go to a church that rejects people after they have made a prayer request? It doesn't matter what the topic is. The whole situation sounds completely bizarre.

Does that church expect their church members to be perfect and act happy, without fault all the time?

My suggestion to the pastor that oversees the Snack Bar was to have soup and salad instead of donuts and sweets and this woman leader saw me talking to him, questioned this pastor and twisted my information stating that I was harassing this pastor regarding the Snack Bar at Church.

That is even weirder. Making suggestions for catering is harrassment? ! How did you say what you said? Voice tone and facial expressions communicate more than mere words.

Now assuming that you are telling things exactly as they are - seriously are there other saner churchers in your area?