Is Sex Before Marriage Permissible?

[Servant222]

First, could only those who are committed Christians, and who have done sufficient Bible reading on this issue, and who feel led by the Holy Spirit, vote.

The Bible has many references to "sexual immorality", but the question keeps coming up about whether God specifically forbids sexual intercourse before marriage.
One supporting reference is Hebrews 13:

4Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

Does this mean that, for example, if a couple come to know each other as virgins, and are totally committed to staying together, there still should be no sex before they get married?

Please add any supporting Bible verses if possible (quote them directly using the Bible search feature on CF or at http://www.biblegateway.com/).

 

[Solidlyhere]

Is pre-Marital sex permissible?

In society, it is perfectly legal.

In Church, as nearly every Christian knows, it is berated by Pastors.
So, the quick-and-easy answer is: Church leadership are unanimous in their belief: Pre-Marital sex is a no-no.

I would put THIS question out instead: Does ANYONE have a Pastor is NOT against pre-Marital sex?
This will make things a little easier.

 

[ParsonJefferson]

Is pre-Marital sex permissible?

In society, it is perfectly legal.

In Church, as nearly every Christian knows, it is berated by Pastors.
So, the quick-and-easy answer is: Church leadership are unanimous in their belief: Pre-Marital sex is a no-no.

I would put THIS question out instead: Does ANYONE have a Pastor is NOT against pre-Marital sex?
This will make things a little easier.

The FAR MORE IMPORTANT ISSUE is, "What does the Bible say?"

There is no question, from the Bible, that sex outside of marriage is wrong.

Now... there are those here who want to dance a silly semantic dance by saying that "pre-marital sex" is not "sex outside of marriage". But that's like saying that's it's okay to have sex in the back seat of a car because the Bible does not explicitly say, "Thou shalt not have sex in the back seat of a car."

 

[Solidlyhere]

ParsonJefferson says: "There is no question, from the Bible, that sex outside of marriage is wrong."

Would you be kind enough to cite the Bible Verse which discusses pre-Marital sex?

If I read such a Verse, THEN I might agree that there is NO question about it.

 

[JulySheMustFly]

This kind of question always begs, "What constitutes a marriage?"

Anyway, from my own searching I've concluded that sex outside of a legal marriage can be permissible but more often than not (especially in our current sex focused society) sex outside of marriage is not something Christians should be doing. But, I hate "shoulding."

 

[E.C.]

No.

And now for a number of reasons besides using the Bible (because honestly, everyone here draws their own "conclusion" right?)

Wait a while. You'll enjoy it more.

Avoid some STD.

Don't get someone pregnant.

If they do get pregnant and a break-up occurs, than there is usually child support. That takes a lot out of one's paycheck.

 

[icedtea]

Even if it were permissable by God, it would still be a bad idea. I know.

 

[Miracle Storm]

Pre marital sex is sin.

I have committed this sin as I am sure many others have, but it makes it NO less sin.

 

[Servant222]

ParsonJefferson says: "There is no question, from the Bible, that sex outside of marriage is wrong."

Would you be kind enough to cite the Bible Verse which discusses pre-Marital sex?

If I read such a Verse, THEN I might agree that there is NO question about it.

In my experience, pastors and other religious leaders are generally against it.

I have not yet found a Bible verse that specifically condemns it. In another thread, eloquent arguments were made suggesting that some Scripture verses can be interpreted as being against it.

One problem is the interpretation of marriage- my parents were married in a Christian church by an ordained minister, but the country they were in refused to give them an official marriage certificate. So does that mean they weren't legally married? They certainly considered themselves married, and were in fact eventually given a marriage license. But this still brings up the question of what constitutes a marriage- it is pretty casual in some countries.

 

[*Starlight*]

It depends on how you define marriage...

 

[MezzaMorta]

I see absolutely nothing wrong with it.

 

[Jig]

In Gen 2:24 we see God installing the concept and defining the holy union of marriage. It is to be "a man and his wife" who come together to form "one flesh". In all other passages where "one flesh" is discussed, it is always in the context of a man and a women. We know from countless other passages that this union is to keep us from sexual immorality. (1 Cor. 7)

Sexual immorality is always called sin in Scripture, we know that when two people become one flesh (married) they no longer commit such immorality (1 Cor. 7) Thus, it is those who are not married who commit it when engaged in sexual conduct outside of a marriage. (1 Thess. 4:3-5)

 

[MezzaMorta]

24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

[FONT=&quot] We know from countless other passages that this union is to keep us from sexual immorality.

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[FONT=&quot] Never says that all sex outside of marriage is sexual immorality though, just as all sex with in a marriage is not all not sexually immoral. [/FONT]
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hus, it is those who are not married who commit it when engaged in sexual conduct outside of a marriage

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[FONT=&quot] Never says that”[/FONT]
“3It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4that each of you should learn to control his own body[a] in a way that is holy and honorable, 5not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God;”

Two consenting individuals engaging in sexual relations is not sexual immoral to me and that scripture does not say do not do it. To me it is speaking against rape, or forcing a girl, or unmoral sexual acts. It says “passionate lust”, lust is the want of something you cannot have. So it is speaking about sex with women who either do not want to have sex with you or cannot. Not women who willingly engage in intercourse.

 

[icedtea]

It depends on how you define marriage...

Any sin can be found excuses for.

 

[Leah]

I'm not married and voted no because God doesn't like people having sex outside of marriage and simply because it's nasty. What needs to be done between two people being in love is the exercising of self-control and prayer. Also, how can you know if whether or not the man/woman you're wanting is even the right person for you to be with forever (which should be an obvious and relevant question that needs to be asked before you share your body parts with one another)?

The problem is not sex outside of marriage. The problem is people not using common sense and being unwilling to practice self-control. And both are abilies God gave us to use.

Btw, being in love is not a license to share your body with someone else. So you have sex; ok. Then what? More sex? Just because you're 'in love'?? According to 1Corinthians 13:4-7, that's not what love is. If you can't even exercise self-control, then that's proabbly a good indication that you're not taking the relationship seriously. God takes ALL relationships seriously.

If you love that person, then the best thing to do is wait until you know for sure he/she is the one God brought to you by talking to Him about it and your love for each other is legally and spiritually consummated.

Wouldn't that be the wise and honorable thing to do? Is it possible to do? If you answered no, then keep your genitals to yourself.

 

[Leah]

Any sin can be found excuses for.

And that's how alot of us miss out on what God has planned for our lives.

Great point, HD.

 

[TamiinKS]

I'm not married and voted no because God doesn't like people having sex outside of marriage and simply because it's nasty.

What is the difference between married sex and not married sex that makes one nasty and one holy? Because I've had both and they're identical.

That attitude is responsible for, I believe, so many people who are married yet still can't enjoy sex with their spouse because someone somewhere taught them that sex was "nasty."

I don't think "permissible" is the right word to use here. It's sinful. But it's also forgivable. I can lead to negative consequences, but God can and does take those things that seeem bad and make from them something to His glory.

And again we seem to be focusing on the idea of God taking something away instead of the idea that God gave us something good and we perverted it.

 

[Servant222]

But if two consenting individuals engaging in sexual intercourse break up and meet up with other partners and do the same thing, they are guilty of adultery.

Matthew 5:

31"It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.'[a] 32But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery."

Does anyone know historically what Jesus meant by this- did the Roman rulers really have an official "certificate of divorce" that had to be filled in and handed over?

In any of these matters, of course, you will never go wrong by erring on the safe side. I greatly admire friends who met as high school sweethearts and didn't become intimate until they were married.

And, of course, let us not forget that Jesus forgives all sins and those who are in relationships that don't feel right should ask the Lord for guidance and move forward in a more Biblical direction.

 

[Leah]

What is the difference between married sex and not married sex that makes one nasty and one holy? Because I've had both and they're identical.

That attitude is responsible for, I believe, so many people who are married yet still can't enjoy sex with their spouse because someone somewhere taught them that sex was "nasty."

I don't think "permissible" is the right word to use here. It's sinful. But it's also forgivable. I can lead to negative consequences, but God can and does take those things that seeem bad and make from them something to His glory.

And again we seem to be focusing on the idea of God taking something away instead of the idea that God gave us something good and we perverted it.

No, that is not what I said. I said in one sentance that sex OUTSIDE of mariage is nasty. Also, we need to quit blamming other people's interpretations of doing what is good and what's not when we have God to help us in that area.

Don't put words in my mouth.

 

[ReformedChapin]

No, that is not what I said. I said in one sentance that sex OUTSIDE of mariage is nasty. Also, we need to quit blamming other people's interpretations of doing what is good and what's not when we have God to help us in that area.

Don't put words in my mouth.

I don't think you should use the word nasty but "unclean" or unbiblical. Sex is clearly a gift from God and he ment for us to enjoy it IN MARRIGE.