Is Oral Sex a Sin Before Marriage? What Does the Bible Say?

[machoe]

Hi,

I have posted the same subject about 1 year ago regarding oral sex before marriage and I was thinking of discussing it again.

My girlfriend and I have been 2 years together and we really love each other. We both agreed that we leave sex after marriage but on the other hand we have made oral sex (touching, kissing....).

I have been worrying about this since I truly love God and I do not want to have a sinful life. I even talked to some pastures about this and they all gave me different answers.

For example a pasture told me to always go step by step; another pasture told me that if there is real love and not just for fun than it is ok....but still my mind keeps worrying that I am doing something wrong. On the other hand I also think that since I am doing it for love and not just for the fun of it, it is ok....but I am really still sad and confused.

I HOPE GOD IS NOT ANGRY AT ME BECAUSE THATS HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW even if I am feeling of doing something write for love I always have doubts and I need your help please

 

[dayhiker]

I don't think God is mad at you. Paul tells us what ever isn't of faith is sin. Also we are to think God in all things. Sounds like you have to choose if you can thank God and act in faith or not.

I think that you will still get different points of view here, so that will no doult keep the confusion going. but seek and you will find.

 

[Lupinus]

Is God mad at you? No, of course not.

However, oral sex before marriage is still sex.

 

[LWB]

I don't understand why you don't just get married.

 

[DamianWarS]

I don't understand why you don't just get married.

exactly... just get married, what is stopping you? Stop talking about it and trying to find the one answer that will justify your actions. If you posted on this subject a year ago that must mean you and GF have been having oral sex for at least a year. If you're too young to get married then stop having oral sex and don't get so deep in a relationship that you can't do anything about.

 

[Cuddles333]

I see nothing wrong in your expression of love to each other. However, it is time to consider marriage since this is going on 3 years.

 

[Dan the Man]

Hi,

I have posted the same subject about 1 year ago regarding oral sex before marriage and I was thinking of discussing it again.

My girlfriend and I have been 2 years together and we really love each other. We both agreed that we leave sex after marriage but on the other hand we have made oral sex (touching, kissing....).

I have been worrying about this since I truly love God and I do not want to have a sinful life. I even talked to some pastures about this and they all gave me different answers.

For example a pasture told me to always go step by step; another pasture told me that if there is real love and not just for fun than it is ok....but still my mind keeps worrying that I am doing something wrong. On the other hand I also think that since I am doing it for love and not just for the fun of it, it is ok....but I am really still sad and confused.

I HOPE GOD IS NOT ANGRY AT ME BECAUSE THATS HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW even if I am feeling of doing something write for love I always have doubts and I need your help please

When you are describing "oral sex" here you say touching, kissing, etc. That's not really oral sex by definition. I don't think there's anything wrong with kissing and some touching before marriage. When I think of oral sex I think of getting a BJ and stuff like that. That's a lot different than what you are describing. I agree with the others here. If you really love this girl and are having these urges to get physical with her, then why don't you just get married?

 

[Verticordious]

Oral sex is still sex, and before marriage it is immoral. Anything that is intended to fulfill sexual desires, even kissing and touching, is still sex and immoral before marriage. Sex is intended for a committed man and woman, and that commitment is made through marriage. If the two of you are committed to remained faithful to each other for the rest of your lives, then there's no reason to wait to get marriage. If you are still unsure whether you want to commit to each other for the rest of your lives then you are being disobedient to God by engaging in sexual activity.

God definitely does not like your behavior, but he is willing to forgive, especially those who sin out of ignorance. Now, however, you are no longer ignorant, and now is your chance to prove you really do love God by obeying him and stop engaging in sex until after you get married.

In America it is common for people to plan their wedding months or even years ahead of time, but there's no reason to do that if you don't want to. You can register for a marriage license and be married within a week if you want, and you can always have a big ceremony later on. Of course, you shouldn't get married next week if you've never talked about it before with her before, but if you have talked about it and you're ready to make the decision there's no reason to put it off for a year if you don't want to. After two years I would imagine you're either ready to get married, or that you just have absolutely no idea what you're looking for in a wife, but, whatever you decide, having sex before marriage is not acceptable.

 

[grasping the after wind]

I think that if you are feeling guilty about doing something you should refrain from doing it. That is the best advice I can give about this or any other action you may take. When your conscience bothers you, you are doing something wrong even if it isn't technically a sin. Don't worry about whether it is technically a sin or not because even if it isn't, doing something that you feel guilty doing is as unhealthy for your faith life as a technical sin would be. Remember, however, that God does not expect you to be perfect He only expects you to do your best to follow Him.

 

[kaytealyn411]

Hi,

I have posted the same subject about 1 year ago regarding oral sex before marriage and I was thinking of discussing it again.

My girlfriend and I have been 2 years together and we really love each other. We both agreed that we leave sex after marriage but on the other hand we have made oral sex (touching, kissing....).

I have been worrying about this since I truly love God and I do not want to have a sinful life. I even talked to some pastures about this and they all gave me different answers.

For example a pasture told me to always go step by step; another pasture told me that if there is real love and not just for fun than it is ok....but still my mind keeps worrying that I am doing something wrong. On the other hand I also think that since I am doing it for love and not just for the fun of it, it is ok....but I am really still sad and confused.

I HOPE GOD IS NOT ANGRY AT ME BECAUSE THATS HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW even if I am feeling of doing something write for love I always have doubts and I need your help please

Do not worry im in your same position. I've also posted about
premarital sex. I asked how can premarital sex even exist because in the bible, god looks upon sex as being the actual act of marriage. Marriage was a man asking for a woman as a wife from the woman's father. The father said yes or no and if yes, the man would take the woman to his home and they would have sex and god would look upon it as the joining and "marriage" between a man and woman. Therefore, the act of sex is marriage. So as long as you love her and you want to get married (as in the ceremony of today for marriage in a church) having sex or anything else is okay. But know that is you have sex that it would be a sin to be with anyone else afterwards


And NEVER think god will be mad at you. if you feel you did something wrong, talk to god. ask for forgiveness.

-only my take on the subject

 

[kaytealyn411]

Hi,

I have posted the same subject about 1 year ago regarding oral sex before marriage and I was thinking of discussing it again.

My girlfriend and I have been 2 years together and we really love each other. We both agreed that we leave sex after marriage but on the other hand we have made oral sex (touching, kissing....).

I have been worrying about this since I truly love God and I do not want to have a sinful life. I even talked to some pastures about this and they all gave me different answers.

For example a pasture told me to always go step by step; another pasture told me that if there is real love and not just for fun than it is ok....but still my mind keeps worrying that I am doing something wrong. On the other hand I also think that since I am doing it for love and not just for the fun of it, it is ok....but I am really still sad and confused.

I HOPE GOD IS NOT ANGRY AT ME BECAUSE THATS HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW even if I am feeling of doing something write for love I always have doubts and I need your help please

Do not worry im in your same position. I've also posted about
premarital sex. I asked how can premarital sex even exist because in the bible, god looks upon sex as being the actual act of marriage. Marriage was a man asking for a woman as a wife from the woman's father. The father said yes or no and if yes, the man would take the woman to his home and they would have sex and god would look upon it as the joining and "marriage" between a man and woman. Therefore, the act of sex is marriage. So as long as you love her and you want to get married (as in the ceremony of today for marriage in a church) having sex or anything else is okay. But know that is you have sex that it would be a sin to be with anyone else afterwards


And NEVER think god will be mad at you. if you feel you did something wrong, talk to god. ask for forgiveness.

-only my take on the subject

 

[Rev.Ross]

Oral sex is genital touching and [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]. It is the female arousing and [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] the male, or the male touching or licking the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] to bring the female to [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]. This is still sex,and I do believe it should be reserved for marriage. In this case I think marriage is best. Sooner or later, the oral sex will lead to sexual intercourse which is prohibited by God except for married people. If you two want to continue as boyfriend and girlfriend, just do your masturbation in private, and save oral sex and intercourse for marriage.
Thanks, Rev. Ross

 

[Armistead14]

I certainly wouldn't get married just to cover the sex issue, many young christians do, only to find out later they weren't ready for marriage and get divorced.

Like others, hard to know what you mean by oral sex. It's certainly safer in that you can't get pregnant.

Sexual tension is created by puberty, it's hormonal and physical, if you take one outlet of sexuality away, by nature it will seek another. It can't be defeated, because God made us that way. Puberty causes us to have sexual desire, fantasy, etc..sexual thoughts don't equal lust.

It's difficult, but I would encourage you to "do no harm". If you're suffering from guilt, you need to decide does it stem from biased religious control os sexuality or your own guilt based on your standards.

Ever tried MB before going on a date....

One of the best essays I've read on sexual history in Christianity.

Christianity and Sex

 

[Rev.Ross]

Yes, I would not get married just to solve the sex issue. Marriage is about more than sex. It is living together 24/7, except for work. cleaning house, fixing meals, all the small drudgery things of life: laundry, house cleaning, groceries, etc. It takes a committment to have both good marriage and good sex. Maybe masturbation before going out would help. STD's and HIV can be transmitted by oral sex, so beware about that issue.

 

[RoseGraced]

Yeah oral sex is still sex. It certainly has the same emotional ramifications.

I don't believe that it's ok to have sex before marriage, but even if the Bible was cool with it, I still wouldn't do it because it hurts so badly. (Emotionally not physically haha.)

Oh, and having sex DOES NOT mean you are married "in the eyes of God"

And going out a getting a marriage licence in the next week just makes a joke out of marriage in my opinion.

 

[Incariol]

Hi,

I have posted the same subject about 1 year ago regarding oral sex before marriage and I was thinking of discussing it again.

My girlfriend and I have been 2 years together and we really love each other. We both agreed that we leave sex after marriage but on the other hand we have made oral sex (touching, kissing....).

I have been worrying about this since I truly love God and I do not want to have a sinful life. I even talked to some pastures about this and they all gave me different answers.

For example a pasture told me to always go step by step; another pasture told me that if there is real love and not just for fun than it is ok....but still my mind keeps worrying that I am doing something wrong. On the other hand I also think that since I am doing it for love and not just for the fun of it, it is ok....but I am really still sad and confused.

I HOPE GOD IS NOT ANGRY AT ME BECAUSE THATS HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW even if I am feeling of doing something write for love I always have doubts and I need your help please

Are you waiting for your priest to send you guys a gold, engraved invitation before getting married?

Getting Married Catholic « For Your Marriage

 

[lux et lex]

I disagree that kissing and such is sex. My ex looked at it much the same (although never said it was sex, just said it was impure). We were together 2.5 years and his puritanical views lead to much of my frustration. One of my main love languages is physical touch, which needn't be sexual, just closeness...hand holding, cuddling, etc. He looked at all of that as being sexual. I would talk with your partner about striking a balance and how your actions are aligned with your faith (or if they aren't).

I would also think that at least some talk of marriage would be natural around the 2 to 3 year mark. Talk doesn't necessitate doing however. I have had many Christian friends dive into marriage in order to have sex. Mistake. I do have to say that my ex and I did move slowly (well no movement in the physical department, but emotionally) and that was good for us, and once we were pretty deeply emotionally connect was when I figured out it wasn't good for me to be with him. We had been talking a lot about marriage and I realized I couldn't ever see myself as the woman he talked about having as a wife. He still doesn't get it, so we just don't talk anymore because it's too difficult, but do consider the value in the jump down the rabbit hole that I just took. If you can't see yourself with your partner and you're together for comfort/it's easy/habit reasons, end the relationship.

 

[dayhiker]

The sex = marriage thing. That might have been true in the early chapters of Gen. But I don't see it as true in the rest of the Bible. Even Tamar tricking Jacob into getting her pregnant wasn't considered a marriage.

 

[RealDealNeverstop]

If you are honest with each other there is no reason to feel guilty and whatever you do...DO NOT get married because you want guilt free physical fun time.

 

[Ave Maria]

Any sexual activity before marriage is gravely sinful and that includes oral sex.