- Jun 2, 2024
- 51
- 20
- 27
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Single
So apparently, my year has started with me learning I have problems with my mouth (cursing and disrespect), and God helping me get dental coverage--which I prayed for on the same day...and me basically tearing my hair out over my romantic preferences again. Ugh! I'm sorry, but I spend way more time on X than I should--so many accounts there push for traditional gender roles and feminine women. It makes me feel like such an outcast sometimes.
In the past, I've said that my ideal type, in terms of personality, is a total tomboy. A woman who's mostly--if not entirely--masculine. A girl who's "one of the guys" and can be my bro. I ain't that crazy about femininity. So in the past, I talked about inward traits that I'm attracted to. But this time, I want to focus on the outward. And don't worry, I didn't forget Proverbs 31:30.
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." -Proverbs 31:30, New International Version
Now, as the title implies, I'm to an extent, attracted to androgyny in women. Specifically, a combination of athletic/muscular bodies, very short hair (we're talking boyishly so, like pixie cuts), small or flat chests, and/or happy trails (meaning navel hair). Basically, a look that either gets a woman mistaken for a butch lesbian, or looks like she's trying to audition for a movie role as Joan of Arc. What's a bit ironic is, I kinda developed this taste after learning about Joan of Arc and her tale.
I realized this about myself 2 years ago. I had found this manwha--meaning, Korean comic book--titled "The Knight and Her Emperor." And one of the main characters is a knight named Paulina, whose emperor Lucius has a crush on her. Paulina has boyishly short red hair, is muscular and scarred, and her chest is small. Despite the fact that she presented herself as a man in war (Deuteronomy 22:5 makes it clear this is a sin)--keep in mind her father got her sent to war in hopes of getting her killed so her little sister can inherit the family fortune--I found myself thinking to myself, "Wow, she's kind of...handsome." Not the kind of word you'd use to describe a woman you were attracted to.
I remember late in 2024, there was this butch female cop at my job. Slightly taller than me, short hair, kind of broad body. She even came to my work area in a flannel shirt to get her police uniform. Sadly for me, a few weeks into her employment, she got moved to a different hospital. (Did I mention that I work at a clinic?) I wanted to say something to her, but I was afraid she'd turn out to be a lesbian, as I've accidentally crushed on two lesbians before because they were masculine.
And I found out about this trope in anime called "reverse traps"--referring to female characters who looks (and in many cases acts, sounds, and even dresses) like a male, leading to them being mistaken as male. On one hand, I knew I couldn't condone crossdressing, but on the other hand, their masculine appearances just kind of got to me.
(BTW, this short-haired cutie is from Chainsaw Man.)
For that reason, I'm emotionally conflicted about this anime called "How I Attended An All-Guys Mixer." Basically, the plot is that a college student and two of his friends are invited to a mixer by a female classmates, but the three guys find three handsome men there--or do they? It turns out that the three "men" are actually women crossdressing for their jobs. At first, our male trio isn't sure how to react, but they find themselves getting close to these girls.
I don't know if I can watch the anime because it involves and condones crossdressing, but the revelation that those three handsome men are actually women made me feel attracted. Well, not to them per se, but due to their short hair. I just appreciated their short hair and lack of a visible bust while they were disguised.
I need genuine advice--especially from more mature brothers and sisters in Christ. Is an attraction to androgynous women as a man ungodly in any way, shape, or form? And am I lusting? Explain how. This is driving me crazy today.
In the past, I've said that my ideal type, in terms of personality, is a total tomboy. A woman who's mostly--if not entirely--masculine. A girl who's "one of the guys" and can be my bro. I ain't that crazy about femininity. So in the past, I talked about inward traits that I'm attracted to. But this time, I want to focus on the outward. And don't worry, I didn't forget Proverbs 31:30.
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." -Proverbs 31:30, New International Version
Now, as the title implies, I'm to an extent, attracted to androgyny in women. Specifically, a combination of athletic/muscular bodies, very short hair (we're talking boyishly so, like pixie cuts), small or flat chests, and/or happy trails (meaning navel hair). Basically, a look that either gets a woman mistaken for a butch lesbian, or looks like she's trying to audition for a movie role as Joan of Arc. What's a bit ironic is, I kinda developed this taste after learning about Joan of Arc and her tale.
I realized this about myself 2 years ago. I had found this manwha--meaning, Korean comic book--titled "The Knight and Her Emperor." And one of the main characters is a knight named Paulina, whose emperor Lucius has a crush on her. Paulina has boyishly short red hair, is muscular and scarred, and her chest is small. Despite the fact that she presented herself as a man in war (Deuteronomy 22:5 makes it clear this is a sin)--keep in mind her father got her sent to war in hopes of getting her killed so her little sister can inherit the family fortune--I found myself thinking to myself, "Wow, she's kind of...handsome." Not the kind of word you'd use to describe a woman you were attracted to.
I remember late in 2024, there was this butch female cop at my job. Slightly taller than me, short hair, kind of broad body. She even came to my work area in a flannel shirt to get her police uniform. Sadly for me, a few weeks into her employment, she got moved to a different hospital. (Did I mention that I work at a clinic?) I wanted to say something to her, but I was afraid she'd turn out to be a lesbian, as I've accidentally crushed on two lesbians before because they were masculine.
And I found out about this trope in anime called "reverse traps"--referring to female characters who looks (and in many cases acts, sounds, and even dresses) like a male, leading to them being mistaken as male. On one hand, I knew I couldn't condone crossdressing, but on the other hand, their masculine appearances just kind of got to me.
(BTW, this short-haired cutie is from Chainsaw Man.)
For that reason, I'm emotionally conflicted about this anime called "How I Attended An All-Guys Mixer." Basically, the plot is that a college student and two of his friends are invited to a mixer by a female classmates, but the three guys find three handsome men there--or do they? It turns out that the three "men" are actually women crossdressing for their jobs. At first, our male trio isn't sure how to react, but they find themselves getting close to these girls.
I don't know if I can watch the anime because it involves and condones crossdressing, but the revelation that those three handsome men are actually women made me feel attracted. Well, not to them per se, but due to their short hair. I just appreciated their short hair and lack of a visible bust while they were disguised.
I need genuine advice--especially from more mature brothers and sisters in Christ. Is an attraction to androgynous women as a man ungodly in any way, shape, or form? And am I lusting? Explain how. This is driving me crazy today.
Last edited: