Is it right to go to church to meet women?

[JimiLaRue]

I never have done it. However alot of my family suggest I do so. I have stopped going to church since I turned 18. I started back for a couple months when I moved to austin, texas. I quit going soon after that. However I want to go back now and I also want to find a wife from the church. Is it wrong to go too church and talk to women? If it is wrong where do I go to find a good woman at? I'm tired of women at clubs and partys. I've really never had a problem getting women, just a problem getting a woman I want to have a family with. All my other siblings are married with children and I am the only one that hasnt really came close to that. It's time for me to settle down and I want to find a lady of god.

 

[2scoops]

The purpose of going to church is to worship God. That should be your intention of going to church. It is not wrong to talk to women though. That is a good place to find a good christian woman. But if finding that woman takes place over God than it is wrong. Concentrate on your relationship with Christ first and the other things will fall into place. Maybe read Deutoronomy 28.

 

[Bryan Lim]

Uh, i think it is kinda unethical to find a spouse in a church. Same like establishing a relationship in your workplace. Going to church is to worship God and all NOT to find a wife/husband. Perhaps, you should keep that at WalMart?

 

[JimiLaRue]

Uh, i think it is kinda unethical to find a spouse in a church. Same like establishing a relationship in your workplace. Going to church is to worship God and all NOT to find a wife/husband. Perhaps, you should keep that at WalMart?

Interesting point. However many people meet there spouses at work. Because they have gotten to know them more indepth than say meeting someone at walmart. Thanks for your replys.

 

[TriptychR]

Uh, i think it is kinda unethical to find a spouse in a church. Same like establishing a relationship in your workplace. Going to church is to worship God and all NOT to find a wife/husband. Perhaps, you should keep that at WalMart?

But going to WalMart is only to shop, isn't it? There is no designated place to look for a relationship other than a singles bar, and you likely don't want to go to one of those. I do agree that church is not the place to, say, ask someone out. It would be best to establish such things outside and not on church time. However, if you are using "meet" in the sense of talking to girls and just getting to know them, I don't see a problem with that. Isn't that what we call "fellowship?"

But, like 2scoops said, do not make a potential relationship the reason why you talk to these girls in the first place. You don't want to even think about going out with a girl until you know them, right? Then your first intention should be knowing these girls just the same as the rest of your church family. Later, if it's God's will, then something might progress from there. Either way, don't pass up the chance to get to know godly girls!

(That was almost a tongue twister...)

 

[RadG]

I agree with TriptychR, I suggest that when looking for a church however look for one with a good singles group with other singles your age, then get to know and develop friendships within the group. Then if God has your potential mate in that group have the faith that He will bring you together, but always keep God first especially while at Church, just like keeping work first while at work.

 

[Brittany108]

Just curious . . .why did you stop going to church in the first place?

 

[Xen_Antares]

I agree with TriptychR, I suggest that when looking for a church however look for one with a good singles group with other singles your age, then get to know and develop friendships within the group. Then if God has your potential mate in that group have the faith that He will bring you together, but always keep God first especially while at Church, just like keeping work first while at work.

Ive been to singles groups that dont like males mingling with females. When I was stationed in Arkansas I went to this huge church with alot of people, the singles group was huge and I was generally excited. Surely I could possibly meet a good Christian girl here, develop a friendship and God willing more. I foolishly thought the church should try to help Christian females hook up with Christian males. This church did not like this idea too much. The person who thought of the set up for this singles group wasnt exactly the sharpets knife in the drawer.

First off there were a lot of married people there, I mean alot, they had their spouses. What are married people doing in a singles group? Rubbing it in? Look I found my spouse hehe. I didnt understand it, I still dont.

Secondly they had single males sit on one side of the church, single women sit on the other and the married to sit between the two sexes. Again I dont understand this concept. They called it a singles group, what kind of cultist **** is this then? You will not speak with the opposite sex until our great leader says so. (Ok so they didnt say that, might as well should have though, they were strict on inter-gender mingling)

When I launched a complaint to a friend, a church official overheard and was none too pleased. You would have thought I denied the holocaust or something, it wasnt pretty. She took me to the side and forcefully attempted to explain the retardedness of thier logic.

Their logic was some of the girls had broken up with or just got out of bad relationships and needed a place to go and not "get hit on" and if I was there to "pick up women" then I had my priorities wrong.

They made an enemy of the wrong person. Where I understand the need to give those girls who dont want to be hit on a place to go and worship, I dont understand why they had to hijack the singles group to do this. Why not start a worship group on another night. I can be stubborn as a mule, and since I felt humiliated, I thought, perhaps wrongly, one good turn deserves another. I found another church and spent a good bit of time talking people who just got to the base out of going to that church and to the one I was going to, considering people had to come and see me to in process, I had a good bit of influence at my squadron.

Ive gotten to the point where I dont trust churches with relationships, or anything for that matter. So, whereever, whenever the girl that seems right comes along Ill have my eyes peeled and fingers crossed.

 

[fishstix]

If meeting women is the only reason you would go to church, yeah that's a problem. I think it's great if you happen to meet your future spouse in church but that possibility shouldn't be the thing motivating you to go to church in the first place. You said that you want to find a lady of God. Well, you'd better go about becoming a man of God first, with your eyes focussed on Him. Seek God first and then He'll add other good stuff later You may very well meet the woman for you in church, but chances are it will be when you aren't even looking for her.

I foolishly thought the church should try to help Christian females hook up with Christian males. This church did not like this idea too much.

I'd actually agree with the church on that point. I don't think it's that matchmaking is something a church should be doing. If my church started actively trying to put couples together I would leave because I don't like it when other people start interfering with personal lives like that.

First off there were a lot of married people there, I mean alot, they had their spouses. What are married people doing in a singles group? Rubbing it in? Look I found my spouse hehe. I didnt understand it, I still dont.

Was it a singles group or a young adults group?

Secondly they had single males sit on one side of the church, single women sit on the other and the married to sit between the two sexes. Again I dont understand this concept. They called it a singles group, what kind of cultist **** is this then? You will not speak with the opposite sex until our great leader says so. (Ok so they didnt say that, might as well should have though, they were strict on inter-gender mingling)

I'll agree with you that I would feel pretty uncomfortable in that kind of setting. I know that there are some denominations that separate men and women during worship all the time, but if it isn't one of those then I think that is kind of strange.

Their logic was some of the girls had broken up with or just got out of bad relationships and needed a place to go and not "get hit on" and if I was there to "pick up women" then I had my priorities wrong.

They made an enemy of the wrong person. Where I understand the need to give those girls who dont want to be hit on a place to go and worship, I dont understand why they had to hijack the singles group to do this. Why not start a worship group on another night. I can be stubborn as a mule, and since I felt humiliated, I thought, perhaps wrongly, one good turn deserves another. I found another church and spent a good bit of time talking people who just got to the base out of going to that church and to the one I was going to, considering people had to come and see me to in process, I had a good bit of influence at my squadron.

If I was in charge I would probably have a women's group in addition to the single's group if giving the women a male-free zone was a concern. And if I found myself in a church like you described I would probably have left as well.

 

[skaaat]

I think getting involved in a church community is a great way to meet women/men, I don't see any problem with that at all.

 

[Xen_Antares]

Was it a singles group or a young adults group?

They said it was a singles group. The banner on top of the podium proudly proclaimed Tuesday Night Singles (or was it Thursday? That was 1999 so I dont remember too well) Group and gave the time.

I'll agree with you that I would feel pretty uncomfortable in that kind of setting. I know that there are some denominations that separate men and women during worship all the time, but if it isn't one of those then I think that is kind of strange.

It was Baptist if memory serves me correctly, men and women sat together at the services that much I remember. And they had no problems with the marrieds sitting together.

f I was in charge I would probably have a women's group in addition to the single's group if giving the women a male-free zone was a concern. And if I found myself in a church like you described I would probably have left as well.

Thats what makes sense, so its the one route they didnt take

 

[mina]

I personally think it's weird. Lot's of people do it. I hate going to church and feeling like a piece of meat though. My singles group is weird because most of the guys there are just there to find someone, but do nothing to improve themselfs or become Godly men. So a lot of the girls, including myself, are turned off because a lot of us want to be Godly women and don't want to follow a man that doesn't really share our beliefs or devotion. A guy doesn't have to be perfect but should have some standard of Christ in his life, some fruit that he's living for the Lord. That is what I find attractive and what draws me to a guy. I rarely do social things with the singles group anymore because it makes me feel weird. This girl i work with is always telling me to never find a man in church because that's where the worst sinners are, lol. Maybe there's some truth in that, lol. Anyways I think it's more important to go to church for the reason of worshiping and serving God and if God happens to lead you to someone as you serve Him then it's a very very good thing. But no, I don't think that hooking up should be the main and sole reason for going to church.

 

[Tenorvoice]

Hey if the Family reunion isn't working fer ya, why not the church functions??

No seriously, The main purpose for attending church is to worship God the Father and to give Him the Glory and Honor that He deserves. Now as for church functions, ie.~sunday school get togethers, homecomings, or anything of that matter then it would be find I would think to meet women/men. Since we are to be looking for a Christian spouse were better to look??

 

[PetraFan007]

I highly disagree that church is not a place to find a woman. Yes, worshipping God comes first but I also believe the church SHOULD be a great place to find a godly woman BECAUSE IT SHOULD ALSO be a place of fellowship.

 

[PetraFan007]

I agree Tenor. I also believe the church has been brainwashed to believe that dating within the church is "bad" and "evil". I find that bull. I also cannot believe that women would not also go there too look for a godly man too. If you feel like a piece of meat, sorry...you're gonna feel like one anywhere you go if you are attractive, have a great personality and are single.

 

[fishstix]

If you feel like a piece of meat, sorry...you're gonna feel like one anywhere you go if you are attractive, have a great personality and are single.

Conclusion: Gain 50 pounds, dress like a slob or act like a jerk and you won't have to worry about getting hit on

 

[Xen_Antares]

Conclusion: Gain 50 pounds, dress like a slob or act like a jerk and you won't have to worry about getting hit on

Nope some guys like that

 

[Paul 888]

If you want a Christian girl,....... where else are you going to find one?????

of course it is going to be in Church.... simple mathematics 90% girls in Church are Christian.... about 2% of the general public is

for those of you saying you shouldn't look in Church..... where would you look instead??? surely you don't expect God to provide you with the perfect partner whilst you sit in the living room at home???

 

[Xen_Antares]

People arent saying you shouldnt look in church, just it shouldnt be your primary reason for going to church. Of course there are church sponsored activities that can help let the singles mingle and get to know one another, thats a whole different ball game.

 

[RadG]

Ive been to singles groups that dont like males mingling with females. When I was stationed in Arkansas I went to this huge church with alot of people, the singles group was huge and I was generally excited. Surely I could possibly meet a good Christian girl here, develop a friendship and God willing more. I foolishly thought the church should try to help Christian females hook up with Christian males. This church did not like this idea too much. The person who thought of the set up for this singles group wasnt exactly the sharpets knife in the drawer.

First off there were a lot of married people there, I mean alot, they had their spouses. What are married people doing in a singles group? Rubbing it in? Look I found my spouse hehe. I didnt understand it, I still dont.

The main reason for a singles group is not to bring males and females together (be a Christian Singles Bar) it is to help singles have fellowship and worship and remind them of God's promises. The singles groups I am involved in I go for the fellowship and worship, I am not specifically looking for a future mate when I go.

Secondly they had single males sit on one side of the church, single women sit on the other and the married to sit between the two sexes. Again I dont understand this concept. They called it a singles group, what kind of cultist **** is this then? You will not speak with the opposite sex until our great leader says so. (Ok so they didnt say that, might as well should have though, they were strict on inter-gender mingling)

When I launched a complaint to a friend, a church official overheard and was none too pleased. You would have thought I denied the holocaust or something, it wasnt pretty. She took me to the side and forcefully attempted to explain the retardedness of thier logic.

Their logic was some of the girls had broken up with or just got out of bad relationships and needed a place to go and not "get hit on" and if I was there to "pick up women" then I had my priorities wrong.

I can somewhat agree with the lady about your priorities, if you were there to just pick up women then you were in the wrong place, that is not the reason for church, or at least I have not seen it writen anywhere in the Bible that the church should be a Christian Singles Bar. I however do not agree with their funny seating arangement or even allowing married couples in the group unless they were leadership (the singles pastor(s)). But this is because you should never try to hit on a girl at church, start a friendship with her first then if God willing He will make it into something more.

RadG