is it ok for a christian couple to kiss and hug?

[NewUser777]

So I have left home and united myself with a woman, does that mean we are married?

No. In the back of your mind, and hers, is the notion that "We aren't really married. If something goes wrong, I will just bail. And if something hotter comes along, and I want a little thrill, what's to stop me? After all, we aren't really married."

No, you aren't married.

 

[parsley]

I am still looking for a bible verse that says what marriage actually is.

You might enjoy getting more background of Jewish culture from the JewishEncyclopedia-- it helps fill in historical gaps of assumptions made when the scriptures were written.

There was a cultural progression of practices -- obviously the Adam and Eve story would have no wedding planners, bridesmaid gowns and choice of ministers. Some of the earlier stories use terms like "took a wife," using words that could either mean woman or spouse.

Historically marriage has been a public declaration of commitment.
The decision to join in partnership legally placed property and family-- as well as responsibility for debts, crimes, sickness, children's actions-- into the hands of both partners and both families.

The institute of marriage also offsets more spontaneous actions and makes a clearer distinction between rape/coercion and willing consent. Try to picture a society without any marriage at all. Where children would live, how property would be exchanged...those sorts of things would need to change.

 

[fuji]

No. In the back of your mind, and hers, is the notion that "We aren't really married. If something goes wrong, I will just bail. And if something hotter comes along, and I want a little thrill, what's to stop me? After all, we aren't really married."

No, you aren't married.

I ask for verses you give me personal feelings.

 

[Pal Handy]

I ask for verses you give me personal feelings.

God made marriage in the beginning, not man.
Genesis 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and
be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Jesus speaking...(your savior and Lord)
Mark 10:7
But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’
‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.
Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Matthew 19:5
4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He
who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’
and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be
joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?So then, they
are no longer two but one flesh.
Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Wife: noun 1. a woman joined in marriage to a man; a woman considered in relation to her husband; spouse

 

[Leonfrost]

This is downright foolish. This entire argument hinges upon the principle that premarital sex is indeed what each and every verse on this topic is referring to, which it is not. And Pal, your verse refers to divorce. Don't take verses out of context, please. There's enough confusion in the Christian community already.

Anyway, the word commonly used to mean fornication SHOULD mean sexual immorality, porneia. Fornication comes from fornix, which refers to the type of building that functioned as a brothel in that time period. Sexual immorality refers to adultery and fornication, and the latter word, fornication, refers NOT to premarital sex, but to sex with a prostitute.

AND if you were to take it one step further, fornication was in and of itself a mistranslation. Older translations use the more appropriate word "whoremongering." Sex with a prostitute. The use of the beautiful act God designed for two LOVING PARTNERS (notice I didn't use the term married partners) to make money, not to honor God.

Now, let's watch and see which outcome takes place here: Will dozens of people leap down my throat in anger for my "heresy," or will this post simply be ignored?

Oh, and Truthseeker? Do you need to be reminded that we are not to judge by outward appearance? You're being awfully bigoted against her "gothic" apparel.

 

[NewUser777]

I ask for verses you give me personal feelings.

You don't need a verse. You have the law, if you're an American. You aren't married until someone qualified marries you.

No, you aren't married.

 

[Leonfrost]

There is SUCH hostility and denial here. Folks who have been bathed in the false doctrines and mistranslations their entire lives will sooner be angered than be swayed. It's a conditioned response, and I can't see anything changing those minds.

There is a verse that was brought up in a recent post here, but I'm uncertain which verse it was: If anyone could cite it, that would be wonderful. I want to say it was in Romans, but I'm not quite sure off-hand.

Anyway, it says that God will allow us to believe what we wish to, if we would rather believe it than believe the truth. He will not intercede for us in our ignorance, will not work his miracles to change our minds on a matter, until we sincerely ask Him for understanding.

And I believe that is what has happened here, in the past several centuries, and that is the reason so many people preach false doctrines based on biblical mistranslation.

If you pray to God to help you understand the truth of his word, He will lead you to that truth. Ask and ye shall receive. But continue to accept contrary points as His word, and God will not change your mind on the matter. Rather, He will allow you to continue in your belief, still loving you, still forgiving you, but letting you make your own mistakes for your own choice of belief.

 

[Larry Mondello]

Without getting into the debate on marriage, biblical or otherwise, lemmee say premarital or extra-marital sex is wrong, I do believe.

However, that doesn't mean I didn't succumb to the temptation.

As posted, had sex in HS @17-18 3-4X with same girl before I became of faith a year later in college.

Deeply regret that HS sex but didn't have any kind of sex (or any kissing, hugs, etc.) until 2 casual incidents @25-26, one with a Christian woman.
After that, only a little "everything...but" with a non-religious virgin and non-virgin never-married older Christian lady before met my future wife @30.

Recently "apologized" to that HS GF for my wrongful actions.
Nearly 30 years later, you'd think I wouldn't have felt that need to say I was sorry for not being the man I should have been toward her.
And not be so stupid to apologize to her today.

Reading her Facebook page (we're NOT facebook friends), see she's big into Catholicism, returning prayer to schools, etc. (which I agree with), so figured forgiveness would be understandable.

Nope. Got a very terse response.
She asked me to never contact her again.

Many people don't consider sex outside of marriage (or a committed relationship) wrong. But many do.
Many who consider it wrong (in their heart) still fall to it bec. sexual desire is a strong drive.

Have had it both ways. Let me tell you that you will never forget who you had sex with.
I vividly remember the faces of the three women I had sex with before I met my future wife.

From experience can tell you
..... it's sooooooooooo much better to ML --- where you put your heart, soul and passion into the other --- vs. just having sex.
You need to understand the difference.

 

[Larry Mondello]

On the kissing before marriage/ engagement, I tend to agree with the other posters here that you shouldn't go too passionate.
Maybe a passionate one once in a while, while on the couch or something, but don't let your hands stray, guys....

Again, talkin' from experience....

One Christian woman I dated in my mid-20s, she only gave me "light pecks," and they were too quick at that.
I always wanted to more and longer kisses, but it was hard to get that.
TBH, it made me want her more, so there's some "mystery" or attraction there you gals need to consider.
Don't always be "so easy" to give those kisses.

Those of you who have fallen in premarital sex, methinks God understands all of this.

Not justifying premarital sex, but remember, He was temped "in every way...."

This is especially important for those singles who find themselves in their late 20s, 30s and 40s who haven't had much relationship success and feel they've "missed out" on some things, so they give-in to the one they're dating and find themselves in a sexual relationship.
Please don't beat yourself up about that.
While it's not to be condoned or encouraged (I would never recommend anyone get involved in sexual sin), it's a normal part of life. Learn from your mistakes, ask for forgiveness and try to move on.

 

[FreeinChrist]

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[ChrisHolland619]

I think that kissing on the lips is fine, as long as it's not a 5 minute makeout session. That turns into lust and sinnful thinking. Anyone who denies this is letting Satan deceive you.

That being said, I think that if you can control it through help from God, and prayer, then yes it's fine. As long as that kiss doesn't turn into something greater.

 

[simplemessenger]

I'm just wondering we wont have sex or anything.

"Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband" - 1 Cor 7:1-2

One reason why The Lord GOD gives these sort of commands, for [FONT=&quot]“All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.” -[/FONT][FONT=&quot]2 Timothy 3:16-17. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]is that doing a little, which we ought not, will often lead to more, because the flesh is weak.

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Steer clear friend until marriage. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]