I need help. I don't know if I can continue being Christian any longer :(

[Jo555]

Just adding to my former input, and the rest here

It's important to remember the devil is a liar. Jesus said he is the father of lies and there is no truth in him. It doesn't help when are minds are unrenewed in the area we are being attacked in.

Never make an agreement with a lie. Learn what God has to say about you and let his Spirit make it alive in you.

Here is some music that may help you see there is hope and we all, in one way or another, travel down the road of our faith being built up.

May help to play them when you feel an attack coming on, and don't be afraid to reach out for outside help if you need it, just don't turn you back on the Answer because you and your circumstances are no surprise to Him and He wants to get you through this.

 

[Jo555]

Jellyroll spent time in prison for dealing drugs and other things, but crossed over to the other side. He now is dedicated to help others that were like him.

Don't wait to hit rock bottom. God takes you where you are at. Just be open and honest.

I had a friend who told me he used to do mushrooms when he was younger. It made him hallucinate and paranoid, and even when he stopped to join the military, the side effects continued. Ruined his military life, and he ended up in a mental hospital.

Now he is happily married with children, good career in a field he loved, and continues to love the Lord.

Another that may help:

 

[Jo555]

And love to play this one when my faith needs a boost. Love Jason Upton.

 

[Jo555]

One more to help you combat the liar.

 

[Jermayn]

TW: MENTION OF DRUGS AND SUICIDE
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-I feel like I can't be a Christian anymore :'( :'( The reason why is because I started doing marijuana vapes for pain and anxiety relief, which turned into me doing mushroom gummies. Now I'm addicted to getting high. Yes I done this as a Christian, but now I feel like I can't stop. I've spent so much money on vapes and gummies only to throw them away, vowing to never touch them again, knowing they gave me seizures, extreme paranoia, and hallucinations. My absolute go tos are the mushroom gummies. They made me feel amazing at first, but then I lost all control over my body, convulsing and screaming for help. It was terrifying. But apparently I'm wanting more. I almost have panic attacks daily because I want to get high. But I know it's breaking the Lord's heart. I don't want to do this, I love Jesus. He is my friend and I'm being a terrible friend. I never should've gotten involved with anything related to marijuana. I'm not against cbd or medical marijuana, I'm against recreational use which is exactly what I struggle with. I've never had this problem before, never. Even when I wasn't saved I never done drugs. Now it's like all I want. I'm tempted and have urges everyday and I don't want it anymore. I want Jesus to take this away completely. I'm on the verge of ending my life because of it. I literally pray and ask God to help me or kill me before I do it myself. I don't want to do that though, I want Jesus. I love Jesus, how can I do this to him? How?? How can I choose to sin and still have a relationship with him? What do I do? Also, my family swears up and down I'm not addicted, but I can't stop and am thinking of suicide everyday if I don't get high. I don't want to get high though! I want Jesus

Hope things are going better for you @Animelover93. Did you find help with?