How to become a good wife

[Glorianna]

I have been researching how I can become the best wife to my future husband and am interested in knowing what you guys think. He deserves the very best and I want to make him incredibly happy. Anything you have to say on this topic as well as any resources you can suggest that will help are greatly appreciated.

 

[Jaegang72]

The answer to your question is actually beyond the scope that you are considering.

You are saying what things can you do or become to make your husband happy.
But I say to you the answer lies not in yourself but in the guy you are going to marry. When the male has the neccessary husband traits/quality, you cant help but be this good wife ( as long as you are keen to be so )

Let me give you examples. A good wife is to submit to her husband... To respect her husband.
Now if the husband is a drunken lout or goes on computer to watch porn 24/7 or puts his work and money above you or abuses you..... then how hard is it to respect the husband or to submit to your husband.

Sister, the secret lies in finding the right husband. Just you saying that you want to be a good wife is 90 percent of battle won on your part.

Find a husband who will spread his garment over you to protect you physically, spiritually and emotionally and you cant help but respond to be the right wife if you have the right heart ... as you do already.

bye!

 

[FaithfulServant]

Sister, the secret lies in finding the right husband.

Ahh, if only there were some secret chant I could say, and the "right" husband would magically appear in front of my eyes!

 

[desi]

Proverbs chapter 31.

 

[JVD]

Jaegang72's advice is extremely good. Likely the best advice you are going to get.

Many young women think that they can grab a guy in whom they see a few good traits and by their good behavior and treatment make him into the perfect husband. Sorry...that will NOT work.

Find the perfect husband by getting to know him...but more importantly, getting to know his family. What are his parents like, his sisters etc. That will give you a lot of background.

No one is perfect, but go into relationships with a lot of caution beforehand to prevent a lot of pain in the future.

 

[IslandBreeze]

I would highly recommend Dr. Laura's book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." It's an excellent read and takes you right into the heart and minds of men.

 

[bliz]

To be a good wife, select your husband very carefully.

Jaegang72's advice is very good. Look for a man you can respect. Our culture talks about a man who has earning power, who has good looks, who turns you on... You feel that he deserves the very best... well, so do you! But if you do not respect him, his judgement, if you do not see fruits of the Spirit in his life, being a good wife is going to be very, very difficult.

 

[SirKenin]

Finding the right husband is good advice. You need to find someone who you can love for the way that he is, without expecting to change him.

Being a good wife should NEVER be dependent on the actions and qualities of your husband, rather independent.

From reading your post I get the feeling that we are to assume that you already found someone that you feel meets your criteria, and now you just want to do your part.

The best way to do that is to read through Proverbs, especially 31:10-31 and Ephesians 5:21-24. What you will find there is descriptions of what a wife should and should NOT be. A good wife is not argumentative (It is better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a house with an argumentative wife).. A good wife is submissive.. A good wife speaks with wisdom and instruction.

There are a lot of qualities of a good wife as outlined in the Bible. Therein lies the answer to your quest.

 

[Ashlynn]

Sister, the secret lies in finding the right husband. Just you saying that you want to be a good wife is 90 percent of battle won on your part.

Find a husband who will spread his garment over you to protect you physically, spiritually and emotionally and you cant help but respond to be the right wife if you have the right heart ... as you do already.

I agree- if you find the right husband you are already the best wife. And in saying that I am not putting all of the responsibilities on the man you will marry- marriage is a partnership- you are to work together. If he finds the right wife he too will be the best husband.

You have already been instructed to rad the duties of a good wife, but complete the circle and also read the dutites of a good husband. You'll not only know what to be, but also what to look for.

 

[Iggster]

Proverbs chapter 31.

Desi always beats me to it..........Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr It's what I would want, or any God fearing man for that matter.

 

[Jaegang72]

Just about the proverbs 31 woman. It is widely quoted and often used as a super standard for women to be.

However the proverbs 31 woman is only but half the equation. She is probverbs 31 woman because she has proverbs 31 man providing spiritual , emotional and physical leadership ie like Christ to the church.

Now, if the man beats her up ... stops her from working outside the home because he is threatened by her independence ... if he visits brothels and not cherish her ... lazes around and not work but waits on welfare each month. Question is will she still be the proverbs 31 woman?

She will be another type of woman. Yes, she be an afflicted wife, not very confident , prayerful to God to help her and her situation. Still a good woman. But will she be the proverbs 31 wife? No, she will not because the home situation is paralyzed by the lack in the male who is supposed to reflect the glory of God and provide covering for the household.

Therefore, in a girl's quest to become a proverbs 31 woman, be wary that it is a partnership with a Godly man. So choose a Godly man who is respectable , industrious and cherishes you.
cheers

Bye! again

J

 

[lucypevensie]

The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace. This book is really good.

 

[nuarc]

Is there an The Excellent Husband? Where are all of the how to be a good husband threads? Are the guys asking?

 

[mina]

Just about the proverbs 31 woman. It is widely quoted and often used as a super standard for women to be.

However the proverbs 31 woman is only but half the equation. She is probverbs 31 woman because she has proverbs 31 man providing spiritual , emotional and physical leadership ie like Christ to the church.

Now, if the man beats her up ... stops her from working outside the home because he is threatened by her independence ... if he visits brothels and not cherish her ... lazes around and not work but waits on welfare each month. Question is will she still be the proverbs 31 woman?

She will be another type of woman. Yes, she be an afflicted wife, not very confident , prayerful to God to help her and her situation. Still a good woman. But will she be the proverbs 31 wife? No, she will not because the home situation is paralyzed by the lack in the male who is supposed to reflect the glory of God and provide covering for the household.

Therefore, in a girl's quest to become a proverbs 31 woman, be wary that it is a partnership with a Godly man. So choose a Godly man who is respectable , industrious and cherishes you.
cheers

Bye! again

J

Amen. I totally agree with that. I think that a lot of a wife being "good" or being all that she can be as a wife lies in the protection and leading and responsibility of a husband. A man has a great responsibility in being a Godly husband so that his wife can become the best Godly wife. Godly and committed men and women should seek the same of their spouse before marriage, and then it becomes a beautiful picture of a blessed and happy marriage. I think I read somewhere that no one should consider marriage if they can't submit to God in everything first, because how in the world would they be able to be in proper check about submitting to some human as a husband and wife if they couldn't submit to God.

 

[mobertmacbeth]

I think that there is a book by T.D. Jakes about wives...A friend of mine was going to read it, and she asked our pastor if it was a good book, and he said that it was....I'm sorry that I don't have the exact title for you....I will get it....Shortly...

 

[IslandBreeze]

Is there an The Excellent Husband? Where are all of the how to be a good husband threads? Are the guys asking?

I'd bet a lot of money if more women were asking how to be good wives, no man would ever have to ask how to be a good husband. The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands explains that theory quite well.

 

[Banana Phone]

The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands explains that theory quite well.

Just curious as to what this book is about.

I like pasta, so I suppose that it feeds me properly.

 

[Jenna]

Hey there Banana Phone, come on over to the Marriage Forum and read the thread about the book. It won't tell you everything, but will give a bit of insight as to what the book is about.

 

[Banana Phone]

Hey there Banana Phone, come on over to the Marriage Forum and read the thread about the book. It won't tell you everything, but will give a bit of insight as to what the book is about.

Oakie doakie.

 

[nuarc]

I'd bet a lot of money if more women were asking how to be good wives, no man would ever have to ask how to be a good husband. The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands explains that theory quite well.

I believe that in order for people to be compatible they have to have some common goals or something- Imagine you want a cat, but you get a parrot insetead- no amount of proper care and feeding is going to change that parrot into a cat. That's where all the prayer comes in- people asking God to help them now want a parrot. And changing their behavior to suit their parrot- even though deep down they still want that cat.
If you get a kitten and you properly care for it- it will become a cat.

This is how I see that book. I don't have anything else to say about it. It takes two to tango, Each person must do their part. I don't think it would kill a man to ask how to be a good husband- and there are indeed men who want to know. Would he be wrong for asking?

These are MY thoughts on the book- there are people who love the book and so be it. Not knocking anyone.