How low self-esteem can lead to sin

[JCFantasy23]

I saw that in operation there. In fact, self-hatred was almost considered a virtue:

Luke 14:26 If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple.

John 12:25 He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it to life eternal.

Over the last 30 years I have come to see that these passages were taken out of context (at least to some degree); but I still struggle with that.

Mixing psychology can be a little rough when talking about religion, as the case of your pastor who was a psychologist. Sort of an unusual mixture but the teachings aren't that dissimilar and can be compatible enough. As an example, psychology usually teaches to let go of anger and not hold on to it, to forgive others so you do not carry grudges and bring harm to yourself personally with the heavy rock of a grudge hanging around your neck, to not stay around people who mislead abuse or lead you astray from positivity (in Christianity this is God and spiritual growth)

Our focus should always be God and not "of this world" because we are to be spiritually minded Christians who live for the love of God. We should not value this existence and its short-term pleasures over the bigger picture of eternity with our Creator. Jesus makes it clear in scripture to also honor parents and love our neighbors and fellow Christians. It is hard to love others if you only feel hate for yourself IMO, just as it is hard to see the positive beauty in the world God has blessed us with if we are only filled with negative thinking.

 

[Dave-W]

We may be approaching it differently. I can't agree with the pastor on the issue because I think low self-esteem is dangerous for our emotional, spiritual and perhaps physical development and not what God wants for His children.

I see that now. It degraded into a very controlling atmosphere, with every detail of life being dictated by the elders.

Even now that I have been away from there for over 30 years I still cringe at the idea of self esteem and promotion.

 

[Dave-W]

Jesus makes it clear in scripture to also honor parents and love our neighbors and fellow Christians. It is hard to love others if you only feel hate for yourself IMO, just as it is hard to see the positive beauty in the world God has blessed us with if we are only filled with negative thinking.

Yeah, I agree.

There was not a lot of love or respect for parents in that congregation. At 28, the founding pastor was older than everyone (except 2 people) in that congregation when I first started. The rest of us 400-500 were in our late teens and early 20s.

 

[JCFantasy23]

I see that now. It degraded into a very controlling atmosphere, with every detail of life being dictated by the elders.

Even now that I have been away from there for over 30 years I still cringe at the idea of self esteem and promotion.

I'm sorry about you going through that - it sounds...confusing.

I'm not trying to make this about me and too personal with this post, or be melodramatic, but the best way to say where I'm coming from is to admit that I had a very difficult childhood and teenage years. I had self-esteem issues that were once described as "dangerously low" by medical doctors. This destroyed any potentials I had for friendships and healthy relationships. It also interferred with normal functioning (going to school, trying work). I was a Christian then but got mixed up into all kinds of things I shouldn't in desperations to fill voids and a weakness with my spirit. Thankfully I started seeing a psychological - who was a Christian! - and with her support and God's grace I improved over the years.

Since the self-esteem raised to a relatively normal level, I can now have relationships and be around people. I can relate to them on a positive level and spread positivity and emotion with and for them. I can keep friendships. I can discern now when someone is trying to con or hurt me. I am not weighed down by so much negativity that I cannot see the beauty of the world God has put us in. My relationship with God became filled with less doubts, less delusions, and less anxiety.

I don't think I have a big ego at all. I'm not perfect with humbleness (started a thread about that recently), but the humbleness issue I mainly struggle with is issues with authority other than God. I get moody with my employer if she irritates me and struggle with brief spurts of anger if I don't agree with someone. It's something I'm working on, but I don't think a lower self-esteem would help. If anything, having all those issues for years and becoming so ... passive? back then because I was in a broken state...has now led to having anger issues as an adult because it's like a delayed reaction/buried anger coming up now years later.

 

[JCFantasy23]

Yeah, I agree.

There was not a lot of love or respect for parents in that congregation. At 28, the founding pastor was older than everyone (except 2 people) in that congregation when I first started. The rest of us 400-500 were in our late teens and early 20s.

Wow, that's unusual too, at least in my experience.

Hopefully the group grew healthier with their mindset. It sounds, as I said, kind of confusing to me.

 

[Dave-W]

Wow, that's unusual too, at least in my experience.

Hopefully the group grew healthier with their mindset. It sounds, as I said, kind of confusing to me.

Yeah - it was an odd group.

From what I heard when I left, my homegroup leader was a good friend and he was being groomed to be an elder so he was in on some of their meetings for about 5 years. He said that half of them wanted to promote me to home group leader and the other half wanted to kick me out of the congregation. So nothing ever got done. I had the audacity to do what they taught in the sermons and when that did not line up with how they thought it should go, I went with what they taught rather than what they did. Some found that infuriating.

 

[Mountainmike]

Perhaps Jesus was thinking of those with low self esteem when he said "blessed are the poor in spirit"

The thing about low self esteem as I understand it, and have suffered from it, is a belief that you are worthless, and do not deserve better. If others put you down enough, you start to believe it. Is not the wish for a better telly ( i know, you only used it as a simple example) , an expression of belief you are worth more and deserve better than you have, so you hold yourself in higher esteem than society does ? There is a paradox of self worth in there somewhere.