How do I know if God is calling me to singleness?

[Macchiato]

By singleness I mean to serve God..well.. single.

For me I've been single, many,many years.

Can God give you the gift of singleness even if it's against your desires? Like if you desire to marry and what not.

How would you know you're being called to singleness?

 

[MariaJLM]

I think it's just a gut feeling. Like, I'm single because that's what I feel called to do. I've never had interest in sexual intercourse, child-rearing, and all that other stuff that comes with marriage.

 

[Jonaitis]

What is the Gift of Singleness?

An excerpt:

How can you know if you have the gift of singleness? I don’t meant to be trite, but you can go about it this way: Look at your ring finger. No ring? You’ve got the gift of singleness. Ring? You’ve got the gift of marriage. Christopher Ash summarizes it this way: “I know which ‘gift’ I have by a simple test: if I am married, I have the gift of marriage; if I am not married, I have the gift of being unmarried.” That leaves us with an important implication and application: “My circumstances are God’s gracious gift to me, and I am to learn to accept them from his hand as such.”

 

[Sketcher]

The gift of singleness is hard to pin down. If you have no desire to marry, it's an indicator that you may well have it. If you have a desire to marry, I would suggest looking at why you want to marry, especially given the pros and cons of marriage. Marriage has a lot of cons. It's the people who can look at those cons squarely, and say they still came out ahead by marrying their spouse that are going to do well in marriage.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I don't believe that God actually calls anyone to singleness. It is a personal choice on the part of the believer and He will respect their choice, in the same way that He respected Paul's choice to be single. But just because Paul made a personal choice it doesn't mean that it has to be Christian doctrine for those used in the ministry of the gospel.

A person is no closer to God being single than being married. Every believer has Christ in him. "Christ in you, the hope of glory" (Colossians 1:27). So the concept of being close to or far away from God is not a Christian concept. We can't get any closer to Christ than having Him living right inside of us in the Person of the Holy Spirit.

So, if a person decides to remain single because they think they are more spiritual and receive special advantages from God over and above married people, then they may have selfish motives about it, and God does not support or bless selfishness in any form. But if a person decides to remain single because they can live a life that brings glory to Christ and makes them more available to win lost souls to Christ, then God can support that, because it is totally consistent with His principal mission for mankind.

If a person decides to remain unmarried just because they are not personally interested in the marriage bed or having children, then the motive is principally selfish and not primarily for the glory of Christ or the winning of lost souls. Then the Holy Spirit could come to that person and say, "Who is telling you to remain single?"

It is significant that in churches that teach celibacy as a foundation doctrine for ministers and priests, there is now being revealed widespread child sexual abuse and homosexuality.

The Scripture says that the marriage bed is not defiled (Hebrews 13:4). And He did say that man should not be alone (Genesis 2:18). So, to actually call someone to be single and take away their choice whether they want to be single or married, would be a contradiction to His Word, and the Holy Spirit never contradicts Himself.

 

[MariaJLM]

I don't believe that God actually calls anyone to singleness. It is a personal choice on the part of the believer and He will respect their choice, in the same way that He respected Paul's choice to be single. But just because Paul made a personal choice it doesn't mean that it has to be Christian doctrine for those used in the ministry of the gospel.

A person is no closer to God being single than being married. Every believer has Christ in him. "Christ in you, the hope of glory" (Colossians 1:27). So the concept of being close to or far away from God is not a Christian concept. We can't get any closer to Christ than having Him living right inside of us in the Person of the Holy Spirit.

So, if a person decides to remain single because they think they are more spiritual and receive special advantages from God over and above married people, then they may have selfish motives about it, and God does not support or bless selfishness in any form. But if a person decides to remain single because they can live a life that brings glory to Christ and makes them more available to win lost souls to Christ, then God can support that, because it is totally consistent with His principal mission for mankind.

If a person decides to remain unmarried just because they are not personally interested in the marriage bed or having children, then the motive is principally selfish and not primarily for the glory of Christ or the winning of lost souls. Then the Holy Spirit could come to that person and say, "Who is telling you to remain single?"

It is significant that in churches that teach celibacy as a foundation doctrine for ministers and priests, there is now being revealed widespread child sexual abuse and homosexuality.

The Scripture says that the marriage bed is not defiled (Hebrews 13:4). And He did say that man should not be alone (Genesis 2:18). So, to actually call someone to be single and take away their choice whether they want to be single or married, would be a contradiction to His Word, and the Holy Spirit never contradicts Himself.

Wrong. Some people are genuinely called to be single. That's why Catholicism and Orthodoxy have specific vocations for single people.

 

[Mark Quayle]

By singleness I mean to serve God..well.. single.

For me I've been single, many,many years.

Can God give you the gift of singleness even if it's against your desires? Like if you desire to marry and what not.

How would you know you're being called to singleness?

I've got a bit of a soapbox about this "being called" teaching concerning specifics beyond general obedience and such. It is a tenet of Christianism, not Christianity.

As to your question, though, I like the advice I once heard: Marriage is like the ministry --don't get into it unless you simply have to. (read: driven to). Paul talks about burning, vs being in control of your desire. If it is too much, he seems to say, then marry --it is not sin. But if you can get along without it, it is better, according to him, as the married person is not undivided in their affections.

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

I don't believe that God actually calls anyone to singleness. It is a personal choice on the part of the believer and He will respect their choice, in the same way that He respected Paul's choice to be single. But just because Paul made a personal choice it doesn't mean that it has to be Christian doctrine for those used in the ministry of the gospel.

A person is no closer to God being single than being married. Every believer has Christ in him. "Christ in you, the hope of glory" (Colossians 1:27). So the concept of being close to or far away from God is not a Christian concept. We can't get any closer to Christ than having Him living right inside of us in the Person of the Holy Spirit.

So, if a person decides to remain single because they think they are more spiritual and receive special advantages from God over and above married people, then they may have selfish motives about it, and God does not support or bless selfishness in any form. But if a person decides to remain single because they can live a life that brings glory to Christ and makes them more available to win lost souls to Christ, then God can support that, because it is totally consistent with His principal mission for mankind.

If a person decides to remain unmarried just because they are not personally interested in the marriage bed or having children, then the motive is principally selfish and not primarily for the glory of Christ or the winning of lost souls. Then the Holy Spirit could come to that person and say, "Who is telling you to remain single?"

It is significant that in churches that teach celibacy as a foundation doctrine for ministers and priests, there is now being revealed widespread child sexual abuse and homosexuality.

The Scripture says that the marriage bed is not defiled (Hebrews 13:4). And He did say that man should not be alone (Genesis 2:18). So, to actually call someone to be single and take away their choice whether they want to be single or married, would be a contradiction to His Word, and the Holy Spirit never contradicts Himself.

Just gotta say I agree with Oscarr. If you feel called to be single because someone is telling you to be single, be careful is all. It's no person's place to tell you what to do except God Himself, and really be careful of people claiming to know what God is telling you to do, really. Because if you feel the desire to marry Paul spoke of it being better to marry than to burn with lust.

Also like Sketcher said there really are pros and cons to marriage, so really count the cost like Jesus said to in another parable but I think it can be applied to this situation as well. If you can count the cost and are still willing to marry, so long as you marry someone who is also a believer and that you prayed about and truly believe will be beneficial to you, then by all means I say marry. That is all for now.

 

[Monk Brendan]

One of the traditional signs you are called to be unmarried is never meeting someone who would be a good spouse for you.

 

[Monk Brendan]

Oscarr: I don't believe that God actually calls anyone to singleness.

That's not what the Bible actually says.

St. Paul wrote to the Corinthians, "I wish that all people were as I [unmarried, that is]. But each of has our own gift from God".

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

Probably already been mentioned but it's obvious if you are called to singleness.

Do you want to marry? Do you have feeling for the opposite sex? Do you think of your future wedding? Do you get jealous or envious of couples? Do you hate being alone?

If the answer is yes to even just one of those, then you weren't meant to be single. Single people usually have no interest in a relationship.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Wrong. Some people are genuinely called to be single. That's why Catholicism and Orthodoxy have specific vocations for single people.

There is the question whether it is the Holy Spirit who calls people to be single or is it the church? And what happens if a person who is "called" to be single, falls in love and desires to be married? Does that mean that they would be walking away from their calling? We know that if a Catholic priest wants to be married to the love of his life, he has to leave the priesthood and could be viewed as sinning against God by denying his vow of celibacy.

In my opinion, a person makes the decision to be involved in a ministry of the church that makes it more desirable to be single.

 

[MariaJLM]

There is the question whether it is the Holy Spirit who calls people to be single or is it the church? And what happens if a person who is "called" to be single, falls in love and desires to be married? Does that mean that they would be walking away from their calling? We know that if a Catholic priest wants to be married to the love of his life, he has to leave the priesthood and could be viewed as sinning against God by denying his vow of celibacy.

In my opinion, a person makes the decision to be involved in a ministry of the church that makes it more desirable to be single.

Singleness is undoubtedly a vocation, though. Like, I have no interest in getting married.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Singleness is undoubtedly a vocation, though. Like, I have no interest in getting married.

I wouldn't have a problem with that, and that your chosen vocation should be respected.

 

[Macchiato]

One of the traditional signs you are called to be unmarried is never meeting someone who would be a good spouse for you.

Welp. I guess I'm called then...now the whether I'll andwan that call is a different story.

 

[Macchiato]

Singleness is undoubtedly a vocation, though. Like, I have no interest in getting married.

I want to marry but I strongly doubt I will.

 

[MariaJLM]

I want to marry but I strongly doubt I will.

If I could simply marry for the life-long companionship and skip all the sexual intercourse and having children bits then I would actually consider it. Otherwise, no.

 

[Petros2015]

Do you want to marry? Do you have feeling for the opposite sex? Do you think of your future wedding? Do you get jealous or envious of couples? Do you hate being alone? If the answer is yes to even just one of those, then you weren't meant to be single.

Umm...

How about... do you feel like being in a mature, responsible partnership? Do you like carrying your own weight? Are you a forgiving, caring person? Being needy or having Kardashian wedding dreams does not mean you are called to marry. But growing out of them might mean you are ready.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

If I could simply marry for the life-long companionship and skip all the sexual intercourse and having children bits then I would actually consider it. Otherwise, no.

I just wonder sometimes whether the problems about the sex act comes from the church which often teaches that sex is sinful and fleshly and that it is not conducive to holiness? If a child, educated in church schools has had that sort of thing drummed into them, then it is understandable that sex is repugnant to them.

I wonder if some church people have forgotten God created and designed the sex act for procreation and mutual comfort and pleasure; that between married Christian couples it is actually fun and enjoyable?

Perhaps those who have problems with the idea of their own involvement in sex within marriage might need counselling and "de-programming" from the "brain-washing" they have received because of inaccurate teaching from celibate priests and nuns who may have the same problems themselves.

Not putting anyone down...just sayin'....

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I want to marry but I strongly doubt I will.

"Everything (including marriage) by prayer and supplication, make your requests known to God, and the peace that passes all understanding will keep your heart and mind in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6).

How about: "You have not because you ask not" (James 4:2). And: "Ask and you will receive so that your joy will be full" (Matthew 7:7).

Perhaps having an honest and serious discussion with God about your desire for marriage may open up opportunities for you and make all the difference to your future happiness.