Hey, I'm doubting that there is a God or that the Bible is even the real thing

[Halbhh]

34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

And what's so wonderful is that even this so-wonderful thing is only one so wonderful thing of many He says to you and me in the Gospel of John. And in Matthew, and in Luke and Mark. It's so much better than we expect, and it's that way over and over, even when I'm reading one of the gospels for the 4th or 5th time, it's still....so healing and good for me and life giving, right now. Alive.

There are things, more than a few, in the Gospel of John that are even more wonderful, and no words are enough, and you just have to encounter them.

 

[Ben Rouse]

How much Bible study are you doing?

 

[Maria37]

Not much now, I can't read the bible without getting so much stress. I can't read other things either without getting stressed. And like I said, in case this conversation is going that direction, I don't want to force myself to have faith. and don't tell me 'read the bible cause it's good for you'. That already is forcing myself to have faith

 

[Maria37]

I don't find joy reading the bible either

 

[Maria37]

the one thing that I wanted was 100% absolute certainty that the Bible and God are real. That I don't have to tell myself that they are real, that I would KNOW for a fact that they are real. I cannot put my 100% into something that I have not seen to be real. Hence I expect God to, in His own way, prove to me that He is real. Because I have waited 7 years for an answer. And because I have no idea what should He do in order for me to believe.

 

[Maria37]

and I don't want to just feel Him. That stuff just is not solid

 

[Maria37]

and you can ask what my church teaches, I will answer. Just don't come and say like 'Your church has not done enough to encourage people to read' because that is not helping. Don't turn this into a argument about congregations.

 

[Maria37]

yeah I'm angry, at people who have been telling me to 'not be fooled by other congregations', or 'Just have faith'. And if 'Just have faith' really is the answer, then honestly I don't know what to do. I've told myself not to force faith anymore. I thought that perhaps if I force myself to have faith I will become more faithful. Seems like wishful thinking now. How do I 'just have faith'? Seems like only God can give me faith, and encourage me to make the right decision.

 

[Maria37]

what must I do for God to give me faith?

 

[Maria37]

the one thing that I wanted was 100% absolute certainty that the Bible and God are real. That I don't have to tell myself that they are real, that I would KNOW for a fact that they are real. I cannot put my 100% into something that I have not seen to be real. Hence I expect God to, in His own way, prove to me that He is real. Because I have waited 7 years for an answer. And because I have no idea what should He do in order for me to believe.

I just don't want to be fooled. Really.

 

[Maria37]

Now that its all out, thank you for your replies

 

[Ben Rouse]

I've wondered the same thing quite often. Just judging by your last statements, as I don't know you, I would say that you aren't ready. Not that that is a bad thing. Each person's journey is different and there will be obstacles to overcome, but it is a two way street. You have to be willing to really find the answers yourself. I'm not trying to be condescending by any means. Don't interpret it that way. I thought it was all a load of crap for most of my life. I mocked the idea and thought that everything was created from nothing by pure chance. The more I studied various sciences and secular philosophies the more towards Christ I moved. I read 'On the Origin of Species' first and bounced around with physics and quantum mechanics. The answer I was looking for came painfully slow. It's been about 20 years now. I feel like it was worth the wait. I try to live better, and treat people better. Even though I'm living a more restrictive lifestyle I feel completely liberated. Try not to be angry, but demand answers from God. He will listen and respond if you are sincere. Anyway, I hope you find what you are looking for and I will pray with you.

 

[klutedavid]

what must I do for God to give me faith?

Ask Him.

 

[friend of]

Those who hold fast to the end will receive the crown!

I've told myself not to force faith anymore.

Faith is a gift.

 

[Andy centek]

There is nothing wrong with having doubts or wanting answers to questions.

Christianity is based on historical facts.
So do investigate the claims of Christianity,.
May I suggest looking at the site coldcasechristianity.

 

[Maria37]

Those who hold fast to the end will receive the crown!


Faith is a gift.

then I guess the question would be, have I received it?

 

[Ben Rouse]

Any progress?