Have I committed the unpardonable sin?

[eleos1954]

You Wrote:

ie God can be easily manipulated by Satan to do his evil bidding through false accusations against His people, eg afflict a "sinless" Job with calamities and sicknesses.

I did not state that God was manipulated by Satan. God is never manipulated by Satan (humans are). However, God will at times refrain and will intervene in His time and in the case of Job He did.

Job 1:21


21He said,

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,

And naked I shall return there.

The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away.

Blessed be the name of the LORD.”

God removed his protection (short of death) from Job which then cleared the path for Satan to do dastardly things to Job. He then later restored and multiplied his blessing on Job.

God’s wisdom is beyond mans total understanding. Because God knows the beginning to the end and the end to the beginning, God knew Job would remain faithful and that his story would inspire millions of faithful Christians to persevere in their trials and suffering throughout the ages, trusting on God no matter what. The story also shows just how evil Satan is.

You need to provide another Scripture from elsewhere to backup your "doctrine”

Look at the Apostles and what they went through. Look at the Martyrs and what they went through. Pick whatever scriptures from their trials you want. Could God have stopped all that? Sure. What did he do …. He went through their trials with them.

In the Bible, At times God interveined, at times he did not. In real life sometimes He intervenes sometimes not. He goes through our trials with us.

Also, it is not “my doctrine” …. I study and try diligently to understand what God’s word says. I pray the Holy Spirt will guide me to understand God’s word. It is an never ending, on going process. I learn as I go, knowing that through learning of Gods word my knowledge will be increased (little by little). So my approach is a “thus far” (my understanding at this point in time) …. until it may be revealed to me by further study of Gods Holy word that I mis-understand something. It is a continual growing process.

We are called to study Gods word ourselves else we might be mis-led and to understand the depth of His love for us. You know Him by His character, to have a personal relationship with Him.


Now regarding some of the things you wrote:

You wrote: DEUT.19: = The Law Concerning Witnesses

15 “One witness shall not rise against a man concerning any iniquity or any sin that he commits; by the mouth of two or three witnesses the matter shall be established.

What does this (above) have to do with the story of Job?

You Wrote:

Bear in mind that the sinless Jesus Christ had to suffer on the Cross because of Adam's Original Sin,(ROMANS.5:12, LEV.17:11, HEBREWS.9:22) in order to save God's people from hell. Even if Job was sinless, did his suffering save sinners in a similar way as Jesus.? Ie what blessing do you get from God by believing in the Story of Job as you do.?


The “sinless” in Job was my response to statement that in Job he did not do the “sacrificial ceremony” properly and therefore sinned. My response was in regard to that particular claim. Of course Job was a sinner and sinned in his life for we all do.

I still maintain that Job performing the sacrificial service was not a sin.

With that I did some research in the Jewish encyclopedia and found this:

Voluntary Offerings.

These sacrifices were prescriptive and obligatory; but voluntary burnt offerings might also be made. Some of them are recorded which involved the immolation of a large number of victims (Num. vii.; I Kings viii. 64).

These were the regulations of the Levitical ritual. All of the sacrifices were to be made under priestly auspices; and even when a private offerer killed the victim the main parts of the ceremony were performed by the priests. Yet both before and after the time of Moses the 'olah was offered by laymen without distinction of persons and without restriction as to mode or measure—e.g., Gen. viii. 20, xxii. 2 et seq. (compare xv. 17); I Sam. vi. 14; Amos v. 22; Isa. i. 11; Hosea vi. 6; Job i. 5,


Job’s sons and daughters were preparing themselves for the holy worship of God. Job’s sending and sanctifying his children implies they were required to attend the worship Job led. Even though some were adult children, Job brought all the holy pressure he could to bear on them as he assumed his right to lead them in the worship of God….Job was literally offering offerings for his children ….So, in making burnt offerings for his children, Job was clearly acting as a priest.


My notes: By Job doing this sacrificial service in front of his children he was impressing the iimport of a few things, probably others things as well. To know they are sinners, to know they are in need of a savior, to know the necessity of shedding of blood (which points to Jesus). This was an extremely blessed family and Job wanted make sure his children had their “heart” in the correct place. Job had no way himself to know what was in their heart.

You wrote: Ie what blessing do you get from God by believing in the Story of Job as you do.?

I mainly learned that no matter what horrific circumstance may happened to me to trust in the Lord that he will get me through it. I may not understand what is going on, but not allow my faith and trust in Him to be shaken no matter what.

You wrote: Even if Job was sinless, did his suffering save sinners in a similar way as Jesus.? I never said this. I’d appreciate it if you could please refrain from “assumptions”.

Of course not. Only Jesus can save sinners. He is the way the ONLY way.

You Wrote:

Bear in mind that the sinless Jesus Christ had to suffer on the Cross because of Adam's Original Sin

I know this. All are born into a sinful nature because of the original sin.

Regarding Satan.

The fall of mankind was due to Satans’ lies, which originally he perpetrated in heaven even convincing a third of the angels that they did not need God and many untrue accusations about God. Perpetrated God was selfish, a liar, all kinds of things. Basically, you can be your own God. God is keeping things from you etc.

Perpetrated the same basic lie with Adam and Eve. “you will not surely die”. (basically saying God is lying to you, keeping secrets from you etc).

Because of Gods love, allowing freewill (you can’t have true love without free will) both angels and mankind believed Satan and not God. The result was this fallen world we live in. In a sense, we today have the same choice. Follow Jesus out of love, trust and believe in Him knowing he has the power and the authority to save us from eternal death and deliver us to eternal life. Not by our works but out of our love for Him and that he paid the ultimate penalty on the cross for us.

In Gods wisdom he provided a way through Jesus Christ our Lord before the foundation of the earth that we might be saved through Him. Amen.

Ephesians 1

“3Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms. 4For He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless in His presence. In love 5He predestined us for adoption as His sons through Jesus Christ, according to the good pleasure of His will, 6to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the Beloved One.

The Plan of Salvation through Jesus Christ was already there before creation. We just need to choose Jesus and have Him help us walk in His ways. It is our free choice to follow Him ….. or not.

(Just in case, do not jump to the conclusion that pre-destination meaning that all events have been willed by God, usually with reference to the eventual fate of the individual person. I do not believe that.) He has foreknowledge, he knows what is going to happen.

You wrote: There are intentional sins which aren't forgiven and unintentional(ignorant) sins which can be forgiven.

Mark 3:28-30:

(Jesus speaking)

"Truly I tell you, all sins and blasphemes will be forgiven for the sons of men. But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven, but is guilty of an eternal sin.

About “Satan taking away blessings”

I never said Satan took away Jobs blessings. You did.

The Lord removed His protection. (Read below)

You keep taking what happened in JOB and applying it to other circumstances or many other things. Which is not so. Again we are/were discussing the book of JOB.

Job 1 (conversation between God and Satan)

6Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan also came among them. 7The LORD said to Satan, “From where do you come?” Then Satan answered the LORD and said, “From roaming about on the earth and walking around on it.” 8The LORD said to Satan, “Have you considered My servant Job? For there is no one like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, fearing God and turning away from evil.” 9Then Satan answered the LORD, “Does Job fear God for nothing? 10“Have You not made a hedge about him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. 11“But put forth Your hand now and touch all that he has; he will surely curse You to Your face.” 12Then the LORD said to Satan, “Behold, all that he has is in your power, only do not put forth your hand on him.” So Satan departed from the presence of the LORD.

It says what it says.

You wrote: The Old Covenant or Contract at DEUT.28 & 29 has God promising to bless His people for faithfully keeping His Law or Moses Law. God would be proven a Liar if He permitted Satan to take away His promised and covenanted blessings, just because of Satan's accusation against His people.

This is a completely different topic and using it as such it is taking things out of context. It has to do with with either keeping or breaking covenant with God. Keeping or breaking God’s law.

You Wrote: Did God permit Satan to afflict the Jews with suffering foreign occupation(about 500BC -) because of false accusations by Satan.? Was it not because of their sins and law-breaking.?

This was a historical event. Is there scripture reference in the Bible about this specific event? If so, please provide it.

I would ask that you please try to refrain from “putting words in my mouth” or “what you think I am thinking” or what you think I believe, and also refrain from taking things out of context. I am happy to discuss what my understanding is about on various things. It is not about who is right or wrong …. it is pursuing understanding of Gods word.

Also I think it best we address one thing at a time as much as possible, would you not agree? …. otherwise we end up with long conversation not adequately discussing them properly. Perhaps one question at a time? Plus it is taking so much time.

I tried to address what you brought up, however you brought up so many things I have no idea if I address them all.

God Bless

 

[fat wee robin]

Hello all,

I have already shared my story on this forum somewhere about a year ago. I'm still stuck in the same predicament and I've been wondering if I have committed the unpardonable sin. To summarize my story: I was depressed, as an atheist, around the later part of 2015. Then I prayed, because I was so desperate and my prayer was answered. I found God and I learned what the Holy Spirit was and what It did in my life. I had really never felt better than ever before, it felt as if I became a new human being. I started walking,talking, thinking and doing everything in a new way. I was so happy that I found God and wanted to become a better person after He'd shown me that I was a great sinner before.

Then I started backsliding, severely, and ignoring the revelations and guidance of the Holy Spirit. I didn't want to do certain things that God wanted me to do, because that meant giving up on sin. So I started to love sin again and was a great partaker in it. I kept doing this until my mind got, what I believe is called 'reprobated'. Emotionally flat, no interest in anything, mentally turned inwards and hella confused, concentration and sleeping problems. Summarized: I have nothing left to live for, I don't even love my closest family anymore.

Life is so hard right now and I can't take it much longer. All of this writing doesn't come from actual despair, I don't feel anything at all. I don't even seem to care about God and my past sins anymore, my conscience is seared and it doesn't stop.

I quit smoking weed and drinking alcohol 3 weeks ago , but it hasn't changed anything for me. Hebrews 6 4-6 isn't even bothering me anymore even though I know I fit the picture and I certainly can't be returned to a repentant state. I have rejected the gift of salvation and I'm therefor hellbound. I even saw a part of me slipping into a great red wall of fire when I was on a shrooms trip áfter I had lost the Holy Spirit or close to the end of losing It and I actually felt the heat for a brief moment. I took these shrooms because I wanted to get another revelation. I heard my parents cry that I was gone and then saw that part of me sinking in a pit of fire. I was ungrateful, only loved sin after I had been born again and I'm a terrible person.

Also, there is no actual hatred of self anymore, I don't have to 'forgive myself',because I don't even feel that there's something to forgive. As if I have forgotten about everything I've done in the past. My mind is a mess.
So my question is: Can I fix this situation or am I done here and should I just accept my fate?

Galnaros ,praying for you, and hoping that you have found some real spiritual help and guidance .

 

[ViaCrucis]

If you are worried that you may have committed the unpardonable sin, then you haven't. The nearly universal consensus in Christian thinking is that the unpardonable sin, "blasphemy against the Holy Spirit" refers to the insistent, total rejection of what God has done in and through Jesus. It is a life-long conscious rejection of God's forgiveness, grace, and love. It is to consciously deny the working of the Spirit to bring you faith, to deliver to you the mercy of God which is in Jesus--etc. The reason why the sin is "unpardonable" isn't because God is unable or unwilling to pardon, but because the one who commits it refuses God's forgiveness in such a total, conscious, and permanent way.

A person who is worried that they may have committed it, hasn't; because if they are even remotely concerned about such a thing then they haven't utterly refused God's mercy, and the Holy Spirit is in reality active and present working on them and they are sensitive to His work as they, in fact, care about such things--and that can only be true if they have faith--even if it is only the smallest mustard seed sized faith.

-CryptoLutheran

 

[Romansthruphilemon]

Hello all,

I have already shared my story on this forum somewhere about a year ago. I'm still stuck in the same predicament and I've been wondering if I have committed the unpardonable sin. To summarize my story: I was depressed, as an atheist, around the later part of 2015. Then I prayed, because I was so desperate and my prayer was answered. I found God and I learned what the Holy Spirit was and what It did in my life. I had really never felt better than ever before, it felt as if I became a new human being. I started walking,talking, thinking and doing everything in a new way. I was so happy that I found God and wanted to become a better person after He'd shown me that I was a great sinner before.

Then I started backsliding, severely, and ignoring the revelations and guidance of the Holy Spirit. I didn't want to do certain things that God wanted me to do, because that meant giving up on sin. So I started to love sin again and was a great partaker in it. I kept doing this until my mind got, what I believe is called 'reprobated'. Emotionally flat, no interest in anything, mentally turned inwards and hella confused, concentration and sleeping problems. Summarized: I have nothing left to live for, I don't even love my closest family anymore.

Life is so hard right now and I can't take it much longer. All of this writing doesn't come from actual despair, I don't feel anything at all. I don't even seem to care about God and my past sins anymore, my conscience is seared and it doesn't stop.

I quit smoking weed and drinking alcohol 3 weeks ago , but it hasn't changed anything for me. Hebrews 6 4-6 isn't even bothering me anymore even though I know I fit the picture and I certainly can't be returned to a repentant state. I have rejected the gift of salvation and I'm therefor hellbound. I even saw a part of me slipping into a great red wall of fire when I was on a shrooms trip áfter I had lost the Holy Spirit or close to the end of losing It and I actually felt the heat for a brief moment. I took these shrooms because I wanted to get another revelation. I heard my parents cry that I was gone and then saw that part of me sinking in a pit of fire. I was ungrateful, only loved sin after I had been born again and I'm a terrible person.

Also, there is no actual hatred of self anymore, I don't have to 'forgive myself',because I don't even feel that there's something to forgive. As if I have forgotten about everything I've done in the past. My mind is a mess.
So my question is: Can I fix this situation or am I done here and should I just accept my fate?

I think most of your problems are because you feel your acceptance with God is based on your performance. Your acceptance is not based on your performance, it's based on wether you have faith in the finished cross work of Christ. He has done it all, you just have to trust that and rest.

Teachers that you may have listened to in the past are not rightly dividing the word of truth and have probably instilled in you a belief that your acceptance is based on your performance, how well you have repented. You need to become an expert on grace and rightly dividing. When you get outside the doctrine in Romans through Philemon, Paul's letters, you are reading about Israel's doctrine. There are things you can learn there but for doctrine specifically to you concentrate on Romans through Philemon.

Here are a few verses that you should commit to memory:

2 Corinthians 5:19 To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.

Romans 4:5 But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness.

Acts 16:30, 31 And they brought them out, and said, Sirs, what must I do to be saved? And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house.

Some YouTube teachers that teach grace and right division that you should check out are: Renee Roland, Truth Time Radio, and
butnowministry.

 

[Romansthruphilemon]

Here is a good video about repentance.

 

[Galnaros]

Hi guys,

I met the minister of the evangelic church last sunday and he says that I'm going to be just fine. I just have to 'renew' the way I think and then things will be alright. The only problem is: I can't fix my mind on my own because I don't have any control over it anymore. They prayed for me and I even got rebaptized but things haven't changed since then. I know it might be too early to notice any changes after these past events, but I'm really getting more tired of this life and death is around the corner.
I really need a miracle to happen to me and I was thinking about something recently: psilocybin mushrooms. I heard that they are able to 'reset' the brain and remove emotional blockages and depressiveness and such. When I am off the crappy big-pharma meds I'm going to try a good dose of those mushrooms just to find out if they could restore my mental well-being. I've got nothing to lose as you might concluded from my first post.
I was wondering if there are any people on this forum who know something about the corrolation between spirituality and those 'magic' mushrooms which are getting more and more popular to treat mental issues these days. I found an interesting video on this topic:

 

[discipler7]

The only problem is: I can't fix my mind on my own because I don't have any control over it anymore.

.
The spiritual source of our involuntary, evil/immoral or baseless thoughts of doubts, fears/worries, lust, greed, selfishness, hate, anger, jealousy, etc, is the devil - the result of Adam's Original Sin - GENESIS.3:14-19, ROMANS.5:12, JOHN.8:44, MATTHEW.16:23 & 23:27, MARK.7:21, 1JOHN.3:8.

Learn to counter such involuntary evil thoughts from the devil with the Law/Word of God(MATTHEW.4:1-11) and/or just ignore them(= let the evil thoughts come and go). We should not entertain such thoughts and let them bear fruit into voluntary sins/evil-deeds against God, our neighbor/friend/family or ourselves, eg blasphemy, murder/suicide, adultery/AIDS, stealing, lying/cheating/ /being cheated, dishonor parents, social withdrawal, etc.

Shrooms are powerful psychotropic drugs = avoid if possible. Cigarette smoking or nicotine-addiction is already bad enough for you.

 

[Galnaros]

.
The spiritual source of our involuntary, evil/immoral or baseless thoughts of doubts, fears/worries, lust, greed, selfishness, hate, anger, jealousy, etc, is the devil - the result of Adam's Original Sin - GENESIS.3:14-19, ROMANS.5:12, JOHN.8:44, MATTHEW.16:23 & 23:27, MARK.7:21, 1JOHN.3:8.

Learn to counter such involuntary evil thoughts from the devil with the Law/Word of God(MATTHEW.4:1-11) and/or just ignore them(= let the evil thoughts come and go). We should not entertain such thoughts and let them bear fruit into voluntary sins/evil-deeds against God, our neighbor/friend/family or ourselves, eg blasphemy, murder/suicide, adultery/AIDS, stealing, lying/cheating/ /being cheated, dishonor parents, social withdrawal, etc.

Shrooms are powerful psychotropic drugs = avoid if possible. Cigarette smoking or nicotine-addiction is already bad enough for you.

I don't even have such thoughts anymore, I am confused in a much different way. I don't think the devil is playing with me right now. I'm all alone it seems rather. My mind consists of me telling myself that I am thinking too much and that my brain doesn't work anymore. Things like 'I am confused all the time, can you imagine'? This thought crosses my mind atleast a 100 times per day. 'It's as if I am hypersensitive and have to think about everything'. If it's not those thoughts then it's thoughts about other people's thoughts about me. Thoughts like: 'I'm sorry Sinan, but you really need help' < here I imagine other people telling me these kinds of things. The way my mind works now is just pure torture. And besides these thoughts there are my perverted thoughts about doing bad things in general. But I myself am the author of these thoughts, I generate them myself, they don't come from an external source like the devil. I have become utterly corrupted. My mind is probably 100 times worse than anyone could imagine and it's really killing me.
If prayer and studying my bible doesn't give me a sense of peace, then what does? 1,5 years of unanswered prayers, no revelations, no feeling of God's presence and this broken mind is just too much for me. Death is around the corner. I know suicide is not acceptable but being in such a mess for such a long time really makes me want to just kill myself and accept my fate of dying in an unrepentant state.
I am eager to try these psilocybin mushrooms just to see if they can fix me in some way. Maybe change my emotional status or totally rewire my brain, because that's what's needed. Perhaps I will laugh for the first time since what feels like ages. I'll let you know how it went. I am well prepared.

 

[jim35215]

Hello all,

I have already shared my story on this forum somewhere about a year ago. I'm still stuck in the same predicament and I've been wondering if I have committed the unpardonable sin. To summarize my story: I was depressed, as an atheist, around the later part of 2015. Then I prayed, because I was so desperate and my prayer was answered. I found God and I learned what the Holy Spirit was and what It did in my life. I had really never felt better than ever before, it felt as if I became a new human being. I started walking,talking, thinking and doing everything in a new way. I was so happy that I found God and wanted to become a better person after He'd shown me that I was a great sinner before.

Then I started backsliding, severely, and ignoring the revelations and guidance of the Holy Spirit. I didn't want to do certain things that God wanted me to do, because that meant giving up on sin. So I started to love sin again and was a great partaker in it. I kept doing this until my mind got, what I believe is called 'reprobated'. Emotionally flat, no interest in anything, mentally turned inwards and hella confused, concentration and sleeping problems. Summarized: I have nothing left to live for, I don't even love my closest family anymore.

Life is so hard right now and I can't take it much longer. All of this writing doesn't come from actual despair, I don't feel anything at all. I don't even seem to care about God and my past sins anymore, my conscience is seared and it doesn't stop.

I quit smoking weed and drinking alcohol 3 weeks ago , but it hasn't changed anything for me. Hebrews 6 4-6 isn't even bothering me anymore even though I know I fit the picture and I certainly can't be returned to a repentant state. I have rejected the gift of salvation and I'm therefor hellbound. I even saw a part of me slipping into a great red wall of fire when I was on a shrooms trip áfter I had lost the Holy Spirit or close to the end of losing It and I actually felt the heat for a brief moment. I took these shrooms because I wanted to get another revelation. I heard my parents cry that I was gone and then saw that part of me sinking in a pit of fire. I was ungrateful, only loved sin after I had been born again and I'm a terrible person.

Also, there is no actual hatred of self anymore, I don't have to 'forgive myself',because I don't even feel that there's something to forgive. As if I have forgotten about everything I've done in the past. My mind is a mess.
So my question is: Can I fix this situation or am I done here and should I just accept my fate?

 

[jim35215]

Hello all,

I have already shared my story on this forum somewhere about a year ago. I'm still stuck in the same predicament and I've been wondering if I have committed the unpardonable sin. To summarize my story: I was depressed, as an atheist, around the later part of 2015. Then I prayed, because I was so desperate and my prayer was answered. I found God and I learned what the Holy Spirit was and what It did in my life. I had really never felt better than ever before, it felt as if I became a new human being. I started walking,talking, thinking and doing everything in a new way. I was so happy that I found God and wanted to become a better person after He'd shown me that I was a great sinner before.

Then I started backsliding, severely, and ignoring the revelations and guidance of the Holy Spirit. I didn't want to do certain things that God wanted me to do, because that meant giving up on sin. So I started to love sin again and was a great partaker in it. I kept doing this until my mind got, what I believe is called 'reprobated'. Emotionally flat, no interest in anything, mentally turned inwards and hella confused, concentration and sleeping problems. Summarized: I have nothing left to live for, I don't even love my closest family anymore.

Life is so hard right now and I can't take it much longer. All of this writing doesn't come from actual despair, I don't feel anything at all. I don't even seem to care about God and my past sins anymore, my conscience is seared and it doesn't stop.

I quit smoking weed and drinking alcohol 3 weeks ago , but it hasn't changed anything for me. Hebrews 6 4-6 isn't even bothering me anymore even though I know I fit the picture and I certainly can't be returned to a repentant state. I have rejected the gift of salvation and I'm therefor hellbound. I even saw a part of me slipping into a great red wall of fire when I was on a shrooms trip áfter I had lost the Holy Spirit or close to the end of losing It and I actually felt the heat for a brief moment. I took these shrooms because I wanted to get another revelation. I heard my parents cry that I was gone and then saw that part of me sinking in a pit of fire. I was ungrateful, only loved sin after I had been born again and I'm a terrible person.

Also, there is no actual hatred of self anymore, I don't have to 'forgive myself',because I don't even feel that there's something to forgive. As if I have forgotten about everything I've done in the past. My mind is a mess.
So my question is: Can I fix this situation or am I done here and should I just accept my fate?

As long as you have breath you can repent, GOD can not look at sin, so you e a stained relation, he will forgive but sin consequences, what are they I dod not know but Jesus is faithful and just to forgive. Funny thing about hell bound we were all there at one time but for whatever reason he chose us to be his childern. Reamain in hell will be your choose, I chose HIM.
Can I fix this situation? No but the holy spirit can. Surrender your self to him completely. See what he will do. Many blessing to you. jim

 

[Galnaros]

As long as you have breath you can repent, GOD can not look at sin, so you e a stained relation, he will forgive but sin consequences, what are they I dod not know but Jesus is faithful and just to forgive. Funny thing about hell bound we were all there at one time but for whatever reason he chose us to be his childern. Reamain in hell will be your choose, I chose HIM.
Can I fix this situation? No but the holy spirit can. Surrender your self to him completely. See what he will do. Many blessing to you. jim

Thanks Jim. I've been surrendering myself to him completely for a long time now and it does nothing. The problem is. I can't repent because my mind and heart don't understand real repentance anymore. I can't repent if it's not from the heart. My heart being so darkened and careless about everything is the big problem here. I don't feel sorrow for my past sexual sin, drug abuse, etc. It's over for me already. If repentance doesn't come from the heart it's just a waste of time.
Happy Birthday by the way!

 

[jim35215]

I am too in this or a boat just like it, I find myself still ot completely surrendering. This is my sin, but I have used my mind to face the direction of Jesus, if my mind is set is my heart is far behind. :ove is always a choose, you can choose to do love "love is action the cross proves that". My heart is far from GOD but it is my problem not HIS. The bible says HE will be found of those who seek him. No matter what I believe CHRIST death was so I could be forgiven.
Let us assume it is not true, you and I are going to hell. "we deserve hell because we are unrepented rebels who want to do it our way. If I keep trying I will be a better person. I have a satisfaction in that, If I give up and live for sex drugs and rock and roll" My life will be empty and I will require more SDR each day. Don't give up trying you will be happier for it.

 

[LostChildinTheMidst]

I don't know what I want. I certainly know that I had a relationship with God before and those months it lasted were the best months of my life. I'd lie if I said that I actually wánt a relationship with God, but I know that I nééd a relationship with God in order to be fixed. Also , I forgot to mention that I have been in psychiatry for over 18 months now and they haven't been able to fix me. Not even slightly. This mental confusion doesn't ever stop. I asked God to forgive me every day ever since, but those attempts were not genuine, if you know what I mean. Not from the bottom of my heart that is.

I never related to a situation as much as I related to this one...only difference is age

 

[Galnaros]

I never related to a situation as much as I related to this one...only difference is age

Hey, I think I found myself a partner in misfortune. May I ask you what your story is? Were you also convinced that you were elected to become a great spiritual leader but then fell off the faith train by drowning in sin and then pretty much lost your mental sanity like I have?

 

[LostChildinTheMidst]

Ye

Hey, I think I found myself a partner in misfortune. May I ask you what your story is? Were you also convinced that you were elected to become a great spiritual leader but then fell off the faith train by drowning in sin and then pretty much lost your mental sanity like I have?

yes yes very much. For more of my story u should probably just read through my posts. But ur situation is sooo similar to mine, I have a hard time beleiving ur a real person just because I’m going through the exact same thing.

 

[Galnaros]

Ye

yes yes very much. For more of my story u should probably just read through my posts. But ur situation is sooo similar to mine, I have a hard time beleiving ur a real person just because I’m going through the exact same thing.

Judging by your posts I think you'll be just fine. I sense the fear of God and of damnation and I do really believe that you were once enlightened and are still really sorry for your past sins. It's hard for people who have not been enlightened by the Holy Spirit to believe that others have been enlightened but I believe you.
Also I think true repentance will get you far. You seem to worry about your life like school, family, gossiping and such things so you are actually bothered about those facets of life, which I think is a good sign. I am totally careless, like, I don't care about my family and friends, about my future , God, about anything really. I'd say, come to Jesus and tell Him that you're truly sorry and are ready to get back on the right track. Always talk with Him and do read your Bible and try to find positive passages. Forget about Hebrews 6: 4-8 and just take a deep breath.
I might not be the right person to give you advice since I've probably sinned more than all people that reacted to this forum post, but if I can't help myself, why not try and help others.
If you want to write me an e-mail or something , no problem. There is a personal message feature on this site.

 

[Galnaros]

I don't understand why God allows one to suffer so badly for simply not wanting to do His will. OK, I messed up, but why don't I get a second chance at life? I was 21 when this happened and my life is already over before it even began. Is this really what God wants? I thought He was a loving God but now it turns out He's just sadistic(to me atleast).
I'm on the verge of ending my life(I'm meeting my GP to talk about assisted suicide next week) and God just leaves me to rot in this state. I just can't understand how He can be so cruel to the people that don't do what He pleases.
I was supposed to bring people closer to God but now my situation makes people do the opposite. Is there really nothing I can do other than being a good person, praying, and worshipping God even if I don't feel like it anymore? There must be something that could help me.

 

[Petros2015]

I don't understand why God allows one to suffer so badly for simply not wanting to do His will. OK, I messed up, but why don't I get a second chance at life?

You had an 'all or nothing' vision, which has taken you here. Based on where it has taken you, I don't believe it was from God. All or nothing thinking is common in mental illness, extremes are common in manic-depression. The way out is probably repentance and humility. Not trying to be All, not fearing being Nothing, one day's walk at a time with Christ. Repentance doesn't mean perfection, it's orientation. Check your compass, re-orient, keep walking True North. It's a windy path even for the best of us. That's ok. True North stays True North, no matter how far we get away from it or what direction we are pointed in or what we think we were called to do. There will be plenty to do along the way, if you start walking.

If you go another route and start twisting your mind with psychedelics, no telling. I spent some time in a psych ward once. There was a girl there who went on an LSD trip, overdosed and she never came back. Every now and then they'd give her electro-shock and she'd come down to normal for a few hours. I imagine she's still there.

 

[Galnaros]

You had an 'all or nothing' vision, which has taken you here. Based on where it has taken you, I don't believe it was from God. All or nothing thinking is common in mental illness, extremes are common in manic-depression. The way out is probably repentance and humility. Not trying to be All, not fearing being Nothing, one day's walk at a time with Christ. Repentance doesn't mean perfection, it's orientation. Check your compass, re-orient, keep walking True North. It's a windy path even for the best of us. That's ok. True North stays True North, no matter how far we get away from it or what direction we are pointed in or what we think we were called to do. There will be plenty to do along the way, if you start walking.

If you go another route and start twisting your mind with psychedelics, no telling. I spent some time in a psych ward once. There was a girl there who went on an LSD trip, overdosed and she never came back. Every now and then they'd give her electro-shock and she'd come down to normal for a few hours. I imagine she's still there.

Thanks for you reply, Petros2015. I did indeed have a "all or nothing" vision and no drugs were involved when I had that vision. It was on my path all the time. I am not mentally ill either, since I've been in a psychiatric circuit which wasn't able to fix me 'till now. We've tried ALL possible medicine for my problems, but nothing has worked. My psych has never seen someone suffer like me for such a long time after a what they think was a 'psychosis'. I am so so sure it was God who reached out to me after I desperately prayed for help when I was depressed in 2015.
Last month I've lived cleaner than I have ever lived, but it's not real heartfelt repentance so it doesn't get me anywhere.

 

[jim35215]

I don't understand why God allows one to suffer so badly for simply not wanting to do His will. OK, I messed up, but why don't I get a second chance at life? I was 21 when this happened and my life is already over before it even began. Is this really what God wants? I thought He was a loving God but now it turns out He's just sadistic(to me atleast).
I'm on the verge of ending my life(I'm meeting my GP to talk about assisted suicide next week) and God just leaves me to rot in this state. I just can't understand how He can be so cruel to the people that don't do what He pleases.
I was supposed to bring people closer to God but now my situation makes people do the opposite. Is there really nothing I can do other than being a good person, praying, and worshipping God even if I don't feel like it anymore? There must be something that could help me.

Boy do I understand where you are coming from, I could not get a break at all In the last five years, 25 years ago I let east coast for west coast, I believed I can serve Jesus any where, wrong it showed I did not trust him life was easy, but each day I felt less close to him. I let Jesus wanted to serve him there, I tried but not completely, "again not trusting him", 7 years go by I give up I will stop serving him, church witnessing for him ect. I believed I was save I would never deny HIM. another 5 or so years I am homeless my CDL is gone, can not get a break. I tired to kill myself 2 months ago, I was worried I would leave a mess so I tried a less messy way and failed. Turned my self in to VA, 10 days later out of inpatient lock down, anti depressants. New man " not because of med" will in lock down I started reading a bible again seeking HIS face. a good person, praying, are and worshipping God these are good but will not bring you any closer to Jesus. Job was confused but never doubted GOD.
The living GOD is a relationship before fall HE saw Adam and Steve Just kidding every day. sin stopped that. GOD'S heart was broken, HE promised restored relationship, approximate 4ooo years later Jesus came and restored those that believe. You rejected his way your trying to do it your war still by working for it. I will not work. Get on your knees pray for Restoration, tried of praying read the Psalms you will see a lot of depression, but GOD show up. Just in time.
I would not choose the road but it was what I needed. Forgot when you pray thank HIM for your suffering. Peter said these trials are more valuable the Gold. GOD WILL SHOW UP. when I do not know, but he will when you fully trusted.