Furry fandom

[AnonymousForNow]

Hey, Axel... Sorry--I don't know how to create a regular post on this forum yet. I joined to find answers and I just need somebody's help.

I've been a Christian for all my life, and my faith is still strong today 16 years later. Well, the other day, I told my parents that I don't know why, but I've had some liking and interest in this "Furry" stuff (I don't mean any of the dark side of the community, I would never do that stuff). I like doing digital drawing and, once again I don't know why, but I just liked what I've been seeing--incredibly nice and loving people (such as my best friend, who is a Christian Furry), a world of creativity, a place where I can be myself without fear of reprisal, etc--it just puts a smile on my face.

Well, when I brought it up, my parents were originally very skeptical and told me not to be engaging with any of it just yet--then a few days later, they told me how the community is "Just a sexual fetish" and "Isn't really what it seems to be." I know people in the community who don't even touch the dark corners of it, but now they just see them as "Not knowing what they're really into."

I've let it sink in over these past few days, but--something just seems wrong... I'm fine if their concern means I don't join any big forum or never go to a convention--I understand their concern and I would be concerned too, I'm more than willing to draw those lines. But, I just can't see "everyone" in the community being these sexual predators they make them out to be. As I've said, I've met many and they are way better people than I'll ever be... The art, the musicians, animations and YouTubers--most of the content in these are innocent. People will always find a way to make something twisted, that's why I don't believe that "everyone" in the community is that way.

Is there a way to navigate the community in a harmless and safe way...? I've felt like I would belong in it, is it something God would want me to be in...?

I understand my family's concern, I really do, and I don't downplay the dark side of the community at ALL. I just want the full picture so I can make the educated, correct decision that aligns with God's will for my life. My parents are still iffy on me affiliating myself with the community or not, and if I do feel like I should join, I don't want them to be worried about me.

So, what do you think of all this...? What would you tell someone in my shoes? What would you do in my shoes?
If you read this, thank you... It means more to me than you think. God bless you.

 

[bèlla]

The perception of being openly engaged in a practice with significant sexual connotations would be my benchmark. While that isn't the whole of the community the reputation is heavily associated with fetishes which may give the appearance I'm doing the same. That could affect my witness.

An interest that forces me to defend myself against perversion or the suspicion of its engagement isn't worth it.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

 

[AnonymousForNow]

The perception of being openly engaged in a practice with significant sexual connotations would be my benchmark. While that isn't the whole of the community the reputation is heavily associated with fetishes which may give the appearance I'm doing the same. That could affect my witness.

An interest that forces me to defend myself against perversion or the suspicion of its engagement isn't worth it.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

Good points, LaBèlla. I've thought about that quite a bit in thinking about this--what it'd do to the outside perception of who I am. I will say though, I know that He would know my heart and reasons for it--so, would those who don't understand count against me in His eyes...?

I also think that a 'lot' of things will eventually lead to you having to defend yourself against perversion--for example, I listen to (appropriate) metal music on occasion, but Spotify and YouTube algorithms will try to auto-play and recommend some not appropriate stuff--simple solution, I don't do it. I'm all for "guarding your heart," and I've seen what happens if you don't correctly, but just because the world stereotypes something doesn't mean that defines who you actually are just by touching it; that'd be like saying "I own a pickup truck, so therefore I'm a redneck"--no, there are plenty of exceptions out there, and people trying to stereotype me is just something I'm used to at this point, people who have been around me for more than a minute know that I don't fit the things people try to tack onto my name.

I've seen a few people mention on this forum that they are into the art and/or dress-up parts of it, but that they will not associate themselves with the community due to its dark outlook. That is something I'm definitely considering. Even the community itself will tell you that "You aren't a Furry unless you say so," "It's your choice, you aren't just one for 'liking anthropomorphic animals'."

I know I've sounded pretty opposing in this response, but I am legitimately taking your words into careful consideration. As I've said--I like the art and might like the dress-up aspect, and I don't see why I should have to "lose" that--but anything like conventions or un-administered forums is out of the question for me.

Thanks, LaBèlla. You taking time out of your day to help means a lot to me...

 

[axelthefox]

The perception of being openly engaged in a practice with significant sexual connotations would be my benchmark. While that isn't the whole of the community the reputation is heavily associated with fetishes which may give the appearance I'm doing the same. That could affect my witness.

An interest that forces me to defend myself against perversion or the suspicion of its engagement isn't worth it.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

I thik other fandoms like anime and my little pony have a adult side.

I once found adult art of my little pony without looking for it.

 

[AnonymousForNow]

I thik other fandoms like anime and my little pony have a adult side.

I once found adult art of my little pony without looking for it.

And you'll find that for Disney, for kids shows--anything. As I said, people will find ways to twist just about anything into something sinister.

Now--even since day 1, the Furry community has refused to condemn and actually hid sexual offenders, pedophiles, and other such people. There's no escaping the fact that the community has always had these dark corners.

It's honestly a shame that a community based on such an innocent topic, that has young people in it and wanting to be a part of it, and who is founded on acceptance and fellowship, has such dark holes. I know multiple Furries and I swear they are some of the most loving people I have ever met, and they'd never do any of the dark stuff that others do.

I still don't know how to feel about all this. Even if I do create more art or get accessories or something, while not associating myself with the community, others will. People associate anthropomorphic animals with Furries, so even if I opposed joining the community myself, people would still see me as "a Furry."

It's a lose-lose: Either I admit I'm a Furry and roll with the punches, knowing who I really am and knowing that there are people out there who will understand me; or I state that I am not one, but get claimed as one, and have those stereotypes tacked onto me still.

Thank you both for your feedback.
PS: Your drawing is amazing, Axel...

 

[AnonymousForNow]

I apologize for having sent such long posts these last few days. So much has been going through my mind and I don't want to make any wrong calls, spiritually or morally.

If it weren't for the dark parts of the community, I would've easily joined by now.
One thing I didn't mention is that I might face legitimate consequences for picking a side--both friends of my mother and my mother herself don't want me joining or having anything to do with it (accessories, art, none of it). The parents of my best friend [who is a Christian Furry himself] have even mentioned potentially separating the two of us if I even so much as mention the word "Furry."

But, it's not like my liking of the art and concept would just "go away"--it's not something I'd "need therapy to overcome" or any of that, because I just "do" like it. I don't see why me liking to draw anthropomorphic animals or the potential of me owning a suit/accessories should have to end because some people just aren't doing it "the right way." I'm just so lost and confused...

 

[WayfaringCoyote]

Oof, sorry you've been going through this. It sounds rough.
I can safely say that by itself, having an interest in anthropomorphic animals is not a sexual fetish. I know this 'cause I,
1. Have an interest in anthropomorphic animals, and
2. Have dealt with having a sexual fetish. I've since broken free of it thanks to God.

Point being, I know what both feel like. My interest in anthropomorphic animals feels nothing like the aforementioned fetish did. If it did, I wouldn't touch anthropomorphic animal content with a 10-foot pole.

As for the situation with your parents... I can understand their concerns about the fandom, but I don't agree with their idea that simply having an interest in anthro animals is bad. For whatever reason, some people find anthropomorphic animals appealing, like how some people find sci-fi appealing. And considering how frequent anthropomorphic animals are in media, it's a more common appeal than people think. It's just that furries like anthros a lot, similar to how Trekkies really like Star Trek.

There are those within the fandom that twist and corrupt things, and maybe they're more common than they should be, but it's unfair to throw everyone who calls themselves a "furry" (or those who forgo the name but still have an interest in anthros) into the same bucket. That'd be like claiming all Christians believe in [insert highly-specific theological belief here] without regarding the differences between individuals and denominations.

 

[bèlla]

I thik other fandoms like anime and my little pony have a adult side.

I once found adult art of my little pony without looking for it.

Axel,

I haven't ventured down that rabbit hole. But there are things I once enjoyed that I set aside to alleviate any hint of impropriety. My reputation must be spotless. Guilt by association can be as damaging as committing the act itself. Public perception may be of little concern to some. But it matters to me. It affects my livelihood and calling.

I relinquished anything that threatened my relationship with God (in its early days) and fulfillment of my purpose. Friends, activities, behaviors, etc. They had to go. Some took longer to release more than others. I got rid of them eventually.

The Lord replenished it all. Now my associations are God-fearing believers whose character and lifestyle are complementary to my own. I let Him build my friendships and direct me to hobbies and profitable work.

I believe in taking a hit for some things. But I wouldn't do it for this. The payoff isn't large enough. If I'm going to suffer it'd better be worth it. If the activity isn't on God's agenda He isn't getting involved.

I want holy anointing on everything I do. I want it to be spiritually supercharged. Those are the things He blesses. I'll experience His presence and movement on my behalf. But if I get myself into things He isn't involved in; I'm on my own.

That's the way I live. It allows me to prosper and reduce my hardships and upsets. This isn't a battle I would enter. You may feel differently.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

 

[axelthefox]

Oof, sorry you've been going through this. It sounds rough.
I can safely say that by itself, having an interest in anthropomorphic animals is not a sexual fetish. I know this 'cause I,
1. Have an interest in anthropomorphic animals, and
2. Have dealt with having a sexual fetish. I've since broken free of it thanks to God.

Point being, I know what both feel like. My interest in anthropomorphic animals feels nothing like the aforementioned fetish did. If it did, I wouldn't touch anthropomorphic animal content with a 10-foot pole.

As for the situation with your parents... I can understand their concerns about the fandom, but I don't agree with their idea that simply having an interest in anthro animals is bad. For whatever reason, some people find anthropomorphic animals appealing, like how some people find sci-fi appealing. And considering how frequent anthropomorphic animals are in media, it's a more common appeal than people think. It's just that furries like anthros a lot, similar to how Trekkies really like Star Trek.

There are those within the fandom that twist and corrupt things, and maybe they're more common than they should be, but it's unfair to throw everyone who calls themselves a "furry" (or those who forgo the name but still have an interest in anthros) into the same bucket. That'd be like claiming all Christians believe in [insert highly-specific theological belief here] without regarding the differences between individuals and denominations.

I wonder if you noticed on some message boards, that there are people who will discriminate against furries?

I a researcher of furries said that discrimination against furries does exist.

 

[WayfaringCoyote]

I wonder if you noticed on some message boards, that there are people who will discriminate against furries?

I a researcher of furries said that discrimination against furries does exist.

Whatcha mean by discrimination exactly? Like general bashing and trolling?

 

[axelthefox]

Whatcha mean by discrimination exactly? Like general bashing and trolling?

Yup, plus some sites ban furry topics because they feel it's not family friendly.

 

[WayfaringCoyote]

Yup, plus some sites ban furry topics because they feel it's not family friendly.

That's a shame. I don't frequent many message boards, so I can't say whether I've seen it often. Good thing that isn't the case here, oi? ;)

Though we should probably get in the habit of discussing the positive stuff more frequently. Not that there isn't a time or place for negative topics, but focusing too much on negative things can be a downer. -v-"

 

[axelthefox]

And you'll find that for Disney, for kids shows--anything. As I said, people will find ways to twist just about anything into something sinister.

Now--even since day 1, the Furry community has refused to condemn and actually hid sexual offenders, pedophiles, and other such people. There's no escaping the fact that the community has always had these dark corners.

It's honestly a shame that a community based on such an innocent topic, that has young people in it and wanting to be a part of it, and who is founded on acceptance and fellowship, has such dark holes. I know multiple Furries and I swear they are some of the most loving people I have ever met, and they'd never do any of the dark stuff that others do.

I still don't know how to feel about all this. Even if I do create more art or get accessories or something, while not associating myself with the community, others will. People associate anthropomorphic animals with Furries, so even if I opposed joining the community myself, people would still see me as "a Furry."

It's a lose-lose: Either I admit I'm a Furry and roll with the punches, knowing who I really am and knowing that there are people out there who will understand me; or I state that I am not one, but get claimed as one, and have those stereotypes tacked onto me still.

Thank you both for your feedback.
PS: Your drawing is amazing, Axel...

I think that is the case with any community or group.

I know that Catholic Priests/Ministers/rabbis,little league coaches,school teachers,musicians(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Glitter),restaurant spokespeople(Jared Fogle - Wikipedia) and even family members been arrested for the same thing.

I think one time the Catholic Church tried to cover up the SO's,pedos and such in the chuch.

Now, the furry fandom is trying to clamp down on those criminals

Furry con in San Jose put this in their code of conduct.

Further Confusion restricts membership of those with predatory history
For the safety of our attendees, Further Confusion does not allow attendance by those with a history of sexual violence or pedophilia. If you are unsure whether your ability to attend is affected by this rule, please reach out to



Many furries are even speaking out about predators.

I think in time,furry will do something about predators. A person known as Growly,that is his fandom name been posted a lot on bewares on twitter,tumblr and such.

 

[AnonymousForNow]

A lot apparently happened over the weekend so I'm going to tap back in from the sideline...

I agree with your heart, LaBelle, in talking about prioritizing and and making sure you're keeping the goods things around and the potentially harmful away; however, I don't see it the exact same way as you. It's impossible for us to "keep spotless reputations" in our character because people one, we're human and imperfect, and two, what one sees as a plus might be a negative to another (i.e. hyper-sympathy). If I were to eliminate "everything" that could potentially harm me or hurt my outlook, I wouldn't be in "anything," even church because not every action of people within the church is perfect either. It's a shot I'd be willing to take, because I'd live knowing I'm 100% myself than not because 'society is iffy on it'.

As you made the point, Axel, no group is perfect, and if you have human beings in a group, there's going to be some dangerous individuals. Ultimately, it's in who you associate yourself with, what 'you' do, and who 'you' are. It's like school--hang out with the right kids and you'll grow up with good character, but hang out with the wrong kids and you'll have to climb your way out of some stuff--it's the same group, but it's all in where and who you put your heart with.

I agree that the stereotyping is quite harmful, Wayfaring--and the sad part is that things like that happen when people don't pause to fully understand something and its people--that's why we have such divides in our political parties, friend groups, and yes, affiliations. Not everything is "right" and "wrong," but people like black-and-white, even if it sacrifices accuracy and morals. I can well understand why my parents think the community is some "trap," but many could say the same about Christianity because of the exact same reason--they don't have the full picture--not the "right" one, not the "stated" one, the unfiltered and full image. Even after that, people could still believe and not believe things, but at least if you get the picture you can learn to accept because you know it isn't a "right and wrong" thing, it's just "a thing."

I'm actually more nervous than ever to bring this topic up or speak-up for what I want, because there was a layer added to the situation--a potential cost. If I admit to following any of this Furry stuff, and my best friend's parents don't see eye-to-eye with me as to why, then chances are I'll lose my best friend forever. This isn't something I could keep in the shadows either since both of our sides' parents have trackers and constantly monitor any of our conversations for "clues" that we might be up to something (though we've never done anything wrong). As of today it's been 10-straight days that I've been cut off from him, unsure if I'll even get to hear from him again--and all this over this Furry thing, because both of our parents think its a "sexual fetish" that "traps kids" and "doesn't 'have' a good side."

I dread that this harmless liking of mine is causing so many real negative circumstances for me--and that's not 'due' to the community at all. I don't understand why this is causing shame over me and is causing my best friend (who's heartbroken about this separation) to be pulled away from me by his own family... I thought this would be simple--I thought I'd just be honest and could live my life in a God-willed manner--but, here I am with a (metaphorical) gun to my head being ordered to explain my emotions, but what they accept as "true" and worthy of pulling the gun away is entirely up to their opinion. As much as I like to pretend this is simple and doesn't hurt, as much as I wish this were some bad dream--it isn't, and it hurts, a lot--if my tears don't show that I'm hurting, I don't know what does.

 

[axelthefox]

A lot apparently happened over the weekend so I'm going to tap back in from the sideline...

I agree with your heart, LaBelle, in talking about prioritizing and and making sure you're keeping the goods things around and the potentially harmful away; however, I don't see it the exact same way as you. It's impossible for us to "keep spotless reputations" in our character because people one, we're human and imperfect, and two, what one sees as a plus might be a negative to another (i.e. hyper-sympathy). If I were to eliminate "everything" that could potentially harm me or hurt my outlook, I wouldn't be in "anything," even church because not every action of people within the church is perfect either. It's a shot I'd be willing to take, because I'd live knowing I'm 100% myself than not because 'society is iffy on it'.

As you made the point, Axel, no group is perfect, and if you have human beings in a group, there's going to be some dangerous individuals. Ultimately, it's in who you associate yourself with, what 'you' do, and who 'you' are. It's like school--hang out with the right kids and you'll grow up with good character, but hang out with the wrong kids and you'll have to climb your way out of some stuff--it's the same group, but it's all in where and who you put your heart with.

I agree that the stereotyping is quite harmful, Wayfaring--and the sad part is that things like that happen when people don't pause to fully understand something and its people--that's why we have such divides in our political parties, friend groups, and yes, affiliations. Not everything is "right" and "wrong," but people like black-and-white, even if it sacrifices accuracy and morals. I can well understand why my parents think the community is some "trap," but many could say the same about Christianity because of the exact same reason--they don't have the full picture--not the "right" one, not the "stated" one, the unfiltered and full image. Even after that, people could still believe and not believe things, but at least if you get the picture you can learn to accept because you know it isn't a "right and wrong" thing, it's just "a thing."

I'm actually more nervous than ever to bring this topic up or speak-up for what I want, because there was a layer added to the situation--a potential cost. If I admit to following any of this Furry stuff, and my best friend's parents don't see eye-to-eye with me as to why, then chances are I'll lose my best friend forever. This isn't something I could keep in the shadows either since both of our sides' parents have trackers and constantly monitor any of our conversations for "clues" that we might be up to something (though we've never done anything wrong). As of today it's been 10-straight days that I've been cut off from him, unsure if I'll even get to hear from him again--and all this over this Furry thing, because both of our parents think its a "sexual fetish" that "traps kids" and "doesn't 'have' a good side."

I dread that this harmless liking of mine is causing so many real negative circumstances for me--and that's not 'due' to the community at all. I don't understand why this is causing shame over me and is causing my best friend (who's heartbroken about this separation) to be pulled away from me by his own family... I thought this would be simple--I thought I'd just be honest and could live my life in a God-willed manner--but, here I am with a (metaphorical) gun to my head being ordered to explain my emotions, but what they accept as "true" and worthy of pulling the gun away is entirely up to their opinion. As much as I like to pretend this is simple and doesn't hurt, as much as I wish this were some bad dream--it isn't, and it hurts, a lot--if my tears don't show that I'm hurting, I don't know what does.

Then it's your parents decision and you shouldn't be into that until way later when your on your own

 

[WayfaringCoyote]

A lot apparently happened over the weekend so I'm going to tap back in from the sideline...

I agree with your heart, LaBelle, in talking about prioritizing and and making sure you're keeping the goods things around and the potentially harmful away; however, I don't see it the exact same way as you. It's impossible for us to "keep spotless reputations" in our character because people one, we're human and imperfect, and two, what one sees as a plus might be a negative to another (i.e. hyper-sympathy). If I were to eliminate "everything" that could potentially harm me or hurt my outlook, I wouldn't be in "anything," even church because not every action of people within the church is perfect either. It's a shot I'd be willing to take, because I'd live knowing I'm 100% myself than not because 'society is iffy on it'.

As you made the point, Axel, no group is perfect, and if you have human beings in a group, there's going to be some dangerous individuals. Ultimately, it's in who you associate yourself with, what 'you' do, and who 'you' are. It's like school--hang out with the right kids and you'll grow up with good character, but hang out with the wrong kids and you'll have to climb your way out of some stuff--it's the same group, but it's all in where and who you put your heart with.

I agree that the stereotyping is quite harmful, Wayfaring--and the sad part is that things like that happen when people don't pause to fully understand something and its people--that's why we have such divides in our political parties, friend groups, and yes, affiliations. Not everything is "right" and "wrong," but people like black-and-white, even if it sacrifices accuracy and morals. I can well understand why my parents think the community is some "trap," but many could say the same about Christianity because of the exact same reason--they don't have the full picture--not the "right" one, not the "stated" one, the unfiltered and full image. Even after that, people could still believe and not believe things, but at least if you get the picture you can learn to accept because you know it isn't a "right and wrong" thing, it's just "a thing."

I'm actually more nervous than ever to bring this topic up or speak-up for what I want, because there was a layer added to the situation--a potential cost. If I admit to following any of this Furry stuff, and my best friend's parents don't see eye-to-eye with me as to why, then chances are I'll lose my best friend forever. This isn't something I could keep in the shadows either since both of our sides' parents have trackers and constantly monitor any of our conversations for "clues" that we might be up to something (though we've never done anything wrong). As of today it's been 10-straight days that I've been cut off from him, unsure if I'll even get to hear from him again--and all this over this Furry thing, because both of our parents think its a "sexual fetish" that "traps kids" and "doesn't 'have' a good side."

I dread that this harmless liking of mine is causing so many real negative circumstances for me--and that's not 'due' to the community at all. I don't understand why this is causing shame over me and is causing my best friend (who's heartbroken about this separation) to be pulled away from me by his own family... I thought this would be simple--I thought I'd just be honest and could live my life in a God-willed manner--but, here I am with a (metaphorical) gun to my head being ordered to explain my emotions, but what they accept as "true" and worthy of pulling the gun away is entirely up to their opinion. As much as I like to pretend this is simple and doesn't hurt, as much as I wish this were some bad dream--it isn't, and it hurts, a lot--if my tears don't show that I'm hurting, I don't know what does.

Geez, that's tough. I don't think I can give much advice except to keep asking God for help and for what he wants you to do. Things may not turn out the way you want them to, but if you listen to God and follow His will then you'll be doing what's right, no matter what.

Also, those were some profound, well-written paragraphs. I can tell you've been putting a lot of thought into these things, and I agree with the points you've made. Here's hoping things turn out well, oi?

 

[AnonymousForNow]

Geez, that's tough. I don't think I can give much advice except to keep asking God for help and for what he wants you to do. Things may not turn out the way you want them to, but if you listen to God and follow His will then you'll be doing what's right, no matter what.

Also, those were some profound, well-written paragraphs. I can tell you've been putting a lot of thought into these things, and I agree with the points you've made. Here's hoping things turn out well, oi?

Thanks, Wayfaring... Going into this, or anything like this, I always go into it knowing that God's will has to come first and this is no exception. Then again, I've made some decisions in God's will and been hurt by others, even those in the church, for it. I'm following God's Word and I'm not harming myself or anyone else--is that not enough, what am I doing wrong...?

 

[AnonymousForNow]

Then it's your parents decision and you shouldn't be into that until way later when your on your own

It is ultimately their decision, and I know I have two years until I'm a full-fledged free adult, but nevertheless I wouldn't want them worrying about me over something if I can put them at-ease and show them that I'll be just fine, both in health and faith. The thing that still confuses me is--I like it, I'm not even going to get near any potential dangers, and I'm always going to put God first--is just the emotion of 'liking' something for none of the wrong reasons something spiritually wrong with me...? I understand some of the worry, but then let me prove it won't happen, let me earn your trust--at least give me the chance to speak for my heart...

 

[axelthefox]

I wonder if they have seen this article?

It says that furries are misunderstood and are not a fetish.

Furries: Inside a misunderstood culture - CNN

 

[AnonymousForNow]

I wonder if they have seen this article?

It says that furries are misunderstood and are not a fetish.

Furries: Inside a misunderstood culture - CNN

Thank you for pointing me to that article--that was very interesting to me. The sad thing is--I don't know if it'd even help them "see" the other side of things from what they currently believe... It's like what's happened with our politics: "You aren't my side, therefore what you say can't be right or valid." I'm trying to see if I can talk to a Christian counselor over this, that way I'm not having to entirely fight for myself--and if I'm wrong about anything, they'll let me know.

One more thing, Axel--on the Internet, you can find just about anything to support any position. I think this article is very correct, but at the same time, there's articles out there that vilify the fandom. Ultimately one person can see the data and say one thing, while another can say something different--but you won't "know" until you see for yourself, and that's something I nor my parents have really done yet.

Thank you for all your help, Axel--love you, God bless...