Focus on the Family and Dr. James Dobson

[Wiccan_Child]

And as a minsiter, teacher, pastor, missionary, friend, neighbor ---- exactly what is wrong in that.

I think he/she meant that he only focusses on Christian families. He doesn't give two hoots about anyone else (presumably because they are antithetical to his philosophy).

 

[LittleNipper]

According to dobson I suffered from "prehomosexuality" as a kid. Oddly my parents never affirmed my femaleness- allowing me to be whatever i wanted to be - includining always choosing to play the male in our little plays, for halloween etc... but I am a straight female who suffers no gender identity issues.

Dobson can't even understand the difference between gender identity and sexuality I certainly wouldn't take his advice on how to deal with gender identity matters in children and homosexuality

I sounds as though you'd only seek advice you agree with. Not very broad-minded of you. He also knows CHRIST, which is more than I'd care to assume with most counselors.

 

[wanderingone]

And as a minsiter, teacher, pastor, missionary, friend, neighbor ---- exactly what is wrong in that.

It's fine for him to focus on the families of those who want to run their lives by his theories. I personally don't care for him to be my minister, pastor, neighbor etc.... etc.... etc...

Hey FOTF boycotting pepsi yet? Not sure if I should be drinking coke products or pepsi products ..... (I know I shouldn't be drinking any -- but I need caffeine and I hate coffee)

 

[LittleNipper]

I think he/she meant that he only focusses on Christian families. He doesn't give two hoots about anyone else (presumably because they are antithetical to his philosophy).

I believes he provides excellent Christian based advice, if that is what one wishes to receive. If one is looking for a tissue and a pat on the back, well, there are enough yes men in this world ---- so take your pick and get your ears tickled.

 

[LittleNipper]

It's fine for him to focus on the families of those who want to run their lives by his theories. I personally don't care for him to be my minister, pastor, neighbor etc.... etc.... etc...

Hey FOTF boycotting pepsi yet? Not sure if I should be drinking coke products or pepsi products ..... (I know I shouldn't be drinking any -- but I need caffeine and I hate coffee)

Oh why not, you're not some bigot are you?

 

[cantata]

Oh why not, you're not some bigot are you?

Neighbour in the active sense, I guess.

 

[wanderingone]

I sounds as though you'd only seek advice you agree with. Not very broad-minded of you. He also knows CHRIST, which is more than I'd care to assume with most counselors.

I didn't need counseling. I was fine. My parents let me be who I was. I happen to be a "straight" female and always was. My preference for activities and clothing viewed culturally as "male" didn't make me "pre-homosexual" or trans gendered- in Dobsons little signs and symptoms list most of those things described me as a kid. -- however I wouldn't seek advice from someone I know to be misinformed and inaccurate.

The paranoia and fear over sexuality, orientation and gender appropriate behavior lead to far more problems than coping appropriately with the fact that God doesn't make people with cookie cutters even if Dobson thinks so.

 

[wanderingone]

Oh why not, you're not some bigot are you?

Hmm.. don't think so, I wouldn't try to control who lives next door to me or in my community, and it's not his being a Christian, or a "white" man or a "Straight" man that makes me not care for the idea of Dobson 24/7 - it's HIM.

 

[Washington]

The advice to fathers about showering with their sons was a goodie... It got dropped rather quickly from the family.org site.


edit: I spoke too soon - here it is

http://www2.focusonthefamily.com/docstudy/newsletters/a000000264.cfm

Eewww! How odd is that!! Brings thoughts of "pervert" to one's mind.

In the linked site we have Dobson championing the advice of one Joseph Nicolosi, with selected excerpts from his book; excerpts Dobson obviously agrees with.

The particular passage Dobson's quotes and his comment:

Joseph Nicolosi, A Parent's Guide to Preventing Homosexuality, Introduction

"Meanwhile, the boy's father has to do his part. He needs to mirror and affirm his son's maleness. He can play rough-and-tumble games with his son, in ways that are decidedly different from the games he would play with a little girl. He can help his son learn to throw and catch a ball. He can teach him to pound a square wooden peg into a square hole in a pegboard. He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger."
​

Dobson:

"Once again, this short synopsis from Dr. Nicolosi's book offers the most insightful understanding of the subject. "
​

source

Evidently homosexul males never had a chance to see their father's bigger penis.

 

[keith99]

I don't exactly agree with dobson here, esp in the context and no matter what he said it poorly.

BUT...

Once upon a time when I was a boy and dinosaurs and men walked the earth ... no not really, but lets say 35-50 years ago....

It was common to go to camp where there were communal showers and no one thought anything about it. In fact it worked out that the last day of camp was always a skinnydip. (Guess I should point out unisex camp). Reason? They wanted the kids at least rinsed off and packing wet bathingsuits ment nasty duffelbags when you got home.

Today it seems a big deal.

Eewww! How odd is that!! Brings thoughts of "pervert" to one's mind.

In the linked site we have Dobson championing the advice of one Joseph Nicolosi, with selected excerpts from his book; excerpts Dobson obviously agrees with.

The particular passage Dobson's quotes and his comment:

Joseph Nicolosi, A Parent's Guide to Preventing Homosexuality, Introduction

"Meanwhile, the boy's father has to do his part. He needs to mirror and affirm his son's maleness. He can play rough-and-tumble games with his son, in ways that are decidedly different from the games he would play with a little girl. He can help his son learn to throw and catch a ball. He can teach him to pound a square wooden peg into a square hole in a pegboard. He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger."
​

Dobson:

"Once again, this short synopsis from Dr. Nicolosi's book offers the most insightful understanding of the subject. "
​

source

Evidently homosexul males never had a chance to see their father's bigger penis.

 

[Polycarp_fan]

Eewww! How odd is that!! Brings thoughts of "pervert" to one's mind.

What behavior would that be referring to?

In the linked site we have Dobson championing the advice of one Joseph Nicolosi, with selected excerpts from his book; excerpts Dobson obviously agrees with.

The particular passage Dobson's quotes and his comment:

Joseph Nicolosi, A Parent's Guide to Preventing Homosexuality, Introduction

"Meanwhile, the boy's father has to do his part. He needs to mirror and affirm his son's maleness. He can play rough-and-tumble games with his son, in ways that are decidedly different from the games he would play with a little girl. He can help his son learn to throw and catch a ball. He can teach him to pound a square wooden peg into a square hole in a pegboard. He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger."
​

Dobson:

"Once again, this short synopsis from Dr. Nicolosi's book offers the most insightful understanding of the subject. "
​

source

Evidently homosexul males never had a chance to see their father's bigger penis.

Hmmmmm, never mind.

This excerpt from the provided link shows the compassionate man that Dobosn is:

I was deeply touched by Mark's letter. I know him well even though we have never met. He is representative of many other preteens and teens around the world who have awakened to something terrifying within—something they don't understand—something that creates enormous confusion and doubt. These kids often recognize very early in life that they are "different" from other boys. They may cry easily, be less athletic, have an artistic temperament and dislike the roughhousing that their friends enjoy. Some of them prefer the company of girls, and they may walk, talk, dress and even "think" effeminately. This, of course, brings rejection and ridicule from the "real boys," who tease them unmercifully and call them "queer," "[wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth]," and "gay." Even when parents are aware of the situation, they typically have no idea how to help. By the time the adolescent hormones kick in during early adolescence, a full-blown gender-identity crisis threatens to overwhelm the teenager. This is what Mark was experiencing when he wrote. And it illustrates why even boys with normal heterosexual tendencies are often terrified that they will somehow "turn gay."1

There is an additional dimension of pain for those who have grown up in a strong Christian home. Their sexual thoughts and feelings produce great waves of guilt accompanied by secret fears of divine retribution. They ask themselves, How could God love someone as vile as me? Mark even felt condemned for jumping up and down in the shower and for feeling the excitement it created. (That titillation by the sight of his own body is a classic symptom of narcissism, or a "turning inward" to fulfill his unmet gender-identification needs.) He either had to figure out how to control this monster within or, in his understanding, face an eternity in hell. There is no greater internal turmoil for a Christian boy or girl than this. At the top of Mark's letter he wrote, "I may sound very bad. I hope I'm not that bad."

 

[wanderingone]

I don't exactly agree with dobson here, esp in the context and no matter what he said it poorly.

BUT...

Once upon a time when I was a boy and dinosaurs and men walked the earth ... no not really, but lets say 35-50 years ago....

It was common to go to camp where there were communal showers and no one thought anything about it. In fact it worked out that the last day of camp was always a skinnydip. (Guess I should point out unisex camp). Reason? They wanted the kids at least rinsed off and packing wet bathingsuits ment nasty duffelbags when you got home.

Today it seems a big deal.

Hmm... well communal showers still exist, the skinny dip as far as i know may have been unique to your camp experience. I do know more than a few kids weren't and aren't terribly happy to have had to handle locker rooms, communal showers and the assorted other public displays required to get through childhood but I'd say a few dozen kids jumping in the lake is a little different than dad taking son in the shower and saying "let me show you son that we each have a penis and that makes us men, your mom well she doesn't have one"

Seeing what "we" all have" doesn't tell anyone what the opposite gender looks like and it probably won't help a kid who is feeling "different" -- most kids with any kind of gender identity problems aren't going to be reassured by what they already know, that everyone called "male"
or "female" basically has the same parts as everyone else with those neat little labels.

I do believe that children need parents who don't insist that in order to be male or female a child has to participate in a specific set of activities I do think we need to insist that traits and interests should be seen as gender specific and people should not be labeled "gay" or "straight" because of these things. I don't think that prevents or creates a gay or straight individual, I think that just helps prevent all kinds of confusion about what makes a person male or female.

I'm not sure why Dobson can't seem to split out orientation and gender identity as different matters. My cousin has never been anything but rather "traditionally" male. If dobson's list of things to look out for was applied to Steven when he was kid running around on the farm nobody would have looked twice at him as being "at risk" of being gay. He was my favorite cousin because he took us out hiking and rock hunting, he was always ready to build stuff with me and take me out on the horses. He did "boy" stuff that's why I adored him so much. Everyone else gave us dolls, Steven gave me my first set of tools when I was 4 and could be trusted every year on birthdays and christmas to provide me with gifts of star wars action figures, remote control cars and books about blowing stuff up.

This is of course the cousin I mention from time to time who married his long time partner when MA made it legal. His marriage is kind of boring like most. Doesn't do anything to my own marriage nor does it inhibit the marriage of anyone else. People making a commitment to each other are doing nothing to inhibit Dobson's view of perfect family, they may not be what Dobson considers the best family but they don't stop anyone else from living according to those principles.

 

[Washington]

This excerpt from the provided link shows the compassionate man that Dobosn is:

Excuse me for not reading it all, but I have no doubt he's as compassionate as the next guy, maybe even more so, but the fact that he's compassionate or likes tuna salad sandwiches has no relevance to the point I was speaking to. That he and Nicolosi attach an importance to a son seeing his father's bigger penis, without establishing a valid correlation between it and not becoming homosexual, strikes me as exposing oneself for the sole purpose of exposing oneself.

 

[quatona]

Focus on the Family and Dr. James Dobson represent a position on family and marriage from a Bible-based, Judeo-Christian stance.

They are welcome to adjust their lives of their consenting families and spouses accordingly.

How is the organization and Dr. Dobson wrong on the issues of family, children, and the overall health and stability it brings to society?

I don´t know what their position is.

When the family is structured as a husband and wife, married, and raising their children, is this not the plan for Christians to support?

As a Christian, how is Focus on the Family and Dr. Dobson in error?

I´m not a Christian. I´ll leave that part of the discussion to the Christians.

 

[Trevorocity]

Excuse me for not reading it all, but I have no doubt he's as compassionate as the next guy, maybe even more so, but the fact that he's compassionate or likes tuna salad sandwiches has no relevance to the point I was speaking to. That he and Nicolosi attach an importance to a son seeing his father's bigger penis, without establishing a valid correlation between it and not becoming homosexual, strikes me as exposing oneself for the sole purpose of exposing oneself.

I think the "point" Nicolosi was trying to make is that boys apparently can't tell the difference between males and females without observing their genitalia first hand. That somehow because they never saw dad's ding dong that curiosity makes them penis-crazed gays later in life. Its silly because hey guess what? I saw my dad's penis back in the day and I turned out gay anyway.

 

[Fantine]

Looking at his bio on Wikipedia (just to make sure I know his exact positions) I would say:

- I do not believe women have the "biblically-mandated" role to be stay-at-home-moms until their children are 10. As a matter of fact, throughout history, women have worked as hard as men in the fields. Stay-at-home-moms are a new concept. That being said, I was a stay-at-home-mom (well, I worked part-time) when my children were young. I was financially able to do so and was glad I did. But I certainly didn't do so because of biblical mandates. I just had a husband who earned a good living and I was able to do so.

- I think that autopsy evidence shows brain differences between homosexual and heterosexual men. Twin studies also show that homosexual twins raised in different families generally both become homosexual as adults.

- I do not believe in corporal punishment and raised three children without ever resorting to it.

- Perhaps his biggest mistake of all, he supported George W. Bush, worst President in US history, who confounds me by continuing to pull skunks out of the bushes even as a lame duck. Yuck!

- He believes in intelligent design and a literal interpretation of creation. (I, too, believe that God created the world, but that the Biblical account of creation left out a lot of significant details so that mere mortals could understand that "truth" behind it.)

- He called for the ouster of a prominent evangelical for believing in global warming.

Those are just some of my disagreements with Dobson.

 

[Washington]

I think the "point" Nicolosi was trying to make is that boys apparently can't tell the difference between males and females without observing their genitalia first hand.

Nicolosi wasn't talking about recognizing the difference in the two genders, but in preventing homosexuality from developing. And even if it was because "boys apparently can't tell the difference between males and females without observing their genitalia first hand." how would seeing their father's bigger penis accomplish that?

That somehow because they never saw dad's ding dong that curiosity makes them penis-crazed gays later in life. Its silly because hey guess what? I saw my dad's penis back in the day and I turned out gay anyway.

Of course it is, which is the point of my observation: there seems to be an unwholesome, underlying reason for the suggestion.

 

[keith99]

I think the "point" Nicolosi was trying to make is that boys apparently can't tell the difference between males and females without observing their genitalia first hand. That somehow because they never saw dad's ding dong that curiosity makes them penis-crazed gays later in life. Its silly because hey guess what? I saw my dad's penis back in the day and I turned out gay anyway.

Saddly I think you really have hit on what comes across in what he said. I do think there are issues if a boy has never seen his father naked. I'm not saying anything at all like what came across in his article, just that from time to time there are situations where you cahnge in hte same room or everyone (at least of the same sex and sometimes everyone) gets out of cold wet clothes in the bathroom or entry hall as quickly as possible. If in times like those there is undue concern of not seeing others undressed there is a problem.

But I can not think of any way that seeing daddys 'big one' can influence someone ending up gay or not. (Excepting perhaps if involved in an abusive situation).

 

[Bombila]

Now I'm curious as to what his take is on lesbians - do women, in his view, become gay because they never saw their mothers vaginas as little girls? Because that would have to be an even more flamboyant motherly display than a manly trip to the shower, given the 'hidden' nature of female genitalia.

 

[BigBadWlf]

Can a Christian misrepresent others work in order to support a position? My take is that if you have the Truth, you should not need to lie in order to support it. It should be evident to those who examine your position.

Exactly

Dobson has a long history of presenting false witness about gays and lesbains. Lying for Jesus is still lying and hate done in the name of God is still hate