Everyone Has Given Up On Me.

[247youth]

I was sexually abused and raped by my cousin at the age of ten. I repressed the memories of the abuse until I was sixteen, and the rape until I was 18. I'm still struggling with it to this day. I used to be addicted to Self Injury, but have almost overcome this. I still fall back to it from time to time. I'm now addicted to Masturbation and have tried countless times to stop. No one knows about this. Anyone who knows about the abuse and the self-injury has said that I have too many problems and has given up on me. I don't know where to turn. Counseling is not an option. I don't know what to do. I'm ready to give up on myself.

 

[restore]

Girl, My heart goes out for u.
The lord is there and will never give up on you. So please please never give up, too.

It is the normal symptoms u r having since u were abused in such a early age and of course u r doing a lot other things to release the reaction.
U need SUPPORT and LOVE and HEALING!

Let the lord starts the job.
Let Him in.
Let the other survivors help u , too.

Pm me anytime when u need to talk.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

You precious child of God.
I love you and I believe in you.

 

[Taylor43]

Hun you are a child of God he loves you.

I believe you and i will keep you in my prayers. This is a great place to find support and encouragement here.

Is there a free counseling place you can go to seek the help you deserve?

Lots of Hugs hun, we are here for you keeping you in my prayers

 

[goldenviolet]

hi! you came to the right place for fellowship and support! i'm dee... welcome to our family!
we sometimes need to go through "renewing of our minds": un-learning, and re-learning.
i'm very sorry for what you've been through. i can really relate from my own traumas. ~ but anyway, it's important for you to learn a few things... family is not always our healling hand, but rather a painfully harsh one in understanding and being there for us. it is a huge satistic that alot of families don't deal with sexual abuse: and it causes the dysfunction to stay a family secret: and ofcourse more people get hurt. it's also very common for families in dysfunction to either not know it, or deny it. you'll have to un-learn the things you've been exsposed to... and relearn blessings and create new memories that will heal your heart and bring you comforts...
in the mean time. surround yourself with God's word, God's people, and any profesional or pastorial leadership resources that deal with recovery.... and
don't feel guilty for not 'handling your trials in a picture perfect chistian manner'... sometimes there is no such thing. just know that in the mist of trials, faults, questions, and even complaints and doubts: 100% love, mercy, grace, forgiveness, salvation, and adoration from God; for just being His, is an unconditional gift.

Romans 12:2
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

seek and practice renewing, relearning, and finding blessings from the Lord. He says, seek, and you will find: because He's right there waiting for you to look, so He can give. ~ love dee

 

[.Sabre.]

It's not uncommon to feel like that, after being betrayed like that then it is natural to fear being abandoned or forgotten.

PM me if you need anything!

 

[Ramona]

I was sexually abused and raped by my cousin at the age of ten. I repressed the memories of the abuse until I was sixteen, and the rape until I was 18. I'm still struggling with it to this day. I used to be addicted to Self Injury, but have almost overcome this. I still fall back to it from time to time. I'm now addicted to Masturbation and have tried countless times to stop. No one knows about this. Anyone who knows about the abuse and the self-injury has said that I have too many problems and has given up on me. I don't know where to turn. Counseling is not an option. I don't know what to do. I'm ready to give up on myself.

Wow, friend...your story sounds incredibly similar to mine, although the rapes stopped when I was seven and I repressed the memories until shortly after I turned 19. There are days when I just wanna bonk myself on the head and say, "When are you going to get over this??" However, what we both need to remember is that criticism of ourselves will only make us feel worse - what we need to be is patient and gentle.

It isn't uncommon to fall into a deep depression (which may include SI, as it did for you and I) after such a nightmare, nor is it uncommon to develop an insatiable sexual appetite (or, in my case, cease to have a libido altogether for awhile). I would definitely recommend counseling - it's not a sign of weakness to ask for help. It is a sign of profound inner strength.

If you need a shoulder to lean on, though, I'm only a PM away.

Love,
Hallie

 

[shuntmama]

I will keep you in my prayers, never give up hope, hold onto it with all you have within you. The Lord loves you, you are his child, and he see's your pain.

Love in Christ, sarah

 

[shazabella]

I was sexually abused and raped by my cousin at the age of ten. I repressed the memories of the abuse until I was sixteen, and the rape until I was 18. I'm still struggling with it to this day. I used to be addicted to Self Injury, but have almost overcome this. I still fall back to it from time to time. I'm now addicted to Masturbation and have tried countless times to stop. No one knows about this. Anyone who knows about the abuse and the self-injury has said that I have too many problems and has given up on me. I don't know where to turn. Counseling is not an option. I don't know what to do. I'm ready to give up on myself.

Hey 247,

God will never leave you nor forsake you - when everyone else walks out God is still there standing strong with you. You are not your past and as hard as it is to deal with this stuff right now the storm will pass and you will see that beautiful rainbow. You are not the sin nor the shame of what was done to you but you are a child of a God who loves you so much. What was done to you was not "normal"but that doesn't mean you aren't worthy of love and support.

there is a beautiful song by Josh Groban called Don't give up (you are loved) because as the words say - you are loved.

The SI and the other stuff was your way of coping with something that should have never happened in the first place, you coped with it the best way you knew how. You are not to blame. There is a fantastic book by Dan B. Allender called "The wounded heart" and it deals with child sex abuse from a christian perspective and addresses some of these issues from the shame to addictive coping strategies.

I do believe you can be free from this with the right help and support but you need to be gentle with yourself. Just because everyone else has given up ... doesn't mean you have to.

If you want to talk to me feel free to PM me

- Shaz

 

[pennsyginny]

I was sexually abused and raped by my cousin at the age of ten. I repressed the memories of the abuse until I was sixteen, and the rape until I was 18. I'm still struggling with it to this day. I used to be addicted to Self Injury, but have almost overcome this. I still fall back to it from time to time. I'm now addicted to Masturbation and have tried countless times to stop. No one knows about this. Anyone who knows about the abuse and the self-injury has said that I have too many problems and has given up on me. I don't know where to turn. Counseling is not an option. I don't know what to do. I'm ready to give up on myself.

You must not give up on yourself. I was abused by my adoptive father for years, was raped as an adult and fell into abusive relationships. But there is always hope and God is always there even when you don't feel Him. It has taken a lot of years for me to get to this point where I feel that I am an overcomer not a survivor and not a victim. But there is hope and your strength comes from inside you and from the Lord and from others. I can't give you any easy answers. I've prayed and cried and counselled and been in group therapy. All have had their place in my healing. I know this site has been a help to me over the past year. Hang in there. DON't give up!