Encouraging husband to be spiritual leader of home?

[CounselorForChrist]

This is the way it is in my household as well. Although we don't read the Bible together and pray together very rarely. We do so separately.

My wife and I believe that we are both leaders within our home. That one takes over when the area of expertise swings in that person's favor. We also believe in mutual submission, and not wife only submission.

So what about Ephesians 5:22 where it says:
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

I was taught we are to read the bible and what it says is what we should do. Things are laid out easily so we can't (in most cases) get confused to their meaning. I think that verse above is pretty obvious and cannot be misunterpruted.

The below is a quote from an article. What is your opinion of it?:
The submission of a good wife is a glorious thing that is intended to help her and her husband to have a contented life together. Problems in life and in marriage are more or less inevitable but when a woman is submissive to her man it is much more likely that those problems can be resolved harmoniously, without unpleasant quarrelling and without bitterness and resentment. Those people who look down on submission as if it were something demeaning, degrading or humiliating are merely showing that they have no understanding of what submission is and that they are quite ignorant of its power.

Full article is here:
Submission of Christian wives to their husbands


This comment I am about to make is a general statement...Overall the fact there are couples that do so many things, especially biblical, seperatly makes me question why even get married? Marriage is about coming together and being one. If we don't follow Gods rules, then how can we claim to be like him. If he says be submissive, you be sumissive. Its not a debate. The bible makes it clear.

True you will still get to heaven if you live that way. But the road in your marriage may not be as easy I imagine since there are two strong headed people trying to take control when there should only be one.

I also think many christians who believe in "both being the head" listen to the worldly views that tell you we are all to be equal. Which yes, technically speaking whie the husband may be head, you are to some degree still equal. World views end up harming so many christians. Which of course the bible says we should not be influnced by them. The bible is our guide, if you disagree with something it says or go by anything else then your not living your life as good as you should be.

When I met my fiance, after a few weeks of talkign we got engaged and she told gave me access to her emails, facebook, bank account...everything! She said she was being a submissive wife and wanted to show me she wa a Proverbs 31 women. This made me so happy because honestly in America I almost never see a woman that acts like she should as a wife. This country does a great job of disrupting a christian view.

 

[Boidae]

So what about Ephesians 5:22 where it says:
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

I was taught we are to read the bible and what it says is what we should do. Things are laid out easily so we can't (in most cases) get confused to their meaning. I think that verse above is pretty obvious and cannot be misunterpruted.



Full article is here:
Submission of Christian wives to their husbands


This comment I am about to make is a general statement...Overall the fact there are couples that do so many things, especially biblical, seperatly makes me question why even get married? Marriage is about coming together and being one. If we don't follow Gods rules, then how can we claim to be like him. If he says be submissive, you be sumissive. Its not a debate. The bible makes it clear.

True you will still get to heaven if you live that way. But the road in your marriage may not be as easy I imagine since there are two strong headed people trying to take control when there should only be one.

I also think many christians who believe in "both being the head" listen to the worldly views that tell you we are all to be equal. Which yes, technically speaking whie the husband may be head, you are to some degree still equal. World views end up harming so many christians. Which of course the bible says we should not be influnced by them. The bible is our guide, if you disagree with something it says or go by anything else then your not living your life as good as you should be.

When I met my fiance, after a few weeks of talkign we got engaged and she told gave me access to her emails, facebook, bank account...everything! She said she was being a submissive wife and wanted to show me she wa a Proverbs 31 women. This made me so happy because honestly in America I almost never see a woman that acts like she should as a wife. This country does a great job of disrupting a christian view.

Are you forgetting the verse that proceeds that one?

Ephesians 5:21

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Just because she's my wife, she is excluded from me submitting to her?

"True you will still get to heaven if you live that way. But the road in your marriage may not be as easy I imagine since there are two strong headed people trying to take control when there should only be one."

We don't have that issue. Decisions aren't made unless we both agree on them. I do not have veto power over her, nor she over me. We believe that when we make a decision together, God is in it, when one vetoes the other, God may or may not be in it.

No marriage is easy, as all marriages take work, but what we have works, and it's God honoring.

"I also think many christians who believe in "both being the head" listen to the worldly views that tell you we are all to be equal."

Not at all with us. We both looked to the Bible for how our marriage is run. As I said, Ephesians 5:21 comes before 5:22. the Bible was never meant to have paragraph breaks the way that our English Bibles have them. It was meant to be read without those breaks. So, when read that way 5:21 fits in with 5:22 through 5:33. Our modern Bibles chose to break 5:21 from 5:22 in a separate paragraph.

My wife gave me access to her Facebook, Bank accounts, keys to her car, everything within two weeks of meeting her. She wasn't being submissive. She just wanted me to have these things because from the first two weeks it looked as though we were going to be married.

"The bible is our guide, if you disagree with something it says or go by anything else then your not living your life as good as you should be."

We are going by the Bible, we just interpret the passage differently than you do.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Hmm I think I understand a bit better what yor saying. I apologize for sound weird about it. You do bring up things I do too. I may be head of the house but I prefer we mutually agree on something.

Just because she's my wife, she is excluded from me submitting to her?

Again, good point. We do submit to our wives don't we. For instance if she doesn't want to have sex I would submit to that. I guess this does get a bit confusing since the bible says the man is the head and yet it says we are to be one. Being one would imply we are equal and have equal say.

Although I will say alot of articles do talk about most "head of the house" husbands don't undrstand what that means entierly. It doesn't mean you control your wife like a slave. It means you protect her, help her...etc because you are the man. So yeah like I said at the top, I do agree with some of what you said!

 

[Johnnz]

I also think many christians who believe in "both being the head" listen to the worldly views that tell you we are all to be equal. Which yes, technically speaking whie the husband may be head, you are to some degree still equal. World views end up harming so many christians. Which of course the bible says we should not be influnced by them. The bible is our guide, if you disagree with something it says or go by anything else then your not living your life as good as you should be.

Submission is quite clear. But in Ephesians commentators today recognise the chapter divisions inserted much later into Scripture were wrongly placed here. The section begins with 5:21 and concludes with 6:9. This section is a household code, common at that time, and typical of such codes with two major exceptions.

Firstly, Paul alone in the ancient world enjoined husbands to love their wives. In those days men ruled their households with absolute power. Paul confronts men's authority by presenting a model of a servant, totally inverting the values of Roman society. But this was entirely consistent with Jesus words:
Matt 20:25-28 Jesus called them together and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 26 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." NIV

This is totally consistent with the points made in the quote I gave in post #18.

A wife's submission is one of submissions to her husband's servant care and love And she too can be a gifted leader as many women in NT times were.

John
NZ