confused...

[SeventhFisherofMen]

...i’m an example of a person who cant be saved. I would wager there are plenty of others in my same predicament.

That there are plenty of people who have given up before they finish the race? I'm sure you're right about that. That CAN'T be saved, that's limiting Jesus's reach, surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save" Isaiah 59

Come on man really think about it. There's so much Jesus has to offer, and not just in Heaven but on Earth while you're here as well.

I used to think that God was all about rules but He's not. And honestly I'm sorry about if I was rude in my original response. Don't believe the lie that a Christian life is boring it's not at all that's just the media's portrayal of Christianity not the truth.

There are so many hobbies to do and friends to make and life to experience, life as God intended it to be experienced.

Don't give up too quick, don't give up too easily. Sex isn't worth going to hell over it never has been honest.

Honesty is the best practice with Jesus tell Him you're struggling tell Him how you feel ask Him for mercy and strength to help it's never too late so long as it is today!

pm if you wanna talk more or just respond either way I just want to talk to you at this point I don't care if you or anyone else does or does not agree I just want to figure out why the quick throwing in of the towel so to speak.

 

[Lifelong_sinner]

Is sin then a choice you wish to endure in? Or would you rather leave sin behind if you could?

obviously, i’d love to leave sin behind, but every attempt has been a failure.

 

[Lifelong_sinner]

That there are plenty of people who have given up before they finish the race? I'm sure you're right about that. That CAN'T be saved, that's limiting Jesus's reach, surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save" Isaiah 59

Come on man really think about it. There's so much Jesus has to offer, and not just in Heaven but on Earth while you're here as well.

I used to think that God was all about rules but He's not. And honestly I'm sorry about if I was rude in my original response. Don't believe the lie that a Christian life is boring it's not at all that's just the media's portrayal of Christianity not the truth.

There are so many hobbies to do and friends to make and life to experience, life as God intended it to be experienced.

Don't give up too quick, don't give up too easily. Sex isn't worth going to hell over it never has been honest.

Honesty is the best practice with Jesus tell Him you're struggling tell Him how you feel ask Him for mercy and strength to help it's never too late so long as it is today!

pm if you wanna talk more or just respond either way I just want to talk to you at this point I don't care if you or anyone else does or does not agree I just want to figure out why the quick throwing in of the towel so to speak.

you were not rude in your response, at all. You were spot on. I like comments like that, and i appreciate your truthfulness. My truth is, this is not a quick throwing in of the towel, this is years of struggle that ultimately always goes back to the source.
I have prayed so much about this, fighting it daily and always losing, that i just dont know what to pray for anymore. How many times do i have to keep praying for the same thing over and over before it happens??
And yes, i am aware that this is an addiction for me. Over 30 yrs of this. Im tired of this fight.

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

you were not rude in your response, at all. You were spot on. I like comments like that, and i appreciate your truthfulness. My truth is, this is not a quick throwing in of the towel, this is years of struggle that ultimately always goes back to the source.
I have prayed so much about this, fighting it daily and always losing, that i just dont know what to pray for anymore. How many times do i have to keep praying for the same thing over and over before it happens??
And yes, i am aware that this is an addiction for me. Over 30 yrs of this. Im tired of this fight.

It's ok to be tired, let Jesus just cary you.

What did Paul say? "I'm the chief of all sinners" He killed people, Christians, by hitting them with rocks! You are not so far gone that you have killed for your sin, and even if you were Jesus could still reach you.

Come on man please don't give up. Trust me as a guy I understand the desire man it's not something new that no one has faced, no temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. (1 Corinth 10:13)

It sucks to have these urges and feel helpless to do anything about it. Jesus knew what it was like to be tempted by lust, we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. (Hebrews 4:15)

And if you feel like you've read and read and been told this time and time again I apologize if I'm boring you I just want to remind you, Jesus is our friend, He knows temptation, He wants you to have life, I want you to have life I don't want you to feel like it's hopeless because it's not. I could continue but my main point is this:

I want to see you in Heaven someday, free of your sinful body, I will be free as well, I want you to make it to the end of the race. You say you're 49, you still have many good years to go, please please know Jesus is with you now, He is merciful, just talk to Him like a friend. He hears every word I promise.

 

[chevyontheriver]

obviously, i’d love to leave sin behind ...

Great.

... but every attempt has been a failure.

We cannot do it on our own. We have hearts of darkness. But God has figured out reconciliation, and empowered His Church to be about the ministry of reconciliation. So there is hope for you and all of us one way or another. We are, well some of us anyhow, on a long slow journey into holiness. We have conquered a thing or two and we have more to conquer. God brings us along to the extent that we let Him work in us.

I wanted to leave you with one prayer for the night. It is called the Suscipe, by Ignatius of Loyola. It starts out “take, Lord, receive”. I’m on my phone right now so cutting and pasting would be difficult for me but it should be easy for you to search it out. Wikipedia has an adequate article on it including the text of the prayer. Give it a look.

 

[bèlla]

If we are single, then we are not to participate in any sexual activity. Now, as a person who has, the question then becomes how can i give it up after already experiencing it?? That is what i meant to originally say.

I understand your question. Thanks for clarifying.

The libido affects everyone differently. Some experience greater yearnings for physical intimacy more than others. The want to be close to another can be reined in. It needn't rule you.

Desire is like a fire. The more you stoke it the more it grows. Stimulation will increase your want to have sex. Denial doesn't imply a lack of interest or a problem. It means you've contained it and reserve future engagements with a spouse.

The want to be close doesn't go away. Nor do you forget what you've done. When you surrender it to God you exchange your perspective on pleasure for His. That's what allows you to endure the wait.

It doesn't mean you won't have yearnings or moments when you slip up. But the commitment is forged in Him. Not the flesh. Unless you're naturally controlled and was abstinent on your own. You'll need reinforcement.

I know you said marriage isn't in the cards. But consider this. Give the problem to God and leave the door open. Ask Him to take it away or provide the outlet. You're not trying to do it on your own or painting yourself in a corner.

Sex is wonderful....truly marvelous....with the right one. Don't forget.

~bella

 

[Mark Quayle]

Learning how to have wholesome relationships of members of the opposite sex is so necessary. Women are to be treated respectfully as Jesus treated women. They are the flowers of the garden of life in my opinion; I believe it's a perfect analogy because they create beauty in life when we are healed of our OCD over sexuality. We need to keep it in God's rules; I've personally not done so well in this area but am currently in recovery.

I like CS Lewis's way of expressing this in his second book of his space trilogy: Perelandra. In this Eden-like place the protagonist is exploring as a visitor, he eats some fruit that is both delicious and satisfying, yet it would have seemed obscene to take more than he needed, though there was obviously plenty. Also, 'The Lady' (counterpart to Eve) was extremely beautiful, and naked, yet there was no inclination on his part to attempt make moves on her, nor to think sexually concerning her, to lust.

 

[PeterJames0510]

I like CS Lewis's way of expressing this in his second book of his space trilogy: Perelandra. In this Eden-like place the protagonist is exploring as a visitor, he eats some fruit that is both delicious and satisfying, yet it would have seemed obscene to take more than he needed, though there was obviously plenty. Also, 'The Lady' (counterpart to Eve) was extremely beautiful, and naked, yet there was no inclination on his part to attempt make moves on her, nor to think sexually concerning her, to lust.

Ahh, I've never read his Sci Fi trilogy; sounds like it would make some intriguing reading.

But yes, the original design was that we would not need clothing because it would never cross our minds to be unkind toward another in thought or deed.

 

[Mark Quayle]

Ahh, I've never read his Sci Fi trilogy; sounds like it would make some intriguing reading.

But yes, the original design was that we would not need clothing because it would never cross our minds to be unkind toward another in thought or deed.

I recommend you obtain all three, as you will want to read them several times. And read them in order, beginning with Out of the Silent Planet.

Out of the Silent Planet isn't hard reading, and you won't often have to go back and read again to follow what is going on. Even as a teen, I could hardly put it down after my third read-through, but it is not written for younger children the way the Narnia books were.

The other two are a little deeper to follow, but ultimately very satisfying.

The Narnia books, among many other things, suggested the odd notion of the irrelevance of time to God's way of things. The Space Trilogy suggests, (among many other things), the odd notion of the solidity/reality of the spiritual over against the worldview of those who inhabit this temporal reality. That's the CS Lewis thinking I have come to love.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

hello all. i am confused about something, lust. so, here is the problem, we are told that God created sex to be what sex is. if you're married, then its ok. but if you arent married, you cant have sex, which God designed for us. so how are we to deal with this?? how are we to hate something like sex?? how are we supposed to be able to go a lifetime without sex, despite our raging hormones?? i cannot understand how we are to hate something that every single person loves. please explain as if you're talking to a 16 yr old so i can understand this.

This is why I'm pro-self-pleasure. It's not ideal, certainly, but makes life with a libido bearable when sex isn't an option. Many Catholics and some others consider it wrong or sinful, and it's not my place to try to convince them otherwise.

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

This is why I'm pro-self-pleasure. It's not ideal, certainly, but makes life with a libido bearable when sex isn't an option. Many Catholics and some others consider it wrong or sinful, and it's not my place to try to convince them otherwise.

I remember when I believed this was ok, but one day as I was walking home I felt the Holy Spirit really nudging me to re-consider and pray about it. I still felt guilty for doing so and I prayed for forgiveness and resolved not to do so any more. All of a sudden I felt this wave wash over me like I was being rewarded for arriving at the correct conclusion and a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

I do view self-pleasure sexually as sinful though I'm not pretending it was easy to resist. I think if you're honest with JESUS He will help you get past this.

I'm sure there have been countless threads about if you can self-pleasure without lusting although I would go one step further to ask if self pleasuring a part of you that is meant to be shared in a marriage setting is something that God would allow.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

I remember when I believed this was ok, but one day as I was walking home I felt the Holy Spirit really nudging me to re-consider and pray about it. I still felt guilty for doing so and I prayed for forgiveness and resolved not to do so any more. All of a sudden I felt this wave wash over me like I was being rewarded for arriving at the correct conclusion and a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

I do view self-pleasure sexually as sinful though I'm not pretending it was easy to resist. I think if you're honest with JESUS He will help you get past this.

I'm sure there have been countless threads about if you can self-pleasure without lusting although I would go one step further to ask if self pleasuring a part of you that is meant to be shared in a marriage setting is something that God would allow.

Certainly, no one would ever argue that it is an substitute or complete replacement for sex within marriage, but the latter is not something everyone manages in this lifetime. It is all well and good to say that people who struggle with libido should get married, but it's not as if one can just land a spose at the snap of a finger. Many people just never find that right person, and are they supposed to go mad on account of libido? I think not. I would also be curious to know how you define lust. I believe many well-meaning Christians misunderstand it.

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

Certainly, no one would ever argue that it is an substitute or complete replacement for sex within marriage, but the latter is not something everyone manages in this lifetime. It is all well and good to say that people who struggle with libido should get married, but it's not as if one can just land a spose at the snap of a finger. Many people just never find that right person, and are they supposed to go mad on account of libido? I think not. I would also be curious to know how you define lust. I believe many well-meaning Christians misunderstand it.

Jesus didn't go mad and neither did Paul, both were single.

 

[Will Joseph]

"God created sex to be what sex is."

Honestly, sex could be a curse. If sex is for procreation, then I recall Genesis where the Lord transformed Eve to painfully bear children.

"How are we to hate something that every single person loves[?]"

There are some people who don't love sex. I don't love sex. There are also people with STIs where sex is painful.