Concerns about someone who has been divorced....twice.

[covenantwmn]

So many people on this forum think that divorced people should be treated like second class citizens. I don't agree with that.

As a divorced woman, I was so sad to find out that it's true, not everyone, but enough. Thank you for what you said, and sounds like she's a lucky woman to me!

 

[eatenbylocusts]

Well, I have been seeing this woman for over a month now. She has a good relationship with God, I often think she has some room to grow, but then again don't we all, and I do beleive that she is willing to grow.

Both marriages were not within in her control, she didn't make the decision to end them the other person did.

The thing I have learned about her is that due to her relationship experience, she has a higher level a maturity, she looks for deeper longer lasting qualities in a person. The things she likes about me is my faith, that I am a caring person, and she admires the fact that I am a very handy person around the house, meaning I know how to use tools and fix things.

So many people on this forum think that divorced people should be treated like second class citizens. I don't agree with that.

Having been divorced and never wanting to again, I can say that it has also changed the way I date. I won't go out with a non-christian and I find out the important stuff right away. Looks aren't in my top 10 anymore.

 

[GritsnGrace]

Having been divorced and never wanting to again, I can say that it has also changed the way I date. I won't go out with a non-christian and I find out the important stuff right away. Looks aren't in my top 10 anymore.

I can agree with this whole heartedly!! I have been divorced for 16 years, and I think I have been out on 2 dates My second husband was an extremely good looking man, but that's where it ended! He was, and still is, very cruel!!

Both marriages were not within in her control, she didn't make the decision to end them the other person did.

Stanfi, this was my case, too. if you really care about her, then just give her a chance to trust you. After 2 divorces, trust becomes a major issue for some.
God bless you both!!

 

[CurlyLocks]

After 2 divorces, trust becomes a major issue for some.

You got that one right!!!!

 

[SandyLou]

You got that one right!!!!

 

[~HopeFloats~]

Hard to say, but I think when a person has been divorced more then once there is more to know then just why it ended. Like one poster said tread lightly.

I am divorced and I am so scared to go through that again and honestly think it would take a great man for me to go there again.

As for being there 2 or 3 times there has to be more issues there.

My ex is been married 2 more times since me and all end the same way-- i feel sorry for these girls who get caught up in that.

 

[Pats]

I think talking about it is important. But one should tread carefully on judgements.

I am divorced twice now. Neither divorce was my choice.

I was married very young and a to a nonChristian the first time. So, I take my responsability for that one.

The second time, I marriend a man who seemed to be a very strong Christian I'd met at my church. I really took my time in getting to know and all seemed well.

He turned out to be exceptionally abusive and have a lot of issues, including but not limited to an unfaithfulness issue.

 

[MadFingerPainter]

I also wonder if being married when both are unsaved makes a difference. I've been divorced twice but both were not Christian marriages. I feel like now I could handle a relationship better but it would still be a struggle because I haven't got any self-confidence or self-esteem left. I have to admit...I fear the idea of getting into another relationship because it seems that no matter how much I give or try to make it work...I always get burned.

 

[GritsnGrace]

I also wonder if being married when both are unsaved makes a difference. I've been divorced twice but both were not Christian marriages. I feel like now I could handle a relationship better but it would still be a struggle because I haven't got any self-confidence or self-esteem left. I have to admit...I fear the idea of getting into another relationship because it seems that no matter how much I give or try to make it work...I always get burned.

I know exactly what you mean. I sorta built a wall to protect myself from ever getting hurt again. I don't think I could handle another divorce. I have just in the last 6 months or so, started bringing the wall down.

Like Pats, neither divorce was my choice. I made wrong decisions.

 

[MadFingerPainter]

same here mamabear. live and learn kinda thing. i don't want be alone for the rest of my life but i just don't feel ready to go into all that relationship stuff again right now. i still have issues i have to work out within myself.

 

[ulu]

. He is a softie who finds women when they are down. Then when they get back on their feet, they get bored with him.

Women are harsh!

 

[jcj3803]

So many people on this forum think that divorced people should be treated like second class citizens. I don't agree with that.

Heh. In the US, statistically as of recently anyway, 50% of all first marriages end in divorce. And I think the rate was even higher for people who self-identified as Christians! So you might was well flip a coin as you walk down the aisle. Looks like there are / going to be a LOT of "second class citizens".

While there are certainly legitimate reasons for divorce like abuse, addictions or adultery, I have come to believe that commitment is what makes a relationship last. Real commitment, not a "I'll stay committed as long as I'm happy or things are not too rocky" commitment. That and getting over the idiotic idea that any relationship will be easy or perfect all the time.

 

[hope4today]

ANOTHER 2006 THREAD

 

[GritsnGrace]

Somebody just went digging up old threads!

 

[eatenbylocusts]

I think the most important concern is what is her relationship with God like now and has it changed in the last 5 years?

My bf was married at a young age and his wife left him. The second marriage (military) lasted only 18 months after she was shipped out 6 months into the marriage. He tried to reconcile with both women. He got counseling after the second one and he shared with me what he had learned about the reasons he was choosing certain women.

Oh, well. Since we're dredging up the past..... This bf that I spoke of here who had been divorced twice was the most critical bf I've ever had. I can imagine why two women initiated the divorces.