[Catholics Only] I'm going on my first date! Any advice?

[HoneyBee]

Hello Catholics of Christian Forums!

So, I signed up on a Catholic dating website and was beginning to wonder if perhaps it was worth getting a membership or not, but then I ended up finding someone on there who has a similar background to myself. As we talked, we found that we have a lot in common and I think that maybe we could end up in a relationship that could work. But it's too early to tell at this point, I'm just being optimistic.

Anyways, we're going to go on our first date this weekend and it's going to be very casual. There's a park near the church I attend, and I'm going to take a walk with him at the park after church. I'm excited to be meeting him in person, but seeing as this is my first date ever, I want to be sure that I'm doing things right to put my best foot forward.

So what are some tips you might have for a situation like this? By the way, just to put this in perspective, I'm 26 years old and he's in his early 30's.

 

[chevyontheriver]

If he's any good he will not be in a heated physical rush. But if he's any good he will want to see if you would be good to marry, so he wouldn't let it drag on for years either. Enjoy it.

 

[Michie]

I’m praying for you. I think @spicoli would be the person to ask. He is recently married!

 

[HoneyBee]

I’m praying for you. I think @spicoli would be the person to ask. He is recently married!

Well then, I think a congratulations is in order! Congrats @spicoli!

 

[Susie~Q]

I remember my first day, I was 20 and so nervous. As to advice, well, just don't get into any type of deep conversations that involve politics, sex, etc, you know, things that are too controversial. Don't let yourself get into a situation that may be hard to get out of. Just be yourself, enjoy the walk and maybe have a snack at a local family restaurant.

As to what to talk about, I am sure you both have some common interests, so talk about those, don't talk too much about yourself, men, don't seem to like that, I know I didn't like when on a date all the man did was talk about himself.

Bottom line, enjoy the date, don't be too nervous and take it a step at a time.

 

[Skye1300]

Whatever you do, don't talk about politics or COVID!

 

[WarriorAngel]

Hello Catholics of Christian Forums!

So, I signed up on a Catholic dating website and was beginning to wonder if perhaps it was worth getting a membership or not, but then I ended up finding someone on there who has a similar background to myself. As we talked, we found that we have a lot in common and I think that maybe we could end up in a relationship that could work. But it's too early to tell at this point, I'm just being optimistic.

Anyways, we're going to go on our first date this weekend and it's going to be very casual. There's a park near the church I attend, and I'm going to take a walk with him at the park after church. I'm excited to be meeting him in person, but seeing as this is my first date ever, I want to be sure that I'm doing things right to put my best foot forward.

So what are some tips you might have for a situation like this? By the way, just to put this in perspective, I'm 26 years old and he's in his early 30's.

Be yourself.
Because you're good enough.

Never worry about putting the best foot forward, just relax about you.

 

[Gnarwhal]

I’m praying for you. I think @spicoli would be the person to ask. He is recently married!

You raaaaaang?

Hello Catholics of Christian Forums!

So, I signed up on a Catholic dating website and was beginning to wonder if perhaps it was worth getting a membership or not, but then I ended up finding someone on there who has a similar background to myself. As we talked, we found that we have a lot in common and I think that maybe we could end up in a relationship that could work. But it's too early to tell at this point, I'm just being optimistic.

Anyways, we're going to go on our first date this weekend and it's going to be very casual. There's a park near the church I attend, and I'm going to take a walk with him at the park after church. I'm excited to be meeting him in person, but seeing as this is my first date ever, I want to be sure that I'm doing things right to put my best foot forward.

So what are some tips you might have for a situation like this? By the way, just to put this in perspective, I'm 26 years old and he's in his early 30's.

Hey there! I would say yes it's worth the membership, but I understand not everyone has the same experience. As they say, "your mileage may vary" (YMMV). That said, my wife and I were able to begin and cultivate a long distance relationship thanks to Catholic Match, so here we are.

I think your plans sound great for a first date, nothing too serious - keep it light, and don't put too many expectations on yourself, him, or the situation. The more free you feel the more genuine you'll come across.

Not for nothing but my former roommate is my age (35) and his fiancee is 26 - they're getting married in July. Since women are often more mature than men for their age I think this difference tends to correspond well. That said, I'm actually younger than my wife, heh. She's a very youthful 38.

Some quick tips and advice:

- Don't be afraid to be up front and open about your intentions. As a Catholic woman, I'm assuming you're doing this to meet your husband. You're not interested in casual dating that doesn't go anywhere. Be clear about that, a man worth having is going to appreciate your openness and clarity. If he's a keeper he'll want the same things as you.

- Outside of that try to keep the conversation relatively benign, unless your both people who thrive on debate and relish a chance to argue politics or theology or some such thing, I would try to focus on lighter subjects that would be appropriate for an afternoon stroll in the park.

- That being said, don't be afraid to ask pointed questions. If his faith is important to you, ask him questions about it. If a certain sort of Mass is important to you, ask his thoughts about it. If you're in the habit of praying the rosary daily ask him if he does the same or if he'd be interested in joining you. If he's already shared his devotions with your ask him deeper questions about those.

The most crucial thing in finding a spouse is ensuring that our values line up, both in faith and morals. Things like politics are downstream of those. I don't know if you're on Catholic Match but they offer a good baseline where members check off which teachings of the Church they agree with (they're usually major tenants of the faith like "do you believe in the teaching on the Eucharist?"). But a persons answers to those tell you a lot, if they say no to any one of those things and you're a passionate and faithful follower of Christ as a Catholic, you may not want to hitch your wagon to them if, say, they're down to ordain women.

So get to know his faith as best as you can, if you enjoy your time with him then be open to another date as an opportunity to learn more about him. It's an adventure to discover a person, and it doesn't end at marriage - this is just the beginning. Discovery carries on throughout our lives together because we're growing and changing people. Thanks be to God.

Good luck, and if you have any specific questions feel free to ask!

 

[eastcoast_bsc]

Don't presume anything prior to meeting a person. Anyone can sound like a good match on the internet. Go in with an open mind and open eyes.

 

[Gnarwhal]

I just spent 20 minutes typing up a thorough advice post before I realized this thread's a year old and I already replied to it.

I'm tired.

 

[Sword of the Lord]

Yeah so, how did it go?