Can You Get a Soul Tie From Kissing?

[sherri]

lol, thanks B4A.

yeah I was a bit tired when I posted that.

But its basically an emotional and spiritual connection you feel with an individual even after the relationship ends; with whom you have been physical with. God created physical intimacy for marriage, not just sex. (not saying kissing is wrong outside of marriage) but it's purpose is to show affection and to lead to sex, really when you think about it. (not a peck on the cheek) but like really kissing. Anyways, God created sex and all that physical stuff to make man and woman one when married. When any or all of it occurs outside of married, the two people are still connected spiritually and will still feel attached to eachothers spirits even if they shouldnt be together or are no longer together. Those ties have to be broken off or one or both people will continue to suffer, feeling like they gave a part of their heart to someone else. Ever notice it's easier to recover from a relationship that wasnt physical than one that was? This would be a big part of it.

Thanks. You pretty much covered it.

Soulties (I made it sound like some kind of salty biscuit snack didn't it - lol), yeah - soul ties are the things you get like beauty said when you get intimate with someone. Not a peck on the cheek, but anything you'd do with someone you were in love with that you wouldn't do with anyone else. In otherwords any part of the bonding process that God created for marriage. So kissing and beyond.
And they're called soul ties because when you bond with someone physically, you start the process that makes you become 'one' as described in the bible. Sex is the end of the journey but everything before it is still part of it. And becoming one means you form a spiritual connection as well as an emotional bond.
When you sin by starting that journey or process out of marriage with someone you haven't made a lifelong commitment to (and it doesn't matter if you're sure you're going to later - you have to have already done it), then you still get that spiritual bond (because it happens regardless), but it becomes what's called an 'ungodly soul tie' because you've become connected, but not in a healthy way because of sin.
Basically (and I found this out the hard way from my own experience) - because you've started the process of becoming 'one' with someone, spiritual junk on another persons life can now get access to you because you now have a spiritual tie with them. So say they suffer from depression, or struggle with lust or jealousy or whatever, that stuff gets transferred to your spirit.

It might sound weird, but when you do things the right way, you get a good emotional attachment and bonding in the way you become one (and I'm not sure exactly how that works because I'm not married), but when you bond with someone without having made a lifelong commitment to them through marriage, you get an unhealthy bond. A little kiss and a little step down the journey and a little bond, so a little bit of stuff gets transferred, get carried away and end up in bed and you get the full deal because you've fully become 'one' spiritually with them.

And that's on top of what B4A said. But you won't really notice it unless you repent and God cleans you up, because it'll outwork itself subtly within and through your own personality and you'll think it's just 'you'. Your own fears, your own insecurities, your own attitudes towards people that are making it harder for you to relate to them, your own mood swings and feeling lousy, your own lack of self control or feelings of hopelessness, etc etc. And if the person has a lot of spiritual/emotional junk then it can even change your personality once it's added to your own if you go far enough with them.

We're often taught in the church (usually by omission more then anything else) that anything other then sex is ok before marriage but just sex isn't.

But all of it was intended by God for us to only share with one person, and only after we've committed to them for life. But as in many other areas, God doesn't give us all the details why, he just says do the right thing and leaves it to us.

(But at least if we repent he fixes it)

But yeah - I just mentioned it because it took me years to get through all the consequences of making out with past boyfriends and it wasn't a fun journey because I was pretty messed up which means I attracted guys like me. That meant a lot of emotional and spiritual junk on top of what I already had, even though I only had a few relationships, and my walk ended up so much harder then it needed to be. I wish I had understood all that growing up.

So yeah, it's something you don't want to find out the hard way like I did , which is why I just figured I'd mention it.

 

[Periann]

Although up until a while ago I would have been the last to admit that I had soul ties related to kissing, the truth is I also had a lot of painful baggage to be rid of which I've since left with God. Not all the guys I've kissed are ones that I would say I had a soul tie to (goodness I hope that's not the case ) but just one in particular....and now I know better than to participate in activities like that with future boyfriends. I recently told a friend that I plan on giving my next real kiss to my future fiance...presuming the ring and proposal comes before it. This caused her to snort and raise her eyebrows but I am dead serious about it. The next person I want to be 'one with' emotionally and physically is my future husband. And that's it.

Thanks Sherri for posting this is a great thread, and really good insights for me in particular.

 

[lunalinda]

Eh soul ties via kissing? Not for me. Not unless I had some strong feelings for the person. Perhaps it gets "watered down" after awhile? I remember it felt really, REALLY awkward to kiss my 2nd boyfriend after breaking up with my 1st bf. I felt so guilty like I was betraying him. Oh sure, those feelings of guilt were more intense when I was physically close to another guy, especially through a kiss, but I don't think it was just the physical that hurt; it was the emotional as well. So in my opinion, the only soul tie is the one that exists when I allowed myself to fall in love with a person who wasn't meant to be with me, and then having to break it apart. A kiss is just a kiss when it's not with someone you're in love with.

 

[ThinkofHim]

The Lord gave us wedlock to protect us and our children from a great deal of harm.

It doesn't always work out for the best-humans being the fallible creatures that we are..........But there are a lot of unpleasant consequences for trying to have your cake and eat it too.

I think the whole "frustrated soul ties" thing is pretty much a case of spiritual indigestion.

 

[Moonlight Lady]

Although up until a while ago I would have been the last to admit that I had soul ties related to kissing, the truth is I also had a lot of painful baggage to be rid of which I've since left with God. Not all the guys I've kissed are ones that I would say I had a soul tie to (goodness I hope that's not the case ) but just one in particular....and now I know better than to participate in activities like that with future boyfriends. I recently told a friend that I plan on giving my next real kiss to my future fiance...presuming the ring and proposal comes before it. This caused her to snort and raise her eyebrows but I am dead serious about it. The next person I want to be 'one with' emotionally and physically is my future husband. And that's it.

Thanks Sherri for posting this is a great thread, and really good insights for me in particular.

Amen Sister!

 

[JPPT1974]

God gives us virginity in order for us
To give our spouses the gift of virginity
On our wedding night
Make sense?

 

[Mandrake]

I really thought that "soulties" was an obscure STI for the first few posts....

 

[sweetlambofgod]

I really thought that "soulties" was an obscure STI for the first few posts....

so did I lol

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

I'm glad you made this post sherri. Thanks for further elaborating. I didnt want people to think you meant some sort of disease or cooties lol

I think this is something many people are ignorant of, for lack of a better word. I know I was until atleast a year after my last breakup when I told two of my friends(a married couple who are two of the most in tune with God and eachother people that Ive ever met) but I told them about how I was still struggling with seeing my ex and feelings of insecurity and jealousy because of his present girlfriend though i was so sure i was over him andcouldnt figure out why i was struggling like this. They explained soul ties to me and prayed with me ot break it off, wow that was a huge load off my shoulders. I never had sex with the ex(hey that ryhmes ) but we did kiss and cuddle and even....for lack of a bettter word, "grind" :o fully clothed of course. Anways I felt horrible about it and though a lot of people have done much worse it grieved my spirit in our relationship and though when i talked to him about it he said we should have a talk about setting boundaries becasue he had no idea it bugged me as he difinately didn't force intimacy. Well, I knew we should have that official talk but I dint want to because I enjoyed the intimacy even though I knew it was wrong, atleast for me it was. Anyway, I think this creates a sort of false intimacy with a person and needless to say the relationship went down the drain not that long after. This was extremely difficult for me to deal with and I realized afterwards that it had a lot to do with the emotional connection that I felt in part due to teh physical connection. I infact had waaaay stronger emotional feelings for him AFTER we broke upthen during the relationship, which never made sense to me. But it is starting to now. The emotional connection i couldn get rid of post breakup, was tied into the physical intimacy athat had been taking its place during, and shouldnt have happened outside of marriage, even french kissing to o much, and to think that i used to think this sort of thing was harmless fun!! :O

(just because it seems everyone else is doing it, doesnt mean its ok or beneficial....this applies especially in the church!)

 

[sweetlambofgod]

I guess it depends on the relationship and the people, cuz I have done everything you did but never felt anything like that well to the degree you did

 

[Blank123]

maybe its just me, but getting these soul ties from kssing just sounds strange to me. I'd understand it if there was a real emotional connection that stays with you after the relationship is over, but i know that can happen without there ever even being a physical relationship, and i'd actually expect that would happen in the breakup of any real and committed couple regardless of how far they went physically. so yeah to place it all on kissing... yeah i'm sure certain kinds of physical intimacy don't help at all, but i think that would only be one factor of the hurt that comes with dealing with the loss of someone you were once so close with and possibly had hoped to see it head somewhere.

but even having an emotional bond with someone IMHO isn't a bad thing, it depends though on who its with. its about guarding your heart. If you're going out with a grade A jerk and a nonChristian to boot, but oh wow is that person ever good looking! not exactly your best choice in an SO

but if you're going out with this amazingly godly person who you took the time to know before dating them and know this is someone you can see building a future with then it'd be silly not to create some kind of emotional bond with that person or you'll never be able to reach that point where you can get engaged or married. And actually if you take the approach where you do get to know them before dating them, i wonder how you would even reach the point of knowing you want to have a deeper relationship with them without having some kind of bond with that person

anydoodle.. just my .02 on the matter