I'm not so young, but I am free and single. I have decided to become celibate for the time being because I think it might make my life a lot less complicated and bring me closer to God. Do you think this is a good or bad idea? do you think that it can help my faith? I'm kinda thinking it's a step in the right direction. Comments please ......
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being celibate
- Thread starter Geoff m
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Not really sure what this celibacy is all about for christians. As I understand it the bible teaches that sex outside of marriage is sin and so non married christians dont have sex. So when does a non married christian become celibate?
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candle glow
whatever I want to be
Hello again, Geoff! Coincidentally, I am also celibate.
Celibacy is a very personal decision. It's not commanded by Jesus or his followers, but it is encouraged.
Very good question, mottie. I personally believe celibacy happens when people decide that want to stay single even if they could get married. In other words, even if a potential mate came along and was attracted to you, you would still choose to remain single, based on your convictions for WHY it's good to remain single.
Paul talked about remaining single because marrieds have the burden of being distracted by their spouses; concerned about what makes them happy or unhappy etc. It's not a bad thing to be married (and I know some very efficient married couples) but marriage DOES come with extra responsibilities which could become a problem for those who are married.
Celibacy is a very personal decision. It's not commanded by Jesus or his followers, but it is encouraged.
Very good question, mottie. I personally believe celibacy happens when people decide that want to stay single even if they could get married. In other words, even if a potential mate came along and was attracted to you, you would still choose to remain single, based on your convictions for WHY it's good to remain single.
Paul talked about remaining single because marrieds have the burden of being distracted by their spouses; concerned about what makes them happy or unhappy etc. It's not a bad thing to be married (and I know some very efficient married couples) but marriage DOES come with extra responsibilities which could become a problem for those who are married.
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Candle, thank you for explaining. So its like a vow to God to remain single. Personally I would avoid making such a vow, I think its better to just live unto God as you are day by and be open to all that He might want for us at any stage along our christian journey.
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candle glow
whatever I want to be
I think you are right, that it should not be a vow. Jesus did say that we should avoid making promises. I think it's more of a commitment based on personal convictions, so that it would take some fairly strong leadings from God before you would be convinced that God wants you to get married.
When it comes to romance, it's very easy to be flattered by the attention of someone who likes you and to think, "yeah this is the one" but a celibate will avoid making decisions based on good feelings and romance.
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I have been celibate since becoming a Christian over 10 years ago. I believe celibacy is simply the decision not to have sexual relations, and can be entered into for a variety of reasons. Since I have no wife, I remain celibate. I am not actively seeking a spouse, but I have not consciously decided to avoid potential relationships.
Since I do struggle with sexual attraction, I know I am do not have the gift of celibacy. As the Bible says, it is better to marry than to burn with lust. What I have learned over the years is how fundamental sexuality is to the carnal nature. Being deliberately celibate for a time may be a good idea, but if you feel sexual attraction for the opposite sex I would suggest that if the right woman comes along, don't neglect the possibility that this is who God has prepared for you. I made the mistake during Bible College of going into it with the determination that I would not get involved with any relationships during that time. In retrospect, I missed out on the possibility that I could have found a good wife at a college devoted to learning all about God's word. My decision to avoid relationships became a stumbling block when I got to know some of the Godly women there, and it became an unnecessary distraction of it's own.
May God bless you as you seek to follow Him and love Him with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength.
Since I do struggle with sexual attraction, I know I am do not have the gift of celibacy. As the Bible says, it is better to marry than to burn with lust. What I have learned over the years is how fundamental sexuality is to the carnal nature. Being deliberately celibate for a time may be a good idea, but if you feel sexual attraction for the opposite sex I would suggest that if the right woman comes along, don't neglect the possibility that this is who God has prepared for you. I made the mistake during Bible College of going into it with the determination that I would not get involved with any relationships during that time. In retrospect, I missed out on the possibility that I could have found a good wife at a college devoted to learning all about God's word. My decision to avoid relationships became a stumbling block when I got to know some of the Godly women there, and it became an unnecessary distraction of it's own.
May God bless you as you seek to follow Him and love Him with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength.
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candle glow
whatever I want to be
Hmm, interesting. I've never really thought of celibacy as a gift before, but more as a discipline which takes practice.
I wonder if Jesus also faced temptations like this. If he was fully human then he had hormones and genitals etc. I suspect that he stayed single as a deliberate choice by denying his emotional feelings/attachments at times when women may have expressed interest in him.
And, I think we can exercise the same kind of commitment (if we feel that's what God wants from us).
I also think you are correct that it's better not to burn with lust. Celibacy takes a lot of honesty and introspection. If you feel you can't handle it, then it's good to be honest about that, at least with God and yourself.
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Consider this:
Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth. For every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving: For it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer. 1 Tim. 4:1-5
Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth. For every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving: For it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer. 1 Tim. 4:1-5
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candle glow
whatever I want to be
Thanks for posting that, TR, but I can't see that anyone here has forbidden marriage. In fact, I made a point of saying that I don't think marriage is forbidden, and yet, celibacy is still the preferred option according to Jesus and paul.
Maybe you should clarify your point?
Maybe you should clarify your point?
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Generally speaking its the norm for marriage, that is what God wants, its takes a very strong leading from God to indicate that He wants one to remain single.
I think you are right, that it should not be a vow. Jesus did say that we should avoid making promises. I think it's more of a commitment based on personal convictions, so that it would take some fairly strong leadings from God before you would be convinced that God wants you to get married.
When it comes to romance, it's very easy to be flattered by the attention of someone who likes you and to think, "yeah this is the one" but a celibate will avoid making decisions based on good feelings and romance.
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Thank you for sharing this, pastoral care and teaching in this area, is in my opinion generally poor.
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candle glow
whatever I want to be
What God wants, from each individual regarding marriage, is up to God and the individual. Since Jesus set the example for celibacy and Paul explained the reasoning behind it, marriage is no longer the "norm".
Neither Jesus nor Paul commanded it, and both made provision for people to be married if that's what they really want, but both taught that spiritually speaking, celibacy is the new norm.
I think the rate of broken marriages suggests otherwise. People need a very strong leading from God before they get married. Too often, we mistake our strong emotional feelings for a genuine leading from God.
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princesa
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I don't make promises to God
Although Jesus had taken desires from me
I choose not to use the term
I don't plan to "go there". Don't date. Avoid eye contact
with men @ church because they all want wives. I hve
a bad history of backsliding so yea this is why
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candle glow
whatever I want to be
Ok thanks for clarifying that, princesa. I think whatever word works for you is fine.
For me personally, I see a difference between the two. My understanding of abstinence is that of a person who is quite open to marriage, but they refrain from sexual activity until marriage.
Whereas celibacy is more like a commitment not to get married, even if an appropriate partner came along. It's not something that I view as a promise, but more so a commitment based on the reasoning behind staying single minded for God.
For me personally, I see a difference between the two. My understanding of abstinence is that of a person who is quite open to marriage, but they refrain from sexual activity until marriage.
Whereas celibacy is more like a commitment not to get married, even if an appropriate partner came along. It's not something that I view as a promise, but more so a commitment based on the reasoning behind staying single minded for God.
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The life of Jesus and Paul can hardly be called the "norm", so no their single calling isnt the norm. Gods stated purpose is declared right at the beginning of the bible that it isnt good for man to be alone. Therefore the norm is for marriage but for a few God calls to remain single to fulfil a purpose of Gods calling upon their lives.
In your other post you used the word "commitment", that's your answer.
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candle glow
whatever I want to be
Actually, I said their example is the NEW "norm". But, maybe even that isn't a particularly accurate description, especially if it's based on each individual working it out with God personally.
Man doesn't have to be alone regardless of marriage. That's the benefit of Christian communal living, the way Jesus and his followers did it. Otherwise you'd have to say that Jesus did the wrong thing by remaining single.
The same kind of character that it takes to make a successful husband or wife is the same kind of character that it takes to be a successful friend. The only difference between the two is physical intimacy and even that can be substituted, to some degree, with holy hugs.
Also, in the beginning, God talked about people being fruitful and multiplying, but that command has well and truly been acted upon. Jesus ushered in a new mandate where people were meant to start focusing more specifically on a personal relationship with God, directly.
Special relationships between a man and a woman can be really amazing, but in his writings, Paul talked about how that wonderful relationship also has drawbacks, too.
It is learning to release ourselves from those kind of emotional attachments so that we can focus more wholly on God, which Jesus was getting at. Again, he made provision for people who could not handle this kind of teaching, but even with marrieds, Paul taught that they need to be working on cultivating an attitude where they are willing to forsake one another for God.
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