There is a connection between parsing a language and computation and thinking. Don't you imagine God should be able to think? One model of thinking is the Turing machine which requires state changes on an infinitely long tape storage device. If God can think then He cannot be unchanging. How can I think if I already know the answer to my question before I start thinking?
I don't, actually. The idea that God "thinks" in the same way that we do is odd to me, since we can only really model things in human terms, and turning around and applying them back to God in a direct sense just seems to be making a god in our own image. I don't think it works.
One model of God that seems useful to me is to imagine Him as a human and imagine this universe as a computer simulation in God's universe. God is born, lives, and dies in God's universe, but God can rewind our simulation, fast forward, change parameters, restart from the Big Bang, etc. From our perspective inside the computer simulation, we might experience an elderly God one moment and a teenager God the next moment.
My problem with this is that if this god is a being within its own universe that is simulating our own, no theological questions are addressed. Now you simply need to explain why that universe exists, why there is something instead of nothing with regards to this particular god, and the whole issue simply moves up another level.
If you think the existence of God is theologically necessary to avoid infinite regresses or to model what "necessary" being instead of "contingent" being would look like, in the Thomist tradition, then you need to make at least some concessions to classical theism. Otherwise you might as well believe in Artemis or Freya. (Which... sure, if you want to. Just don't get turned into a deer.)
But I know you've spent time with the Orthodox. I'm surprised you've never had this view seriously defended, since they generally insist upon it. And take a mystical enough approach that it really doesn't look dead at all.
Thanks, I read that post now. I'm glad to see that some modern theologians share my opinion about the omni-everything God. The only purpose of all these superlatives would be to flatter God, but the omni-everything God is impervious to flattery along with everything else; He is as responsive as a "solid rock"... so much for a relationship with God.
It's not about flattery. Usually, it's about Aristotelian metaphysics and making sense of what the term "God" really means at all.
I'd recommend spending some time over at
Ed Feser's blog if you want to get a sense for how it works. He's probably the strongest modern defender of this view, and has managed to convert both theists who disagreed and the occasional skeptic to this approach. (Actually, it's best to read both him and David Bentley Hart together--one is very logically oriented and the other very poetic, so there's a lot of synergy between their styles. Even if they don't exactly get along.)
The theologians who make God so perfect and abstract also make him dead. They might as well be atheists IMO.
We do occasionally get accused of atheism, yes. Which is a little bit odd, though there is a point at which negative theology does slip into fullblown agnosticism. Too much of a focus on God as unknowable and you can end up saying nothing whatsoever.
Christianity usually doesn't run into this problem, though. Trinitarian theology in particular really revolutionizes the concept--now you're positing a grounds of being that is both unity and diversity, and you can talk about God in truly dynamic terms as you've got this eternal interaction between the persons. Trinitarianism is... difficult conceptually, but in a way, I think it's actually the most coherent form of classical theism. (Which is funny, since it means that the one thing I always thought most insane about Christianity is what's likely to finally overthrow me altogether.

)
On the other hand, I don't think Trinitarianism works
at all except in the concept of classical theism. If we do not think of God as a particular instance of being, but as Being Itself, then it's not incoherent to say that God is also in some way diverse and three persons. I have no idea how God can be both one person and three persons at the same time, though. That's polytheism.