Am I idolizing my crush or is it OCD?

[TJ Smith]

First, I'll give some context. So I've had this crush for almost a year now, and she has actually become one of my best friends. (I told her in March that I liked her but wanted to pursue friendship, which is what I believe God wanted me to do.) However, a few months ago, in an extremely clear way, God has told me that a time will come where we will want me to pursue her romantically. It just wasn't the time then and isn't the time now for many reasons. Now God has used her in my life and me in her life in a lot of crazy ways over the year which has been super cool to see.

Anyways, I am currently clawing out of potentially the worst mental spiral of my life filled with intrusive thoughts, doubts of my character, fear of the future, doubts, overthinking if things were sin, you name it. And in the midst of this spiral, when everything in my life and mind was fuzzy, I had this profound moment where God convicted me. It wasn't like the doubts that made me question if it was my OCD or the Spirit, but it was actually clear. And what it was was that I had fallen into some idolatry of this girl. I humbly repented and dug into my soul and realized that I wanted God to use her to speak to me or help me out (like He has before) so badly that I was almost waiting on her to move rather than God. Also, I straight up think about her a lot. Also with the digging, I realized the idolatry started only after my downward spiral (only 1 week old). So I've been really pulling into God in prayer and worship, and I even was able to bowl with her yesterday and my heart felt pure. I saw her as what she was, another sinner in need of forgiveness trying her best to follow God, a sister in Christ, and a person that the Spirit has gracefully used to show me love before. Also, before the bowling I had a very personal worship session with God and felt like I was falling in love with Him again.

Now today everything feels fuzzy. I don't feel the same desire to worship God (I still did though), and my mind keeps telling me that there is still some idolatry to take care of. On one hand, I know I fell into this sin before, but on the other hand, I'm doubting everything, even the foundational principles of my character and I know Satan is using OCD to really mess with me. I'm struggling to discern if this girl is still an idol or not. My mind drifts to her a lot, but that could also be an innocent part of crushes. Further, even when I clear my mind of her, for whatever reason, I'm struggling to remember the passionate soul-driven reasons for worship beyond it simply being an obligation . It could easily be that Satan is just attacking my love for God, and that is the root. But it could also be that that I'm caring more about this girl and less about God. I honestly don't know but I always overswing pendulums so I could just use some advice for how to discern. At this point I normally assume all obsessive doubts like this are OCD and ignore them, but idolatry is a big deal, and I want to respect that. I want that intimate, intense desire for God, but it seems so inconsistent and swingy right now.

Thank you all in advance!

-TJ

 

[returntosender]

I'm beginning to think I might have been ocd all of my life,lol. When I am attracted to someone I feel and act as you do. It usually never comes to fruition because I don't act on it. I think normal feelings and actions can be labeled incorrectly. Unless of course I am ocd. If I were you I would take a deep breath and relax. If it suits you to wait on God then do so. To me it seems like a crush not idolitry. Sorry I couldn't have been more help.

 

[Tolworth John]

At this point I normally assume all obsessive doubts like this are OCD and ignore them, but idolatry is a big deal, and I want to respect that. I want that intimate, intense desire for God, but it seems so inconsistent and swingy right now.

Are you aware of the free web site ' 25 tips for successfully treating your OCD ' ?
It is well worth a look.

Love an idolatry. I think every person/Christian who is in love with someone struggles with this.
If you love her, you will want what is best for her.
That is the difference between lust and love.

Idolatry, well anything that comes between us and God can be called that, work, hobby, marriage, God knows our deepest thoughts, he made us to love, so I don't think he is offended by our being in love.

 

[Trusting in Him]

You need to talk to her and find out how she feels. If she feels the same about you, she will understand your situation and that you will need to take things slow. If she is a Christian, it may be help both to spend time praying together and seeking the Lord for both of you to know how to address this.

Taking things slowly and not feeling pressure to make long term decisions before you are both ready, may enable both of you to know what is right for both of you and give time to understand your feelings more fully. This won't be time that is wasted, but an oppotunity to have time to enjoy doing things together and really getting to know more about each other.

Wishing you every blessing,
Mark

 

[eleos1954]

First, I'll give some context. So I've had this crush for almost a year now, and she has actually become one of my best friends. (I told her in March that I liked her but wanted to pursue friendship, which is what I believe God wanted me to do.) However, a few months ago, in an extremely clear way, God has told me that a time will come where we will want me to pursue her romantically. It just wasn't the time then and isn't the time now for many reasons. Now God has used her in my life and me in her life in a lot of crazy ways over the year which has been super cool to see.

Anyways, I am currently clawing out of potentially the worst mental spiral of my life filled with intrusive thoughts, doubts of my character, fear of the future, doubts, overthinking if things were sin, you name it. And in the midst of this spiral, when everything in my life and mind was fuzzy, I had this profound moment where God convicted me. It wasn't like the doubts that made me question if it was my OCD or the Spirit, but it was actually clear. And what it was was that I had fallen into some idolatry of this girl. I humbly repented and dug into my soul and realized that I wanted God to use her to speak to me or help me out (like He has before) so badly that I was almost waiting on her to move rather than God. Also, I straight up think about her a lot. Also with the digging, I realized the idolatry started only after my downward spiral (only 1 week old). So I've been really pulling into God in prayer and worship, and I even was able to bowl with her yesterday and my heart felt pure. I saw her as what she was, another sinner in need of forgiveness trying her best to follow God, a sister in Christ, and a person that the Spirit has gracefully used to show me love before. Also, before the bowling I had a very personal worship session with God and felt like I was falling in love with Him again.

Now today everything feels fuzzy. I don't feel the same desire to worship God (I still did though), and my mind keeps telling me that there is still some idolatry to take care of. On one hand, I know I fell into this sin before, but on the other hand, I'm doubting everything, even the foundational principles of my character and I know Satan is using OCD to really mess with me. I'm struggling to discern if this girl is still an idol or not. My mind drifts to her a lot, but that could also be an innocent part of crushes. Further, even when I clear my mind of her, for whatever reason, I'm struggling to remember the passionate soul-driven reasons for worship beyond it simply being an obligation . It could easily be that Satan is just attacking my love for God, and that is the root. But it could also be that that I'm caring more about this girl and less about God. I honestly don't know but I always overswing pendulums so I could just use some advice for how to discern. At this point I normally assume all obsessive doubts like this are OCD and ignore them, but idolatry is a big deal, and I want to respect that. I want that intimate, intense desire for God, but it seems so inconsistent and swingy right now.

Thank you all in advance!

-TJ

A sound relationship is based in Christ first .... if the both of you are putting Christ first and then forming your relationship from there then you have what you need. One's relationship with the Lord needs to be nurtured ... just like any relationship and that is done by spending time with Him through His Word and through prayer .... so the two of you should be doing this together and if you do the both of you will be profoundly blessed.

Is this the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?

 

[Mari17]

First, I'll give some context. So I've had this crush for almost a year now, and she has actually become one of my best friends. (I told her in March that I liked her but wanted to pursue friendship, which is what I believe God wanted me to do.) However, a few months ago, in an extremely clear way, God has told me that a time will come where we will want me to pursue her romantically. It just wasn't the time then and isn't the time now for many reasons. Now God has used her in my life and me in her life in a lot of crazy ways over the year which has been super cool to see.

Anyways, I am currently clawing out of potentially the worst mental spiral of my life filled with intrusive thoughts, doubts of my character, fear of the future, doubts, overthinking if things were sin, you name it. And in the midst of this spiral, when everything in my life and mind was fuzzy, I had this profound moment where God convicted me. It wasn't like the doubts that made me question if it was my OCD or the Spirit, but it was actually clear. And what it was was that I had fallen into some idolatry of this girl. I humbly repented and dug into my soul and realized that I wanted God to use her to speak to me or help me out (like He has before) so badly that I was almost waiting on her to move rather than God. Also, I straight up think about her a lot. Also with the digging, I realized the idolatry started only after my downward spiral (only 1 week old). So I've been really pulling into God in prayer and worship, and I even was able to bowl with her yesterday and my heart felt pure. I saw her as what she was, another sinner in need of forgiveness trying her best to follow God, a sister in Christ, and a person that the Spirit has gracefully used to show me love before. Also, before the bowling I had a very personal worship session with God and felt like I was falling in love with Him again.

Now today everything feels fuzzy. I don't feel the same desire to worship God (I still did though), and my mind keeps telling me that there is still some idolatry to take care of. On one hand, I know I fell into this sin before, but on the other hand, I'm doubting everything, even the foundational principles of my character and I know Satan is using OCD to really mess with me. I'm struggling to discern if this girl is still an idol or not. My mind drifts to her a lot, but that could also be an innocent part of crushes. Further, even when I clear my mind of her, for whatever reason, I'm struggling to remember the passionate soul-driven reasons for worship beyond it simply being an obligation . It could easily be that Satan is just attacking my love for God, and that is the root. But it could also be that that I'm caring more about this girl and less about God. I honestly don't know but I always overswing pendulums so I could just use some advice for how to discern. At this point I normally assume all obsessive doubts like this are OCD and ignore them, but idolatry is a big deal, and I want to respect that. I want that intimate, intense desire for God, but it seems so inconsistent and swingy right now.

Thank you all in advance!

-TJ

Boy, do I know how you feel! I don't know if it's part of having OCD or what, but when there's something or someone I really like, I tend to veer into obsessiveness. I'm still trying to learn how to deal with it, but I think I'm learning that when I start noticing myself idolizing something or someone, I have to practice handing it over to God and letting Him have the right to do whatever He wants with it. In some cases, that might mean giving up the thing entirely; in other cases, it might just mean mentally releasing it so that I'm no longer idolizing it in an unhealthy way.

My only other thought for now is that sometimes we don't "feel" a certain way that we want (even spiritually), and at those times maybe we just have to focus on our actions and doing what we know is right, regardless of what our feelings say. I know how confusing this all is! I pray that God will continue to grow you and give you wisdom and clarity!