Is it “unequally yoked” for an Orthodox to marry a Protestant?

[SingularityOne]

Just ended a relationship due to faith differences and this is a question that has been on my mind due to some of the conflict centering around it. What are your guys/gals’ thoughts regarding the Mind of Christ about this?

 

[Lukaris]

I am (& will always be) single but I do not think has generally applied. There are shared Christian, traditional marriages in our parish & have been for generations.

As society changes though, this will have to be discerned & scrutinized much more.

 

[SingularityOne]

I am (& will always be) single but I do not think has generally applied. There are shared Christian, traditional marriages in our parish & have been for generations.

As society changes though, this will have to be discerned & scrutinized much more.

Do you mean you have decided to stay single for the rest of your life? Maybe I’m reading your first sentence wrong.
Also, could you flesh out the second sentence a bit for me? Do you mean that there are the kinds of relationships I mentioned in the OP in your parish? If so, do the ones that aren’t Orthodox have the ability to take communion?

It seems so gray… commenting on your last sentence.

 

[friend of]

Marriage between a protestant and an orthodox is still far superior to being married to an atheist. As long as you both focus on Christ as the centerpiece of your marriage and lives I see no reason to prohibit such a union.

But that's just me.

 

[Dorothea]

I personally think that it depends on the couple who are wanting to marry. They would need to discuss where they wanted to go to church. Would they take turns going to each other's churches together, every other week? And discuss having children and having them baptized in which church. It also depends on how devout and dedicated you are to your faith. And if the other person is just as faithful to her own beliefs, would there be compromises made between the both of them?

Just my thoughts.

 

[peregrinus2017]

I became Orthodox after I was married and my kids were mostly grown (my youngest turns sixteen this year). None have become Orthodox, they don't seem to see the point. They are very accommodating, I will be spending all of Holy week away. Love goes a long way in making things work. That being said, I think it would be very unwise for an Orthodox person to marry outside of Orthodoxy. Awful lot of issues that would need to be overcome or compromised on. Even though my wife and I have a good relationship, there is definitely a spiritual chasm there that saddens me. As well, marriage in the Orthodox church is or should be understood very differently from the world and also other Christian groups.

 

[ArmyMatt]

yes, it is. even if you can make it work.

 

[SingularityOne]

Marriage between a protestant and an orthodox is still far superior to being married to an atheist. As long as you both focus on Christ as the centerpiece of your marriage and lives I see no reason to prohibit such a union.

But that's just me.

Yeah, I can see this side. But, I also could see some conflict ensuing due to different conceptions of Christ.

 

[SingularityOne]

I personally think that it depends on the couple who are wanting to marry. They would need to discuss where they wanted to go to church. Would they take turns going to each other's churches together, every other week? And discuss having children and having them baptized in which church. It also depends on how devout and dedicated you are to your faith. And if the other person is just as faithful to her own beliefs, would there be compromises made between the both of them?

Just my thoughts.

Yeah, I think this is something that could work too. However, what I’m trying to figure out is, which compromises are “too far.” Although, I hear you saying it depends on the devoutness of faith of each individuals. Which still leads me to it being subjective at the end of the day… it doesn’t seem like there’s a hard and fast “right/correct” answer. But, I also have a hard time seeing how since marriage is a sacrament and the Eucharist is a sacrament, how one can happen and the other can’t happen within a Orthodox-non-Orthodox marriage. You know?

 

[SingularityOne]

yes, it is. even if you can make it work.

Could you explain how it is “unequally yoked” so I can understand what’s behind your answer more in a systematic way? I’d like to know your reasoning father.

 

[ArmyMatt]

Could you explain how it is “unequally yoked” so I can understand what’s behind your answer more in a systematic way? I’d like to know your reasoning father.

Orthodoxy and Protestantism differ on basically everything to some degree (to include marriage).

 

[Justin-H.S.]

I broke up with an Evangelical gf because she did not want me to be Orthodox, although we tried to accommodate each other as much as feasible, but in the end it just wasn’t God’s will for us.

 

[zippy2006]

Could you explain how it is “unequally yoked” so I can understand what’s behind your answer more in a systematic way? I’d like to know your reasoning father.

It seems to me that from an Orthodox point of view the Orthodox spouse is going to have more access to grace (through the sacraments and full liturgical praxis) and superior knowledge (through Orthodox doctrine). This would create an objective inequality between the spouses, one which the Orthodox spouse would also be self-consciously aware of.

So yeah, there would be an inequality in the "yoking", albeit less of an inequality than in a marriage between an Orthodox and a non-Christian.

 

[SingularityOne]

Orthodoxy and Protestantism differ on basically everything to some degree (to include marriage).

So, would that mean that there is an “unequal yoking” in that we both believe in a different Christ? Or would you put it in a different way?

 

[rusmeister]

As a long-time husband and parent:
I don’t think it’s a good idea. You’re talking about being divided, not in tastes, preferences, favorite movies or whatever, but in the central thing that tells you what truth is, what marriage is, what salvation is, and how you live that out week after week. Will she pray with you before icons? Go to Liturgy with you? Go to confession before a priest? That says tons to children about whether what you believe is worth paying attention to.

In choosing a Protestant bride who will not convert, you’re saying that simply being married to someone is more important than the truth of the Faith and necessity of following it.

 

[SingularityOne]

I broke up with an Evangelical gf because she did not want me to be Orthodox, although we tried to accommodate each other as much as feasible, but in the end it just wasn’t God’s will for us.

Yeah. It’s hard because I just had the same thing happen to me. Mine said that she’d compromise to half and half liturgy/her church and I honestly don’t know if I’d be okay partaking of the Eucharist half as many times a year as usual… sorry about your experience as I know dating is hard for us Orthodox being such a small minority in the US. This “unequal yoking” seriously puts us in a pickle.

 

[SingularityOne]

As a long-time husband and parent:
I don’t think it’s a good idea. You’re talking about being divided, not in tastes, preferences, favorite movies or whatever, but in the central thing that tells you what truth is, what marriage is, what salvation is, and how you live that out week after week. Will she pray with you before icons? Go to Liturgy with you? Go to confession before a priest? That says tons to children about whether what you believe is worth paying attention to.

In choosing a Protestant bride who will not convert, you’re saying that simply being married to someone is more important than the truth of the Faith and necessity of following it.

Yeah, I don’t want my children seeing the truth of the Faith as less than utmost importance, so I see what you’re saying here.

I agree with most everything here. She was thinking icons were idols and saints weren’t to be “worshiped” (I explained why they weren’t worshiped… but venerated, and how icons aren’t idols, but glorify Christ-God, but she wasn’t for it). It’s just a chasm of a feeling of a disconnection regarding spiritual intimacy if I had to put the feeling into words… maybe I’m just complaining here though.

 

[ArmyMatt]

So, would that mean that there is an “unequal yoking” in that we both believe in a different Christ? Or would you put it in a different way?

yes, unfortunately.

 

[Lukaris]

Do you mean you have decided to stay single for the rest of your life? Maybe I’m reading your first sentence wrong.
Also, could you flesh out the second sentence a bit for me? Do you mean that there are the kinds of relationships I mentioned in the OP in your parish? If so, do the ones that aren’t Orthodox have the ability to take communion?

It seems so gray… commenting on your last sentence.

I have always been single but had always left open the possibility of being married. At 58, I would rather stay single for the rest of my life.

Non Orthodox spouses married to the Orthodox in our parish do not receive holy communion in our parish. I believe the breakdown of once more common Christian faith among non Orthodox Christian groups ( mostly “mainline” Protestants) will have to be scrutinized much more among married couples as time goes on.

I believe an Orthodox person being married to a Methodist ( for ex.) in 1980 was a better situation than now.

 

[ArmyMatt]

I will add though, I have seen on more than one occasion where the non-Orthodox spouse becomes Orthodox because of the Orthodox one.