Question about a vow made to God

[MountainMan17]

A while ago, I vowed / promised to God that I would not play cards.

I made this vow because I really enjoyed card games, but I had inner conflict as to whether playing cards was evil / sinful or not. I had some misunderstandings on the historical origins of playing cards which led me into this mindset. Just to clarify, we are talking about family card games / solitaire. I am not a gambler.

Now, I have come to realize this was a legalistic understanding that I had, kind of like the Pharisees who added extra rules not found in the Scriptures. I would like to be able to enjoy non-gambling card games with my family as a way to build our family relationships.

My question is, am I bound under this vow I made to God, or may I confess it as sinful and be at liberty to enjoy playing cards with my family?

If the Lord wants me to keep this vow, I am glad to do so. But if it is foolish and legalistic to keep it, I don't want to continue keeping it either. I'm torn on what to do because of Scriptures such as Psalm 15:4 - "in whose eyes a vile person is despised, but who honors those who fear the LORD; who swears to his own hurt and does not change;" (ESV)

However, perhaps the teaching in Leviticus 5:4-6 would apply, since I made a rash vow?

Any scriptural counsel / advice would be much appreciated.

Thank you in advance.

 

[Jeshu]

i think you need to repent of making that vow and ask God to annul it in His love. Then thank Him for grace and gladly join your freedom in Christ again.

 

[Mark Quayle]

A while ago, I vowed / promised to God that I would not play cards.

I made this vow because I really enjoyed card games, but I had inner conflict as to whether playing cards was evil / sinful or not. I had some misunderstandings on the historical origins of playing cards which led me into this mindset. Just to clarify, we are talking about family card games / solitaire. I am not a gambler.

Now, I have come to realize this was a legalistic understanding that I had, kind of like the Pharisees who added extra rules not found in the Scriptures. I would like to be able to enjoy non-gambling card games with my family as a way to build our family relationships.

My question is, am I bound under this vow I made to God, or may I confess it as sinful and be at liberty to enjoy playing cards with my family?

If the Lord wants me to keep this vow, I am glad to do so. But if it is foolish and legalistic to keep it, I don't want to continue keeping it either. I'm torn on what to do because of Scriptures such as Psalm 15:4 - "in whose eyes a vile person is despised, but who honors those who fear the LORD; who swears to his own hurt and does not change;" (ESV)

However, perhaps the teaching in Leviticus 5:4-6 would apply, since I made a rash vow?

Any scriptural counsel / advice would be much appreciated.

Thank you in advance.

For whatever it may be worth to you, I think there are a lot more serious things to get right with God about, than the weak vow of an ignorant self-important mind. This is not about you, but about God.

 

[JoeT]

A while ago, I vowed / promised to God that I would not play cards.

I made this vow because I really enjoyed card games, but I had inner conflict as to whether playing cards was evil / sinful or not. I had some misunderstandings on the historical origins of playing cards which led me into this mindset. Just to clarify, we are talking about family card games / solitaire. I am not a gambler.

Now, I have come to realize this was a legalistic understanding that I had, kind of like the Pharisees who added extra rules not found in the Scriptures. I would like to be able to enjoy non-gambling card games with my family as a way to build our family relationships.

My question is, am I bound under this vow I made to God, or may I confess it as sinful and be at liberty to enjoy playing cards with my family?

If the Lord wants me to keep this vow, I am glad to do so. But if it is foolish and legalistic to keep it, I don't want to continue keeping it either. I'm torn on what to do because of Scriptures such as Psalm 15:4 - "in whose eyes a vile person is despised, but who honors those who fear the LORD; who swears to his own hurt and does not change;" (ESV)

However, perhaps the teaching in Leviticus 5:4-6 would apply, since I made a rash vow?

Any scriptural counsel / advice would be much appreciated.

Thank you in advance.

How important to God is a hairdo or a friendly game between friends? I'd say very important when it is raised to the level of deliberately violating what what belongs to God or what is sacred to God

Breaking a promise to another person is wrong in that respect and honor is lost between two people. When you make a vow with God and break it there it is a sacrilegious act suggesting that God is not sufficiently worthy you should honor Him, taking back the honor due Him. It's a mortal sin.

"A vow is a deliberate and free promise made to God concerning a possible and better good which must be fulfilled by reason of the virtue of religion," A vow is an act of devotion in which the Christian dedicates himself to God or promises him some good work. By fulfilling his vows he renders to God what has been promised and consecrated to Him. The Acts of the Apostles shows us St. Paul concerned to fulfill the vows he had made.[Cf. Acts 18:18; 21:23-24]. [CCC 2102]

The act in a vow is not what is important, it is the honor and glory you pay God. Breaking the vow you take away or desecrate what rightly belongs to God.

I'd suggest keeping the vow or ask a priest to help you transfer the obligation, so to speak, doubling down, to substituting the vow with another.

JoeT

 

[John Helpher]

If the Lord wants me to keep this vow,

Jesus said we shouldn't make any vows, for any reason, (perhaps with the exception of marriage, but even then, the marriage itself is the vow; it is part of what marriage is that the partners commit to being faithful to one another), so, maybe he'd be okay with you just acknowledging that you made a mistake and move on from it.

It sounds like you've realized what a foolish thing it was to make a vow, that you feel genuinely sorry for that foolishness, and that you repent of it. But wait, is that the case? Have you learned your lesson about making vows, or is it only this context of making a vow about cards that you're upset about? The way your post is phrased seems to indicate that you think it is only this one vow which is the problem rather than vows in general, which suggests that even if God gave you grace in this area, you'd probably end up making the same mistake in some other area.

If that is the case, maybe you should keep this vow and keep keeping it until the day you realize that any vow is foolishness before God and that, as Jesus said, we should simply say yes or no (this at least gives us some legitimate wiggle room to change our thinking in the future, whereas a vow does not).

On the other hand, if you're not referring to just this vow, but rather vowing in general, I think there could be some room for grace. We're all on a learning curve.

 

[JoeT]

Jesus said we shouldn't make any vows, for any reason, (perhaps with the exception of marriage, but even then, the marriage itself is the vow; it is part of what marriage is that the partners commit to being faithful to one another), so, maybe he'd be okay with you just acknowledging that you made a mistake and move on from it.

It sounds like you've realized what a foolish thing it was to make a vow, that you feel genuinely sorry for that foolishness, and that you repent of it. But wait, is that the case? Have you learned your lesson about making vows, or is it only this context of making a vow about cards that you're upset about? The way your post is phrased seems to indicate that you think it is only this one vow which is the problem rather than vows in general, which suggests that even if God gave you grace in this area, you'd probably end up making the same mistake in some other area.

If that is the case, maybe you should keep this vow and keep keeping it until the day you realize that any vow is foolishness before God and that, as Jesus said, we should simply say yes or no (this at least gives us some legitimate wiggle room to change our thinking in the future, whereas a vow does not).

On the other hand, if you're not referring to just this vow, but rather vowing in general, I think there could be some room for grace. We're all on a learning curve.

How is it foolish to make a vow? Once made vows are acts of the virtue of religion. In failing our vow are we not sinning against the first commandment?

"If thou hast vowed any thing to God, defer not to pay it: for an unfaithful and foolish promise displeaseth him: but whatsoever thou hast vowed, pay it." [Ecclesiastes 5:3]

What does it say about me if I fail to keep my promises to man? to God?

JoeT

 

[John Helpher]

What does it say about me if I fail to keep my promises to man? to God?

What does it say about you if you're unwilling to obey Jesus. According to Jesus, you shouldn't be making vows in the first place. Look what he says:

Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Lord thine oaths:

But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God's throne:

Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King.

Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black.

But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.

Are you prepared to let go of your ideas of what you think is virtuous and instead listen to what Jesus thinks is real virtue before God? This is what made the pharisees so angry with Jesus; he had a whole new way of approaching God and it did not include all the various rituals that they used to make themselves feel more virtuous about themselves. They hated him for it.

A promise about the future you can't control is foolishness. Simply let your yes be yes and your no be no.

 

[JoeT]

duplicate

 

[JoeT]

What does it say about you if you're unwilling to obey Jesus. According to Jesus, you shouldn't be making vows in the first place. Look what he says:

Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Lord thine oaths:

But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God's throne:

Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King.

Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black.

But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.

Swearing involves a curse while a vow is a promise. To swear is a sin while to make and keep a vow is honorable. They are not the same thing.

Are you prepared to let go of your ideas of what you think is virtuous and instead listen to what Jesus thinks is real virtue before God?

My belief doesn't hold any contradictions. The comments I made were consistent with the Church, and Sacred Scripture. Could it be you are unwilling to admit that vows are a religious act.

This is what made the pharisees so angry with Jesus; he had a whole new way of approaching God and it did not include all the various rituals that they used to make themselves feel more virtuous about themselves. They hated him for it.

A promise about the future you can't control is foolishness. Simply let your yes be yes and your no be no.

Actually, this is what comes of relativism, modernism and subjectivism.

JoeT

 

[John Helpher]

Swearing involves a curse while a vow is a promise. To swear is a sin while to make and keep a vow is honorable. They are not the same thing.

Except, Jesus wasn't talking about cursing. Look again at his solution to the issue; only say yes or no; anything more than this is evil. He's talking about vows and oaths, which are synonymous with swearing (i.e. I swear by the temple, I make an oath by the temple, I make a vow by the temple, etc).

You've got this romanticized idea about your own goodness when it comes to making promises and vows, but the simple, black and white truth is that Jesus said don't do it. Is it really that hard to let go of making vows? Aren't you just promoting your own righteousness through these vows, anyway? Isn't that how you described it earlier?

What does it say about me if I fail to keep my promises to man? to God?

What does it say about YOU. Right? The vows aren't about virtue at all; they are about you and your ideas about your own righteousness. That's at least part of the problem. The other part is that you don't know what the future holds; how can you make guarantees about it? It's foolishness.

This is exactly why Jesus turned to his followers and asked, "Why do you call me, 'Lord' but do not obey me"?

 

[QvQ]

Jesus said we shouldn't make any vows, for any reason, (perhaps with the exception of marriage, but even then, the marriage itself is the vow; it is part of what marriage is that the partners commit to being faithful to one another), so, maybe he'd be okay with you just acknowledging that you made a mistake and move on from it.

It sounds like you've realized what a foolish thing it was to make a vow, that you feel genuinely sorry for that foolishness, and that you repent of it. But wait, is that the case? Have you learned your lesson about making vows, or is it only this context of making a vow about cards that you're upset about? The way your post is phrased seems to indicate that you think it is only this one vow which is the problem rather than vows in general, which suggests that even if God gave you grace in this area, you'd probably end up making the same mistake in some other area.

If that is the case, maybe you should keep this vow and keep keeping it until the day you realize that any vow is foolishness before God and that, as Jesus said, we should simply say yes or no (this at least gives us some legitimate wiggle room to change our thinking in the future, whereas a vow does not).

On the other hand, if you're not referring to just this vow, but rather vowing in general, I think there could be some room for grace. We're all on a learning curve.

James 5:12
I considered promises as swearing and any vows to do or not do as swearing. I stopped vowing or promising because I realized I could not know the future or the Will of God. Thou shalt not swear, as the Book commands.
I say Yes or No and add, The Good Lord willing and the creek don't rise.

 

[JoeT]

Except, Jesus wasn't talking about cursing. Look again at his solution to the issue; only say yes or no; anything more than this is evil. He's talking about vows and oaths, which are synonymous with swearing (i.e. I swear by the temple, I make an oath by the temple, I make a vow by the temple, etc).

You've got this romanticized idea about your own goodness when it comes to making promises and vows, but the simple, black and white truth is that Jesus said don't do it. Is it really that hard to let go of making vows? Aren't you just promoting your own righteousness through these vows, anyway? Isn't that how you described it earlier?



What does it say about YOU. Right? The vows aren't about virtue at all; they are about you and your ideas about your own righteousness. That's at least part of the problem. The other part is that you don't know what the future holds; how can you make guarantees about it? It's foolishness.

This is exactly why Jesus turned to his followers and asked, "Why do you call me, 'Lord' but do not obey me"?

An oath is to call on a thing to bear witness to the truth of the statement. Taking "to swear" as an oath doesn't help your case because a vow is to make a promise.

Oaths and vows are two different things

JoeT

 

[JoeT]

To swear is to curse. (common usage)
To swear is to call on a person or thing to bear witness. (SUMMA THEOLOGIAE: Oaths (Secunda Secundae Partis, Q. 89))
To give an oath is similar, meaning to bear witness. (SUMMA THEOLOGIAE: Oaths (Secunda Secundae Partis, Q. 89))
To vow is to make a promise (article 1 SUMMA THEOLOGIAE: Vows (Secunda Secundae Partis, Q. 88))

JoeT

 

[QvQ]

To swear is to curse. (common usage)
To swear is to call on a person or thing to bear witness. (SUMMA THEOLOGIAE: Oaths (Secunda Secundae Partis, Q. 89))
To give an oath is similar, meaning to bear witness. (SUMMA THEOLOGIAE: Oaths (Secunda Secundae Partis, Q. 89))
To vow is to make a promise (article 1 SUMMA THEOLOGIAE: Vows (Secunda Secundae Partis, Q. 88))

JoeT

The difference is splitting hairs because I cannot know the future or the Will of God. I cannot be absolutely certain what I know of the past is accurate. If I promise, vow or swear, I am a liar or potentially a liar. That is the trap of all three.
Perhaps in strict definition, the three are different but in effect, before God, the three are the same.

 

[John Helpher]

The difference is splitting hairs

I think so, too. Jesus said let our yes be yes and our no be no; that's it. Whether it is a promise ,a swear, a vow, or an oath; in this context they all fit. The only reason to nitpick about distinctions here is for a loophole, i.e. "He said swear, not vow!"

If we mean what we say, there is no reason to make a vow or a swear or an oath, and we can still change our mind later if new information comes up which affects our decision making. You can't do that with vows and oaths; once you make the vow, that's it; you have to keep it.

JoeT has suggested that making vows demonstrates some kind of righteousness, but that's only because he's promoting self righteousness, i.e. he is righteous enough to make vows because he is righteous enough to keep them. I understand the appeal; there's a certain kind of emotional feel-good that comes with making promises, like you're doing something really meaningful, but that feeling isn't real. It's artificial.

When you make a promise or vow, all you're doing is letting others know that you can't be trusted to do what you say just because you say you'll do it; you need some kind of artifice to inflate your integrity. That's not righteousness. Jesus' command that we should only say yes or no is trying to get us away from that kind of artificial integrity.

 

[MountainMan17]

All good comments and discussion so far, you all have certainly given me some things to think about. Thank you! I do agree that we should be people of our word and keep lawful, reasonable promises.

In my case, the promise was made in a context of incomplete / inaccurate understanding. My intention was to avoid evil, and now that I have peace that the activity (playing cards) is not evil, I believe that I have liberty in Christ to ask the Lord to annul this vow.

As a believer, God is my Father - Romans 8:15.

As a Father, God will not withhold any good thing from his child - Psalm 84:11, Luke 11:9-13.

Is it a good thing for me to keep a silly promise made with incomplete knowledge?

And, as a believer, I am to stand fast in the liberty that Christ has given me, and not become entangled with man-made observations/ rules / customs / rituals, etc. Galatians 5:1.

I don't think God would want me to maintain a self-righteous vow, denying myself something that Scripture does not speak against in principle or in word.

These are my thoughts thus far and I am open to further guidance from the Scriptures.

 

[Paul4JC]

I think we all do it to one extent or another and it can be a healthy thing. We are free in Christ. Sometimes we don't live up our spiritual commitments/expectations. We confess our failures and move on.

 

[John Helpher]

You say we all (which would include me) have given you something to think about, but I don't think you thought about my words at all. Rather, you saw that I suggested it's possible you could just repent of this foolishness concerning promises and move on, and that's all you wanted to see.

Now, here you are, suggesting that you're quite ready to make new promises, so long as they are "lawful and reasonable".

I do agree that we should be people of our word and keep lawful, reasonable promises.

Of course, at the time you made this dumb promise about not playing cards, you did think it was lawful and reasonable, right? You said...

I had inner conflict as to whether playing cards was evil / sinful or not.

You made the promise because you thought it was unlawful to play cards and you thought it was reasonable to make a vow about not doing something unlawful. Now that you want to play cards again, you want people here to tell you that you're absolved of your promise, but you still stubbornly hang onto this idea that it's okay to make promises. Recall what I said in post #5

But wait, is that the case? Have you learned your lesson about making vows, or is it only this context of making a vow about cards that you're upset about? The way your post is phrased seems to indicate that you think it is only this one vow which is the problem rather than vows in general, which suggests that even if God gave you grace in this area, you'd probably end up making the same mistake in some other area.

Turns out I was right; you were only talking about the cards. You haven't learned anything.

And, to make the issue all the worse, instead of just recognizing that you did something foolish and agreeing, with genuine humility, not to do it again, you've used Bible verses to justify breaking your word, as though the purpose of wisdom is meant to shield you from your own foolishness! This is not the kind of behavior expected form remorse and repentance. You even refer to the liberty that Christ offers, like a spoiled brat caught breaking the law, i.e. "my daddy is the sheriff so I won't face any consequences for my bad behavior".

It's disgusting to see the grace of God used like this.

 

[Leet]

Okay, the reply above is really harsh imo.

I think sometimes people get hung up on making/breaking vows because it provides a sense of control, stability and obedience. It doesn't have to be anything to do with being all high and mighty about one's own "goodness" but if it is, God will reveal it sooner or later. We all learn and grow.

Personally, I try not to vow anything, other than my wedding vows. I think that's because I've struggled with OCD and anxiety throughout my life. I'm not saying this is the case with you OP but I do feel God asks us for simple yes or no rather than oaths because he doesn't want to see us in any kind of bondage.

 

[Lg2000]

I think we all do it to one extent or another and it can be a healthy thing. We are free in Christ. Sometimes we don't live up our spiritual commitments/expectations. We confess our failures and move on.

This is how i think
. Ive made plenty of vows/promises i couldnt keep but i thought i was going to and had good intentions. Thank god he is merciful to forgive us when we ask . Vows/broken promises arent an pardonable sin , if they were Peter would of been in big trouble .
Last time i checked the only unpardonable sin is blasphemy of the holy spirit which seems really hard to do.