Is it okay to pray to bring my ex back?

[top10point5]

My ex girlfriend broke up with me, we've been together for 2 years. The reason for the breakup is she suffering from depression and has stressors (school, work, & family) that makes maintaining a relationship hard. She asked that I remain friends with her for the time being, to support her, to still take her out, and if possible when she heals we may be able to retry a relationship.

I truly believed God brought us together. We connected on all levels and most importantly spiritually. She brought me closer to God, motivated me to pray more, and motivated me to be more active at my church.

We've hanged out twice since our breakup and each time I was able to make her laugh and bring a smile on her face. She told me she needs that right now with the depression making her constantly unhappy.

It's unfortunate that the depression caused her to break up with me. She's had depression phases within our relationship, but never this bad, nor never this much stressors at once.

Is it okay for me to pray God to bring her back?

I'm not doing it for selfish reasons, but I know that the devil likes to try to destroy future Christian marriages. I even had multiple dreams since our breakup of evil spirits attacking her and this all came after we were doing a month long spiritual fasting to get closer to God.

 

[SkyWriting]

My ex girlfriend broke up with me, we've been together for 2 years. The reason for the breakup is she suffering from depression and has stressors (school, work, & family) that makes maintaining a relationship hard. She asked that I remain friends with her for the time being, to support her, to still take her out, and if possible when she heals we may be able to retry a relationship.

I truly believed God brought us together. We connected on all levels and most importantly spiritually. She brought me closer to God, motivated me to pray more, and motivated me to be more active at my church.

We've hanged out twice since our breakup and each time I was able to make her laugh and bring a smile on her face. She told me she needs that right now with the depression making her constantly unhappy.

It's unfortunate that the depression caused her to break up with me. She's had depression phases within our relationship, but never this bad, nor never this much stressors at once.

Is it okay for me to pray God to bring her back?

I'm not doing it for selfish reasons, but I know that the devil likes to try to destroy future Christian marriages. I even had multiple dreams since our breakup of evil spirits attacking her and this all came after we were doing a month long spiritual fasting to get closer to God.

Praying is always welcomed by God. But God never intervenes with His already perfect plans.
Your prayers are for your benefit, so that you might glimpse wisdom.

 

[Rodan6]

All prayers are "okay". But be aware that one of the greatest laws in our universe is that it is forbidden to interfere with the willful choices of humans. Prayer is most fruitful when it is centered around your own person. In your prayer, declare your resolve to follow God's will and petition for guidance as you move forward.

 

[top10point5]

All prayers are "okay". But be aware that one of the greatest laws in our universe is that it is forbidden to interfere with the willful choices of humans. Prayer is most fruitful when it is centered around your own person. In your prayer, declare your resolve to follow God's will and petition for guidance as you move forward.

Thanks for the response. Great advise

1. I pray that God helps her with her depression & anxiety and helps her find that internal happiness
2. I pray that God brought us together for a reason and that once helps her find that internal happiness and heals her, that if it's meant to be, that he brings us back together.

I don't want my prayer to come off as selfish and for my own needs, but at the same time I know that whatever I want in life, I have to put in Gods hands and ask for his guidance.

 

[top10point5]

Praying is always welcomed by God. But God never intervenes with His already perfect plans.
Your prayers are for your benefit, so that you might glimpse wisdom.

Thanks that is true. He works in mysterious ways. When we first started dating I was going through major work stress and she was always there for me and made me feel better until I was able to get a better job. I just want to be there for her through her own rough time of need and for God to help heal her internally.

 

[Richard T]

I think it would be wrong not to pray for her. Also, your relationship passes the one test I try to use. That test is whether the relationship takes either or both people away from God, or toward God. It sounds like the latter for you, so that is great. Just don't take this for granted should you get closer again. Keep pushing forward and see where this all is going to go. God bless

 

[Tony B]

My ex girlfriend broke up with me, we've been together for 2 years. The reason for the breakup is she suffering from depression and has stressors (school, work, & family) that makes maintaining a relationship hard. She asked that I remain friends with her for the time being, to support her, to still take her out, and if possible when she heals we may be able to retry a relationship.

I truly believed God brought us together. We connected on all levels and most importantly spiritually. She brought me closer to God, motivated me to pray more, and motivated me to be more active at my church.

We've hanged out twice since our breakup and each time I was able to make her laugh and bring a smile on her face. She told me she needs that right now with the depression making her constantly unhappy.

It's unfortunate that the depression caused her to break up with me. She's had depression phases within our relationship, but never this bad, nor never this much stressors at once.

Is it okay for me to pray God to bring her back?

I'm not doing it for selfish reasons, but I know that the devil likes to try to destroy future Christian marriages. I even had multiple dreams since our breakup of evil spirits attacking her and this all came after we were doing a month long spiritual fasting to get closer to God.

What was your situation beforehand? Were you living together or having any kind of sexual relationship before your breakup? Sorry, even though that’s getting into personal and private territory, the questions need to be asked and answered before any godly advice or help ought be given.

 

[Zonderzug]

It is okay to pray for your heart’s desire but you need to listen and yield to God’s desire. What is He saying with this temporary breakup? I suggest that you pray on three levels. The first one is God’s desire. Pray for discernment if it is God’s plan or not. Follow Psalm 139:23-24 “Search me o God and know my heart …” She might not be the one for you, no matter how perfect she seems for you. The next level is to pray for your desire, that you want her but only if it is God’s will. The Lord might have someone else in mind. The last level is pray for her healing and her problems which God might be using to grow her, maybe for you or maybe for someone else.

 

[Sketcher]

You can, but I don't know how productive it will be to keep pining after her. Sometimes couples get back together, and it works. Other times, they get back together, and they break up again, because the root of the problem didn't change.

The more you pray for her, the harder it will be to let her go. If you need to let her go, pray for her well-being, trust that God in his power, wisdom, and goodness heard it and will take care of it according to those traits of his, and let the situation go completely into his hands.

 

[Lost4words]

My mate prays to keep his ex away!

 

[top10point5]

It is okay to pray for your heart’s desire but you need to listen and yield to God’s desire. What is He saying with this temporary breakup? I suggest that you pray on three levels. The first one is God’s desire. Pray for discernment if it is God’s plan or not. Follow Psalm 139:23-24 “Search me o God and know my heart …” She might not be the one for you, no matter how perfect she seems for you. The next level is to pray for your desire, that you want her but only if it is God’s will. The Lord might have someone else in mind. The last level is pray for her healing and her problems which God might be using to grow her, maybe for you or maybe for someone else.

Thank you so much. I really needed to hear this advice.

I prayed for God to give me guidance on how to move forward. I know it's possible for us to never reconcile, but every-time I think about moving on it's like something in my heart, spirit, and a voice tells me to be patient, supportive, and at least give the friendship a shot for her. I've even had dreams telling me to be patient and supportive for her right now.

She's truly suffering from depression and in need right now and she's started to attend mid-week prayer meetings. I've forgiven her in my heart for the heartbreak and I feel as not only a Christian, but someone who cares for her, I should remain supportive in the time of need for her.

I loved that you mentioned growth, we've both grown throughout our relationship, she's inspired me to be closer to God and I've helped her grow in terms of handling stress, insecurities, and just being more positive when things get bad, although with this experience we have more growing to do in that area, but it's gotten better compared to when we started our relationship.

 

[top10point5]

You can, but I don't know how productive it will be to keep pining after her. Sometimes couples get back together, and it works. Other times, they get back together, and they break up again, because the root of the problem didn't change.

The more you pray for her, the harder it will be to let her go. If you need to let her go, pray for her well-being, trust that God in his power, wisdom, and goodness heard it and will take care of it according to those traits of his, and let the situation go completely into his hands.

Thank you yes, I will pray to put it in his hands and for his guidance. I don't want to let her go, just for the fact that she's truly suffering from depression right now and even asked me to be supportive for her. Plus I know depression can cloud people's mind with negative thoughts and take away their joy.

 

[Zonderzug]

Thank you so much. I really needed to hear this advice.

I prayed for God to give me guidance on how to move forward. I know it's possible for us to never reconcile, but every-time I think about moving on it's like something in my heart, spirit, and a voice tells me to be patient, supportive, and at least give the friendship a shot for her. I've even had dreams telling me to be patient and supportive for her right now.

She's truly suffering from depression and in need right now and she's started to attend mid-week prayer meetings. I've forgiven her in my heart for the heartbreak and I feel as not only a Christian, but someone who cares for her, I should remain supportive in the time of need for her.

I loved that you mentioned growth, we've both grown throughout our relationship, she's inspired me to be closer to God and I've helped her grow in terms of handling stress, insecurities, and just being more positive when things get bad, although with this experience we have more growing to do in that area, but it's gotten better compared to when we started our relationship.

You’re welcome brother. We are here for each other and I also have received advice that helped straighten my course. I believe that you have everything you need, God mainly, and just be faithful and patient and watch how the Lord one day lets the puzzle pieces fall into place. Have a blessed day and week.

 

[B.C]

My ex girlfriend broke up with me, we've been together for 2 years. The reason for the breakup is she suffering from depression and has stressors (school, work, & family) that makes maintaining a relationship hard. She asked that I remain friends with her for the time being, to support her, to still take her out, and if possible when she heals we may be able to retry a relationship.

I truly believed God brought us together. We connected on all levels and most importantly spiritually. She brought me closer to God, motivated me to pray more, and motivated me to be more active at my church.

We've hanged out twice since our breakup and each time I was able to make her laugh and bring a smile on her face. She told me she needs that right now with the depression making her constantly unhappy.

It's unfortunate that the depression caused her to break up with me. She's had depression phases within our relationship, but never this bad, nor never this much stressors at once.

Is it okay for me to pray God to bring her back?

I'm not doing it for selfish reasons, but I know that the devil likes to try to destroy future Christian marriages. I even had multiple dreams since our breakup of evil spirits attacking her and this all came after we were doing a month long spiritual fasting to get closer to God.

I am struggling with the same issue, although my relationship was shorter. I feel as if God is saying don't loose hope, and that He is saying that there is a future for us. I pray if it is in His plan for it to happen but to help me work on me for His glory. I will be praying for you too.

 

[bèlla]

The problem still exists. It isn't her depression. It's her unwillingness to remain with you in spite of the depression. If you've supported her through difficult times she has a reference point. She knows you have her back. To walk away in light of that is wrong.

Reconciling won't change the fact that she gave up. What happens the next time life gets hard? Once you leave someone you can do it again. The first time is hardest. But it gets easier after that.

It would be different if you dropped the ball. But you didn't. You're functioning as a quasi boyfriend. How is this different from being together? And how will you handle it if she doesn't return?

If you're going to take a risk you have to consider all outcomes. This can go three ways: reconciliation, no reconciliation, or she meets someone else. You must prepare yourself for the possibility. So you won't be crushed.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

 

[Endeavourer]

I would not advise you to reconcile. As @Bèlla mentioned above, what makes this relationship safe for YOU next time hard times arise?

Dating is an interview for marriage. She failed the interview. The past is the best prologue for the future. While your thoughts are noble, we are not called upon to enter marriages where we know we will be a sacrificial lamb. A decision for marriage must be for two people who can be whole in their relationship together. If brokenness manifests itself after the marriage, that is a different problem. Going into a marriage with a person you know to be not a good candidate for marriage is a recipe for a lifetime of heart aches and disasters.

Then introduce kids to the situation........

Here's an adage that has proven to be true through all ages: Marry in haste and repent at leisure. A lifetime of regret is a very heavy burden and will eventually cause stress related health problems.

God is not the author of confusion, but of peace. Seek after a marriage where you and your wife can best project a lifetime of peace. This is not that marriage.

 

[Endeavourer]

This can go three ways: reconciliation, no reconciliation, or she meets someone else.

Great insights in Bella's post.

On this sentence, I'd also suggest a fourth option, which is the most likely if reconciliation happens: reconciling and then experiencing the same behavior after the marriage.

 

[seeking.IAM]

By all means you may pray for what you wish. Please also carefully consider if you are prepared to sign on for living the rest of your life supporting someone who has periodic bouts of chronic depression. It's generally unwise to enter a relationship with the notion that someone is going to change up the road. It could happen, but it's surely not guaranteed. If you pursue this relationship, make sure you are up to the task.

 

[bèlla]

Great insights in Bella's post.

On this sentence, I'd also suggest a fourth option, which is the most likely if reconciliation happens: reconciling and then experiencing the same behavior after the marriage.

I thought the same. Dictating the terms of support is the smoking gun.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

 

[DiscipleHeLovesToo]

My ex girlfriend broke up with me, we've been together for 2 years. The reason for the breakup is she suffering from depression and has stressors (school, work, & family) that makes maintaining a relationship hard. She asked that I remain friends with her for the time being, to support her, to still take her out, and if possible when she heals we may be able to retry a relationship.

I truly believed God brought us together. We connected on all levels and most importantly spiritually. She brought me closer to God, motivated me to pray more, and motivated me to be more active at my church.

We've hanged out twice since our breakup and each time I was able to make her laugh and bring a smile on her face. She told me she needs that right now with the depression making her constantly unhappy.

It's unfortunate that the depression caused her to break up with me. She's had depression phases within our relationship, but never this bad, nor never this much stressors at once.

Is it okay for me to pray God to bring her back?

I'm not doing it for selfish reasons, but I know that the devil likes to try to destroy future Christian marriages. I even had multiple dreams since our breakup of evil spirits attacking her and this all came after we were doing a month long spiritual fasting to get closer to God.

why do you think you love her?

is it because of how she makes you feel, what she does for you?

is it because you feel strong compassion for her?

another reason?

you simply love her but don't know why?

it's easy to mistake feelings for love; love always includes feelings, but real love is based on selfless commitment that remains selfless even when the worst of feelings come (1Cor 13:4-8). when God wants to minister to someone through you, you will feel compassion rise up inside of you for that person (Luke 10:30-37). It takes time to discern the difference between God wanting to channel His compassion through you to her, and God's leading to marry her - they can 'feel' exactly the same in the short term; but the difference is profound across decades. take it slow; don't let her take advantage of you. there's nothing wrong with going out as friends, but remember that true friends seek to take each other out