Marriage: Legal vs Spiritual

[pgp_protector]

Those special kinds of threads:

Id rep you for that but I can't but I'm so saving that image

 

[Ana the Ist]

To add to these initial questions, at what point are you considered "spiritually" divorced? If a spouse cheats, are you only considered divorced when the legal procedure is complete or are you spiritually divorced once you have made the decision based on adultery?

The legal and spiritual sometimes blend and make things like this quite confusing...

I'd say you're spiritually divorced when your wife snuggles up to you in bed and you fart on her lap.

 

[Ana the Ist]

I wasn't going to weigh-in on this since the OP seemed to be asking specifically about christian viewpoints, but that hasn't stopped anyone else ...so here goes!!!

Devotion, in my eyes, is one of the most beautiful human emotions because of the things it makes a person capable of doing. It can make a captain in down with his ship to save his crew. It can make a fireman run into a burning building to rescue a total stranger. It can make a samurai slice open his belly and bleed out on the floor so his master can save face. I fell in love with the idea of having that in my life. Devotion to someone, something, a cause, a purpose, an idea...something that could become so important, such a part of who you are that you would not want to live without it, because without it you would not be the same. It made you more than what you were, and without it you'd be less. I spent long years hoping I'd find that in my life...and not finding it. The idea faded until it was all but forgotten when I met my wife.

It sounds corny to say something like "love at first sight" because before I saw her I didn't believe in it. I don't know that I do now, but I was certainly smitten with her. She has a rare, almost exotic, beauty that's natural to her...something effortless. I've told her she falls out of bed beautiful, and she's stunning by almost any man's standards. Nothing unusual about me desiring her, what red-blooded man wouldn't? However, it didn't take more than a couple conversations to realize she was so much more. He's beauty inside makes her physical beauty pale in comparison. I've known only a handful of genuinely good people in my life. Most people I regarded as capable of good, but few were good as a part of their nature. She stood above even them, like some angelic being flowing with grace. So genuinely kind, loving, compassionate, affectionate, understanding...from her such things are infectious. It was as if I'd found this amazing girl who was somehow unspoiled by the world. Untouched by anger, jealousy, wickedness, cruelty. When I learned how wrong I was about that, she just became more wondrous. Such sad and awful things had been a part of her life for so long and yet she was still practically a saint in my eyes. She's stronger than I am in that way.

I could go on for days but I'll spare you. Suffice to say, I wanted to be the kind of man who deserved her, the kind of man she deserved, the kind of man I wasn't. I changed everything about my life to be worthy of the love she gives to me so freely. I wanted to be able to have her always, she already had me completely, anything of me she needed only ask. She became the thing in my life that I am entirely devoted to. Her happiness is my greatest cause. Her love is my greatest pursuit. Her trust is my greatest treasure.

Our marriage is just a symbol of our commitment to each other. I don't know what a spiritual marriage is and if I did I doubt I'd have any use for it. I don't know any gods, but if I did I wouldn't bother with anything so trifling as a commitment to/before them. My marriage is a symbol of my commitment to her. A symbol of our devotion, our trust, our love. It is the only thing in my life I consider sacred, she is the only thing in my life worth dying for.

 

[TillICollapse]

I wasn't going to weigh-in on this since the OP seemed to be asking specifically about christian viewpoints, but that hasn't stopped anyone else ...so here goes!!!

Devotion, in my eyes, is one of the most beautiful human emotions because of the things it makes a person capable of doing. It can make a captain in down with his ship to save his crew. It can make a fireman run into a burning building to rescue a total stranger. It can make a samurai slice open his belly and bleed out on the floor so his master can save face. I fell in love with the idea of having that in my life. Devotion to someone, something, a cause, a purpose, an idea...something that could become so important, such a part of who you are that you would not want to live without it, because without it you would not be the same. It made you more than what you were, and without it you'd be less. I spent long years hoping I'd find that in my life...and not finding it. The idea faded until it was all but forgotten when I met my wife.

It sounds corny to say something like "love at first sight" because before I saw her I didn't believe in it. I don't know that I do now, but I was certainly smitten with her. She has a rare, almost exotic, beauty that's natural to her...something effortless. I've told her she falls out of bed beautiful, and she's stunning by almost any man's standards. Nothing unusual about me desiring her, what red-blooded man wouldn't? However, it didn't take more than a couple conversations to realize she was so much more. He's beauty inside makes her physical beauty pale in comparison. I've known only a handful of genuinely good people in my life. Most people I regarded as capable of good, but few were good as a part of their nature. She stood above even them, like some angelic being flowing with grace. So genuinely kind, loving, compassionate, affectionate, understanding...from her such things are infectious. It was as if I'd found this amazing girl who was somehow unspoiled by the world. Untouched by anger, jealousy, wickedness, cruelty. When I learned how wrong I was about that, she just became more wondrous. Such sad and awful things had been a part of her life for so long and yet she was still practically a saint in my eyes. She's stronger than I am in that way.

I could go on for days but I'll spare you. Suffice to say, I wanted to be the kind of man who deserved her, the kind of man she deserved, the kind of man I wasn't. I changed everything about my life to be worthy of the love she gives to me so freely. I wanted to be able to have her always, she already had me completely, anything of me she needed only ask. She became the thing in my life that I am entirely devoted to. Her happiness is my greatest cause. Her love is my greatest pursuit. Her trust is my greatest treasure.

Our marriage is just a symbol of our commitment to each other. I don't know what a spiritual marriage is and if I did I doubt I'd have any use for it. I don't know any gods, but if I did I wouldn't bother with anything so trifling as a commitment to/before them. My marriage is a symbol of my commitment to her. A symbol of our devotion, our trust, our love. It is the only thing in my life I consider sacred, she is the only thing in my life worth dying for.

Dude lol .... duuuuuuude

I hear you, I hear you

 

[Ana the Ist]

Dude lol .... duuuuuuude

I hear you, I hear you

Lol that's about the least masculine thing there is right? Telling someone about your wife/girlfriend the way you'd tell your wife/gf what you think of them.

 

[TillICollapse]

Lol that's about the least masculine thing there is right? Telling someone about your wife/girlfriend the way you'd tell your wife/gf what you think of them.

Nah, that's masculine ... if you even want to look at it in terms like that. I don't usually think of things in terms of "masculine" or not most of the time however. I don't think the term "p-whipped" applies to what you are describing, though, if that's what you are more or less hinting at haha. That would be something else entirely then

 

[Ana the Ist]

Nah, that's masculine ... if you even want to look at it in terms like that. I don't usually think of things in terms of "masculine" or not most of the time however. I don't think the term "p-whipped" applies to what you are describing, though, if that's what you are more or less hinting at haha. That would be something else entirely then

Lol that's a term I used for men who wanted to do something fairly innocuous, but their woman won't let them. She's never told me that she didn't want me doing something, but then again, I'd never want to do anything that she would find hurtful/offensive anyway. I guess it's all a matter of perspective.

 

[TillICollapse]

Lol that's a term I used for men who wanted to do something fairly innocuous, but their woman won't let them. She's never told me that she didn't want me doing something, but then again, I'd never want to do anything that she would find hurtful/offensive anyway. I guess it's all a matter of perspective.

Hmm ... I think *fearing* your spouse, and not wanting to hurt or offend them, are two different things.

Personally, I think p-whipped has more to do with a guy who loses his individuality and basically lives on a leash by giving his will over to the other person. That's not the same as when you're enamored with a girl and go through that infatuation (when all you can think about is her, want to be with her, choose her over most other things for a time, etc), nor is it the same as when you actually love the girl and she you, and your individual self and will are enhanced and you keep them, they are not lost or given away to her.

 

[Ana the Ist]

Hmm ... I think *fearing* your spouse, and not wanting to hurt or offend them, are two different things.

Personally, I think p-whipped has more to do with a guy who loses his individuality and basically lives on a leash by giving his will over to the other person. That's not the same as when you're enamored with a girl and go through that infatuation (when all you can think about is her, want to be with her, choose her over most other things for a time, etc), nor is it the same as when you actually love the girl and she you, and your individual self and will are enhanced and you keep them, they are not lost or given away to her.

Fair enough. I only see it under situations where tad guy wants to do something and yet can't.

 

[Joykins]

Well, I thought it was sweet. You need to print that out in the shape of a heart and glue a doily to that and give it to her.

 

[Ana the Ist]

Well, I thought it was sweet. You need to print that out in the shape of a heart and glue a doily to that and give it to her.

Lol she knows. She'd tell you herself...not a day goes by.where I don't express my.love for her. It's sickening lol. If we were on a reality tv show you'd think it was scripted or fake.

 

[madaz]

Personally I dont think gods (if they exist) would care about the union of a couple of humans or whether the union is legal, spiritual or both.

In my case because we were both deists at the time my fiance and I decided on a normal wedding (secular), however, our wedding ceremony experience could be described as being just as "spiritual" as any religion based wedding in a synagogue, mosque or church.

Both types of marriages originated in man mind so from my perspective what exactly is the difference between a legal marriage and a spiritual marriage besides the latter not being legally or officially recognised?

 

[Ana the Ist]

Personally I dont think gods (if they exist) would care about the union of a couple of humans or whether the union is legal, spiritual or both.

In my case because we were both deists at the time my fiance and I decided on a normal wedding (secular), however, our wedding ceremony experience could be described as being just as "spiritual" as any religion based wedding in a synagogue, mosque or church.

Both types of marriages originated in man mind so from my perspective what exactly is the difference between a legal marriage and a spiritual marriage besides the latter not being legally or officially recognised?

My.wife and I were married by a judge in front of two witnesses. She and I didn't want to wait until we could afford a more "traditional" ceremony. We still plan on having a traditional ceremony in the future so our families can come and be a part of the ceremony, but it's of no real importance to us. The important part is the commitment made to each other.

 

[appleofhiseye]

The Bible never says what differences there are between a spiritual marriage and a legal marriage, or if signing a legal document that has nothing to do with Christianity has anything to do with the joining of two souls in the eyes of God.

hi, I am a bit confused on Spiritual marriage.
The bible doesn't differ about legal versus spiritual because there is no marriage among spirits. Jesus said in heaven there is no one married or given in marriage.
Marriage is for earthly bodies, so I am confused about the question.

 

[madaz]

The important part is the commitment made to each other.

Absolutely!

Every other ingredient of marriage is inferior in importance.

 

[ValleyGal]

hi, I am a bit confused on Spiritual marriage.
The bible doesn't differ about legal versus spiritual because there is no marriage among spirits. Jesus said in heaven there is no one married or given in marriage.
Marriage is for earthly bodies, so I am confused about the question.

I was reading through most of the thread, and the same thought went through my mind. Also, God is a God of "law." As someone pointed out earlier, a "bill of divorcement" or rather, divorce papers were required to make divorce legal and free her to remarry. Marriage is a legal process, based on covenant. A covenant is a legal proceeding, making divorce a required legal proceeding. Therefore, marriage is a legal thing, not a spiritual thing.

Not only that, but as another poster pointed out, marrying for love is a historically recent development. Most people might have a "feeling" of "spiritual marriage" when they are actually experiencing the hormonal rush that accompanies initial attraction.

Marriage takes work. You know why? Because it's not always easy; iow, loving feelings are gone. But you still choose to act in loving ways, you still choose to care, you still choose to nurture the foundational friendship. There is research (Gottman, 1999) that says friendship is the foundation of romance. When you nurture the friendship in the marriage, the romance will grow. So you can absolutely prime your marriage for romance.

I wonder if this idea of "spiritual marriage" comes from the idea of "soul mates." I do think some people are more "in tune" with some people, but that is not necessarily within a marriage context, and does not constitute a spiritual marriage. In fact, I don't actually know where the idea of "spiritual marriage" comes from. It's not biblical.

Jesus spoke to a woman at a well. He asked where her husband was. She gave an answer, but Jesus replied that the truth is she'd had five husbands, but the man she was currently living with was not a husband. So I do not believe that living together constitutes marriage; nor do I believe that the intent to marry, or some secret longing or promise constitutes marriage. Marriage is a legal process, whether it's performed by a JP, religious official, or other legally appointed officiant. Otherwise, intent is only intent. There is no meaning unless it's carried out.

 

[ChristianCenturion]

Is a legal marriage looked upon by God the same as a spiritual marriage?

A "legal" marriage is something a local government might recognize as what they call a marriage. That isn't necessarily well defined and one or several marriages might not be looked upon by another government if said people move or travel where they are subject to another set of local laws.
So right off the bat, the question already has problems with marriage having consistency within one of the two being compared.

As far as spiritual marriage, can you explain what that is please - because I'm not seeing a Christian basis for such a phrase; yet, you seem to have it connected with something like Christianity with God being used with the customary capitalized "G." I really can't answer the second part (that seems to be imbedded in the rest of your post) until I even know what you are specifically referring to.

If two people get spiritually married by a Christian church leader and are not/do not get legally married, are they still married in the eyes of God?

Again, need the specific definition of your spiritually married phrase.

If someone gets legally married and the ceremony is performed by a Justice of the Peace without any mention of religion or Christianity, are they still married in the eyes of God?

The above is actually too vague - given that something might "qualify" as a legal marriage in some locality, but not fall under what God has said He honors in what we call marriage. For example, the "someone" might be two women... or two men for that matter.

And one that's a little more difficult:

If two people proclaim to God, in prayer or whatever means, that they commit to each other for the rest of their lives, and wish to become one, are they considered spiritually married? Or must it be performed by a church leader?

These are actually important questions to me, because I don't see any reason for God to put any importance to legal marriage. Spiritual marriage, definitely, but legal marriage is a concept of man. This, if true, has implications with the future of marriage and how it is treated legally.

I also want to know because of things that are considered "not acceptable" between those who aren't married. If a couple is legally married but have not made a spiritual commitment to each other, can they have sex without it being a sin? Or are they still married to God for signing a document written by man, for man?

Again, I would like to see the source or definition of what you are calling "spiritually married." I can't exactly point you to the right verse in Christian teaching on something that is so... foreign (for lack of a better description).

 

[KitKatMatt]

It's been a long time since I made this thread.

The whole point was to poke at the ideas of marriage since the whole premarital sex thing is so focused on.

I honestly can't remember much else was running through my mind. Sorry about that, but like I said I made this a while back.

 

[laiddownmylife]

I have the same question as the original poster.

I would like to put my wisdom from the Word, that we have a spiritual awakening before we get baptized in the same way we fall in love with someone first then proceed to the marriage in public.

So, waiting to have sex with someone you're in love with matters to wait until actual marriage is the right thing to do.

I answered my own question Thank you, Lord. This is why I love God. He speaks to us when we first ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find "for everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." matt 7:8

 

[Stephen3141]

Is a legal marriage looked upon by God the same as a spiritual marriage?

If two people get spiritually married by a Christian church leader and are not/do not get legally married, are they still married in the eyes of God?

If someone gets legally married and the ceremony is performed by a Justice of the Peace without any mention of religion or Christianity, are they still married in the eyes of God?

And one that's a little more difficult:

If two people proclaim to God, in prayer or whatever means, that they commit to each other for the rest of their lives, and wish to become one, are they considered spiritually married? Or must it be performed by a church leader?

These are actually important questions to me, because I don't see any reason for God to put any importance to legal marriage. Spiritual marriage, definitely, but legal marriage is a concept of man. This, if true, has implications with the future of marriage and how it is treated legally.

I also want to know because of things that are considered "not acceptable" between those who aren't married. If a couple is legally married but have not made a spiritual commitment to each other, can they have sex without it being a sin? Or are they still married to God for signing a document written by man, for man?

What do you mean by a "spiritual" marriage?