I'll be honest and say I've had [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] but I've never had sex. I'm not ashamed to say that. I am, however, ashamed to say that I fear I've already ruined my first exeprience with sex, because I've already had that climax and common sense tells me that it must be a similar exerience. This is something I think about quite a lot, because my virginity (and first time) means a lot to me. So I decided to ask the question here so I can put my mind at ease: Is the experience a lot different and will I be disappointed finding out that I've already basically experienced the best part of it?
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Does masturbation impact on future enjoyment of sex?
- Thread starter RoseOfJesus
- Start date
In my opinion the best part of sex is the experience that giving pleasure and taking pleasure become indistinguishable. Thus, no, you haven´t experienced that yet. 
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Jade Margery
Stranger in a strange land
Well, the answer depends on how you touch and how you have sex.
If you touch like, A LOT, and always use the exact same technique, then you can be training your body to only respond to one kind of stimulation. This is a problem more common for men than women. If they grip too hard when they are enjoying themselves, then they get used to a stronger pressure than a woman's body can possibly provide. The answer in this case is not to stop masturbating, but to vary your technique so that your body doesn't get stuck in a rut.
The other thing is, there aren't a lot of women who can have [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] by vaginal intercourse alone. This is because the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], where the woman gets the most pleasure, isn't located inside the vagina. It's on the outside. So if it gets to be your first time and your guy just hammers on you for awhile and then pulls out, you probably wouldn't [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] whether you had been masturbating or not. The way to get around this is to use lots of foreplay first, use lubrication, use positions that stimulate the inside of the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] (I've found that from behind works best for that, but can be difficult to do if you are not perfectly sized to each other--pillows help) and get your guy to put his fingers or one of your sex toys (if you have any) to work down there while you are making love.
Most couples don't come at the same time. If you come first, well, just keep going. If he comes first, make it clear that you expect some continued attention. He may be soft, but his fingers and your toys aren't. When my fiance and I make love, it is often the case that I get my [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] after the official 'sex' part is over.
And also, don't feel pressured to have [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], fake or otherwise! Sex can be a very enjoyable activity even if you don't climax, and that's fine too. Women may be able to have multiple [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] in a row, but ours are much rarer than men's. And hardly anyone gets to [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] the first time they have sex, what with it being kind of ouch and all. (Though with lubrication and plenty of foreplay, it won't hurt any more than getting pinched on the arm.)
And you can put your mind at ease--with the right partner, sex is MUCH better than masturbation. If the sex you're having isn't more enjoyable than doing it yourself, then you either need better communication or a different guy.
It's a bit like getting a foot massage. Sure, you can rub your own foot because you know exactly where it needs to be rubbed, but doesn't it feel better to have someone else do it?
If you touch like, A LOT, and always use the exact same technique, then you can be training your body to only respond to one kind of stimulation. This is a problem more common for men than women. If they grip too hard when they are enjoying themselves, then they get used to a stronger pressure than a woman's body can possibly provide. The answer in this case is not to stop masturbating, but to vary your technique so that your body doesn't get stuck in a rut.
The other thing is, there aren't a lot of women who can have [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] by vaginal intercourse alone. This is because the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], where the woman gets the most pleasure, isn't located inside the vagina. It's on the outside. So if it gets to be your first time and your guy just hammers on you for awhile and then pulls out, you probably wouldn't [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] whether you had been masturbating or not. The way to get around this is to use lots of foreplay first, use lubrication, use positions that stimulate the inside of the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] (I've found that from behind works best for that, but can be difficult to do if you are not perfectly sized to each other--pillows help) and get your guy to put his fingers or one of your sex toys (if you have any) to work down there while you are making love.
Most couples don't come at the same time. If you come first, well, just keep going. If he comes first, make it clear that you expect some continued attention. He may be soft, but his fingers and your toys aren't. When my fiance and I make love, it is often the case that I get my [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] after the official 'sex' part is over.
And also, don't feel pressured to have [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], fake or otherwise! Sex can be a very enjoyable activity even if you don't climax, and that's fine too. Women may be able to have multiple [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] in a row, but ours are much rarer than men's. And hardly anyone gets to [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] the first time they have sex, what with it being kind of ouch and all. (Though with lubrication and plenty of foreplay, it won't hurt any more than getting pinched on the arm.)
And you can put your mind at ease--with the right partner, sex is MUCH better than masturbation. If the sex you're having isn't more enjoyable than doing it yourself, then you either need better communication or a different guy.
It's a bit like getting a foot massage. Sure, you can rub your own foot because you know exactly where it needs to be rubbed, but doesn't it feel better to have someone else do it?
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Chajara
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What Jade Margery said. Also, [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] vary, even between masturbation sessions and definitely between sexual encounters. Sometimes they rock your whole body and you're breathless afterward, sometimes they just feel good but they're not so intense. Sometimes you want more than one, sometimes one is enough. Sometimes they last a long time, other times they're over almost as soon as they begin.
And it never stops being fun, so don't worry that its "ruined".
And it never stops being fun, so don't worry that its "ruined".
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I don't think it's anything to worry about.
From the male perspective, most of us have done it daily from age 13 to ...however old they are now
, actual sex is still more desirable than an evening at home with yourself.
From the male perspective, most of us have done it daily from age 13 to ...however old they are now
, actual sex is still more desirable than an evening at home with yourself.
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Because you already know how it feels?
Thanks everyone for the replies, especially Jade, your post was very informative and comforting.
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Eudaimonist
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Only in a positive way for me. It helped me to learn about myself.
I'm male, so I don't know how it is for women.
eudaimonia,
Mark
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As a male I cannot say directly, however from my experience, it seems that my sexual partners that touch do seem to enjoy sex more than the ones who do not. There could be other causes (for instance if one is insecure about sex to the point of not masturbating then perhaps the same insecurities will affect the regular sex life), so you can take my experience as you like.
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What Chajara said. From a man's perspective, I've observed that women's [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] come in all shapes and sizes (sorry about the pun). Also, I have had many female friends and lovers say that [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] while masturbating are often a poor substitute for sex with a lover.
But obviously all my information is second-hand
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CounselorForChrist
Senior Veteran
This is a complicated subject to some degree.
It is good to MB simply because you can learn how your body works so when your with someone you can teach them what seems to work for you to get you going. But at the same time since women (or at least stats say so) don't seem reach the big "O" when having sex. Which is another topic in itself. Anyways... so if your only able to pleasure yourself it might ruin sex simply because you may turn down sex so pleasure yourself since its the only way you feel anything.
This is why I tell people make sure as a woman you teach your partner how to get you to that point of the big "O". Because for some it can ruin the marriage when the women feels the man gets pleasure and she gets none really. After having had sex earlier in life I feel less excited when it comes to MBing. Sex is much more personal and bonding. MBing is just kinda bland and lets fact it, theres no one to snuggle with after. Thats just me though.
Oh and to answer your question, Oing is not the same as having sex really. Theres alot involved in sex that brings along other sensations and feeling. Maybe the moment of Oing is relativly the same, but the rest is something you can't feel by yourself (er, no pun inteded). Not to mention if someone else is controliing the pleasure, they can really drive a woman into exctacy. I say this from expirience. lol
It is good to MB simply because you can learn how your body works so when your with someone you can teach them what seems to work for you to get you going. But at the same time since women (or at least stats say so) don't seem reach the big "O" when having sex. Which is another topic in itself. Anyways... so if your only able to pleasure yourself it might ruin sex simply because you may turn down sex so pleasure yourself since its the only way you feel anything.
This is why I tell people make sure as a woman you teach your partner how to get you to that point of the big "O". Because for some it can ruin the marriage when the women feels the man gets pleasure and she gets none really. After having had sex earlier in life I feel less excited when it comes to MBing. Sex is much more personal and bonding. MBing is just kinda bland and lets fact it, theres no one to snuggle with after. Thats just me though.
Oh and to answer your question, Oing is not the same as having sex really. Theres alot involved in sex that brings along other sensations and feeling. Maybe the moment of Oing is relativly the same, but the rest is something you can't feel by yourself (er, no pun inteded). Not to mention if someone else is controliing the pleasure, they can really drive a woman into exctacy. I say this from expirience. lol
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citizenthom
I'm not sayin'. I'm just sayin'.
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As the consensus here states, there is little comparison between [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] through masturbation and [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] through mutual sexual activity. The physical and mental stimulation is much different, the buildup stronger, and the release generally MUCH more complete.
The workbooks we went through during premarital counseling and early in marriage seemed to agree that unlike men, women often have to "learn to [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]," and suggested trying lesser forms of stimulation together (like masturbation) to help that process along. Not saying whether or not I condone it before marriage--that's between you and God--but once you are married it may be something that helps you along.
And as one other poster pointed out, the biggest risk of frequent masturbation for either gender is that your body gets too stuck in one activity or motion. Do watch out for that.
The workbooks we went through during premarital counseling and early in marriage seemed to agree that unlike men, women often have to "learn to [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]," and suggested trying lesser forms of stimulation together (like masturbation) to help that process along. Not saying whether or not I condone it before marriage--that's between you and God--but once you are married it may be something that helps you along.
And as one other poster pointed out, the biggest risk of frequent masturbation for either gender is that your body gets too stuck in one activity or motion. Do watch out for that.
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