Separate bank accounts...??

[MyKidsDaddy]

How do you handle the finances in your marriage? Do you split the bill proportionately to the income? Do you keep separate bank accounts? Does your spouse have access to the balances? Do you keep your spouse up to date about the balances?

This has been a very difficult area for me in my marriage. My wife was a SAHM for 15 years and she did not want to handle the bill paying. I was part of that problem. I did not handle her mistakes gracefully. I would like to know how others handle this.

Thanks,

MKD

 

[LoisGriffin]

We have had joint accounts since we got engaged. Its fairly easy for us and never been a problem. We don't spend what we don't have and for any big purchases we speak about it beforehand.

I really don't I personally could have done seperate accounts. Having everything joint made me think our money instead of my money and stopped me spending like I did when I was single.

With regards to bills most come out automatically which is easier. Bills are always paid before any luxuries which is something we both agree on.

 

[RobinRedbreast]

We have two joint accounts, and they have been joint since before we were even married.

I have a third account in my name only but it's only because we never got around to closing it. I've made use of it though by moving money there that is for the car insurance payments or the electric bill which only comes every two months, this way we don't accidentally spend the money or accidentally consider it part of our savings. My husband has my pin number and online banking password (and vice-versa) and could access this third account if he wanted to. He never has a reason, I think I handle the bill-paying very well

 

[HuntingMan]

How do you handle the finances in your marriage? Do you split the bill proportionately to the income? Do you keep separate bank accounts? Does your spouse have access to the balances? Do you keep your spouse up to date about the balances?

This has been a very difficult area for me in my marriage. My wife was a SAHM for 15 years and she did not want to handle the bill paying. I was part of that problem. I did not handle her mistakes gracefully. I would like to know how others handle this.

Thanks,

MKD

We have two checking accounts that we have in both names and we both have complete access.
My check is deposited into one acct, Lauras into the other.
I typically do all the finances. Ive tried to show her but she doesnt seem to have much interest in it, so I just go ahead and handle it all. Most of the time she doesnt really even know how much she has in her account, so when she wants to buy something she asks me if we have the money, which the answer is always yes so far...tho we generally pay for everything we buy with credit cards and just pay it off immediately from one of the checking accounts.

The thing Ive found is that its 'best' for one spouse to handle the bills. Every instance Ive seen personally where both are grabbing money out here and there always resulted in overdrafts and fees.

Tho we've got a system now that works perfect.
We have a dry erase board where we list out our bank accounts, her savings, bills, car loan, etc.....and every few days I will check the balances on each and update the board. The board hangs on the wall in the hallway so we pass it many times a day, so we can see what we owe on everything and what we have in the bank at a glance. Since Ive done this shes been more able to see where we are overall much easier so she knows immediately if we can afford to buy something or not (tho she doesnt spend much at all personally...I literally have to push her into buying herself things from time to time).

 

[EbonNelumbo]

We have separate bank accounts but we're on each others so it's just two joint accounts.

We share everything equally.

 

[Adamantium]

We have a joint checking and a joint savings. All of our bills are paid out of our joint checking. At first I took care of some bills and he took care of others, but we had a couple of instances where we got confused about who was paying what, and ended up very nearly being late. So for the time being, he takes care of all the bills. We can both view our bank balances online at any time, and we both do check fairly frequently. I would imagine that when I stop working, I'll take over the bill paying, since I'll have more time.

Now, my husband also has an account in his own name that is strictly for business purposes. It makes the IRS happier when you don't mix your personal and your business's funds.

 

[Birbitt]

Dh and I have separate accounts (our checks are direct deposit) but we both have access to both accounts. Also for us what we do is after we figure the bills and such for each paycheck we decide how much money that week that we will each get as "free" money which is money that we can spend freely without discussing it with each other. Then anything else we wish to buy we talk to each other first.

 

[MyKidsDaddy]

Thanks everyone so far for your responses. It sounds as though the joint accounts or joint 'access' works for 'working marriages'.

My wife started working a few years back as a waitress, opened her own account and thought that I should not have any need to know how much she has. (She eventually let me have access to view the accounts, but no check writing privleges. Which is okay by me). We did not budget the bills together. I was better at bill paying and reconciling the accounts. She blamed / claimed that I always said NO to anything she wanted to purchase. At times it was true..money was scarce and her free spending was causing us problems. I did tell her that I wanted both of us to work on a budget so that she would have her 'spend how I want - no questions asked' money. She would never work with me.

Since moving out in July, she has been late on at least one bill each month. I wish I could help, but I'm trying to keep out of her business. Now that the end of year is approaching...I always file taxes for us. I'll run the numbers to see which filing method is best for us, but I'm afraid that she may owe more taxes on her income than she had taken out. I'll say nothing until i see if that is the case.

 

[chessterbester]

We have a joint checking account, and I have my own checking and savings due to an inheritence. He has his own credit card. It works for us now. When we are both working better jobs, we'll probably have separate checking accounts, and use our joint for bills. We are very in sync with finances, we do the bills together and sit down weekly to touch base on how we are doing.

 

[fated]

How do you handle the finances in your marriage? Do you split the bill proportionately to the income? Do you keep separate bank accounts? Does your spouse have access to the balances? Do you keep your spouse up to date about the balances?

This has been a very difficult area for me in my marriage. My wife was a SAHM for 15 years and she did not want to handle the bill paying. I was part of that problem. I did not handle her mistakes gracefully. I would like to know how others handle this.

Thanks,

MKD

We have a joint account and always have since we got married. My wife pays the bills, which might seem unfair, but most are automated, so its only three or four bills a month. Sometimes not even that (we pay our water bill off three months ahead, for instance).

This works well, because we aren't riding on the edge of overspending as we had the unfortunate circumstance of doing in the past.

I think for some couples more personal accountability might be required, but, in general I think joint accounts are preferable.

I'm a SAHD and so I spend most of the money and she makes the money. Spending the money carting children around, though, is not a part of my job she really wants.

We discuss finances regularly and so that solves other problems that might occur.

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

We have a joint account and two savings account. One in his name (that he had before we were married) and one joint savings. We work out the budget together but he pays the bills because he seems to be more responsible in that regard. Other purchases we have to agree on and if we don't agree we don't buy it.

 

[lovesbrightpink]

we have one checking and one savings, we both have access to both. We put all of our money into the checking and I usually pay the bills.

Its not my money or his money, its our money. There have been times in our
relationship(4 and a half years now) that he has made alot more then me and times where I have made more then him.

We are one, our money is one. My car is in my name, but its his too. Our bed, even though he bought the matress is mine too.

I really would not feel ok with his money being his and having my own.

Why act like a single person still, in a way its like treating your spouse as a roommate?

 

[Antje]

The simple answer is that we have a joint account where all our income goes and out of which all our expenses are paid. There are a few boring details and exceptions to that answer, but you get the idea.

 

[WolfGate]

We have separate checking and joint savings, but each of us has visibility and access to the others account on-line. The separate checking is really a left over from before we got married. Since she became a SAHM, I've paid all the bills and she just transfers money to her account whenever.

We haven't had a money argument in over 10 years. Why? Because we agree on a detailed budget that includes money for discretionary spending, each of our clothing, stuff for the kids, etc. The budget is tracked in Quicken. So, if she wants new shoes, and she has money in the budget, she can buy them and there is no problem on my end. If there isn't money, she waits until the budget has built up enough. It's really been a perfect solution.

I don't understand the concept of married people feeling their spouse shouldn't have visibility and full disclosure of the others finances and accounts. Seems wrong on every level.

 

[Gods4me]

we have an account each. all the payment come out of my bank account and all our money goes in to hubbys account so when he gets paid we transer the money ver to my account. and then the money get spent from there. any time were out we both get mini statments so we know exactly how much money weve got in each account. we know each others pin numbers and we take out each others money. we really should make our account joint. we are in each others pockets we dont have this is your money this is my money we share money and if we are going to by somthing then the other one knows about it and we know how much each other is spending.

im a stay at home mum so dont make any money. and i take care of all the bill but over the past few months i have set up a direct debit for all of our bills except the cridit cards. which is sooo good. we dont argue about if ive for got to pay a bill any more cause it just gets paid and im really bad for remebering to pay bills.

 

[Ryanswife]

My husband and I have joint accounts. I handle all of the bills because I am better with numbers etc. so my husband likes for me to do all of that. We don't really have to live on a budget so we both can usually spend money as we please with no problems.

 

[WolfGate]

We don't really have to live on a budget so we both can usually spend money as we please with no problems.

As a quick sidebar (and then I'll get out of your personal business), you may not have to live on a budget, but I'd put forth that every couple should develop and follow a budget. Regardless of your income and obligations, it allows you to be better stewards of the money God has given you, to properly plan for long term financial desires, to avoid debt, and to build wealth. Not to mention, if a financial shock does occur (layoff for example) you can immediately figure out what the impact is and how much you have to have to get through it. Keeps a speedbump from becoming a crisis.

We are in the same situation. I have a very good income. But having a budget has been a real blessing.

Some people misunderstand a budget to be something that tells you that you can't spend money. Done right, it actually frees you up to spend money wisely in areas that you've already decided are important to you.

 

[Ryanswife]

Oh, don't get me wrong.....we save and have money set aside for emergency etc. I suppose I just meant that we don't have to pinch pennies and are able to buy alot of the things that we want without suffering financially for it.