Would you (guys) date a single mom?

[trulyliving]

I don't know how to start polls in here, and maybe this has already been asked, but I thought I'd do some qualitative research first and then do a quantitative poll a little later...

Anyway:

1. Would you ever date a single mom if there was all the other things in there that would attract you to her as a person?

2. If not, would you be attracted and want to get to know her BUT take longer (if at all) in actually deciding to allow yourself to date her or hesitate in some other way? Why?

3. Would you marry a single mom after dating her and feel that you want to?

4. If it's no problem, or if you have dated single moms before, did you have alot of "warnings" from friends or family? Did you go against others' advice?

5. If you are someone who has warned your friend/ brother/ father/ cousin, etc. about dating someone they really liked who was a single mother, why did you do so?

I always thought it's no big deal, but after giving my life to Christ and having more boundaries in regards to dating, I'm now not dating period. Non-believers are so open and friendly, but Christian guys..... I don't know, maybe it's 'cuz like magnets repel or something. So I wonder now if it's because I'm a single mommy.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

yes, n/a, yes, yes, not because of her mom status

 

[deliciousBass]

Well considering I'm divorced and have a son who lives with his mom, I'm much more open to dating a single mom than say, a typical bachelor.

1. Yes, definitely.

2. n/a.

3. Yes, definitely.

4. I know a lot of what it entails so I have a good idea of what to watch out for and how to behave. So I guess you could say I'm aware of the warnings. Nobody that I know would warn me against dating a single mom.

5. They are not prepared for the responsibility and potential drama that goes along with that kind of a relationship. Also, lots of men aren't willing to raise somebody else's kid and especially if the father comes around and is jealous, etc. And if the guy is an attention seeker and is needy, then a single mom might not be for him since she has other priorities as well..

 

[kingoffools13]

I wouldn't suggest that others NOT do it, but i would be less likely to do so. Not that it would stop me, but at this point in my life I simply don't fancy raising someone else's children. I think children deserve love and I would want to be sure I could love them first before even thinking about it, so it would take a lot of time getting to know them first I think.

K
O
f

 

[Divinah]

I don't know how to start polls in here, and maybe this has already been asked, but I thought I'd do some qualitative research first and then do a quantitative poll a little later...

Anyway:

1. Would you ever date a single mom if there was all the other things in there that would attract you to her as a person?

2. If not, would you be attracted and want to get to know her BUT take longer (if at all) in actually deciding to allow yourself to date her or hesitate in some other way? Why?

3. Would you marry a single mom after dating her and feel that you want to?

4. If it's no problem, or if you have dated single moms before, did you have alot of "warnings" from friends or family? Did you go against others' advice?

5. If you are someone who has warned your friend/ brother/ father/ cousin, etc. about dating someone they really liked who was a single mother, why did you do so?

I always thought it's no big deal, but after giving my life to Christ and having more boundaries in regards to dating, I'm now not dating period. Not that you shouldn't date...but it's good to have your focus on God and your family. If you embrace that ... you'll be amazed at how much you can grow and be blessed. Non-believers are so open and friendly, but Christian guys..... I don't know, maybe it's 'cuz like magnets repel or something. Well, worldly guys are going to play whatever role to get what they want...for the most part...they're like men that way...don't let that discourage or confuse you. So I wonder now if it's because I'm a single mommy.

Maybe, maybe not. As with anyone in any situation...it's hard to meet people and when you set out to do so, it can be even more discouraging when you don't make any connections. Sure, it's going to be harder for a single mother but as with anyone...God will bring you to the right person in HIS time...our focus in the meantime is to grow toward the person HE wants US to be...and this will in turn help you in your plight to "find Mr. Right".
​

 

[2scoops]

1. Would you ever date a single mom if there was all the other things in there that would attract you to her as a person?

Yes, but just like any other relationship, it takes time to see if 2 people are equally yoked. I know it can be difficult to end a relationship, especial when attached to the child.

2. If not, would you be attracted and want to get to know her BUT take longer (if at all) in actually deciding to allow yourself to date her or hesitate in some other way? Why?

I think one maybe more cautious, like previously stated, getting attached to the child and seeing the relationship not going some where could weigh on the mind. But as we all know, with God ALL things are possible.

3. Would you marry a single mom after dating her and feel that you want to?

Sure, if you pray about it and get wisdom from God and yu believe He is in it, absolutelty.

4. If it's no problem, or if you have dated single moms before, did you have alot of "warnings" from friends or family? Did you go against others' advice?

I have personally dated a singe mom. I did have some church memebers try and deter me. When I think back, they weren't doing it out of love, just doing it out of self righteouness. It did not deter me from seeing her. I guess we have to realize there's TRUTH, then there's other people's hang ups. As with any relationship, I think it's good to just take it little by little. But, we shouldn't judge anyone from their past, but to examine where they are today. Other so called Chrisitans can be some of the most biased people. When Jesus calls everyone to fogive, it is mandatory, or we will not be forgiven. We all have sinned, and we all have violated God's law.


5. If you are someone who has warned your friend/ brother/ father/ cousin, etc. about dating someone they really liked who was a single mother, why did you do so?

I think some people do that because of religious training, or because they themselves might not want to, therefore they believe you shouldn't do it. But, different people have different reasons.


I always thought it's no big deal, but after giving my life to Christ and having more boundaries in regards to dating, I'm now not dating period. Non-believers are so open and friendly, but Christian guys..... I don't know, maybe it's 'cuz like magnets repel or something. So I wonder now if it's because I'm a single mommy.


Well, we can't judge and say every chrisitan guy. Some people's religious ideas are programmed into them from parents and other church memebers. You just need to find a Chrisitan guy who seeks TRUTH.

 

[JonMiller]

Yeah, but I would want to know that we were forming a new family that was her and her child's (assuming the child lived with the mom) family, not that the previous child was part of some other family... (or even more unacceptable, that she and the child were part of some other family).

JM

 

[jream]

I was going to fill out the numbers and say I would, but I really don't think I would to be honest. I wanted to sound nice but I thought I'm only fooling me

 

[Divinah]

People are going to be more cautious not wanting the child / children involved to be hurt. I would not want my son to involve himself with a single mother anymore than I want him to get married/a girl pregnant before he's ready. So maybe when people deter others it's not just about you being a single mom. There are so many other factors involved you can't wrap yourself up in trying to figure them out. Ours is a difficult and Glorious task...being a single mom...and setting out to do it successfully in the Lord...focus and that...on HIM first and all other things will be added...including a man...in due time...if it's his WILL.

 

[2scoops]

People are going to be more cautious not wanting the child / children involved to be hurt. I would not want my son to involve himself with a single mother anymore than I want him to get married/a girl pregnant before he's ready. So maybe when people deter others it's not just about you being a single mom. There are so many other factors involved you can't wrap yourself up in trying to figure them out. Ours is a difficult and Glorious task...being a single mom...and setting out to do it successfully in the Lord...focus and that...on HIM first and all other things will be added...including a man...in due time...if it's his WILL.

Amen

 

[stormgade4]

1. Would you ever date a single mom if there was all the other things in there that would attract you to her as a person?
Nope

2. If not, would you be attracted and want to get to know her BUT take longer (if at all) in actually deciding to allow yourself to date her or hesitate in some other way? Why?
Nope. Because.

3. Would you marry a single mom after dating her and feel that you want to?
Nope

4. If it's no problem, or if you have dated single moms before, did you have alot of "warnings" from friends or family? Did you go against others' advice?
N/A

5. If you are someone who has warned your friend/ brother/ father/ cousin, etc. about dating someone they really liked who was a single mother, why did you do so?
It had more to do with her than her "single mom" status.

 

[Luther073082]

Anyway:

1. Would you ever date a single mom if there was all the other things in there that would attract you to her as a person?

Yeah, the fact that she has a child though is a part of the equation.

2. If not, would you be attracted and want to get to know her BUT take longer (if at all) in actually deciding to allow yourself to date her or hesitate in some other way? Why?

Being a mother would make me hesitate quite a bit. I want children of my own and many single mothers don't want anymore children. So if she didn't want anymore kids then no I really couldn't date her. Also I'd be concern about the affect of the child's father in *our* life. A big part of this would also have to do with the child's behavior. If he's a good kid thats fine I would just have to be willing to play step dad. But I have seen some kids that honestly it wouldn't matter if their mom was hotter and richer then Carrie Underwood I wouldn't date her.

3. Would you marry a single mom after dating her and feel that you want to?

As soon as I start thinking that I'm not going to marry someone. I'm not going to date them anymore. There is no point in dating someone you know you won't marry.

4. If it's no problem, or if you have dated single moms before, did you have alot of "warnings" from friends or family? Did you go against others' advice?

What kind of warnings?

5. If you are someone who has warned your friend/ brother/ father/ cousin, etc. about dating someone they really liked who was a single mother, why did you do so?

Still don't quite understand the question. My parents might not be thrilled about me dating a single mother but they arn't going to freak out about it. And I'm not going to let it affect me.

I always thought it's no big deal, but after giving my life to Christ and having more boundaries in regards to dating, I'm now not dating period. Non-believers are so open and friendly, but Christian guys..... I don't know, maybe it's 'cuz like magnets repel or something. So I wonder now if it's because I'm a single mommy.

I don't think thats necessarily it. A lot of this depends on how old you are. If you are 18 then yeah its a much bigger deal then if you are 25. . . but if you are 25 its still important. If you are 45 though, its almost sort of expected.

 

[soccerdad66]

I don't know how to start polls in here, and maybe this has already been asked, but I thought I'd do some qualitative research first and then do a quantitative poll a little later...

Anyway:

1. Would you ever date a single mom if there was all the other things in there that would attract you to her as a person? Yes

2. If not, would you be attracted and want to get to know her BUT take longer (if at all) in actually deciding to allow yourself to date her or hesitate in some other way? Why?

3. Would you marry a single mom after dating her and feel that you want to? Yes

4. If it's no problem, or if you have dated single moms before, did you have alot of "warnings" from friends or family? Did you go against others' advice? The warnings were to make sure that she doesn't put her kids ahead of my son. This becomes more of an issue the more kids she has. The last girl I dated before I my current GF had 4 kids, and lots of drama.

5. If you are someone who has warned your friend/ brother/ father/ cousin, etc. about dating someone they really liked who was a single mother, why did you do so? Same reason listed above.

I always thought it's no big deal, but after giving my life to Christ and having more boundaries in regards to dating, I'm now not dating period. Non-believers are so open and friendly, but Christian guys..... I don't know, maybe it's 'cuz like magnets repel or something. So I wonder now if it's because I'm a single mommy. Strikes me as odd you would say that, but I guess it would depend on your church setting, some church are a lot more open then others. I don't think there's a difference between non-Christians and Christians in this area. I know of non-christian guys who won't date single moms, and guys like Tom Leykis tell guys not to date single moms, cuz they are only after being a dad to their kids, etc.

 

[Sketcher]

Single moms deserve a lot of credit and in many cases deserve a good man. But I don't want to have a relationship with one, because I don't want to rush into fatherhood. I'd rather have 9 months to prepare, and have that natural love for a child that comes when a man sires him or her. I can very easily see myself being the stereotypical stepdad, which I do not want to be. Children deserve better than that. There's also the issue of the child not accepting me as a father figure, which I wouldn't want to go through.

 

[Divinah]

Don't let these guys harsh ur vibe too much.

I don't know many fathers who...while they rejoice at their newborns...just hours earlier paced the floor with part of them wanting to just BOLT!

This is the side of Man you appeal to when you ask such a question.

So, going in...I have to advocate some of them to say,I've wondered about men who seem too anxious to jump in myself...I don't even think it's a good idea. I kind of respect and appreciate men more who kind of hold back looking at the big picture...kind of with that "Bolt" uncertainty in their eyes. And this is funny because I haven't even dated since I've been separated...but there are friends and some who are interested and such.

But there are good men and they are hard to find...with or without children. And the appeal between people varies so much w/ or w/o children. Just keep that in mind and don't be discouraged.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

I'd totally make her get her hymen welded back in though.

 

[Divinah]

,
​

or
when you say sumthin like that now.

I'd totally make her get her hymen welded back in though.

 

[Brotherfromanothermother]

I'd totally make her get her hymen welded back in though.

lol





Yes to all the questions except in the case of a woman with kids from multiple baby daddies.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

It only costs $8,000.00 you know...

 

[Divinah]

...you picked up some "nicer" eyebrows...your statment wouldn't seem so mean. We need to hook you up with a nice set of "smiling" eyebrows. Ya think?

It only costs $8,000.00 you know...