- Jun 5, 2020
- 1,412
- 653
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
Do you remember that song with the words, “Are you going to stay with the one who loves you, are are you going back to the one you love? Someone going to cry when they learn they've lost you, someones going to thank the stars above.”
This is a true story of how I met my husband and faced a situation spelled out in that song. Yet to begin this story we need first to go back to Delaware Park in Buffalo. Corey, my husband, was happy. He finally ended a bad relationship that would have had him repeating his parents mistake. Now he was running because in running he forget all his troubles and cleared his distractions so he could pray. During that running one day he heard a voice in his head say, “Time to settle down.”
“Why?” he prayed. He was happy, satisfied, all women had been to him was trouble only, again he heard, “Time to settle down.”
He asked, “where?” not expecting an answer. He heard, “at church.” He thought, “at church?” All he could think of were the priests, nuns, altar boys, an aging organist. Then he remembered there was a folk group at the twelve O'clock. He resolved to go.
While he was going through this I was dating a nice young man Named David whom I thought might be “mister right”. Weeks turned to months and months to years, however and he never popped the question. Frustrated I decided to confront him.
He told me he as fearful he killed his mom. I listened as he explain she always complained she was dying and insisted she had every illness that turned up on TV. By his teenage years he was convinced she was nothing but a hypochondriac and so one day when she complained she was “dying” he growled back, “then why don't you die and just get it over with!”
She did, of a massive heart attack and he believed he killed her and feared he “murder again”. I was stunned and tried to get him to see his mom had a weak heart and died from that. It was coincidence he just happen to upset her and that day her heart gave out.
He agreed grudgingly, but still couldn't shake that he murdered her and could murder me. I recommended counseling saying, “You will never commit without overcoming this grief and fear so its the only way.”
He agreed however weeks past and he never contacted a counselor. When I asked he always gave one excuse or another. Finally as Easter came and past and the air started warming I told him I would not wait for ever, if he couldn't commit to getting well for me he would move forward in life without me.
David's answer was to join him on a trip to the south towns and there we'd discuss our differences and see if this relationship could go on or had to end. Frustrated I agreed and a date was set for the last weekend in May.
All this was going on with me when my husband heard, “time to settle down.” So when he showed up at the twelve O'Clock and found at least five eligible ladies singing or playing guitars he set down to pick the best choice, and chose a black haired beauty that sang like an angle. She agreed.
Yet their date was less than stellar as the facade she carried at Mass fell and he realized with a start he chosen badly again, judging by looks alone. It took a few dates to be sure but in the end they both decided mutually to part ways. He returned to the park.
Running, satisfied, assuming that voice came from his imagination he decided to just stay the way he was. It had been a mistake he thought, until that voice sounded again, “Time to settle down.”
“I tried that, it failed,” he stammered back, but the voice was unrelenting, “Time to settle down.”
So he asked, “where?”
“At Church.” He sighed and then gave in and returned to the 12:00. Yet this time he decided to watch, wait and see. So as April moved to May he watch the choir.
And from the choir, I watched him unaware of his conversation at the park. I knew he took another of us out and she found him nice but “not my style”. And I was still with my boyfriend that special weekend date still a few weeks off.
So when he looked up into the choir, I dropped my eyes, or turned away. I was taken was my thought; She's flirtatious, was his. This went on as did the of month of May. Then in the third week of May I did something I probably done a million times but that my husband Corey never saw before.
My niece Michelle was upset, I no longer remember why, I only know that seeing her slouch and tears forming in her eyes, I bent down and gave her a hug. She smiled and Corey knew, I was the one.
He explained to me later, “You were not afraid to show affection publicly and that was something I sought.” So leaving church that day he decided to ask me out next week. That week happened to be the last week of May. That was the very weekend David and I had decided to head south to work things out.
To make this story brief that weekend went badly; as the weekend ended so did our relationship. David called me Monday afternoon as I was getting ready for second shift at my work and rehashed his old arguments but I stood firm. Still I was crying as I hung up. I love him, but I also knew the relationship of broken promises would not work.
So when Corey came to church that Sunday, I wasn't among the folk group, I was breaking up with David, and then as Mass ended Father Griffin said, “this is the last week for the folk group as they start their well deserved summer vacation.” Corey was stunned, he didn't even know my name at that time.
After he recovered from his shock he remembered Rosemary, the church secretary, if anyone knew who I was, she would. On Monday he hurried over to the rectory and asked Rosemary about me. I came from a family of female singers so it was easy for her to know it was one of those.
Rosemary got the name right, and many other details only mixed up mine and Susan's jobs. So when Corey showed up at our house on La Salle and rang the door asking for me, he didn't expect me to be heading off to work when most people were coming home from work at that time.
Of course when my mom called up to me that someone was at the door, I had just hung up for what I was sure was the last time with David and was blubbering terribly. I quickly washed my face and combed my hair and came down wearing hot pants and teeshirt. I worked second shift in a hot dirty warehouse.
He was standing at the bottom of the stairs and introduced himself saying he knew me from church. I said, “Hi”, not certain what else to say. He asked to to a ball game with a concert following at the Rock Pile, I think it was the Guess Who. I liked the Guess Who and thought, “this doesn't mean anything”.
At that date I found him funny and charming, he opened doors for me and spoiled me; he was easy to love. Then one date became another, ball games moved to movies and movies to restaurants.
Time went by and Corey was clearly in love with me, only I wasn't sure of my feelings. Was it love or rebound? The evening before he popped the question David called telling me telling me he'd gone to a counselor and it was going well and asked if I'd consider taking him back.
So when Corey popped the question I told him I needed more time. Corey said to my surprise, “Take all the time you need, I already know your answer”. Those words spooked me. I almost said no for that reason alone. However, when I thought about it, I knew he was right, and I never regretted choosing the one who loved me.
This is a true story of how I met my husband and faced a situation spelled out in that song. Yet to begin this story we need first to go back to Delaware Park in Buffalo. Corey, my husband, was happy. He finally ended a bad relationship that would have had him repeating his parents mistake. Now he was running because in running he forget all his troubles and cleared his distractions so he could pray. During that running one day he heard a voice in his head say, “Time to settle down.”
“Why?” he prayed. He was happy, satisfied, all women had been to him was trouble only, again he heard, “Time to settle down.”
He asked, “where?” not expecting an answer. He heard, “at church.” He thought, “at church?” All he could think of were the priests, nuns, altar boys, an aging organist. Then he remembered there was a folk group at the twelve O'clock. He resolved to go.
While he was going through this I was dating a nice young man Named David whom I thought might be “mister right”. Weeks turned to months and months to years, however and he never popped the question. Frustrated I decided to confront him.
He told me he as fearful he killed his mom. I listened as he explain she always complained she was dying and insisted she had every illness that turned up on TV. By his teenage years he was convinced she was nothing but a hypochondriac and so one day when she complained she was “dying” he growled back, “then why don't you die and just get it over with!”
She did, of a massive heart attack and he believed he killed her and feared he “murder again”. I was stunned and tried to get him to see his mom had a weak heart and died from that. It was coincidence he just happen to upset her and that day her heart gave out.
He agreed grudgingly, but still couldn't shake that he murdered her and could murder me. I recommended counseling saying, “You will never commit without overcoming this grief and fear so its the only way.”
He agreed however weeks past and he never contacted a counselor. When I asked he always gave one excuse or another. Finally as Easter came and past and the air started warming I told him I would not wait for ever, if he couldn't commit to getting well for me he would move forward in life without me.
David's answer was to join him on a trip to the south towns and there we'd discuss our differences and see if this relationship could go on or had to end. Frustrated I agreed and a date was set for the last weekend in May.
All this was going on with me when my husband heard, “time to settle down.” So when he showed up at the twelve O'Clock and found at least five eligible ladies singing or playing guitars he set down to pick the best choice, and chose a black haired beauty that sang like an angle. She agreed.
Yet their date was less than stellar as the facade she carried at Mass fell and he realized with a start he chosen badly again, judging by looks alone. It took a few dates to be sure but in the end they both decided mutually to part ways. He returned to the park.
Running, satisfied, assuming that voice came from his imagination he decided to just stay the way he was. It had been a mistake he thought, until that voice sounded again, “Time to settle down.”
“I tried that, it failed,” he stammered back, but the voice was unrelenting, “Time to settle down.”
So he asked, “where?”
“At Church.” He sighed and then gave in and returned to the 12:00. Yet this time he decided to watch, wait and see. So as April moved to May he watch the choir.
And from the choir, I watched him unaware of his conversation at the park. I knew he took another of us out and she found him nice but “not my style”. And I was still with my boyfriend that special weekend date still a few weeks off.
So when he looked up into the choir, I dropped my eyes, or turned away. I was taken was my thought; She's flirtatious, was his. This went on as did the of month of May. Then in the third week of May I did something I probably done a million times but that my husband Corey never saw before.
My niece Michelle was upset, I no longer remember why, I only know that seeing her slouch and tears forming in her eyes, I bent down and gave her a hug. She smiled and Corey knew, I was the one.
He explained to me later, “You were not afraid to show affection publicly and that was something I sought.” So leaving church that day he decided to ask me out next week. That week happened to be the last week of May. That was the very weekend David and I had decided to head south to work things out.
To make this story brief that weekend went badly; as the weekend ended so did our relationship. David called me Monday afternoon as I was getting ready for second shift at my work and rehashed his old arguments but I stood firm. Still I was crying as I hung up. I love him, but I also knew the relationship of broken promises would not work.
So when Corey came to church that Sunday, I wasn't among the folk group, I was breaking up with David, and then as Mass ended Father Griffin said, “this is the last week for the folk group as they start their well deserved summer vacation.” Corey was stunned, he didn't even know my name at that time.
After he recovered from his shock he remembered Rosemary, the church secretary, if anyone knew who I was, she would. On Monday he hurried over to the rectory and asked Rosemary about me. I came from a family of female singers so it was easy for her to know it was one of those.
Rosemary got the name right, and many other details only mixed up mine and Susan's jobs. So when Corey showed up at our house on La Salle and rang the door asking for me, he didn't expect me to be heading off to work when most people were coming home from work at that time.
Of course when my mom called up to me that someone was at the door, I had just hung up for what I was sure was the last time with David and was blubbering terribly. I quickly washed my face and combed my hair and came down wearing hot pants and teeshirt. I worked second shift in a hot dirty warehouse.
He was standing at the bottom of the stairs and introduced himself saying he knew me from church. I said, “Hi”, not certain what else to say. He asked to to a ball game with a concert following at the Rock Pile, I think it was the Guess Who. I liked the Guess Who and thought, “this doesn't mean anything”.
At that date I found him funny and charming, he opened doors for me and spoiled me; he was easy to love. Then one date became another, ball games moved to movies and movies to restaurants.
Time went by and Corey was clearly in love with me, only I wasn't sure of my feelings. Was it love or rebound? The evening before he popped the question David called telling me telling me he'd gone to a counselor and it was going well and asked if I'd consider taking him back.
So when Corey popped the question I told him I needed more time. Corey said to my surprise, “Take all the time you need, I already know your answer”. Those words spooked me. I almost said no for that reason alone. However, when I thought about it, I knew he was right, and I never regretted choosing the one who loved me.
