Dumbest Jokes of All Time

[Vesper_Jaye✝️]

What’s brown and sticky?
A stick

What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer?
“We are both lawyers”

What do a banana and a helicopter have in common?
Neither of them is a mailman

 

[Michie]

 

[returntosender]

I don't get the last one

I've known one other vesper in my life time and she was at coppers forum.
Cute jokes
WELCOME!!

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Someone burgled the local police station and stole all the toilet seats. The police have nothing to go on.

 

[Michie]

 

[Vesper_Jaye✝️]

I don't get the last one

I've known one other vesper in my life time and she was at coppers forum.
Cute jokes
WELCOME!!

Thank you!!!

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Peter was the first cricketer in the Bible.

He stood up with the eleven and was bold!

 

[Vesper_Jaye✝️]

Peter was the first cricketer in the Bible.

He stood up with the eleven and was bold!

I don’t get it.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I don’t get it.

Oh! Ha ha! Cricket is a British sport which most Americans cannot understand!

 

[Der Alte]

Peter was the first cricketer in the Bible.

He stood up with the eleven and was bold!

You will have to explain that to us yanks. The only cricket we know are small, black, have six legs and chirp.

 

[Vesper_Jaye✝️]

Oh! Ha ha! Cricket is a British sport which most Americans cannot understand!

Oh, I was thinking the animal cricket lol

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

You will have to explain that to us yanks. The only cricket we know are small, black, have six legs and chirp.

Cricket is a game of eleven players on each side (batting or fielding) where a player with a long bat stands before a "wicket" of three upright short round pieces of wood. A bowler, bowls a hard red ball down the 22 yard pitch towards the batsman who tries to hit the ball. If he misses and the ball hits the "wicket" he is said to be "bowled" and walks back to the pavilion to be replaced by the next batsman.

 

[Der Alte]

A biker goes into a mega church. Typical biker long hair, beard, tatoos, leather jacket, clean but worn jeans and boots. The good church folk inch away from him. After the service the pastor stops him at the door and says "If you come back next week pray and ask God how you should dress when you come to this church."
The following Sunday the biker was back. The pastor stopped him at the door and said, "I thought I told you to ask God how you should dress when you come to this church." The biker said I did, He said "He didn't know, He's never been in this church."
.....Now for a real story. A biker pastor I know visited our somewhat conservative church. He could have been the biker in the above story. He said he visited another local church he wouldn't say which. He was stopped in the foyer and told "You can't come in here. You represent the world and we have separated from the world." Or words to that affect.

 

[Der Alte]

Cricket is a game of eleven players on each side (batting or fielding) where a player with a long bat stands before a "wicket" of three upright short round pieces of wood. A bowler, bowls a hard red ball down the 22 yard pitch towards the batsman who tries to hit the ball. If he misses and the ball hits the "wicket" he is said to be "bowled" and walks back to the pavilion to be replaced by the next batsman.

View attachment 310719

I knew what Cricket was but about all I knew was it had wickets, they threw some kind of ball and another guy tried to hit it with a big stick. By the way what is a sticky wicket?

 

[jesuslover811]

Could someone explain this joke to me? I have not finished the Hebrew Bible I just learned about Aaron yesterday.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I knew what Cricket was but about all I knew was it had wickets, they threw some kind of ball and another guy tried to hit it with a big stick. By the way what is a sticky wicket?

It is a saying when someone gets into a situation where things could not be as desired.

 

[Unofficial Reverand Alex]

A biker goes into a mega church. Typical biker long hair, beard, tatoos, leather jacket, clean but worn jeans and boots. The good church folk inch away from him. After the service the pastor stops him at the door and says "If you come back next week pray and ask God how you should dress when you come to this church."
The following Sunday the biker was back. The pastor stopped him at the door and said, "I thought I told you to ask God how you should dress when you come to this church." The biker said I did, He said "He didn't know, He's never been in this church."
.....Now for a real story. A biker pastor I know visited our somewhat conservative church. He could have been the biker in the above story. He said he visited another local church he wouldn't say which. He was stopped in the foyer and told "You can't come in here. You represent the world and we have separated from the world." Or words to that affect.

That's pretty funny! I just don't know if it counts as a joke...

In any case, I appreciate dumb jokes & here's my glorious contribution:

Ole walked into his house holding a pile of dog poop, and exclaimed to his wife, "Look what I almost stepped in!'

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

Why don't sharks eat clowns?
They taste funny.

 

[Der Alte]

That's pretty funny! I just don't know if it counts as a joke...

In any case, I appreciate dumb jokes & here's my glorious contribution:

Ole walked into his house holding a pile of dog poop, and exclaimed to his wife, "Look what I almost stepped in!'

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

Why don't sharks eat clowns?
They taste funny.

Which one? The one about the biker or the one about the biker?

 

[Unofficial Reverand Alex]

Which one? The one about the biker or the one about the biker?

The one about the biker!

 

[Vesper_Jaye✝️]

What was the most groundbreaking invention?
The shovel