Can't feel guilt or shame of my sins

[alive2Christ]

Hello,

I too often sin (lust) and unlike what some Youtube videos say about what to do after sinning, I just can't feel guilt or shame of what I did.
I would love to just respect God's laws and be able to truly repent because of some sort of guilt or attraction to getting back to God.
I try to ask for forgiveness after sinning but I think it's more because it's what everyone says, not because a strong unpleasant feeling attracts me to repent immediately.
I'm starting to wonder if I even am truly a Christian or just some person who tries to be one without truly being one
This is the same for most sins such as gossip or even thinking bad stuff on people. It's like nothing inside me is pulling me to God once I do a mistake
How is that? Since I can't even feel anything to truly get back to God after sinning, does that mean the relation with God I think I have is just pure imagination?

I struggle with that at times too. If it helps, John Bunyan went through a time when he couldn’t seem to feel anything. He couldn't seem to feel guilt or sorrow over sin. He just felt bland and feelingless, neither up nor down. He felt bad when he realised he couldn’t feel sorrow over sin like people he heard bemoaning their sins in their conversations with each other. He said he would have given all he had just to feel something. It’s a very distressing situation.

 

[Diamond7]

He couldn't seem to feel guilt or sorrow over sin.

We feel sorrow and regret when we get taken to the whipping post to pay the price for our sins.