Who would you side with ~ John or Christine?

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Huram2ch214

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John and Christine are in the church hall and hosting their seveth wedding anniversary. All their friends have joked about how their marriage is now safe. Standing before a large group of friends and family John recites how he believes his marriage was ordained in heaven and guided by angels. To everyone present John and Christine appear to be the perfect match. They're lives seem to just glid through all the difficulties and irritations that trouble the average marriage. But if you were to catch John alone and have a "man to man" talk with him, he might just "bare his chest" and surprize you. He has been troubled and rather upset with the way Christine has upset the family life with her frequent trips to her mother.
John is at heart a country boy. Sure he and the family now live in the inner city of Pittsburgh, but John actually grew up in "corn heaven" on a farm in Iowa. With his parents now pass away, the old family farm sits forlorn and vacant, yet very much alive in John's mind. Driving around the gray concrete life of Pittsburgh, John frequently retreats to his boyhood memories of miles and miles of green countryside, those acres and acres of rich black soil and sweet country air. And as he ponders those scenes, he often glances at the calendar at work to remind himself that soon he will leave Pittsburgh, perhaps this year! Leaving Pittsburgh and moving to the farm ~ that is John's objective. And it is this objective that keeps him going from week to week. With all his savings right on track, the loan from the bank is looking good, and the sale of the house will be no trouble. John's dream appears to be within reach. With these thoughts, John smiles to himself as he parks the car, its dark and he sees the bedroom light is on. "Christine must have turned in early". Actually, she is waiting for him in the bedroom because she is not sure how John is going to react to the news she has for him, and she doesn't want to disturb the children. This is where the story takes a diversion. Something unforseen just may derail John's dream.
Sitting out on the deck overlooking a fresh sun sparkled
morning grass, John's fist are clinched in anger. His memory constantly replays the bombshell of last night. Christine began with, "I just can't leave my mother like this". John remembers feeling relieved at first, the worried look on Christine's face made him think the whole thing was serious. Laughing, he responded with,"We'll take her with us, there's plenty of room in the old castle....in fact, I know just the room. You see, upstairs there's this.... Christine stops him, shaking her head, "Oh, John, you know thats not possible. With my mother's heart condition being way out in the country, if there's an emergency, it would be to late for a doctor". John now starting to feel the pounding of his own heart as he sees his dream start to go up in smoke. And knowing that look on Christine's face, he knew that nothing he said he change her mind. And that is when John got angry. His voice now takes on a different tone, "So, just what are you saying to me?" Christine noticing the change in John, she stands erect, and speaking slow and clear, "I am saying that I cannot leave my mother because she needs me". Speaking with sinister tone, John retorts, "Your Mother!" John's now becomes louder as he points his finger at Christine, "Your mother means more to you than me and the children". Christine, "Thats not true". John, "Christine, face the facts, it is true! You were the one who said that the move to the farm would benefit the kids by getting them away from the city kids and raise them up right on the farm". Christine tries to calm John down, answering softly, "I'm not saying we will never make the move, just not right now. Since my dad passed away, mom has no one to look after her. We are the only family she has". Suddenly the front door shuts and jolts John's mind back to the present. Last night's conversation fades away and Christine is calling. John does not answer. He has been mulling over how he would respond to Christine, "since she won't listen to me, I won't listen to her". Without so much as a word Christine watches as John gets up and walks to the car and drives away.
John's "silent treatment" has been going on for seven days now. He returns home, enters silently and sits out on the deck. Christine's "hellos" and soft touches are all ignored. Day after day the ordeal weighs heavily on Christine. Today she collapses across the bed feeling the tears tickle as they descend across her cheeks. "How long will this go on?" "Am I to blame?" "Should I move me and kids to mom's?" Suddenly she hears the front door, and now footssteps across the dining room. Running downstairs, Christine's voice quivers as she calls out, "John, John". She sees him sliding shut the patio door, and sitting down. Sliding open the door she pleads, "John, we cannot go on like this, its tearing us apart". John silently reaches for the newspaper and begins to read. "Ok", now choking back tears, Christine tries to speak calmly, "I will go with you to the farm, we'll move there just as you say. I will do it just as you planned. Ok?" John looking up into Christine's face, he shows no emotion, "I wondered just how long it would take you to get it right. Now do you promise to stop all this foolishness using your mother as a excuse to get out of house? She doesn't need your help, your job is with me and the kids. Do you promise? Well, do you?" Christine looking down sadly nods her head.
 

Blackhawk

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Huram2ch214,

Well the way the story was written I would have to side with Christine. ALthough both did wrong John was very selfish. They could still move out there after her mom got better or passed away.

Can I ask though is this a real story? If so and you are John or Christine or know them personally do not take my words as being right or wrong. The reason why I say that is that I am sure you tried but I do not think that the whole truth could be displayed in your story. If you are one of them the only thing I can say is to go to the other person in humility and try and work out the situation.

Blackhaw
 
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Huram2ch214

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But look at things from John's side for a moment. Here he is planning and planning for the big move to the Iowa farm with the assumption that his wife is firmly supporting him. The loan is going through, the savings is accumulating, the house is on the market soon then suddenly, BOOM, his wife is calling it quits because of her mother's health.
Tell me just how would you react?

(parts of the story are true ~ howbeit some changes have been added ~ I might add - I wouldn't be at all surprize if our readers could add similar/ horrific stories.
 
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Blackhawk

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I can see his point more clearly now. I still think he handled it wrong. Really wrong. But if her mom really is sick then I can see her side. She should of said something before now. if she is just saying that now so that hse can get out of moving then she is doing things in wrong way also. I think the best thing for them to do is to take time out and agree to come together and HONESTLY talk things through. My wife and I have communications all the time. We have just been married 6 months but we have made it a rule to honestly discuss our views and opinions of things. Only then can both parties be happy.

Blackhaw
 
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Huram2ch214

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I agree 100% with you Blackhawk that John handled it wrong. As the story bares it out, John's only concern is returning to his boyhood Iowa farm ~ he doesn't care a twit about Christine's concerns. I don't know if this is just a guy thing, us men can be so consumed with our job, with our sports, with anything, except with the people God wants us to care for. John is like living in his own little world, that if anything should interfer with his world he goes on a tantrum. I can see some of "John" in myself, but Philippians is a text I need to frequently meditate upon.
 
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