Vows, promises etc.

[phillev]

Hi everyone, please bear with me on this. I've had OCD for as long as I can remember and I'm now 54. My biggest issue lately has been making promises and vows and bearing in mind my OCD is harm related I don't really want to elaborate too much but sometimes they are horrible ones that pop into my head about hurting those nearest and dearest. Obviously the compulsion is to nullify these by saying the opposite. Well last week I was saying a vow out loud about not doing the certain thing but I can't be sure if I said I'd never do it or if I forgot to say never which obviously means I would. If you say a vow incorrectly does that mean it's still valid or can you put it right? I've said so many vows out loud about not doing anything bad but OCD then makes me doubt I have and it's just an endless cycle. Please can anyone give me some advice, thank you.

 

[Mari17]

Hi everyone, please bear with me on this. I've had OCD for as long as I can remember and I'm now 54. My biggest issue lately has been making promises and vows and bearing in mind my OCD is harm related I don't really want to elaborate too much but sometimes they are horrible ones that pop into my head about hurting those nearest and dearest. Obviously the compulsion is to nullify these by saying the opposite. Well last week I was saying a vow out loud about not doing the certain thing but I can't be sure if I said I'd never do it or if I forgot to say never which obviously means I would. If you say a vow incorrectly does that mean it's still valid or can you put it right? I've said so many vows out loud about not doing anything bad but OCD then makes me doubt I have and it's just an endless cycle. Please can anyone give me some advice, thank you.

Thank you for sharing! OCD can be so difficult to deal with. The fears you are sharing are very typical of OCD...both the harm obsession and the unwanted vow obsession. Are you familiar with how to treat OCD, for example using therapy or other mental strategies?

 

[phillev]

Thank you for sharing! OCD can be so difficult to deal with. The fears you are sharing are very typical of OCD...both the harm obsession and the unwanted vow obsession. Are you familiar with how to treat OCD, for example using therapy or other mental strategies?

Hello and thank you for the reply, I am familiar with ERP and have had the therapy and I do still use those tools to try and help my thought process. In fact some of the treatment would actually be to say and record the feared vow and listen to it over and over until my brain basically becomes numb to the idea. Unfortunately I haven't built myself up to this yet as I don't have the courage. There are so many contradictory comments on vows which doesn't help but I'm pretty sure a sinful one isn't binding anyway.

 

[Mari17]

Hello and thank you for the reply, I am familiar with ERP and have had the therapy and I do still use those tools to try and help my thought process. In fact some of the treatment would actually be to say and record the feared vow and listen to it over and over until my brain basically becomes numb to the idea. Unfortunately I haven't built myself up to this yet as I don't have the courage. There are so many contradictory comments on vows which doesn't help but I'm pretty sure a sinful one isn't binding anyway.

I hope to write a longer response later, but did want to share a link to this online support group. Christianity and Anxiety Disorders
I can also share links to some other websites that I like!

 

[Mari17]

Hello and thank you for the reply, I am familiar with ERP and have had the therapy and I do still use those tools to try and help my thought process. In fact some of the treatment would actually be to say and record the feared vow and listen to it over and over until my brain basically becomes numb to the idea. Unfortunately I haven't built myself up to this yet as I don't have the courage. There are so many contradictory comments on vows which doesn't help but I'm pretty sure a sinful one isn't binding anyway.

Some other resources about religious OCD and scrupulosity are:
Blog - Scrupulosity.com
Mental Health - ACCFS
Breaking Free of OCD: My Battle With Mental Pain and How God Rescued Me by Jeff Wells
Strivings Within - The OCD Christian: Overcoming Doubt in the Storm of Anxiety by Mitzi VanCleve

How are you doing with compulsions? Are you able to work on limiting them, and reducing them over time?

 

[Sabertooth]

Please can anyone give me some advice, thank you.

You cannot argue yourself out of OCD any more than you can argue yourself out of a bacterial infection.

1. If you have not done so already, get a psychiatrist (not just a psychologist).
2. Visit a church that is good at dealing with mental illnesses.*

*Like these UK churches,

• Vineyard,
• Assembly of God,
• Foursquare Church

(Links above are locators.)