Hello,
I've battled SSA for about 14 years now. I've never had a girlfriend, never kissed a girl, but it's an attraction that I've been aware of for a long time. Sometimes it's barely a passing thought, but lately I've been acutely aware of the issue. I feel as though I have to police my brain strongly. Pretty much every thought over the last couple days has been a constant reminder of this issue.
I'm aware of ways to fight it--try to focus on other things. Basically, I know the feelings themselves aren't a sin. It's just that I'm hyper aware of them right now and it's driving me nuts.
Distracting yourself isn't enough. Here's God's advice to you:
2 Corinthians 10:3-5
3 For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh.
4 For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds.
5 We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,
Ephesians 6:10-13
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.
11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.
12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.
13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.
You're in a spiritual war every day, the World and its "prince," the devil, bombing you with temptation in the morning and then using lying sneak attacks in the evening (or vice versa), provoking your flesh and insinuating falsehoods into your thinking that lead you away from God into darkness and bondage. No Christian, then, can afford to be lax about their spiritual condition and ignorant of how to wage spiritual warfare.
Homosexuality is a lie of the devil. Full stop. The World over which he has enormous control, speaks his lies concerning this sexual behavior, one of which is that homosexuality is okay, that God hasn't really said it is an abomination.
Romans 1:21-28
21 For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened.
22 Claiming to be wise, they became fools,
23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.
24 Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves,
25 because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.
26 For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature;
27 and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.
28 And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done.
1 Corinthians 6:9-11
9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality,
10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
Jude 1:7
7 just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the cities around them, since they in the same way as these indulged in gross immorality and went after strange flesh, are exhibited as an example in undergoing the punishment of eternal fire.
All around you today the World is pressing you with the devil's propaganda, urging you to submit to homosexual thoughts and desires and accept that these things are as deep in you as your chromosomes and so are natural, beyond your control, and perfectly all right. Beware this lie!
Even if it were true that homosexuality is genetic (which is baloney) God commands the heterosexual person to restrain their sexual impulses, too, natural though they may be. Simply having a strong sexual impulse in whatever direction is not, in God's view, sufficient grounds ever to act upon it. He has ordained a single, very specific context within which a person engages sexually with another: monogamous, heterosexual marriage. The heterosexual fornicator or adulterer, therefore, is just as guilty of wickedness as the person behaving homosexually. God, then, is not placing a unique constraint on the person dealing with homosexual thoughts and feelings, nor is the Church that aligns itself under His authority and moral commands, urging people to forsake homosexuality.
Homosexuality is a sin and as such it will bring you into the corruption and death God promises results from any and all sin. (
Romans 6:23; Galatians 6:7; James 1:14-15) The first casualty of yielding to the demonic lie of homosexuality will be your fellowship with God. There will be no way you can come to enjoy God, to delight in communion with Him as He made you to do, if you indulge in homosexuality. Sin also blinds, deafens and hardens the sinner, over time making them so inured to righteousness that they cannot discern it any longer, calling evil, good and good, evil (
2 Kings 7:14; Jeremiah 19:15; Acts 19:9; Hebrews 3:13; 2 Corinthians 4:4; 1 John 2:11; Psalms 58:3-5; 1 Timothy 4:2, etc.). So, don't fool around with any sin, let alone the abomination of homosexual acts. The price will be more than you ever wanted to pay.
Anyway, I'm probably preaching to the choir here. At least, I hope I am.
Paul wrote in the verses at the top of this post that the Christian person doesn't wage spiritual warfare according to the flesh but in the power of God's might. By His divine power, we cast down those lies that would establish themselves as strongholds in our thinking. How, exactly? Well, as Paul went on to explain, we "take captive" every thought, making them all subject to God, to what He says is right and true. So, when a homosexual thought or feeling arises in you, distraction isn't the answer but a direct assault on these false thoughts and feelings with the power and truth of God. What does God say is the truth about homosexuality? What does God call you to as His child instead? Arm yourself with the Sword of the Spirit which is the word of God, and use it against the lying temptation of homosexuality, cutting it down with God's truth when it arises within you.
Scripture also commands the person who would resist the devil and his destructive deceptions (of which homosexuality is just one) to FIRST submit themselves to God:
James 4:6-10
6 But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”
7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
9 Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.
10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.
1 Peter 5:6-10
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,
7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.
10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
Before you go toe-to-toe with the devil and his lies, submit yourself to God, to His control, to His will and way. If you don't, you not only have the devil as an opponent
but God, too! He resists all those - His own or not - who are not submitted to Him. Submitting to God, though, involves what James spelled out in the passage above:
Cleanse your hands: Confess and forsake your sin - including the sin of not remaining submitted to God throughout every day. (
1 John 1:9; Psalms 119:9)
Purify your heart of double-mindedness: Cast out all false and sinful philosophies, values and pursuits that diminish God in your thinking and that divide your fidelity between Him and whatever these pursuits may be (hobbies, sports, relationships, gaming, fashion, food, sex, entertainment, etc.). (
Matthew 22:36-38; Colossians 2:6-10; James 1:8)
Humble yourself in contrition and sorrow over your sin: One of the reasons we fall into sin is because we don't take God's view of our sin. We shrink the sin we love to insignificance, though God calls it terrible, soul-damning evil. God
hates a lying tongue and causing strife as much as He does murder! (
Proverbs 6:16-19) God despises the evil fantasies we imagine in our minds that, because they are mere fantasies, we believe we can entertain without qualm.
Genesis 6:5-6
5 And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.
6 And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.
Jeremiah 13:9-10
9 Thus says the LORD, After this manner will I mar the pride of Judah, and the great pride of Jerusalem.
10 This evil people, which refuse to hear my words, which walk in the imagination of their heart, and walk after other gods, to serve them, and to worship them, shall even be as this girdle, which is good for nothing.
Jeremiah 16:12-13
12 And you have done worse than your fathers; for, behold, you walk every one after the imagination of his evil heart, that they may not hearken unto me:
13 Therefore will I cast you out...
Until we recognize that our sin is the awful, vile, stuff that it is, whether merely imagined or actual, we will persist in dabbling in it, scarring our conscience, hardening ourselves against God, and totally halting the "abundant life" He intends we should have with Himself. Certainly, too, when sin is a small thing in our eyes, we are prime candidates for demonic deception and bondage.
Every sin we enact begins as a battle within our minds and hearts. Our sin is, really, just the reflection of the battle having been lost on this ground; when we do something evil, it is because we have yielded to it already in our mind and heart. So, take great care to guard your heart and mind from evil. Take every thought captive, as Paul indicated he did, bringing them all into obedience to the authority of Christ, casting out any thought, or imagination, or impulse that defies his rule and truth. And, finally and most importantly, remain submitted to God, to His will and way, to His control, throughout every day. This is God's way to freedom from all sin - including the sin of homosexuality.