- May 1, 2008
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Most of you know me already, but for those of you whom do not know me, my name is Jesus_Freak08, or also JesusFreak2008, and April-Marie in real life.
We all know that we can struggle with our christian life on a daily basis, however these trials and tribulations can sometimes get us down. On my first few days here at CF, I had seeked advice on various relationship topics (cheating, engagement ect ect) and also help in aspects of my life such as pregnancy, and loosing the child. If you were close to me, you also knew there was a time in my life, throughout my CF career in which I was going to be homeless, and another time where I nearly died and ended up hospitalized for two weeks.
On a more personal note, for those of you who do not know me, my name is once again, April-Marie Driesse. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Type 2, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Generalized Anxiety, and Oppositional Defiance Disorder recently, and also several times in my past. My christian life is a constant struggle with the ups and downs, and the trials and tribulations with my mental illness, as well as fighting satan in general.
For a while, my life was going great. I had a decent apartment, a job, my fiancee was employed, and we had a friend named Donald living with us. We also had a dog named Amiago, and he was the love of our life. We had it made. A big screen TV, all our furnishings brand new through Rent A Center, our bills were paid on time. Then in February 2008, life took a toll on us, and Satan took advantage of it. We did not know it then, but the second we had lost faith, was the door that allowed Satan into our life.
February 8th, 2008, was the day we were officially evicted from Village Greene Apartment Complexes in Cocoa, Florida. They evicted us on the lines of "our dog was too large" "third person unathorized living in household" and "plumbing caused purposly" Now, we did disagree with the eviction, because for one, our dog was in the weight requirements of the lease, and we had proof, the plumbing was bad since the third day we were living there, and we told them that Donald was now living with us. We did not have the money, nor the evidence to back most of this up, because it was here say, so we paid our rent, and then we left.
Its a sad thing really, that it takes being homeless, denied a new apartment because of lack of employment and then driving up and down the entire East Coast from Florida to Pennsylvania to realize how much you need God in your life. Jason (my fiancee) and I had forgotten our only father when we were going through all this, and instead were allowing so much sin into our lives, that we did not even realize this. The lesson to that story is that God works in mysterious ways, but so does Satan.
The irony here is that when we had no where to go, and were homeless a second time in less than a month, God allowed Jason's father into his life to help us in a time of need. Jason had not seen his father in over 12 years, and for good reason (I'll get to that in a minute) but at the same time, when allowing Jason's father into our life, we somehow opened the door to Satan yet again. Why you ask? because Jason's father is pure sin. He is addicted to pornography and watches it 24/7 and in May 2007, he molested me, and tried to get me in bed with him, when he knew his son was in a commited relationship with me. We prayed about it, and because the bible strictly says "Honor thy mother and thy father" we agreed that while Jason's dad was wrong, the bible also says "You shouldnt harbour unforgiveness, because how can we be forgiven if we do not forgive others, so pray for forgiveness, and you shall get it in return"
June 2007 was rough. Jason was laid off of work for McDonalds, I was pregnant with Kalleigh, and was told I was due in September of 2007, and we had no income. We were going to be homeless, and this was a fact I had to face. We prayed over it in church, and about a month later, not even 24 hours after Pastor Troy had prayed with Jason for a job, he got a phone call. Panara bread wanted to hire him, and he would start July 21st 2008. It was a miricle.
Also in June 2007, Jason's father became homeless. Because we live in his trailer, we figured that we were not going to turn him away, and so we gave him the spare bedroom, which at the time was a computer room. This was when things had started going downhill. A day after my cousin Officer Andrew Widman was shot and killed, Jason's father once again allowed Satan into our homes to attack us. Jason's dad would swear a lot. He would curse, and put his hands on Jason and I. He would be so ungrateful at times. Donald (the friend we talked about earlier) had returned to our doorstep from Miami, Florida (he left for six months to take care of his father who had a heart attack) and Jason's dad said he cant stay here. A verse in Deutronomy (sp) stuck out to him and I, and this was "a good christian man should not turn his face to a stranger who knocks at his door step. Instead, you should eat with him, drink with him, and give him a home, and in return all your blessings will be bestowed upon you" and so we gave him a place to stay spite Jason's fathers beliefs. A day later, Jason's dad had called the cops to try and kick us out, and they pretty much told him that this was our residence first. Jason's dad then decided okay, I'll move back in with my ex-gf X 2. Her name was Jan. He had been having sexual relations with her, and he begged her for a place to stay for sexual relations in return. Thats a horrid sin right there. He knew I had my college term papers due that day, but he disconnected the internet just to spite me.
Lastly, during the end of June 2007, going into July, I lost my child Kalleigh. I was depressed from this, and everyone knew it. Then Amanda Panzini had died. This killed me inside, and I wished it was me with all my heart and soul. She was just fifteen. It killed me. Then, that fateful day. I was stabbed to my death by *a name I can not name* and ended up hospitalized for two weeks. I was in the ICU, was not breathing. God blessed me, by allowing me to live.
I started to realize that life was worth living. Spite the fact that I am being faced with unknowns right now, I need a lot of prayer. I need prayer for healing, forgiveness, and also that we get the best offer we can on a new apartment, even though our credit stinks. I need prayer that God brings Jason and I together as one, and sometimes soon, and I need prayer to abstain from sexual relations until marraige.
Why did I tell you all this? Simple. So you could learn from me. If you take anything from this, please let it be the one thing that is as follows:
"Do not loose faith in your father God, because when it comes down to it, he is always going to be the only one there for you"
I hope you learn something from this. I am going to become active again on this forum, as well as on and off. I am in the process of moving out of the trailer of Jason's dads and into a new apartment that is my own. Be blessed with this testimony, and please take something with you from this.
We all know that we can struggle with our christian life on a daily basis, however these trials and tribulations can sometimes get us down. On my first few days here at CF, I had seeked advice on various relationship topics (cheating, engagement ect ect) and also help in aspects of my life such as pregnancy, and loosing the child. If you were close to me, you also knew there was a time in my life, throughout my CF career in which I was going to be homeless, and another time where I nearly died and ended up hospitalized for two weeks.
On a more personal note, for those of you who do not know me, my name is once again, April-Marie Driesse. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Type 2, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Generalized Anxiety, and Oppositional Defiance Disorder recently, and also several times in my past. My christian life is a constant struggle with the ups and downs, and the trials and tribulations with my mental illness, as well as fighting satan in general.
For a while, my life was going great. I had a decent apartment, a job, my fiancee was employed, and we had a friend named Donald living with us. We also had a dog named Amiago, and he was the love of our life. We had it made. A big screen TV, all our furnishings brand new through Rent A Center, our bills were paid on time. Then in February 2008, life took a toll on us, and Satan took advantage of it. We did not know it then, but the second we had lost faith, was the door that allowed Satan into our life.
February 8th, 2008, was the day we were officially evicted from Village Greene Apartment Complexes in Cocoa, Florida. They evicted us on the lines of "our dog was too large" "third person unathorized living in household" and "plumbing caused purposly" Now, we did disagree with the eviction, because for one, our dog was in the weight requirements of the lease, and we had proof, the plumbing was bad since the third day we were living there, and we told them that Donald was now living with us. We did not have the money, nor the evidence to back most of this up, because it was here say, so we paid our rent, and then we left.
Its a sad thing really, that it takes being homeless, denied a new apartment because of lack of employment and then driving up and down the entire East Coast from Florida to Pennsylvania to realize how much you need God in your life. Jason (my fiancee) and I had forgotten our only father when we were going through all this, and instead were allowing so much sin into our lives, that we did not even realize this. The lesson to that story is that God works in mysterious ways, but so does Satan.
The irony here is that when we had no where to go, and were homeless a second time in less than a month, God allowed Jason's father into his life to help us in a time of need. Jason had not seen his father in over 12 years, and for good reason (I'll get to that in a minute) but at the same time, when allowing Jason's father into our life, we somehow opened the door to Satan yet again. Why you ask? because Jason's father is pure sin. He is addicted to pornography and watches it 24/7 and in May 2007, he molested me, and tried to get me in bed with him, when he knew his son was in a commited relationship with me. We prayed about it, and because the bible strictly says "Honor thy mother and thy father" we agreed that while Jason's dad was wrong, the bible also says "You shouldnt harbour unforgiveness, because how can we be forgiven if we do not forgive others, so pray for forgiveness, and you shall get it in return"
June 2007 was rough. Jason was laid off of work for McDonalds, I was pregnant with Kalleigh, and was told I was due in September of 2007, and we had no income. We were going to be homeless, and this was a fact I had to face. We prayed over it in church, and about a month later, not even 24 hours after Pastor Troy had prayed with Jason for a job, he got a phone call. Panara bread wanted to hire him, and he would start July 21st 2008. It was a miricle.
Also in June 2007, Jason's father became homeless. Because we live in his trailer, we figured that we were not going to turn him away, and so we gave him the spare bedroom, which at the time was a computer room. This was when things had started going downhill. A day after my cousin Officer Andrew Widman was shot and killed, Jason's father once again allowed Satan into our homes to attack us. Jason's dad would swear a lot. He would curse, and put his hands on Jason and I. He would be so ungrateful at times. Donald (the friend we talked about earlier) had returned to our doorstep from Miami, Florida (he left for six months to take care of his father who had a heart attack) and Jason's dad said he cant stay here. A verse in Deutronomy (sp) stuck out to him and I, and this was "a good christian man should not turn his face to a stranger who knocks at his door step. Instead, you should eat with him, drink with him, and give him a home, and in return all your blessings will be bestowed upon you" and so we gave him a place to stay spite Jason's fathers beliefs. A day later, Jason's dad had called the cops to try and kick us out, and they pretty much told him that this was our residence first. Jason's dad then decided okay, I'll move back in with my ex-gf X 2. Her name was Jan. He had been having sexual relations with her, and he begged her for a place to stay for sexual relations in return. Thats a horrid sin right there. He knew I had my college term papers due that day, but he disconnected the internet just to spite me.
Lastly, during the end of June 2007, going into July, I lost my child Kalleigh. I was depressed from this, and everyone knew it. Then Amanda Panzini had died. This killed me inside, and I wished it was me with all my heart and soul. She was just fifteen. It killed me. Then, that fateful day. I was stabbed to my death by *a name I can not name* and ended up hospitalized for two weeks. I was in the ICU, was not breathing. God blessed me, by allowing me to live.
I started to realize that life was worth living. Spite the fact that I am being faced with unknowns right now, I need a lot of prayer. I need prayer for healing, forgiveness, and also that we get the best offer we can on a new apartment, even though our credit stinks. I need prayer that God brings Jason and I together as one, and sometimes soon, and I need prayer to abstain from sexual relations until marraige.
Why did I tell you all this? Simple. So you could learn from me. If you take anything from this, please let it be the one thing that is as follows:
"Do not loose faith in your father God, because when it comes down to it, he is always going to be the only one there for you"
I hope you learn something from this. I am going to become active again on this forum, as well as on and off. I am in the process of moving out of the trailer of Jason's dads and into a new apartment that is my own. Be blessed with this testimony, and please take something with you from this.
