Single Among The Married

[krstlros]

It's been years since I've been uncomforttable bieing the only single amongst my married friends.

But I was just wondering, when didi you stop feeling like the seventh wheel among your married friends? Is being the lone or one of the few singles in your church still akward for you?

 

[hischildsindik]

I often find it ackward at church and in small gatherings, even among friends. At church it's hard because my pastor has an interesting sense of humor and he will sometimes tell us to look at our neighbor and say something to them. Well when you sit in the row or even whole section and you're the only one alone, it's hard to find a neighbor and look them square in the eye and say what we're "supposed" to say. Next time I might just whip out a mirror.

 

[Victorian Rose]

I often find it ackward at church and in small gatherings, even among friends. At church it's hard because my pastor has an interesting sense of humor and he will sometimes tell us to look at our neighbor and say something to them. Well when you sit in the row or even whole section and you're the only one alone, it's hard to find a neighbor and look them square in the eye and say what we're "supposed" to say. Next time I might just whip out a mirror.

The singles in my church sit together. I don't sit with them because I sit with my mom.

To answer the OP no I don't feel uncomfortable in groups madeup of mostly married couples. I join right in or sit back and listen depending upon my mood. Mostly it's joining in/butting in.

 

[KeilCoppes]

Well when you sit in the row or even whole section and you're the only one alone, it's hard to find a neighbor and look them square in the eye and say what we're "supposed" to say. Next time I might just whip out a mirror.

(chuckle) I sit in the back with the sound equipment - hence no problem.

On the other hand, it can be challenging when you're always the last one there at church taking care of things. You get to the end and realize that everyone else has gone home to family. It's that point that I have to take a mental step back, thank God for the blessings I do have, switch mental gears into week mode and go on.

It can also be awkward when you think about having married company over that has children or when you simply want to have some personal company.

 

[Learnin'2-4Give]

Well, I belong to a tiny church. On a really good Sunday, there may be 30 people there! Most are older than 60, but we do have some young ones to. Even a baby!

The last guy I dated belonged to a bigger church in a small city and I started going with him. Course, I was part of a "couple" there and all of "our" friends were married couples. He dumped me 3 weeks ago, but, I am still going to church there. He wants me to go there. (that's a whole other thread though!!)

So, now, I am "suddenly-single" in a church I have only been attending for a few months and I am such a fish out of water! I love "his" friends, but feel funny sitting with them.

So, YA!!! I really understand this awkward thing!! In fact, it is just a little overwhelming--lol!

I really do have so many blessings in my life. It's just hard right now.

 

[KeilCoppes]

Well, I belong to a tiny church. On a really good Sunday, there may be 30 people there! Most are older than 60, but we do have some young ones to. Even a baby!

You make me feel like my church of 60 is a good-sized church and when we were at 180 we were a megachurch! On the other hand when we started there were 31 that first week. :^)

 

[Learnin'2-4Give]

Wow!! 60!!! Lol!

The one I am going to now has 200-ish. It seems so huge!!

 

[HoosierCanuck]

Actually, I'm more uncomfortable around singles. Also, I feel that marrieds are more uncomfortable around ME than I am around THEM. It's almost like they feel some sort of pity or something... 'poor HC, she's been single for so long.' They've become comfortable in the married setting and can't imagine being comfortable in the single setting.

 

[KeilCoppes]

Wow!! 60!!! Lol!

The one I am going to now has 200-ish. It seems so huge!!

'Round about that size the group dynamic changes - I'd be more than ready to split into two 100's or a 130 and a 70, just to get the family feeling back and keep it close. On the other hand, I once had a church family of about 150 in my current church... :^)

 

[wvmtnkid]

Sometimes it bothers me, sometimes it doesn't. I think it depends on the situation and who I am around as to whether I am bothered by it. With some groups of friends, it really makes no matter to me that I am pretty much the only single one there. The majority of my friends are married with children. I have a whole range of age groups of friends.

I guess the place that it bothers me the most is at a business gathering. I don't like to be by myself then. Or at a wedding. Even sometimes at church. Sometimes some activites are so family oriented that being single can really make you feel like the odd man, or woman out.

 

[krstlros]

I must admit, it's glaringly aparent when I'm with family, because I'm the last single person amongst my cousins, who are all married and have children of their own.

Funny thing is, all my little nieces and nephews all ended up being my godchildren, so even if I'm not "physically" a Mom, I'm a Mom "Spiritually".