- May 12, 2006
- 169
- 7
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Republican
My Testimony:
I remember, when I was little I hated going to church. I thought it was boring. Yet every time I would do something “religious” like communion, I would cry. I would always get sad. After my Paster left the church, we basically stopped attending also. It seems as though Satan had a strong hold on me then because I never went to church, or got active with religious things or ever followed God. Yet sometimes, I would think of Him. At that point in my life, I started questioning and doubting about God. Thinking He wasn’t reall, or heaven is fake, or Religions is a thing that is made up by people in this world to get hope. I just doubted and questioned a lot. Thoughts just plagued my mind that God is fake.
But luckily, friends of mine who lived close to me started bringing me to different churches with them. Then they brought me to Daybreak. (The Church I Am With Now) At daybreak, I found a lot of cool and friendly people. But after attending Daybreak for a month or two, I still felt far away from God. I never bothered worshipping or singing either. I then started feeling more and more doubts and questions like never before until I couldn’t stand it any more. So one Sunday, I wanted to ask my youth Paster for help, and I did. He gave me a book to look over that would answer most of my problems. Getting this book “Touch Points for Students” seemed to be the key beginning with a relationship with God.
Finally after several months of searching and questioning and talking with a lot of other Christians, I finally got to know God. Most of my questions were answered and I started growing closer and closer to God yet I never really committed to him yet. One year, the Youth had a fall retreat which is where the youth ministry would go somewhere and spend time with God and have some fun. Never thinking that this would be the biggest point of my life, I went. One night at the retreat, we had a special time with God and we would silently go to stations and read about Jesus and god, pray and would have a chance to do Communion. When I went to the first station and sat down, I cried. I cried so hard, I couldn’t stop. All I could think of while I was crying was how I used to think about God and my relationship that I have with Him now. I cried for longer than an hour w/out stopping. I couldn’t figure out why. Then finally inmidst of my crying, I finally told myself that I need to accept God and need to really live for God. I told myself that I need to live like everyone else- I just looked at other people and at other Christians and their happiness and their relationships with Christ, I knew I never had and I would like the same. Finally after I told myself all of these things, I stopped crying and I went to another Youth Paster, and asked him to pray for me. I told him all I could, but while I was talking, I started crying again. (I felt really bad for him because I don’t think he could hear and understand what I was saying). After we prayed, I did communion and I felt good. After I walked out, I felt really relieved and happy. I now know that God had won over a complete battle over Satan. When I look back, I know that before I really accepted Christ and God, Satan had a hold of me and evertime I got close to God, I would always cry with shame and guilt. But now, I never cry with shame and guilt, I cry with happiness and I now know that I am with god and I am on the right track. Yet right now, even though I am on the road with God, my road will turn and wind a little. I still have severe questions, and those questions come up every single day. But these questions aren’t as bad. These questions now comes with answers. And with these answers I am able to help other people who are going through tough times and questioning too.
I remember, when I was little I hated going to church. I thought it was boring. Yet every time I would do something “religious” like communion, I would cry. I would always get sad. After my Paster left the church, we basically stopped attending also. It seems as though Satan had a strong hold on me then because I never went to church, or got active with religious things or ever followed God. Yet sometimes, I would think of Him. At that point in my life, I started questioning and doubting about God. Thinking He wasn’t reall, or heaven is fake, or Religions is a thing that is made up by people in this world to get hope. I just doubted and questioned a lot. Thoughts just plagued my mind that God is fake.
But luckily, friends of mine who lived close to me started bringing me to different churches with them. Then they brought me to Daybreak. (The Church I Am With Now) At daybreak, I found a lot of cool and friendly people. But after attending Daybreak for a month or two, I still felt far away from God. I never bothered worshipping or singing either. I then started feeling more and more doubts and questions like never before until I couldn’t stand it any more. So one Sunday, I wanted to ask my youth Paster for help, and I did. He gave me a book to look over that would answer most of my problems. Getting this book “Touch Points for Students” seemed to be the key beginning with a relationship with God.
Finally after several months of searching and questioning and talking with a lot of other Christians, I finally got to know God. Most of my questions were answered and I started growing closer and closer to God yet I never really committed to him yet. One year, the Youth had a fall retreat which is where the youth ministry would go somewhere and spend time with God and have some fun. Never thinking that this would be the biggest point of my life, I went. One night at the retreat, we had a special time with God and we would silently go to stations and read about Jesus and god, pray and would have a chance to do Communion. When I went to the first station and sat down, I cried. I cried so hard, I couldn’t stop. All I could think of while I was crying was how I used to think about God and my relationship that I have with Him now. I cried for longer than an hour w/out stopping. I couldn’t figure out why. Then finally inmidst of my crying, I finally told myself that I need to accept God and need to really live for God. I told myself that I need to live like everyone else- I just looked at other people and at other Christians and their happiness and their relationships with Christ, I knew I never had and I would like the same. Finally after I told myself all of these things, I stopped crying and I went to another Youth Paster, and asked him to pray for me. I told him all I could, but while I was talking, I started crying again. (I felt really bad for him because I don’t think he could hear and understand what I was saying). After we prayed, I did communion and I felt good. After I walked out, I felt really relieved and happy. I now know that God had won over a complete battle over Satan. When I look back, I know that before I really accepted Christ and God, Satan had a hold of me and evertime I got close to God, I would always cry with shame and guilt. But now, I never cry with shame and guilt, I cry with happiness and I now know that I am with god and I am on the right track. Yet right now, even though I am on the road with God, my road will turn and wind a little. I still have severe questions, and those questions come up every single day. But these questions aren’t as bad. These questions now comes with answers. And with these answers I am able to help other people who are going through tough times and questioning too.
