Quick Intro

[Weathering Storms]

Hi. I just wanted to introduce myself. I have been taking care of my husband for 13 years. When our twins were 6 weeks old, he began having strokes. He's had 37 strokes since then. and has had zero kidney function for almost 4 years, doing peritoneal dialysis.

I also have an 18 yr old with Autism and Panic disorder; a 13 year old with Autism, ADHD, and has had a traumatic brain injury; and his twin, who has major depression and a seizure disorder.

I guess I'm trying to say, I'm tired.

My extended family, sisters and dad and step mom, have let me know that their life is "none of my G D business." Let's put it this way. My dad's wedding back in August was beautiful, both my sisters, all her kids and grandkids, etc. in beautiful family pics - and I found out about it on facebook.

I have no idea why they have decided to exclude me. But I've walked away from them. I believe they are angry that I did not go down there (2 hrs away) and help very much when my mother barely survived a massive stroke. She held on for 6 months. I went down as much as possible, but I had to care for my husband and kids, too.

Anyway, I'm so tired. I'm praying for a better year. I pray for peace, and love this year. I pray for health - my health is going down hill very quickly as well. I need to be healthy.

 

[Basil the Great]

May God give you peace and the strength to carry on, Weathering Storms. God bless you!

 

[Winken]

Lord, hear her prayer! A better year, peace, love, health!

 

[SkyWriting]

Hi. I just wanted to introduce myself. I have been taking care of my husband for 13 years. When our twins were 6 weeks old, he began having strokes. He's had 37 strokes since then. and has had zero kidney function for almost 4 years, doing peritoneal dialysis.

I also have an 18 yr old with Autism and Panic disorder; a 13 year old with Autism, ADHD, and has had a traumatic brain injury; and his twin, who has major depression and a seizure disorder.

I guess I'm trying to say, I'm tired.

My extended family, sisters and dad and step mom, have let me know that their life is "none of my G D business." Let's put it this way. My dad's wedding back in August was beautiful, both my sisters, all her kids and grandkids, etc. in beautiful family pics - and I found out about it on facebook.

I have no idea why they have decided to exclude me. But I've walked away from them. I believe they are angry that I did not go down there (2 hrs away) and help very much when my mother barely survived a massive stroke. She held on for 6 months. I went down as much as possible, but I had to care for my husband and kids, too.

Anyway, I'm so tired. I'm praying for a better year. I pray for peace, and love this year. I pray for health - my health is going down hill very quickly as well. I need to be healthy.

At your wedding, you may have said "Till death do us part".
So you have to decide if you are going to die taking care
of your husband, or perhaps others will die becasue you
are so tired. I was close to those 2 deaths and decided
that my marriage had to end, to save lives. It was a
hard choice. Perhaps you can find options I didn't find.

 

[Humble me Lord]

May God bless you and answer your prayers

 

[Weathering Storms]

At your wedding, you may have said "Till death do us part".
So you have to decide if you are going to die taking care
of your husband, or perhaps others will die becasue you
are so tired. I was close to those 2 deaths and decided
that my marriage had to end, to save lives. It was a
hard choice. Perhaps you can find options I didn't find.

If you are suggesting I leave my husband because he is sick. then you have more issues than I do. What kind of person stays with a spouse until they get sick, then abandon them?

I love my husband. I would never leave him, for anything or any one in this world. Jesus said let not man put asunder. Certainly, if we were to only stay with our spouse until it became inconvenient or difficult, we would have a pathetically poor view of marriage. It is this attitude that is causing even Christians to divorce for extremely NON-Biblical reasons. And it is hugely sinful.

I can't see how others would die because I am so tired. Please do not respond to my posts again. You have no idea what "Godly marriage" means.

 

[Weathering Storms]

BTW, I don't believe in divorce, except in cases of abuse or cheating, and the cheating only if it reoccurs after counseling.

 

[SkyWriting]

If you are suggesting I leave my husband because he is sick. then you have more issues than I do. What kind of person stays with a spouse until they get sick, then abandon them?

A large percentage of spouse care-givers do die before the
person they care for does. This leaves the cared-for person
with far fewer options. You do have that choice. I imagine
they are all types of people who continue, and those who don't.

My mom was near total health failure and she regrets every day
that she moved dad into a nursing home where he died. She regrets
saving her health for his life. He would have ended up there after
her passing anyway.

 

[SkyWriting]

BTW, I don't believe in divorce, except in cases of abuse or cheating, and the cheating only if it reoccurs after counseling.

I don't believe in divorce either. But I was so tired of my full time job and
70 more hours caring for my wife that, dosing off in traffic, I rear ended a
car surrounded by kids in a school zone. I decided killing a kid would be
too high a price to pay to continue being a caregiver. As I said, perhaps
you have other options. I had already stopped for a nap on the way home
and had outside caregivers, so felt I had exhausted my options. I felt with
my own organ failure from fatigue and painkiller abuse that meand or others
dying due to my failing health was not a moral obligation God required of me.
It goes to show that obligations to God are personal and cannot be imposed
by others, as the scriptures maintain.

 

[Weathering Storms]

It is not either total exhaustion or divorce

There are other options.
Are we to abandon our spouses when it becomes hard?
Is that what Christ does with us? Deal with us until it gets hard and then dump us for an easier life?

I dont' get it.

 

[Weathering Storms]

I don't believe in divorce either. But I was so tired of my full time job and
70 more hours caring for my wife that, dosing off in traffic, I rear ended a
car surrounded by kids in a school zone. I decided killing a kid would be
too high a price to pay to continue being a caregiver. As I said, perhaps
you have other options. I had already stopped for a nap on the way home
and had outside caregivers, so felt I had exhausted my options. I felt with
my own organ failure from fatigue and painkiller abuse that meand or others
dying due to my failing health was not a moral obligation God required of me.
It goes to show that obligations to God are personal and cannot be imposed
by others, as the scriptures maintain.

Jesus Himself said that except for fornication, divorce was not an option for His followers. You think your "obligations to God" contradict the Son of God?

I'm not saying you "took an easy way out," but God will always provide a way that does not contradict His Word. I know that my church family would help me out some. But even if I had no help at all, I made a vow to God and my husband. I will not go back on it. God always provides. ALWAYS.

How is abandoning your responsibility to your wife in any way Godly, or "exhausting your options?"
Did you try an apartment at an assisted living home or nursing facility? Could you have applied for disability for yourself, so that you could be home with her? I gave up a 15 year career to care for my husband. We gave up our house and moved to subsidized housing. We gave up vacations, and new cars and a great deal of dignity. We had to move half-way across the state, away from church and family. While it was tough, it ended up being the best thing that ever happened to us.

And we kept our family together.

 

[SkyWriting]

Jesus Himself said that except for fornication, divorce was not an option for His followers. You think your "obligations to God" contradict the Son of God?

I'm not saying you "took an easy way out," but God will always provide a way that does not contradict His Word. I know that my church family would help me out some. But even if I had no help at all, I made a vow to God and my husband. I will not go back on it. God always provides. ALWAYS.

How is abandoning your responsibility to your wife in any way Godly, or "exhausting your options?"
Did you try an apartment at an assisted living home or nursing facility? Could you have applied for disability for yourself, so that you could be home with her? I gave up a 15 year career to care for my husband. We gave up our house and moved to subsidized housing. We gave up vacations, and new cars and a great deal of dignity. We had to move half-way across the state, away from church and family. While it was tough, it ended up being the best thing that ever happened to us.

And we kept our family together.

And yet, I still don't judge your failings.

 

[Weathering Storms]

Yeah, well I'm not advising that someone go against God's Word in order to make my life easier, either.

Scripture says we are not to judge those outside the brethren. But we are to judge the brethren rightly.
I came here for support, CHRISTIAN support. Not someone telling me that going against the God I worship is in any way a viable alternative.

I'm not trying to be mean. But you have given me the same advice as my pagan sister and father. I was looking for something else.

 

[Weathering Storms]

And I thank you graciously for the advice on "Nebbies."
I will watch better from now on.